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How To Be Single? (stupid I know)

Performance Based

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Alright guys pardon me if this is in the wrong section, didn't think counseling would have been the best section.

Fiance and I split for good, 2.5 years together. Terrible relationship. But thats not the point.

I am in my mid twenties, successful, nice body, educated, have copious amounts of free time, travel for pleasure out of the country 4-6 times a year w/ spouse, and love to spoil whomever I am with. I know I have alot to offer in a relationship but have huge self esteem issues. I have only been in two serious relationships, both were absolutely terrible. Its embarrassing to say as a guy but extreme mental, emotional, physical abuse.

1) Clothes/Appearance? Any websites good for ordering clothing? I am looking at my wardrobe, some nice stuff but its most all ripped/torn/holes from fights over the years with her.

Any appearance things? I'm pretty good at body hair removal but to be honest I don't really take care of my physical appearance anymore besides that and hair cuts.

2) Meeting women, what are some good places to do this? I don't go to bars/clubs. Pretty much just the gym besides work (no females) and school. I have completely forgotten how to talk to women. I for the most part haven't been allowed to even speak to men/women for the past two years unless my significant other was present and to be honest I no longer have social skills.

Had a girl eyeing me all night last night at the gym, tried to talk to her and her headphones were in, didn't think she noticed, about 10 minutes later she comes up and tries to talk to me and I completely clamed up, started sweating, and nearly fainted.Just said "oh sorry thought you were someone else".

Trying to piece my life back together but I have been in either absolutely terrible relationships for the past 6 years or overseas and I honestly don't know where to start.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
Well, as far as clothing, that Hot Bodz website actually has some decent stuff. I just bought a pile of shit from them and it is made for bodybuilders.

Their neck sizes suck though if you have a neck over 20".

As far as the self esteem stuff...some shit you have to work out on your own or seek counseling. It sounds like your issues exceed the realm of just being related to have troubles speaking to women.

All guys have that problem. Some just don't let it affect them because they know if they get rejected, if they keep trying, eventually one won't.
 
Female Advise?

Relax! Deep breaths! I'm not comfortable offering advise on here but can PM you if you wish.
 
pretty common

Are you just having trouble initiating convo with females or is it you just need advice on clothes and where to meet women?

For the conversation part- this sounds funny and stupid but it worked for me multiple times and is how I snagged my wife who is totaly out of my league. Imagine the hot chick you are about to approach doing somethin like for example taking a shit LOL no joke... then go talk to her. It is much easier to talk to them if your not intimidated.. thats the theory behind it. yours does not have to be as gross as mine..

As for clothes- Lacoste, polo, lucky, banana republic, armani, stuff from the buckle website.... all good options...


places- the supermarket for sure!!!
 
Well, as far as clothing, that Hot Bodz website actually has some decent stuff. I just bought a pile of shit from them and it is made for bodybuilders.

Their neck sizes suck though if you have a neck over 20".

As far as the self esteem stuff...some shit you have to work out on your own or seek counseling. It sounds like your issues exceed the realm of just being related to have troubles speaking to women.

All guys have that problem. Some just don't let it affect them because they know if they get rejected, if they keep trying, eventually one won't.



yah I was actually just checking them out, some of it looks a little "douchebagish" though if that makes sense?

I am going to counseling actually for self esteem issues. It is making a difference and thank you for the honest opinion bud.

I will shoot you a PM too dunc!

Ultimately I just want to find someone that will treat me decently and wants a serious relationship. I can say with all confidence that I no longer have any emotional attatchement to her at this point.
 
yah I was actually just checking them out, some of it looks a little "douchebagish" though if that makes sense?

I am going to counseling actually for self esteem issues. It is making a difference and thank you for the honest opinion bud.

Stick with their "dress shirts" and "short sleeve shirts" and you will look more "mature". I don't like the douchebag look either but I also don't like that most clothes today are made for sedentary people so no real dress shirt or polo is going to show off what you worked hard for unless it has some stretch to the fabric.

As far as women, you will never figure them out...but the fact that you have allowed yourself to get involved in more than one abusive relationship means you need to work on yourself first.
 
Glad to hear your out of that relationship but sorry to hear about some of the problems you are having.

Clothing: Go to Nordstroms and hirer a personal stylist. This is basically a professional shopper and someone who can help pick out outfits/styles that are most flattering and fit you best. This isnt the cheapest way but sounds like you should spend some money on yourself for a change. And being confident in the way you dress and your appearance might be able overcome some of the other issues. They might also be able to recommend someone to help with any other appearance issues your worried about (hair, eyebrows, ect)

Social: Do you have any guy friends? If so, start hanging out with them more. You will realize they all have the same issues and insecurities as yourself. Its also a lot easier to meet people through other people if your shy or apprehensive about approaching others too.

