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Need some advice. I can't get over my wife's sexual past.

aminoman74

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Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
1,002
Me and my wife has been together for a year and we have been married for 2 months. Ever since we have been together is been in my head about she had a past and I always think of the worst as I would ask about her past and i used to picture how she did it and what she did but i stopped thinking like that but now i still ask about it. I stopped fora little bit but now think about it again more. How did you stop thinking about your lovers past? I try to tell myself is her past as she tells me i need to think about our future as the past is the past as i agree. Why would i think like? Is it because I'm in love with her and as i told her i don't like knowing other men have had her as im the only one that wants to know how she is. Or am I insecure? All I want to do is forget it and move on with our marriage. When I don't think about it i feel so close to her and feel the love but when I think about it all I do is feel upset about it.

I need help on this as if I think about it to much it might hurt our marriage.
 
You are very very insecure and that fact will be the end of your marriage.
 
That's why i want to figure out how to end it so i can fix this problem so it doesn't end it.
 
Seriously...if you wanna move past it you're gonna need to get professional help.
Find a counselor your wife and yourself can go work through this issues
 
Anyone know why usually this happens to people? What's in there past that makes this happen? Any thoughts
 
Your being insecure.

She has been with other people so have you.

Get over it, it will ruin your marriage.

Dick is dick pussy is pussy. Get over it.
 
Bro... Just forget about it... All our girls friends have been in past relationship, had one night stands, and did stuff you defiantly don't want to know about. If she was to tell you about her past it would probably make it even worse. I couldn't imagine sitting there listing to thing my girl did with other guys....You just need to move on bro.. Im sure you been with other girls before this one. All that matters now is that she is with you and loves you... Get out of the past or she will be part of your past next....
 
Me and my wife has been together for a year and we have been married for 2 months. Ever since we have been together is been in my head about she had a past and I always think of the worst as I would ask about her past and i used to picture how she did it and what she did but i stopped thinking like that but now i still ask about it. I stopped fora little bit but now think about it again more. How did you stop thinking about your lovers past? I try to tell myself is her past as she tells me i need to think about our future as the past is the past as i agree. Why would i think like? Is it because I'm in love with her and as i told her i don't like knowing other men have had her as im the only one that wants to know how she is. Or am I insecure? All I want to do is forget it and move on with our marriage. When I don't think about it i feel so close to her and feel the love but when I think about it all I do is feel upset about it.

I need help on this as if I think about it to much it might hurt our marriage.

Bro as long as you guys are both healthy ie no STD's does it matter? If she's not a cheater and you guys are both clean I don't see the issue. If you can't get over it this will prob make you miserable + alone. Bro pop a Cialis every now and again n fuck her for two days. So she walks around like dam my man is a man and a half.
 
Thanks all we do have a great marriage. IV never felt so comfy with someone like her. She tells me how amazing I am. I'm really calm and soft spoken with her. I do what ever i can for her. She tells me we are soul mates and i think we are to. She is always on my mind in a good way if I'm not thinking about this issue. When she is around I feel this feeling in my chest and always tell her how beautiful she is and we are the type that are always touching each other and tell each other how much we love each other. I'm always looking at our pictures and think how God looking she is. She said I'm the best thing that happened to her. She was divorced for 7 years didn't find anyone special till she met me and she wanted to get to know me and really liked me. We have allot in common and she had what i wanted in a women. I want like this with my ex wife just now. My ex didn't have the things that my wife had now. We hit it off good when we meet like we knew each other. I'm always telling her how much i love her and I'm emotional around her as if we argue it bothers me and will tear up some. If I look at our pictures I'll start to tear up sometimes and when she leaves we get a Little sad since we won't see each other for the day. Wouldn't it some what be love if it bothers me about her past ?
 
OP, what you're feeling is completely normal, though quite hypocritical assuming you weren't a virgin when you married her..

i see these types of discussions all the time.. there are two sides to this..


the first side, the beta cuckold faggots, will tell you that you're being insecure, not a "real man", and likely only stressed about this because you have a small penis.

