.gif "IP Gear")
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2007
- Messages
- 3,974
So yesterday i said screw it, im going to eat whatever the hell i want all day. and i did.
had a couple of these microwaveable asian noodle bowls my GF keeps around the house, a pizza, a couple of cheese burgers, Mac and cheese, a bowl of cereal, and some chocolate ice cream with Choc LBA on top.
So as some of you may know im kind of a nerd. Remember that because its pertanent information for later. My girlfriend loves to hang out in bed when theres nothign to do, watching TV, going online, reading etc. When the weather is crappy and i have notheing to do i play world of warcraft. Yes i just admitted that, and it really sucks you in for hours at a time.
Well I always play on the computer in the living room, without going further into it you need a mouse to play. That crappy one on a lap top just doesnt cut it. Anywho, she got a wireless mouse for the laptop so id spend more time hanging out with her. She is always complaining that she wants me to hang out in the room with her. And no before you get started she isnt thinking sex, ok well sometimes she is, but thats usually my idea. so there we were in the bedroom all day, she's watching whatever it is she watches on TV, and im sitting next to her playing my game, and eating like shit.
So 11pm rolls around and she rolls over to fall asleep. Well about an hour later MY decision to eat horribly comes back at me. I feel the low belly rumble that can only be leading to one of those really hot farts. i look over, nudge her alittle bit, and get no reaction. I am officially safe to let it fly. I do. And dear jesus in heaven the smell. Like sulphur, rotten eggs and crap.
Naturally i start to laugh alittle and how horrible this was, and how she wouldnt be able to partake. well i was wrong. This smell, literally woke her out of a deep sleep. How do i know? well im glad you asked.
These words come out of her mouth. "aww, damnit babe, your ass is so gross. whats wrong with you?"
That obviously makes me laugh even more. I was proud of the manly potency of my bad dieting decision.
I felt better, thinking i got the big one out, im all done. Did i mention the cereal was fiber one? It was. I get the next wave a few min later, and seeing as how i dont want a stomach ache im not going to hold it in. so i let that one fly too. Oh my god it was worse than the first one.
This continues all night, even in my sleep. around 3 AM i guess she had enough. She rolls me out of bed. Yup just rolls me out, onto the floor, with a thud. " go sleep on the couch you smelly bastard!" she says. I justwant to get some sleep so i olbige.
She comes into the living room sometime around 6 am to get ready for work and im on the couch. Thats when i hear " Goddamnit babe! the whole room stinks. go back to bed so i can get ready for work. Damnit, im probably going to smell like your ass all day."
So next time you decide to have a cheat day, keep in mind that you may be hurting the ones you love the most with it.
had a couple of these microwaveable asian noodle bowls my GF keeps around the house, a pizza, a couple of cheese burgers, Mac and cheese, a bowl of cereal, and some chocolate ice cream with Choc LBA on top.
So as some of you may know im kind of a nerd. Remember that because its pertanent information for later. My girlfriend loves to hang out in bed when theres nothign to do, watching TV, going online, reading etc. When the weather is crappy and i have notheing to do i play world of warcraft. Yes i just admitted that, and it really sucks you in for hours at a time.
Well I always play on the computer in the living room, without going further into it you need a mouse to play. That crappy one on a lap top just doesnt cut it. Anywho, she got a wireless mouse for the laptop so id spend more time hanging out with her. She is always complaining that she wants me to hang out in the room with her. And no before you get started she isnt thinking sex, ok well sometimes she is, but thats usually my idea. so there we were in the bedroom all day, she's watching whatever it is she watches on TV, and im sitting next to her playing my game, and eating like shit.
So 11pm rolls around and she rolls over to fall asleep. Well about an hour later MY decision to eat horribly comes back at me. I feel the low belly rumble that can only be leading to one of those really hot farts. i look over, nudge her alittle bit, and get no reaction. I am officially safe to let it fly. I do. And dear jesus in heaven the smell. Like sulphur, rotten eggs and crap.
Naturally i start to laugh alittle and how horrible this was, and how she wouldnt be able to partake. well i was wrong. This smell, literally woke her out of a deep sleep. How do i know? well im glad you asked.
These words come out of her mouth. "aww, damnit babe, your ass is so gross. whats wrong with you?"
That obviously makes me laugh even more. I was proud of the manly potency of my bad dieting decision.
I felt better, thinking i got the big one out, im all done. Did i mention the cereal was fiber one? It was. I get the next wave a few min later, and seeing as how i dont want a stomach ache im not going to hold it in. so i let that one fly too. Oh my god it was worse than the first one.
This continues all night, even in my sleep. around 3 AM i guess she had enough. She rolls me out of bed. Yup just rolls me out, onto the floor, with a thud. " go sleep on the couch you smelly bastard!" she says. I justwant to get some sleep so i olbige.
She comes into the living room sometime around 6 am to get ready for work and im on the couch. Thats when i hear " Goddamnit babe! the whole room stinks. go back to bed so i can get ready for work. Damnit, im probably going to smell like your ass all day."
So next time you decide to have a cheat day, keep in mind that you may be hurting the ones you love the most with it.
