Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
M4B Store Banner
intex
Riptropin Store banner
Generation X Bodybuilding Forum
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
Mysupps Store Banner
IP Gear Store Banner
PM-Ace-Labs
Ganabol Store Banner
Spend $100 and get bonus needles free at sterile syringes
Professional Muscle Store open now
sunrise2
PHARMAHGH1
kinglab
ganabol2
Professional Muscle Store open now
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
azteca
granabolic1
napsgear-210x65
esquel
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
ashp210
UGFREAK-banner-PM
1-SWEDISH-PEPTIDE-CO
YMSApril21065
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
advertise1
tjk
advertise1
advertise1
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store

diary of a madman

ste_yogibear

New member
Newbies
Joined
Nov 15, 2013
Messages
38
a little introduction from me. age 40 been training since i was 22 to recover from a very nasty bike crash were i was lucky to only sustain a broken knee cap. i walked into a spit and sawdust gym 5ft8 and 10st (140lb) with long hair. i knew nothing about training or diet we didnt have the internet and the only was to learn new stuff was magazines like flex and musclemag. i made all the usual mistakes of over training under eating etc but slowly built up to around 14st naturally.
i continued with weights for about 8 years whilst also undergoing several knee surgeries till i started to play rugby league at the age of 30. now considering id never bothered with cardio for at least 7 years and only started walking pre breakfast and post workout a year before i wasnt very fit. 8 years of rugby brought my knee surgerys up to 5 on right knee one on left. i had also suffered a series of brain seizures aged 30 and depression since i was 27. but of a wreck really.
at the age of 38 i decided to retire from rugby due to injury but wanted to give it one last go, go out on my own terms not through injury, this is when i discovered mma. im very glad i did as training kept my depression at bay and i had brushed with being suicidal a year before. though the depression and my links with rugby brought me into contact with a mental health charity called stateofmind. they helped me and i inturn help them.
i started training in thai boxing and submission wrestling despite having a petty broken body. but this only drove me on rather than hold me back. i learnt to train with brains not ego. do what i can do not what i wanted to. though one of the side effects of the seizures has been the lack of ability to remember things, bit of a draw back when learning subs!!
in my past i have flirted with steroid use as well as other perfomance enhancing drugs though i have been off for a number of years now.
i had my 7th knee op in may of this year 2 days after my 40th birthday then 2 days later had my 2nd set of brain seizures which nearly killed me, bit of a downer really. but life fortunatly goes one.
so this brings me to now, im 40 mentally and physically broken down but train in a sport that im 20 years to old to do. my training normally consists of mma training 4 mornings a week with a friend who is now doing his first few thai fights. i try to do a walk first thing before breakfast to kick my day into drive. i train in thai 4 nights a week and submission wrestling 2/3. my morning workouts also include a fitness aspect as this sport is tough.
so as i sit today im 5ft 8 weigh 199lb at a body fat of 25% my aim is to get my bodyfat down to 20% and go from there. i will try to keep this log upto date on my journey.
my diet is very hit and miss really, depends on my mental state. when im depressed i binge eat. but i dont drink or smoke so that saves me a little. in my time ive suffered 7 knee ops 2 sets of seizures serious depression bruised liver torn pec hamstring and bicep atheritis in a few joints bruised foot and a few others. so heres to a fun trip where ever it goes.
 
morning cardio completed 2 mile walk done in 30 mins, bit wet out there but you just have to get it done. trying to make an effort to drink more water now as its something ive lacked. hit the gym at 11 for some thai based fitness, should be fun honest!!
will do some before pics this weekend as my delivery of Synthelamin and Synthetine should arrive by friday.
 
first workout done. warm up followed by treadmill sprints, 30 seconds on 30 seconds off for as long as i could. managed 14 mins. next was a strength workout kettlebell wide stance dead lifts 5 reps heavy kettlebell swings 10 reps followed by leg kicks 10 kicks each legs. strength followed by plyometrics followed by practical application. 5 sets of each. next up was 10 rounds 2 mins pad workout high intensity. pnf stretching ended the workout nicely. 20 grams whey and glucose as post workout
 
helped teach kids thai tonight and avoided getting kicked in the plums or kneed in the face which was good. followed by an hour thai tech and wrestling tech. got to say im pretty tired now and really dont fancy cooking anything as its late and i seem to have spent half the day either eating going the loo or in the gym.
 
fasting cardio done but legs felt veryheavy so posted a slower time and pace than normal. back on the green smoothies for breakfast, kale spinach broccoli oats and blueberries blended with protein powder and water. always makes me want to vomit before i finish the bottle but its the only way i can get veg down me.
training today will be a light one and only about an hour as my training partner is busy this morning and i have a game of squash later, useless at the game but its fun.
hoping my delivery will be here before the weekend as its been dispatched already, thanks guys. just need to stock up on pins
 
i hate wedesdays, i dont train in the mornings as my mate is in uni so i struggle to get motivated to even get out of bed. mental health issues are mo laughing matter. i know i should do things but i lack the inner strength to do anything. its not fun. i need to go do my cardio, book a gp appointment as ive not heard from nurology in the 6 months since my seizures, they said 4!! i could of died again haha plus i struggle to keep my diet on track or even drink enough water. hate myself somedays
 
start my stack tomorrow hoping it will help get my ass training and dieting properly. not had the best day mentally but been reading on here about 5htp and how it has helped others with depression, sleep etc. may have to take a look at it myself.
having depression is a very horrible illness that can keep you from doing what you need to do day to day. when it hits me all i want to do is stay in bed and comfort eat. hardly a bonus when your training to get fit and improve your body.
 