These people try to convince themselves (and others) that they would prefer to have a woman who has taken a thousand dicks and all but drowned in other men's seed rather than a clean and pure virgin because virgins "dont know what to do with a dick". they pathetically try to appear proud and triumphant whilst having the town slag hanging on their arm..

the second side (your side..the normal side), is agitated at the thought of another man having had the woman he loves... it is completely rational, and completely normal. Though...im assuming you aren't a virgin yourself..in which case you should just get over it...because you dont have any room to judge
 
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been there done that brother...takes time to get over it. make new memories and dont live in the past. if you love her you will move on and not hold it against her for having a life bf you...good luck to you tho and make everyday better than the last. get closer to her and you wont feel insecure..
 
Thanks all we do have a great marriage. IV never felt so comfy with someone like her. She tells me how amazing I am. I'm really calm and soft spoken with her. I do what ever i can for her. She tells me we are soul mates and i think we are to. She is always on my mind in a good way if I'm not thinking about this issue. When she is around I feel this feeling in my chest and always tell her how beautiful she is and we are the type that are always touching each other and tell each other how much we love each other. I'm always looking at our pictures and think how God looking she is. She said I'm the best thing that happened to her. She was divorced for 7 years didn't find anyone special till she met me and she wanted to get to know me and really liked me. We have allot in common and she had what i wanted in a women. I want like this with my ex wife just now. My ex didn't have the things that my wife had now. We hit it off good when we meet like we knew each other. I'm always telling her how much i love her and I'm emotional around her as if we argue it bothers me and will tear up some. If I look at our pictures I'll start to tear up sometimes and when she leaves we get a Little sad since we won't see each other for the day. Wouldn't it some what be love if it bothers me about her past ?

Yea it is normal to care about a spouses past, but to constantly dwell on it is not normal. It's kinda hard to help if you can't be clear about your concerns. Were you just worried about amount of partners, has she cheated on past spouses or you, was she a dancer / work girl ( no judgement or disrespect ). Sounds like your happy tho bro I think your in a great spot if you can just chill.
 
Well, ask yourself these questions: What if she did drugs 10 years before you met. Is she a drug addict to you? What if she was arrested for petty theft 15 years before you met. Does that make her a criminal? What if a woman got raped several years before you, would that be something that you bring up?

The day you made a commitment to each other is when that relationship starts, not several years before. I think you are a little insecure, not saying it is totally bad, but don't let in dwell too the point of no return. Love her now, not in the past. ;)
 
OP, what you're feeling is completely normal, though quite hypocritical assuming you weren't a virgin when you married her..

i see these types of discussions all the time.. there are two sides to this..


the first side, the beta cuckold faggots, will tell you that you're being insecure, not a "real man", and likely only stressed about this because you have a small penis.

These people try to convince themselves (and others) that they would prefer to have a woman who has taken a thousand dicks and all but drowned in other men's seed rather than a clean and pure virgin because virgins "dont know what to do with a dick". they pathetically try to appear proud and triumphant whilst having the town slag hanging on their arm..

the second side (your side..the normal side), is agitated at the thought of another man having had the woman he loves... it is completely rational, and completely normal. Though...im assuming you aren't a virgin yourself..in which case you should just get over it...because you dont have any room to judge

bro you hit it on the head of the nail. I told my wife that same thing. I told her I feel as in my head and heart that I don't like thinking about another man having my wife and putting his hands all over my wife. She had had 13 guys in the last 7 years she had been with 5 witch isn't much. She went to school with all 13 but 3 of them and me. She said they would most of the time call her her I assume just to get some. She was a big girl until 3 years ago as she had lost 80 lbs at 5'2" at 230 lbs until 3 years ago. So she wasn't comfy with her body. We tell each other all the time how much we love each other. I was in a marriage for 12 Years that my ex told me that she doesn't think i loved her. There was allot of yelling to where my 8 year old at the time asked why we yell so much. I didn't show my feelings to her at all. I can cry about what ever now to my wife as i didn't before. She would run of crying as i would get shit and ask why are you crying again all in a uncaring tone. She was a virgin also when we meet. So I went from knowing someone and being an assistant hole to someone who had had sex with others. My wife said she is very comfy and does anything with me and gets into it the most with me as before she wasn't comfy and didn't get into it as much and didn't show her body. We have the best sex we have ever we experience. Sorry for the personal info but maybe it will help with finding out why this is happening I just want this marriage to be love and happiness. I didn't have it in the last marriage.
 
been there done that brother...takes time to get over it. make new memories and dont live in the past. if you love her you will move on and not hold it against her for having a life bf you...good luck to you tho and make everyday better than the last. get closer to her and you wont feel insecure..


