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G/f not into fitness lifestyle

SemiIntense

New member
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Joined
Feb 5, 2014
Messages
75
I've been with my g/f for a bit over three years. She's fantastic... I've never gotten along better with anyone in my life, we've never even had an argument that I can think of. I absolutely love every second I spend with her, I've never not looked forward to being with her.

My only issue is that while she's not obese or anything, she's really pushing the weight limit.... I mean, she's overweight. And I feel like an ass for saying it but honestly, speaking to a group of guys here, you all know how it is.... I mean visual attraction does play some part. It's tough because her sisters and cousins are all smoking hot and in great shape and I feel bad but I can't help but check them out.

I've been with really hot women before, who unfortunately were just shallow, one-dimensional and boring. And to be honest, I'd much rather have what I have now than go back to what I had before, no contest.... but I'm a guy and I do have those cravings.

To cut to the chase.... I'm sticking with her, she's an amazing woman. I'm just wondering if there's any hope of me converting her to be more fit.... she's actually really attractive but she puts no effort, no matter how much I try she just likes to eat junk and wear baggy t-shirts etc.

The usual answer I get is to take her to the gym with me.... this is where I want a bodybuilders opinion b/c as some of you know, many of us don't actually spend much time in the gym. I'm a 3-day a week "Team Skip"/DC guy so that doesn't leave much.

Should I just let it rest? Have any of you been in this situation? I keep trying to make it about me, and having her weigh out my meals etc. so MAYBE she'll somehow just fall into the habit out of routine but I'm thinking it's a lost cause and maybe I should just let it be. Does it make me a bad person that I love her but I wish she would take more pride in her appearance?
 
I've been with my g/f for a bit over three years. She's fantastic... I've never gotten along better with anyone in my life, we've never even had an argument that I can think of. I absolutely love every second I spend with her, I've never not looked forward to being with her.

My only issue is that while she's not obese or anything, she's really pushing the weight limit.... I mean, she's overweight. And I feel like an ass for saying it but honestly, speaking to a group of guys here, you all know how it is.... I mean visual attraction does play some part. It's tough because her sisters and cousins are all smoking hot and in great shape and I feel bad but I can't help but check them out.

I've been with really hot women before, who unfortunately were just shallow, one-dimensional and boring. And to be honest, I'd much rather have what I have now than go back to what I had before, no contest.... but I'm a guy and I do have those cravings.

To cut to the chase.... I'm sticking with her, she's an amazing woman. I'm just wondering if there's any hope of me converting her to be more fit.... she's actually really attractive but she puts no effort, no matter how much I try she just likes to eat junk and wear baggy t-shirts etc.

The usual answer I get is to take her to the gym with me.... this is where I want a bodybuilders opinion b/c as some of you know, many of us don't actually spend much time in the gym. I'm a 3-day a week "Team Skip"/DC guy so that doesn't leave much.

Should I just let it rest? Have any of you been in this situation? I keep trying to make it about me, and having her weigh out my meals etc. so MAYBE she'll somehow just fall into the habit out of routine but I'm thinking it's a lost cause and maybe I should just let it be. Does it make me a bad person that I love her but I wish she would take more pride in her appearance?

try creating a little jealousy. If you have FB, start messaging some hot fitness chicks. Randomly drop a comment about the bikini competitor at your gym. Come back late sometimes and don't offer an explanation. It's counterintuitive and really hard to do, especially if you really love the girl, but drama, jealousy, and insecurity are catnip to a woman. If all else fails, make a smoothie every morning for her and drop in some ECA or clen.
 
also, try reading therationalmale.com and heartiste.wordpress.com for insights into gender relations in the modern age. It might be a hard pill to swallow, but you'll thank me later, trust me. Their views apply especially if you live in the United States.
 
I've been with my g/f for a bit over three years. She's fantastic... I've never gotten along better with anyone in my life, we've never even had an argument that I can think of. I absolutely love every second I spend with her, I've never not looked forward to being with her.

My only issue is that while she's not obese or anything, she's really pushing the weight limit.... I mean, she's overweight. And I feel like an ass for saying it but honestly, speaking to a group of guys here, you all know how it is.... I mean visual attraction does play some part. It's tough because her sisters and cousins are all smoking hot and in great shape and I feel bad but I can't help but check them out.

I've been with really hot women before, who unfortunately were just shallow, one-dimensional and boring. And to be honest, I'd much rather have what I have now than go back to what I had before, no contest.... but I'm a guy and I do have those cravings.

To cut to the chase.... I'm sticking with her, she's an amazing woman. I'm just wondering if there's any hope of me converting her to be more fit.... she's actually really attractive but she puts no effort, no matter how much I try she just likes to eat junk and wear baggy t-shirts etc.

The usual answer I get is to take her to the gym with me.... this is where I want a bodybuilders opinion b/c as some of you know, many of us don't actually spend much time in the gym. I'm a 3-day a week "Team Skip"/DC guy so that doesn't leave much.

