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Feeling lonely and depressed

jprotein210

New member
Newbies
Joined
Jan 26, 2014
Messages
39
Hey guys,

So this past November me and my ex broke up. We had been dating for close to 7 years and living in Toronto together. We are both young (I am 23, she is 21). We have had lots of problems before in the past. She cheated on me with a best friend and another time couple years ago she went on a "break" and had sex with another friend of a friend. Basically it got to point where I would say I trusted her but deep down I never really did. We actually had a point when we got back together 2 years ago and moved in together but not technically "dating". We were seeing other people...well, she was...I wasn't because it was akward and weird. Anyway this guy (James) she was seeing was one of her ex friends ex and she told me it was just to get back at her friend. Either way she developed a relationship with him and I can tell you it was the most fucked up situation. We were living together then she would go home and be with that guy. Anyway I ended up leaving and then I was the bad guy for leaving, because magically she wanted to be with me. Well, stupid me last summer I decided to get back with her and we continued off. For a while everything seemed normal, but still deep down I had insecuritys. She also started talking to James again and he would call her at like 12am. She kept telling me they were just friends, but I knew better at that point.

This past September I started taking steroids in order to pursue bodybuilding and I didn't tell her for a couple weeks, then I brought it up to her and we almost broke up. She would throw it in my face everytime we fought and it got worse and worse. I just was not happy. I also finally got a big break in my life and got a job with TTC, which is the city's transportation system. She was in university for science and was very deep in her study's and travelled a lot and planned to travel lots in the future. I felt like if I stayed with her I would not be happy as the money I would be making would be towards a life that works for her and not me.

I then decided that I was going to leave her for good, I had to leave my apartment and because I have not started my job with TTC yet I was working at a furniture company. I had to tell them the situation and until I figured things out I would stay at my mom's place in Stratford. Well, I am still in Stratford and find myself miserable almost every day. Some days I feel like I want to be back with my ex, but I know its just because it was all I knew. I was with her since I was 16 and she has been all I know.

I met another girl who I am dating now, and she is amazing. She has been through a lot in her past like me. I was in foster home for 7 years due to abusive father and then experienced a very abusive step dad. It really fucked up my confidence and trust in people. I basically always doubt people until they prove themselves, which can be a good and bad thing I guess.

Anyway, this girl lifts/diets hard (my ex HATED everything about bodybuilding)and supports me 100%, she even helps me pin and is so easy to talk to about everything. I feel blessed that I have met her. The only thing is she lives about 2 hours away, so I do not see her very often. She is planning on moving to Toronto with me in the summer though.

I do not understand why I am still unhappy and depressed. I mean, I was also without work for 2 months and was broke for good part of it, but I always managed to work odd jobs here and there and figure things out. Now I am working a job finally and just waiting till I go for training in Toronto.

Some days I feel very positive and then other days I get very negative and think suicidal thoughts, thinking that this will be my life forever (staying in Stratford working at a factory). I just don't know how to control my negative thoughts. I thought I would be happy leaving my ex but it has left me being unsure about myself.


If anyone has been in similar situation or can help out in anyway that would be great.

Thanks!
 
well the solution is definitely NOT getting back with your ex..

it's funny you mention how you went on a "break" and she started sleeping with other guys, I was just talking to a friend about how girls do that.

id say just lay low for a while, work and lift weights, don't get your hopes up too high about this new girl. definitely never contact your ex again ever.. and just wait until you move to Toronto.


everyone goes through rough patches like this where life seems meaningless...at least you have an able body and aren't drowning in debt right? try to be more positive and thankful for the things that you do have.
 
Bud your only 23 your life will totally change in the next year or two. By next year your not gonna give a shit about your X.
 
If your having suicidal thoughts go talk to a Dr. Dont wait, go now. Please

Sent from my N860 using Tapatalk 2
 
Besides the advice given above, talk to your doctor. You may need to get on an antidepressant for a while or maybe even permanently. Your situation with your ex is similar to something I went through. It beat me down pretty bad too. After several years of that crap, it left me a little angry, depressed, and numb - for lack of a better way to put it. Fall and winter were definitely the worst.

Focusing on lifting, diet and the other things that are gonna better you in the long run will help you out a bit. You didn't mention any friends where you're staying now, but having friends, or better yet - friends from the gym or something else that adds enjoyment to your life - would really help fill the holes you are feeling now. Avoid alcohol!

Keep your chin up and I hope this helps you out a bit!
 
Thanks a lot for the suggestions guys! I will be going to talk to a doctor, I know my
biological father has to take anti ds for life so it may be a genetic thing.

