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  • 4 Post By OuchThatHurts
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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2015, 12:57 AM
g0ttequila's Avatar
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 462
Substance dependency...

hello dear PM friends


I've always had a drug filled past, i left the heavy stuff behind me after a near death experience and picked up bodybuilding.

I've been on kratom and phenibut for years daily, sometimes only one of those three, sometimes a combination.
I could never completely let go of sedatives and stimulants as you can see, lying to myself that just because it's OTC it's not a real drug.


I can still function properly on the stuff, it's not like i'm wasted 24/7.
I can still work out properly, have a lean physique and get stronger.
I look healthy too, women tend to "like" me, if you get where im going.
I'm the life of every party and event, I'm the happy dude that's never down. (duh)

So in one way, I don't feel the need to quit 'cause I'm doing well, making good money, business blooming...
But in another way I don't want to feel dependent on shit, and not feel worthless and shitty when I don't take something.
Trying a couple days off results in severe apathy, low motivation, low energy, anxiety, social troubles...

I want to get off everything. I'm concerned of the long term effects, plus this shit is not free.
But I'm scared my business will not go well or my relationships will suffer.

You see, I mainly use the stuff to take the edge off things yet boost me during the day (im a store manager) and calm me down at night so i can watch tv/read stuff in peace.


Maybe someone can guide me in the right direction as which products or herbals that are healthy/healthier alternatives to Kratom/Phenibut/alcohol?

I've looked in to valerian but it fucks my stomach and i feel "out of it".
L-Theanine I've tried before but didnt do jack, perhaps it was a bad product?...

On the other hand using ANOTHER drug/supplement to stop side effects or withdrawal of something seems like an endless loop?

Do I need therapy? Yoga?

cruising on 0.4ml of test enth every 4 days with 0.25mg arimidex eod


Thank you all for reading, I love this place. I love you guys.

Rob
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2015, 01:17 AM
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Posts: 462
just noticed wrong subforum, i meant to put this in "counseling" maybe can a mod move this please?

thanks
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2015, 01:24 AM
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Check your PM
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Old 10-10-2015, 02:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by g0ttequila View Post
hello dear PM friends


I've always had a drug filled past, i left the heavy stuff behind me after a near death experience and picked up bodybuilding.

I've been on kratom and phenibut for years daily, sometimes only one of those three, sometimes a combination.
I could never completely let go of sedatives and stimulants as you can see, lying to myself that just because it's OTC it's not a real drug.


I can still function properly on the stuff, it's not like i'm wasted 24/7.
I can still work out properly, have a lean physique and get stronger.
I look healthy too, women tend to "like" me, if you get where im going.
I'm the life of every party and event, I'm the happy dude that's never down. (duh)

So in one way, I don't feel the need to quit 'cause I'm doing well, making good money, business blooming...
But in another way I don't want to feel dependent on shit, and not feel worthless and shitty when I don't take something.
Trying a couple days off results in severe apathy, low motivation, low energy, anxiety, social troubles...

I want to get off everything. I'm concerned of the long term effects, plus this shit is not free.
But I'm scared my business will not go well or my relationships will suffer.

You see, I mainly use the stuff to take the edge off things yet boost me during the day (im a store manager) and calm me down at night so i can watch tv/read stuff in peace.


Maybe someone can guide me in the right direction as which products or herbals that are healthy/healthier alternatives to Kratom/Phenibut/alcohol?

I've looked in to valerian but it fucks my stomach and i feel "out of it".
L-Theanine I've tried before but didnt do jack, perhaps it was a bad product?...

On the other hand using ANOTHER drug/supplement to stop side effects or withdrawal of something seems like an endless loop?

Do I need therapy? Yoga?

cruising on 0.4ml of test enth every 4 days with 0.25mg arimidex eod


Thank you all for reading, I love this place. I love you guys.

Rob
And trade one addiction for another? No. Look, you're textbook. Everything from the rationalizing to trying to convince us you're still productive, etc. You need treatment. We can be supportive but we can't (or damn well shouldn't) be offering mind or mood-altering alternatives to an admitted addict. There is some evidence that predisposition to addictive behavior can be genetic. There is also evidence that it is learned behavior. You need to sit down with someone and work this out. In this forum, we help out with heartbreaks, self-confidence, self-esteem, etc.

This is not the place to come looking for drug alternatives or treatment for drug addiction.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2015, 02:07 AM
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Posts: 410
i hear you, man. i've been using phenibut daily for years and it actually assists me in what i do. i sometimes think about coming off, and it does get expensive, but i just don't want to. i'm pretty sure my 'socialism' would diminish greatly without it, as i have pretty bad social anxiety.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2015, 02:43 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 396
In the same boat I just started managing a gym and kratom allows me to be happy, friendly and sociable. If I'm not taking it I just don't wanna talk to anyone I feel I'm a better person on it I know that just sounds like an addict talking but when your naturally a quite person and find a way to be a really talkative and outgoing it's hard to pass up