Was yours the same as i feel? You love your Partner but it hurts that she has had other men before you? It's what feels like in my head. I told her I'm jealous knowing the one I love had had other men. I look at pics of her before we where together and it makes me sad to see her and I didn't know her. I will picture me in the pic with her. Is this wrong or is it true love? She told me i feel all this because I'm in love. I feel it's the same. Ya I'm jealous as the Internet explains it but I don't feel as i have had this feeling before as when I think of her i chuckle thinking about her and I'm always kissing her for head and get this like hollow or numbing feeling.
 
Well, ask yourself these questions: What if she did drugs 10 years before you met. Is she a drug addict to you? What if she was arrested for petty theft 15 years before you met. Does that make her a criminal? What if a woman got raped several years before you, would that be something that you bring up?

The day you made a commitment to each other is when that relationship starts, not several years before. I think you are a little insecure, not saying it is totally bad, but don't let in dwell too the point of no return. Love her now, not in the past. ;)

Thanks bro this is why I'm trying to solve this issue. She tells me the same thing baby it's the past leave it go. Actually I was really bad in my last marriage. I would get caught talking to girls on Facebook she would always look at the phone bill asking who this number was and i got caught. Got caught sending pics of myself to another Co worker . I was like this for years and she took me back. I ended up cheating on her at the end and it didn't bother me. This was a 12 year marriage she told me we weren't Soul mates but I at least tried as you never cared to try. The thing is we where young I was in a bad relationship before and she wasn't ever in one and as my mom said I was pushed into it and I was young so i went with it. I don't think we where truly meant to be.

Thanks all keep it going it's nice not to get shot down but truly help full info.
 
Yea it is normal to care about a spouses past, but to constantly dwell on it is not normal. It's kinda hard to help if you can't be clear about your concerns. Were you just worried about amount of partners, has she cheated on past spouses or you, was she a dancer / work girl ( no judgement or disrespect ). Sounds like your happy tho bro I think your in a great spot if you can just chill.


The number of people and what have they done. We are very open with our sex. We do everything add from toys to anak but we will not go out side of us. We don't share partners I have always wanted to be a freak but no one to share it with till i meet her. She did the basics. Oral and different positions that about it till she meet me then i liked it all. She didn't care for anal as she had tried it till she meet me then now she can't get enough lol. She calls me a dirty freak. Sorry for the info again but anything might help.
 
The number of people and what have they done. We are very open with our sex. We do everything add from toys to anak but we will not go out side of us. We don't share partners I have always wanted to be a freak but no one to share it with till i meet her. She did the basics. Oral and different positions that about it till she meet me then i liked it all. She didn't care for anal as she had tried it till she meet me then now she can't get enough lol. She calls me a dirty freak. Sorry for the info again but anything might help.

I think you situation is very normal friend. Sounds like you are good to go. Be happy enjoy life n yes it's hard to know the woman you love has been with other people.
 
She even had some of her past exes on her Facebook that doesn't bother me. I totally trust her . Is just this feeling that i don't like others have had My wife and not me. Maybe it's because I was happy knowing that i had someone that never had sex before and I'm still not used to this. It's been in my head since about the time we meet. She told me that I'm the best thing that had happened to her and she is love with me now then anyone ever as i believe it. We write love letters to each other off and on. I maid dinner for her tonight since I'm of work for a week as she came home I had dinner. We are always asking how our day went today at work we pray every night before bed. We will always tell each other If something is bothering us. We try to communicate with each other as it's the number one marriage break up. My last marriage was bad and i wasn't ever happy feeling. I was a Joker at work as she was but at home we didn't joke we where up tight so I want this to last and we pray every night to keep us happy and last. We took a pre marriage counseling course to help us and we took a test and the preacher told us with the scores we had that if he didn't know us he would of thought we cheated we had the same out look. We are very soft spoken with each other and constantly show our love is just this dang thoughts. I like to tell myself is a test to our marriage as marriage is constantly tested. When we sleep I always have to hold our have my hand on her also and if she is in a bad mood I feel as it hurts me as if I did something.
 

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