I know you didn't think the counseling section would be the best place but i would seriously consider seeing a counselor or therapist. No shame in this man...
 
actually for self esteem issues.


This IS HUGE. Woman can smell confidence a mile away. I'm naturally an extremely nice guy - the one that gets taken advantage of (sounds like you). I had to bring out the dickness/egotistical/cocky in me (it was hard) to seem confident.
 
If you're that bad at it invest in improving in this area! I'm sure you read up on nutrition, training and AAS before taking the plunge, right? So take the same approach to dating by reading up on interacting with women as well. I know it's a bit crass, but "don't put the pussy on a pedestal". Act like you should be the one being pursued and you'll have better results.

Is your E2 high? That might explain the anxiety lol.
 
Are you just having trouble initiating convo with females or is it you just need advice on clothes and where to meet women?

As for clothes- Lacoste, polo, lucky, banana republic, armani, stuff from the buckle website.... all good options...

places- the supermarket for sure!!!



I am having issues w/ both. I don't fit into most of those brands, and most of them I have noticed no longer carry XXL?


Yeah...if you can fit into them.

lol no kidding man


Glad to hear your out of that relationship but sorry to hear about some of the problems you are having.

Clothing: Go to Nordstroms and hirer a personal stylist. This is basically a professional shopper and someone who can help pick out outfits/styles that are most flattering and fit you best. This isnt the cheapest way but sounds like you should spend some money on yourself for a change. And being confident in the way you dress and your appearance might be able overcome some of the other issues. They might also be able to recommend someone to help with any other appearance issues your worried about (hair, eyebrows, ect)

Social: Do you have any guy friends? If so, start hanging out with them more. You will realize they all have the same issues and insecurities as yourself. Its also a lot easier to meet people through other people if your shy or apprehensive about approaching others too.

I know you didn't think the counseling section would be the best place but i would seriously consider seeing a counselor or therapist. No shame in this man...

Unfortunately no guy friends, came back from Iraq and moved across state. Met her and I haven't really been allowed, I guess you could say, to have friends male/female.

Currently seeing a counselor. The Nordstroms idea is a good idea actually, thank you



This IS HUGE. Woman can smell confidence a mile away. I'm naturally an extremely nice guy - the one that gets taken advantage of (sounds like you). I had to bring out the dickness/egotistical/cocky in me (it was hard) to seem confident.

Yah I am right there with you, I am having issues with that initial contact. Once I actually get into the conversation I am fine, but man I can deal w/ isalmic extremists, violent criminals, and cartel assets and not break a sweat but put a pretty woman next to me and I will start shaking!
 
Pick up your weapon and get back to work you pussy


Just kidding bro , i have found that if you have a decient income and time to "play" that women who don't respect you will quickly abuse you , taking your kindness as a weakness.

As for the clothes , if your like me you poretty much screwed cause everyhting these days is geared toward skinny midgets , they just stick a 2x tag in them to make sombody feel good
 
Mid twenties, successfull, and tons of free time? Do you mind me asking what kind of job you have?

As for clothing, go for designer brands. If women see your wearing expensive clothes, look nice and physically fit, what more can they want? Once you got that down it's all how you talk to them. You can meet women anywhere these days. If your with friends, go to a bar or club. If your alone try a cafe. If you go on vacation to the carribean there are hot women on the beach 24/7
 
As for the clothes , if your like me you poretty much screwed cause everyhting these days is geared toward skinny midgets , they just stick a 2x tag in them to make sombody feel good



A-men. If I can put on a XXXL t-shirt and can barely get my head through, someone fucked up with the sizes.

Surprisingly though, Old Navy's website has some t-shirts that do fit well as far as "moisture wicking". For dressier clothes though, if anyone knows of one better than Hotbodz for weight lifters, let me know.

If you can walk into the Gap and buy clothes off the rack, you may not get the point.
 
Glad to hear your out of that relationship but sorry to hear about some of the problems you are having.

Clothing: Go to Nordstroms and hirer a personal stylist. This is basically a professional shopper and someone who can help pick out outfits/styles that are most flattering and fit you best. This isnt the cheapest way but sounds like you should spend some money on yourself for a change. And being confident in the way you dress and your appearance might be able overcome some of the other issues. They might also be able to recommend someone to help with any other appearance issues your worried about (hair, eyebrows, ect)

Social: Do you have any guy friends? If so, start hanging out with them more. You will realize they all have the same issues and insecurities as yourself. Its also a lot easier to meet people through other people if your shy or apprehensive about approaching others too.

I know you didn't think the counseling section would be the best place but i would seriously consider seeing a counselor or therapist. No shame in this man...

This advice is very good, I second all this.

Dont worry about getting into another relationship for a long time, there are thousands of shit women out there for every decent one. Be highly selective when it comes to choosing women to be close to, be highly selective when it comes to choosing male friends also.

