- Joined
- Jan 26, 2014
- Messages
- 39
Hey guys,
So this past November me and my ex broke up. We had been dating for close to 7 years and living in Toronto together. We are both young (I am 23, she is 21). We have had lots of problems before in the past. She cheated on me with a best friend and another time couple years ago she went on a "break" and had sex with another friend of a friend. Basically it got to point where I would say I trusted her but deep down I never really did. We actually had a point when we got back together 2 years ago and moved in together but not technically "dating". We were seeing other people...well, she was...I wasn't because it was akward and weird. Anyway this guy (James) she was seeing was one of her ex friends ex and she told me it was just to get back at her friend. Either way she developed a relationship with him and I can tell you it was the most fucked up situation. We were living together then she would go home and be with that guy. Anyway I ended up leaving and then I was the bad guy for leaving, because magically she wanted to be with me. Well, stupid me last summer I decided to get back with her and we continued off. For a while everything seemed normal, but still deep down I had insecuritys. She also started talking to James again and he would call her at like 12am. She kept telling me they were just friends, but I knew better at that point.
This past September I started taking steroids in order to pursue bodybuilding and I didn't tell her for a couple weeks, then I brought it up to her and we almost broke up. She would throw it in my face everytime we fought and it got worse and worse. I just was not happy. I also finally got a big break in my life and got a job with TTC, which is the city's transportation system. She was in university for science and was very deep in her study's and travelled a lot and planned to travel lots in the future. I felt like if I stayed with her I would not be happy as the money I would be making would be towards a life that works for her and not me.
I then decided that I was going to leave her for good, I had to leave my apartment and because I have not started my job with TTC yet I was working at a furniture company. I had to tell them the situation and until I figured things out I would stay at my mom's place in Stratford. Well, I am still in Stratford and find myself miserable almost every day. Some days I feel like I want to be back with my ex, but I know its just because it was all I knew. I was with her since I was 16 and she has been all I know.
I met another girl who I am dating now, and she is amazing. She has been through a lot in her past like me. I was in foster home for 7 years due to abusive father and then experienced a very abusive step dad. It really fucked up my confidence and trust in people. I basically always doubt people until they prove themselves, which can be a good and bad thing I guess.
Anyway, this girl lifts/diets hard (my ex HATED everything about bodybuilding)and supports me 100%, she even helps me pin and is so easy to talk to about everything. I feel blessed that I have met her. The only thing is she lives about 2 hours away, so I do not see her very often. She is planning on moving to Toronto with me in the summer though.
I do not understand why I am still unhappy and depressed. I mean, I was also without work for 2 months and was broke for good part of it, but I always managed to work odd jobs here and there and figure things out. Now I am working a job finally and just waiting till I go for training in Toronto.
Some days I feel very positive and then other days I get very negative and think suicidal thoughts, thinking that this will be my life forever (staying in Stratford working at a factory). I just don't know how to control my negative thoughts. I thought I would be happy leaving my ex but it has left me being unsure about myself.
If anyone has been in similar situation or can help out in anyway that would be great.
Thanks!
So this past November me and my ex broke up. We had been dating for close to 7 years and living in Toronto together. We are both young (I am 23, she is 21). We have had lots of problems before in the past. She cheated on me with a best friend and another time couple years ago she went on a "break" and had sex with another friend of a friend. Basically it got to point where I would say I trusted her but deep down I never really did. We actually had a point when we got back together 2 years ago and moved in together but not technically "dating". We were seeing other people...well, she was...I wasn't because it was akward and weird. Anyway this guy (James) she was seeing was one of her ex friends ex and she told me it was just to get back at her friend. Either way she developed a relationship with him and I can tell you it was the most fucked up situation. We were living together then she would go home and be with that guy. Anyway I ended up leaving and then I was the bad guy for leaving, because magically she wanted to be with me. Well, stupid me last summer I decided to get back with her and we continued off. For a while everything seemed normal, but still deep down I had insecuritys. She also started talking to James again and he would call her at like 12am. She kept telling me they were just friends, but I knew better at that point.
This past September I started taking steroids in order to pursue bodybuilding and I didn't tell her for a couple weeks, then I brought it up to her and we almost broke up. She would throw it in my face everytime we fought and it got worse and worse. I just was not happy. I also finally got a big break in my life and got a job with TTC, which is the city's transportation system. She was in university for science and was very deep in her study's and travelled a lot and planned to travel lots in the future. I felt like if I stayed with her I would not be happy as the money I would be making would be towards a life that works for her and not me.
I then decided that I was going to leave her for good, I had to leave my apartment and because I have not started my job with TTC yet I was working at a furniture company. I had to tell them the situation and until I figured things out I would stay at my mom's place in Stratford. Well, I am still in Stratford and find myself miserable almost every day. Some days I feel like I want to be back with my ex, but I know its just because it was all I knew. I was with her since I was 16 and she has been all I know.
I met another girl who I am dating now, and she is amazing. She has been through a lot in her past like me. I was in foster home for 7 years due to abusive father and then experienced a very abusive step dad. It really fucked up my confidence and trust in people. I basically always doubt people until they prove themselves, which can be a good and bad thing I guess.
Anyway, this girl lifts/diets hard (my ex HATED everything about bodybuilding)and supports me 100%, she even helps me pin and is so easy to talk to about everything. I feel blessed that I have met her. The only thing is she lives about 2 hours away, so I do not see her very often. She is planning on moving to Toronto with me in the summer though.
I do not understand why I am still unhappy and depressed. I mean, I was also without work for 2 months and was broke for good part of it, but I always managed to work odd jobs here and there and figure things out. Now I am working a job finally and just waiting till I go for training in Toronto.
Some days I feel very positive and then other days I get very negative and think suicidal thoughts, thinking that this will be my life forever (staying in Stratford working at a factory). I just don't know how to control my negative thoughts. I thought I would be happy leaving my ex but it has left me being unsure about myself.
If anyone has been in similar situation or can help out in anyway that would be great.
Thanks!