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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2018, 02:09 PM
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Relationship struggles

To much to type I'll keep it short. Been with my girl for 4 years 10 year age gap I'm 31 she 41 with 3 kids I have no kids. The last year my girl friend has lost all interest and affection in sex. We will still have sex but it isn't the same and we fight a lot now because our ruined sex life.

I still love my girl and am trying to make things better its on her how to fix this sex problem she just not interested anymore and she use to be a horny nympho before. I'm willing to do anything to get things back on track therapy Dr's whatever it is but she hasn't even taking it serious or put any energy into the problem by seeking help so I'm like wtf. I ask her why shs hasn't reached out for help she tells me she to busy. I am not getting anywhere right now and its frustrating the shit out of me. I know my girl still loves me but its hard to take her serious when this has been going on for almost a year now and still nothing on her end.

What do I do now. Just wait it out.? I can't force her to seek help I would think she would make this a priority at least top 5.



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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2018, 02:14 PM
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Sounds like itís over man. Sorry to hear.
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Old 06-29-2018, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hugostiglitz87 View Post
To much to type I'll keep it short. Been with my girl for 4 years 10 year age gap I'm 31 she 41 with 3 kids I have no kids. The last year my girl friend has lost all interest and affection in sex. We will still have sex but it isn't the same and we fight a lot now because our ruined sex life.

I still love my girl and am trying to make things better its on her how to fix this sex problem she just not interested anymore and she use to be a horny nympho before. I'm willing to do anything to get things back on track therapy Dr's whatever it is but she hasn't even taking it serious or put any energy into the problem by seeking help so I'm like wtf. I ask her why shs hasn't reached out for help she tells me she to busy. I am not getting anywhere right now and its frustrating the shit out of me. I know my girl still loves me but its hard to take her serious when this has been going on for almost a year now and still nothing on her end.


What do I do now. Just wait it out.? I can't force her to seek help I would think she would make this a priority at least top 5.



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a ton of guys run into this very problem after theyve been married for a while



but she's only your girlfriend, so you still have power in the relationship, and you do not have to accept her complacency and lack of appreciation and respect for you.



tell her that you do not feel loved and appreciated..


and while you love her dearly, you have needs that must be met.


if she does not meet these needs, you will be forced (literally for the sake of your sanity) to fulfill these needs by other means... meaning with other women.
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Old 06-29-2018, 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted by little slice View Post
a ton of guys run into this very problem after theyve been married for a while



but she's only your girlfriend, so you still have power in the relationship, and you do not have to accept her complacency and lack of appreciation and respect for you.



tell her that you do not feel loved and appreciated..


and while you love her dearly, you have needs that must be met.


if she does not meet these needs, you will be forced (literally for the sake of your sanity) to fulfill these needs by other means... meaning with other women.
I express this to her at least every other week. And she is just at a loss for words. And tells me that she doesnt know whats wrong but still doesnt seek help. Well im over here doing everything i can to make it better going to threapy has helped alot but still only goes so far. My girlfriend needs to seek help and try and fix issue then we can throw in the white flag. I love my girl alot and all I want is for her to be happy she amazing person and i love her depply but my sanity is being tested every week and its hard. I am progressing in life and i want her to be here at my side with that progression cause she helped alot in my progression as a man in life everything. She litterally made me give a fuck again.

Last edited by hugostiglitz87; 06-29-2018 at 02:25 PM.
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Old 06-29-2018, 02:26 PM
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words arent working... time for action
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Old 06-29-2018, 02:29 PM
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Originally Posted by little slice View Post
words arent working... time for action

I express myself pretty good. But dude everytime i tell her how i feel she agree's with me and then doesnt really follow up with anything useful or she will go quiet lol.

I have to becareful cause anything i say or do can really fuck things up its walking egg shells right now.
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Old 06-29-2018, 02:34 PM
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Originally Posted by hugostiglitz87 View Post
I express myself pretty good. But dude everytime i tell her how i feel she agree's with me and then doesnt really follow up with anything useful or she will go quiet lol.