woke up this morning very hungry. early signs of b12 use me thinks. did shot of synthetine 5g glutamine then fasting cardio, 2 mile walk. got home took a t5 and left it half an hour before i had some lucozade with creatine in then a green smoothie, broccoli oats kale spinach protein powder blended in water. not as bad as it sounds. stomachs growling already.
heading the gym for 11 for another flogging on the fitness front. incline sprints followed by power workout then 10 rounds on the pads.
 
tough workout today, vo2 incline hill sprints, stick treadmill on incline 5 start at speed 8 and increase by 1 every minute and see how long you can go. got to 12. next up combined training for chest, bench press 5 reps (strength) 10 clap press ups (plyometrics) 20 straight punches practical application.
next up 10 rounds on pads 2 min round 30 second rest. included in the 2 mins were either sprints push ups squats leg raises multiple kicks or punches. was toast at the end. and very hungry!!
300 ml lucozade 25g whey for PW
 
finally stopped being hungry after eating 4 times in 5 hours. but for the first time in a week or so my knees are both in pain, not been taking fish oils for a few days and i think thats why
 
been a bit quiet last few days, friday i was helping 2 mates cut weight then saturday i was cornering them for my first time as a cut man. my services werent needed, fortunately. still kept up my morning cardio though.
back to normal today, am cardio then a brutal fitness sesh of 2 hours which left me on the floor at the end of the tenth round of pads. tonight im helping teach the kids thai class followed by taking part in adult thai then mma.
 
struggled tonight with the cold and basically being tired from this mornings workout. didnt do mma as my left knee was feeling a bit dodgy as it has all day. the colds been playing havoc with my bad joints. had skins on all day and its not made any difference. its no fun getting old and having bad joints
 
quite few days on the training front but back on it tomorrow. A.M. cardio followed by a fitness workout in the morning which includes the vo2 max treadmill test. squash in the afternoon. been on a virtually all liquid low carb diet today. been very hungry.
also finished loading up on b12 now onto an every 4 day cylce
 
tough fitness workout this morning but did struggle with the treadmill as my knee wanted to give on me.
weight today is 91.7kg down from 93kg on monday so things are good
upped my carbs today as ive been tired all day.
 
been a bit quiet last few days, sorry. heads been in a dark place again. the curse of depression i guess. some days you just cant seem to function properly never mind eat clean and train.
when you look yourself in the mirror and you see a 40 year old man living with his folks no job broken mind broken body no money and just before christmas its not fun. mental illness is very strange, you cant see it feel it touch it but its there. its there 24 hours a day everyday. no one else understands your pain, your issues, they can only pretend. some dont even do that. get over it, man up, what have you got to be depressed about, heard them all. theres always someone worse off than you haha yea love that one. you wouldnt say that to someone with a broken leg so dont say it to someone with a broken mind. i wish i could be better, be normal but im not. im broken and fragile. not an easy statement to say when you weigh nearly 200lb at 5ft8 an ex rugby player and train in mixed martial arts. why am i writing this? i dont know really dont. something i wrote a while ago

there are no happy endings

no fairly tale castles in the sky

all we got is love and life

going to live it until the day that i die

theres no white knights to the rescue

no tarzan swinging through the trees

all i got is what i am

and who im going to be

now i may not have much money

never going to drive no fancy car

never going to be a rocket scientist

no silver screen movie star

with me what you see is what you get

if you can be bothered to look inside

i cant promise you a smooth trip

more like a very bumpy ride

i know im far from perfect

some say im damaged goods

my bodywork may be battered

but the engine still beats under the hood

so you judge me before you know me

that could be a very silly mistake

as beneath this hard exterior

is a heart you could easily break

so come take a lookinto my life

see the pain i carry inside

then take a look into my eyes

see the love the fear the pride

so if you really know me

spend some time in my company

maybe you can see past who you think i am

and see through to the real me
 
Congrats and hang in there.
Perhaps you should consider ECT treatment, it will help with the depression.
 
Copy and pasted from websites;

Definition
By Mayo Clinic staff

Managing Depression

Subscribe to our Managing Depression e-newsletter to stay up to date on depression topics.
Sign up now
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is a procedure in which electric currents are passed through the brain, intentionally triggering a brief seizure. ECT seems to cause changes in brain chemistry that can quickly reverse symptoms of certain mental illnesses. It often works when other treatments are unsuccessful.

Much of the stigma attached to ECT is based on early treatments in which high doses of electricity were administered without anesthesia, leading to memory loss, fractured bones and other serious side effects.

ECT is much safer today and is given to people while they're under general anesthesia. Although ECT still causes some side effects, it now uses electrical currents given in a controlled setting to achieve the most benefit with the fewest possible risks.



Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) Benefits & Side Effects

It works for most people.
 
fook me!!! ive had brain sezures so i dont know if thats a good idea, or even availible in the UK. will look into it though thanks for the info
 

Staff online

  • LATS
    Moderator / FOUNDING Member / NPC Judge
  • Big A
    IFBB PRO/NPC JUDGE/Administrator

Forum statistics

Total page views
559,261,276
Threads
136,054
Messages
2,777,377
Members
160,429
Latest member
Itisisaysme510
NapsGear
HGH Power Store email banner
your-raws
Prowrist straps store banner
infinity
FLASHING-BOTTOM-BANNER-210x131
raws
Savage Labs Store email
Syntherol Site Enhancing Oil Synthol
aqpharma
YMSApril210131
hulabs
ezgif-com-resize-2-1
MA Research Chem store banner
MA Supps Store Banner
volartek
Keytech banner
musclechem
Godbullraw-bottom-banner
Injection Instructions for beginners
Knight Labs store email banner
3
ashp131
YMS-210x131-V02
Back
Top