I definitely will not be getting back together with my ex. I just wish I was back in Toronto living my life, being here just feels like a huge step backward. So when I think back to my life in Toronto then she pops up, but I know I would have and can be just as happy if not way more happy without her.

All I can do is wait it out till I go back to Toronto, I am dieting for a competition so I am very anti social at the moment. Really doesn't help things but I try to hang out with friends when I can, just most of time they wanna drink an stuff and I have 0 interest in drinking or doing rec drugs.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
If you're depressed...not drinking and doing rec. Drugs is a good thing. Some people tend to nit understand some of us have chemical imbalances in our brains. We need meds to make us right. With out meds my life would be unbearable..negative..just drowning in a sea of desperation. Get to a Dr
 
oh yeah sounds just like depression go see a doc right now dont ignore your symptoms serious
 
Suicide is never a good option. Live long enough and you will realize that the "here and now" was just a minor speed bump along the way. You will be amazed with the obstacles you're able to overcome. Look at this way....your life has to be better than Rob Ford's. He surprisingly has a pretty good attitude considering his life choices.
 
thanks a lot guys, the suicide thouhhts have happened in past before an only one time when I was beyond wasted did i attempt to act on them. luckily my buddy was there an he stopped me. I have always fought through the negatives in my life an turned them into positives. never wanted to be that kid with depression and hating life because shit, life really isnt that bad. There is always something positive around the corner. I have good job with TTC around the corner an family and friends, a new gf and I dont have to deal with my cheating ex. i have my bodybuilding which consumes most of my life, so things could be worse :). just wish i thought this way 24/7 lol, maybe the doc will have some answers


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
honestly....

I completely "LOL" at your painful life...
you are a BABY BOY, and have a lifetime of experiences to
"experience"....

your life could be 10 TIMES WORSE....!!!!

and I will NOT go there with you....

but if I went "tick for tat" with you....YOU WOULD LOSE!!!!

all of your misfortunes..?? imagine 3 children involved..??
imagine not seeing them for over a year..???

take this as a HUGE wakeup call, and move on "living at home
with mommy"......wake the fuck up!!!! there are a MILLION
fish in the sea kiddo...count your blessing you have no kids with her
or ANY other ties....move the fuck on man...and grow the fuck up
and yea...my mother gave me up at 2 years old too...blablabla... be
stronger......BE STRONGER!!!!....AND OVERCOME!!!!

im very sorry if this comes off "too harsh" but its for your own good..

:cool:
 
yeah I hear ya, trust me i think the same thing, however its more complicated than that. As I said my biological father has to take anti ds for life because his brain does not produce enough of the hormone that makes u happy (forget the name atm). so that may be the issue with me, i am a rationale person most of time and I can see how insignifigant this is. Which is why i need to go to doctor an get it figured out cause people end their life for stupid reasons, sometimes out of their control but they never seek help.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Also it doesnt matter how much hardships you have been through compared to someone else. Depression is depression, I know people who have the perfect life but are still depressed as fuck, its a condition that effects your brain an makes you overthink every little thing and turn everything into a negative. Basically fucking with your head making u think stupid shit. I dont choose to think or act this way an i hide it very well in my personal life. Maybe those things that happened are excuses for why i am depressed, but i still need to fix this an will be talking with doctor next week.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Also it doesnt matter how much hardships you have been through compared to someone else. Depression is depression, I know people who have the perfect life but are still depressed as fuck, its a condition that effects your brain an makes you overthink every little thing and turn everything into a negative. Basically fucking with your head making u think stupid shit. I dont choose to think or act this way an i hide it very well in my personal life. Maybe those things that happened are excuses for why i am depressed, but i still need to fix this an will be talking with doctor next week.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

With your Outlook on life and all your troubles not sure why you are posting on an anonymous bbing board. You sound miserable and need a lot more than this board can privide. No offense happiness is a state of mind and I believe many are just unhappy people...who knows though I've been through a lot and never was depressed but frankly I like being me and my life despite ups and downs.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk 2
 
With your Outlook on life and all your troubles not sure why you are posting on an anonymous bbing board. You sound miserable and need a lot more than this board can privide. No offense happiness is a state of mind and I believe many are just unhappy people...who knows though I've been through a lot and never was depressed but frankly I like being me and my life despite ups and downs.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk 2



I feel I am a happy person though, most of the time I am happy, however I let shit bother me that shouldn't and then it leads to over thinking of the situation and then all those negative thoughts come and it takes me a while to control it and get back to feeling "normal". No one that knows me would say I am miserable or depressed, I am not like that at all. Basically posted here to see if others have felt the same and how they delt with it. For example I in a much better place now then when I originally posted this, I feel positive about everything and do feel happy, however I do not want to keep feeling this way anytime shit hits the fan.
 

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