I have to becareful cause anything i say or do can really fuck things up its walking egg shells right now.



she's gotten comfy and complacent in your relationship.. she doesn't think you will leave her.

she doesn't appreciate you sufficiently... that's literally what her inaction means



you are not the one who should be walking on eggshells


let's be real..she's a 41 year old with 3 kids... she should be appreciating the fuck out of you.
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Old 06-29-2018, 02:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by little slice View Post
she's gotten comfy and complacent in your relationship.. she doesn't think you will leave her.

she doesn't appreciate you sufficiently... that's literally what her inaction means



you are not the one who should be walking on eggshells


let's be real..she's a 41 year old with 3 kids... she should be appreciating the fuck out of you.

You always make sense man. And I appreciate it. LOL if i ever break up with her i am gonna need your help lol to get over it.
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Old 06-29-2018, 02:54 PM
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anytime brobro
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Old 06-29-2018, 03:09 PM
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The exciting newness of things wears off after a few years. Then you are left with the reality. If there is not enough in all the other areas to keep it together then it may not be worth while. If yo think wild kinky sex lasts forever it rarely does.it is hard to keep setting that bar that high. Most have to be happy with comfort, caring good sex a partner you can rely on. And wait a few more years till she hits menopause then the sex may be even less.
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Old 06-29-2018, 03:17 PM
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Originally Posted by buck View Post
The exciting newness of things wears off after a few years. Then you are left with the reality. If there is not enough in all the other areas to keep it together then it may not be worth while. If yo think wild kinky sex lasts forever it rarely does.it is hard to keep setting that bar that high. Most have to be happy with comfort, caring good sex a partner you can rely on. And wait a few more years till she hits menopause then the sex may be even less.
Very True. Im only 31
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Old 06-29-2018, 03:35 PM
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Leave asap. You'll look back in 6 months or a year and regret it if you don't. Plus, all it's going to take is the attention from some other young girl, your age or younger, with no kids and no responsibilities to get you to leave, or at least cheat once, then you'll be planning your exit.

Guaranteed.
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Old 06-29-2018, 04:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buck View Post
The exciting newness of things wears off after a few years. Then you are left with the reality. If there is not enough in all the other areas to keep it together then it may not be worth while. If yo think wild kinky sex lasts forever it rarely does.it is hard to keep setting that bar that high. Most have to be happy with comfort, caring good sex a partner you can rely on. And wait a few more years till she hits menopause then the sex may be even less.
She may have menopause already. To the OP-do you think she has another (side)?The father of the kids coming back into the picture ? Hope you find a solution to your problem.
Take care.
MS
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Old 06-29-2018, 05:25 PM
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no sexy for A YEAR .Sorry to hear that
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Old 06-29-2018, 11:22 PM
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Originally Posted by MAD_SCIENTIST View Post
She may have menopause already. To the OP-do you think she has another (side)?The father of the kids coming back into the picture ? Hope you find a solution to your problem.
Take care.
MS
No I don't think she has another side I use to think that but she is so busy i don't think she has time for that. Could be menopause not sure.

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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 06-29-2018, 11:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hugostiglitz87 View Post
To much to type I'll keep it short. Been with my girl for 4 years 10 year age gap I'm 31 she 41 with 3 kids I have no kids. The last year my girl friend has lost all interest and affection in sex. We will still have sex but it isn't the same and we fight a lot now because our ruined sex life.

I still love my girl and am trying to make things better its on her how to fix this sex problem she just not interested anymore and she use to be a horny nympho before. I'm willing to do anything to get things back on track therapy Dr's whatever it is but she hasn't even taking it serious or put any energy into the problem by seeking help so I'm like wtf. I ask her why shs hasn't reached out for help she tells me she to busy. I am not getting anywhere right now and its frustrating the shit out of me. I know my girl still loves me but its hard to take her serious when this has been going on for almost a year now and still nothing on her end.

What do I do now. Just wait it out.? I can't force her to seek help I would think she would make this a priority at least top 5.



Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk
I hate to say it like this, and I really hope it works out for you; but itís probably definitely her age lol..

And what Lil Slice has already established of course...

But to keep my response short, I donít think it ever works with the man being younger... Think about it; sheíll be going through menopause soon while you havenít even reached 40 yet... Which they say is a mans prime!