After you get your clothes go on a vacation to some Club Med or something in a beautiful place, you will meet girls there to sleep with and that will take your mind off your old girl. You could just go to some cool countries and meet girls without Club Med. Maybe go to Brazil and check it out, the women there are extremely sexually agressive and super hot. Going on vacation without a girlfriend is IMO 1 million times more fun than bringing her along. The feel of a new place to explore and new women to conquer is a very good feeling.

Copious amounts of free time on your hands is IMO not a good thing, it sounds good and many people dream about such things, but in reality you need something to focus on that you get satisfaction from. Keep yourself busy with something, study something at least
 
Mid twenties, successfull, and tons of free time? Do you mind me asking what kind of job you have?

As for clothing, go for designer brands. If women see your wearing expensive clothes, look nice and physically fit, what more can they want? Once you got that down it's all how you talk to them. You can meet women anywhere these days. If your with friends, go to a bar or club. If your alone try a cafe. If you go on vacation to the carribean there are hot women on the beach 24/7

That sounds like a great way to attract gold diggers. That sounds like part of the problem in the first place.

I don't tell women I have shit until I know them better.
 
Mid twenties, successfull, and tons of free time? Do you mind me asking what kind of job you have?

As for clothing, go for designer brands. If women see your wearing expensive clothes, look nice and physically fit, what more can they want? Once you got that down it's all how you talk to them. You can meet women anywhere these days. If your with friends, go to a bar or club. If your alone try a cafe. If you go on vacation to the carribean there are hot women on the beach 24/7

I provide contractual tactical services to various federal, law enforcement, and military run agencies. I have never traveled by myself, how do you guys not get lonely?

A-men. If I can put on a XXXL t-shirt and can barely get my head through, someone fucked up with the sizes.

Surprisingly though, Old Navy's website has some t-shirts that do fit well as far as "moisture wicking". For dressier clothes though, if anyone knows of one better than Hotbodz for weight lifters, let me know.

If you can walk into the Gap and buy clothes off the rack, you may not get the point.

I have a few XXL polo brand dress shirts, actually fit well. Express and other brands I can fit my chest in but not my back

This advice is very good, I second all this.

Dont worry about getting into another relationship for a long time, there are thousands of shit women out there for every decent one. Be highly selective when it comes to choosing women to be close to, be highly selective when it comes to choosing male friends also.

After you get your clothes go on a vacation to some Club Med or something in a beautiful place, you will meet girls there to sleep with and that will take your mind off your old girl. You could just go to some cool countries and meet girls without Club Med. Maybe go to Brazil and check it out, the women there are extremely sexually agressive and super hot. Going on vacation without a girlfriend is IMO 1 million times more fun than bringing her along. The feel of a new place to explore and new women to conquer is a very good feeling.

Copious amounts of free time on your hands is IMO not a good thing, it sounds good and many people dream about such things, but in reality you need something to focus on that you get satisfaction from. Keep yourself busy with something, study something at least

You really think its not a good idea not to get into a relationship w/ someone else if there is no emotional/baggage issues with her? I am trying to find some things to keep myself busy as well. I have one semester left to finishing my bachelors so other than school and work a few times a month I have way too much time on my hands

That sounds like a great way to attract gold diggers. That sounds like part of the problem in the first place.

I don't tell women I have shit until I know them better.

It is, I am done spending alot of money on women starting off or even after a while of being together. I was talking to one girl for about 2 weeks, checked my bank account. Spent over 1,200 on us just hanging out the few times that we did (5 times) never even got a kiss to be honest
 
Hey, good to see you are out of that relationship. Like I said before, in your mid twenties it shouldn't have to be that hard. Stick to the counseling for a little (it will help get you out of the social bubble you've been in). I have seen and read many posts you have made in the last few weeks and honestly all good stuff. I wish you the best and may the future bring you much ass.:headbang:

PS Stay single for a while and enjoy it.
 
That sounds like a great way to attract gold diggers. That sounds like part of the problem in the first place.

I don't tell women I have shit until I know them better.

That's true but I never said to spend all your money on them. You're in control of your money not them. Women like powerful, successful men, gold diggers or not. When you get the feeling there after your money, give her a nice fuck and kick her out the door afterwards.
 
It is, I am done spending alot of money on women starting off or even after a while of being together. I was talking to one girl for about 2 weeks, checked my bank account. Spent over 1,200 on us just hanging out the few times that we did (5 times) never even got a kiss to be honest

Been there. I just got a new car so it makes it worse. The one thing that helped me is most assume I am a bouncer or something so they don't immediately start planning how to spend my money.

Finding random ass is easy. Finding someone you actually want to be with who won't use your status or success to this point is going to be damned hard.

It's a recession, dude. They will cling like a life preserver to the man who still has a boat.
 

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