hey guys,
Real quick since I am still behind on emails. I made a huge post on my faceBook page around 8 weeks or more ago about intricate details about what had transpired.
My Father did pass from Prostate cancer. It was under control supposedly until I got an alarming call from my Mother around Olympia time. I immediately packed my bags and headed up to Oregon for what I thought 5 days....
Needless to say -- I called the Doctor personally and had him shoot m straight (not sugar coat my Mother) --- He said your dead has maybe at most a few months.
I cancelled my plane ticket back -- and just stayed indefinitely helping my mom care for my Father who (bless his heart) was in agonizing pain ( every hour spasms in his rectum and bladder) ....it was the hardest time of my life for sure, and after he passed away.....
I knew with my addictive personality, my genetics regarding cancer, my genetics regarding heart issues,,, I just have to halt all of my dreams of maybe one day getting that little piece of paper. I just stopped.... I didn't bring any juice with me to Oregon,,, then just remained off --- No pct, no clomid, no hCG,,, nada.
My mother and moms side of the family has drug and alcohol addiction. I also wanted to prove to myself that I don't need these drugs,,, I am not addicted, I don't need "TRT" I don't need something else to ween or bridge off...
I have been off now for 4 months -- dropped 30 lbs, and have been basically fasting for 18-20 hours getting stuff accomplished, not fretting over the every 3 hour meal, not worrying about catabolism , etc... just running errands with no stress of food availability, writing content for new products I am releasing and feeding at night post training with my Wife not worrying about protein.
I will eventually resume eating like a Bodybuilder around 5 meals a day and more protein,.,, and who knows,, maybe do YouTube series of me attempting to get int contest shape on nothing -- No HRT, no peptides,,, not even caffeine since my BP is high.
Ill try to pop in more guys -- feel free to ask any questions
-Matt