Go get a hot 27 year old bro... lol
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Old 06-30-2018, 12:05 AM
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I've never seen this kind of situation get better. If the sex is gone after all this time, it's not coming back. The only options a man has is to leave, cheat, or give up on sex and happiness in life.

She would probably make an effort to keep you satisfied if you actually leave her. It would only be temporary, then you'd be back in the same situation with more resentment on both sides. I'd recommend planning an exit strategy and actually going through with it. You're too young to give up on sex for the rest of your life.
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Old 06-30-2018, 12:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hugostiglitz87 View Post
I express this to her at least every other week. And she is just at a loss for words. And tells me that she doesnt know whats wrong but still doesnt seek help. Well im over here doing everything i can to make it better going to threapy has helped alot but still only goes so far. My girlfriend needs to seek help and try and fix issue then we can throw in the white flag. I love my girl alot and all I want is for her to be happy she amazing person and i love her depply but my sanity is being tested every week and its hard. I am progressing in life and i want her to be here at my side with that progression cause she helped alot in my progression as a man in life everything. She litterally made me give a fuck again.
I've been your girlfriend in this equation. What was going through my head was that I didn't enjoy being around the person anymore because the relationship was built strictly on physicality and was not started through friendship. Symptoms = withdrawn from conversation, no emotion when approached by her about our relationship, sex dropped off.

I hate to say it, but unless she is your best friend, and you hers, she seems to be disinterested in you as an ongoing companion and is likely just telling herself she couldn't live without you for one reason or another (she's comfortable).

Ask yourself, can you guys talk for hours? Does she enjoy talking on the telephone with you during the day or does it seem like you're bothering her when you call? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you the first person she wants to hangout with? Does she give you a blank stare when you ask her if she's in love with you (not just love you).

If the answer is no, she's disengaged and desensitized to the relationship and it's likely time for you to separate for a while and see how it goes.
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Old 06-30-2018, 12:19 AM
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Originally Posted by hugostiglitz87 View Post
No I don't think she has another side I use to think that but she is so busy i don't think she has time for that. Could be menopause not sure.

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Menpause, LOL, at 41, this women is at her prime. From the age of 30-40, women are at peak of their sexuality. Trust me I have a 35 year old and have a hard time keeping up so to speak. Nah, it sounds like she has lost interest in you and more then likely seeing someone else and having sex. I divorce my ex wife when she was 42 sleeping on the couch and doing the exact same thing. She had someone too on the side. The only reason she was around was for kids and she had a comfortable living arrangement.

Be happy she is just a GF and not a wife. Time to move on. It is very obvious she has lost interest in you.
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Old 06-30-2018, 12:25 AM
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Originally Posted by hugostiglitz87 View Post
To much to type I'll keep it short. Been with my girl for 4 years 10 year age gap I'm 31 she 41 with 3 kids I have no kids. The last year my girl friend has lost all interest and affection in sex. We will still have sex but it isn't the same and we fight a lot now because our ruined sex life.

I still love my girl and am trying to make things better its on her how to fix this sex problem she just not interested anymore and she use to be a horny nympho before. I'm willing to do anything to get things back on track therapy Dr's whatever it is but she hasn't even taking it serious or put any energy into the problem by seeking help so I'm like wtf. I ask her why shs hasn't reached out for help she tells me she to busy. I am not getting anywhere right now and its frustrating the shit out of me. I know my girl still loves me but its hard to take her serious when this has been going on for almost a year now and still nothing on her end.

What do I do now. Just wait it out.? I can't force her to seek help I would think she would make this a priority at least top 5.



Sent from my LG-H872 using Tapatalk
Time to move on. If this isnít a priority to her then she doesnít care about your happiness obviously. Youíll be 100 times happier when you find a woman who puts your needs up top because she values your happiness. That is what love is, valuing the other personís needs as a priority. Your current girl is selfish, self centered, typical of many women in this era of me, me, me. She should be doing everything she can to make you happy considering she has 3 kids which is pretty undesirable for most all men when you have none of your own. Selfish, selfish woman!!!
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