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  #7 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-2015, 02:52 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 172
12 step fellowship can help you! But it won't work unless your willing to take guidance .
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old 10-14-2015, 03:10 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 98
If you want to get clean, the answers are not outside you (like more supps to take or whatever). It all lies within. Go to an AA or NA meeting. You can make it without any of this shit, there are good people who can help you get there. I've been clean over 6 years. It's not easy at first, and not always easy in general, but it is entirely worth it. You are worth it!
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 10-15-2015, 07:54 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1
As the saying goes, "If there was a cure for addiction, I'll take 2."
Innate in addiction is a loss of control and resulting negative consequences. Substituting one substance for another is simply that. You seem to be operating from a state of contemplation which is marked by ambivalence - you recognize a problem but not sure you want to change the behavior. Although it has not impact work (subjectively), the question you should be asking yourself is what needs to happen before you are willing to change your behavior.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2015, 01:59 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 462
dear all,

i dont know if any of you will read this or care but i would just like to say thank you to all for your support and real words. i guess i knew something was wrong but wouldnt admit it. needless to say i got help and have been feeling better every day. I'm feeling emotions that i havent felt in a long time before, a kind of "ok let's do this shit" feeling when i start my day. whilst before i didnt feel anything i just got up, and did my stuff without any real pep or zing to it. i had ideas and goals in my mind but just didnt act on them. whilst now im actively pursuing things more.
Logically my stress levels and anxiety have risen, but i've found them quite manageable right now and they actually make me more productive. Facing problems head on you might say..
It's crazy how denial sets in fast when drinking and using benzo's daily.

I can't wait to hit the weights again properly and build my dream physique and not wash it away with booze!!!
But first to recover from my shoulder injury...
2016 i hope this will be my year. Just gotta rough it out !!!

all the best to you friends.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2015, 03:25 AM
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Registered Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 184
NA was the way for me. After year of shooting dope, substituting, rationalizing, and every thing else. I even joined the army to get away from drugs, but it's like my disease went into remission. I drank like a fish, but not many drugs. When I got out after 6 years I went crazy with shit. Then I thought getting married and having a family would solve my problem. Boy was I wrong. Now I was destroying 3 lives. After I had exhausted all my options and excuses to use I found NA. It was the best thing I ever could have done for myself and life is better than I ever thought. I just didn't know I could live life and have fun without drugs. Shit I had been using for 20 years plus and I'm only 34. My point is if I can do it anyone can. Search for local NA meetings in your area and please do not give up 5 minutes before the Miricale happeneds because it will. God bless you brother

Last edited by Nbencze; 12-14-2015 at 03:27 AM.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2015, 03:29 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by g0ttequila View Post
dear all,

i dont know if any of you will read this or care but i would just like to say thank you to all for your support and real words. i guess i knew something was wrong but wouldnt admit it. needless to say i got help and have been feeling better every day. I'm feeling emotions that i havent felt in a long time before, a kind of "ok let's do this shit" feeling when i start my day. whilst before i didnt feel anything i just got up, and did my stuff without any real pep or zing to it. i had ideas and goals in my mind but just didnt act on them. whilst now im actively pursuing things more.
Logically my stress levels and anxiety have risen, but i've found them quite manageable right now and they actually make me more productive. Facing problems head on you might say..
It's crazy how denial sets in fast when drinking and using benzo's daily.

I can't wait to hit the weights again properly and build my dream physique and not wash it away with booze!!!
But first to recover from my shoulder injury...
2016 i hope this will be my year. Just gotta rough it out !!!

all the best to you friends.
Good thing about getting clean you get your feelings back.
Bad thing about getting clean you get your feelings back.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2015, 03:31 AM
g0ttequila's Avatar
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 462
Substance dependency...

Exactly!! No more suppressing. At least now I'm not longer lying to myself....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2015, 04:27 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Gliese 581
Posts: 848
Start working a program. Do NA or AA and get a sponsor its will change your life brother
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2015, 04:35 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 43
Im taking suboxone right now cause of all the opiates I was on.. It's helped with withdrawals, plan to be off the subs by next week


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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 06-16-2017, 09:41 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1
First of all, stop one at a time.

I would get off the kratom first. You should be able to stop it cold turkey without issues. Ive taken that without withdrawal.

Phenibut will need tapering over a month. Do exercise, drink camomile tea and MEDITATE. Stick to a good sleep schedule, and don't give into bad thoughts when they arise.

Ive had a 8 month phenibut physical dependance at 10-15gr per day. I stopped cold turkey and withdrawal lasted around a week. It sucked but I made it. However, tapering will minimize discomfort.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2017, 01:56 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 157
I was on Opiate's for 20 year's. Ended up snorting 12-15 30 mgs a day. Ended up in the Mental Health Ward at the Veterans Hospital by choice. After 2 1/2 week's of withdrawal. Cold turkey. I had to suffer. I wanted to feel the pain so I would remember it! No Suboxone. Trust me. I remember the withdrawal well. I was excepted into the DOM for 4 week's. I'm clean and never looking back. You have to change people places and things. Stay Active. And you can do it. It's like working out. If it was easy. Everyone would be doing it.

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Old 07-17-2017, 01:58 PM
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Posts: 157
I do take Natroxen for backup. If I did take an opiate I would get sick as a Dog!! I'm Polish but not stupid😁 Semper Fidelis

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Old 07-17-2017, 01:59 PM
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Posts: 157
I feel Alive again!

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Old 07-18-2017, 12:30 AM
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Location: East Coast
Posts: 955
I though I needed chemicals to function for years. 7 years ago I blew up my life with drugs and lost everything I had spent 25 years working for.. Been sober now almost 7 years and I've come to realize I dont need those chemicals to function.

I needed to learn how to live life on lifes terms and stop fighting everything and everyone around me.

Get off the shit, stop lying to yourself, stop rationalizing. Or you will eventually pay the consequences.
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