Should I just let it rest? Have any of you been in this situation? I keep trying to make it about me, and having her weigh out my meals etc. so MAYBE she'll somehow just fall into the habit out of routine but I'm thinking it's a lost cause and maybe I should just let it be. Does it make me a bad person that I love her but I wish she would take more pride in her appearance?

Bro I hear ya. glad you are dealing with it carefully.
you can set up a challenge of doing a 5 k run for a cause or something like that. get her involved and tell her to motivate you tick something of your bucket list. train with her few times a week leading up to the run. make her feel important about your health and fitness lifestyle.
this could get the ball rolling?
 
I think your better off letting her be and enjoying what you've got. People are either into this fitness stuff or not imo. No arguments and look forward to spending time together? it doesn't get any better. Like you say a lot of these hot girls are very shalow and just good for a bit of fun.

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk 2
 
How about just going on walks every night together? Just say hey do you want to start going on walks every night? It's nice out and I figured we could do it together to get some fresh air and explain to her you want to do it for your heart health and would love if she comes with you. Half hour walk a night really would be a great start.... And maybe slip her some clen lol.
 
try creating a little jealousy. If you have FB, start messaging some hot fitness chicks. Randomly drop a comment about the bikini competitor at your gym. Come back late sometimes and don't offer an explanation. It's counterintuitive and really hard to do, especially if you really love the girl, but drama, jealousy, and insecurity are catnip to a woman. If all else fails, make a smoothie every morning for her and drop in some ECA or clen.

NOT a good option jealously will just create problems.

How about just going on walks every night together? Just say hey do you want to start going on walks every night? It's nice out and I figured we could do it together to get some fresh air and explain to her you want to do it for your heart health and would love if she comes with you. Half hour walk a night really would be a great start.... And maybe slip her some clen lol.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

The clen comment is hilarious LOL
 
slip her some clen.... lmao I almost spit my drink at the computer.

Thanks for the replies though. The whole reason I posted this was b/c two nights ago we went to a party and to be honest my eyes were ogling the girls all night, and it reminded me what it felt like to be super sexually turned on by a girl which with her doesn't happen as much. And as much as that sucks, she's a keeper in every other way and has stood with me through some rough times I've had and just treats me like a king, first relationship I've had with zero drama.

She's also the least jealous person I've ever met, we've been to fitness/bikini shows together and she actually loves going because she says the girls look so pretty.... but when it comes to herself she just doesn't seem to care too much, like I said her usual attire is a baggy t-shirt. She has very attractive features but just doesn't seem to care.

I do think my only chance is to focus more on the health aspect, I'm in my early thirties and I'll soon start focusing not just on bodybuilding but a bit more on my general health, I do think taking it from that perspective is more likely to not hurt her feelings (obviously lol).
 
why are you pushing your form of fitness, the gym/weights/cardio on her. My wife loves yoga, some do crossfit, its about finding an activity she can embrace and enjoy. After kids I told my wife she needed to "rehab" her body. During pregnancy the abs separate and need to be strengthened again. Maybe talk about kids, how hard it is on the body and getting ready for them some day like it is a mountain climb she needs to be ready for. This re-inforces you want a future with her (+1 for you), instead of mind fucking her and making her insecure with jealousy (just stupid). Stay home cook better foods with her... maybe naked just an apron on, make it fun, go food shopping together, cook together (good food).
 
I'll give you my opinion which starts with not making her feel anything negative like guilt or jealousy and not slipping her any drugs. She's not a overweight pet.

There is a trade-off between smart and confident women because they no longer feel any terrible compulsion to look like a barbie doll and often rather go for comfort over looks (function over form). You almost cannot expect a deep and thoughtful woman (or a man) to really give two shits about something as superficial as outward appearance (which is doomed to fail anyway).

Health, strength, and longevity is another factor. Those can be logically justified in anyone's mind no matter how intelligent and down to earth the person is. That is the angle I would try to stress. NOT as a way to make her thinner or better looking but more SO THAT YOU CAN ENJOY EACH OTHER LONGER and to the fullest.

Try not to dehumanize her because that will always blow up in your face and don't try to "play" her because she's likely more intelligent than you and will end up playing you by doing the same things to you that you are doing to her to illustrate HER point.

To be honest, I have no idea what this girl looks like but anyone would be a little envious to have such a confident, loving, and loyal woman at his side.

Maybe count your blessings on this one Jack.
 
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Love is much more than ONLY physical. If she doesn't hamper the time you spend in the gym or complain...and she makes you happy....who cares. Srs. My wife is not long for this world cause of a disease which is incurable...she has hospice and is wheelchair confined...still lets me go to gym almost daily. Then I spend time caring for her. Is what is man...if you truly love someone you you adjust
 
The sad thing is that it's probably only 5-20 vanity pounds that you are whining about. Some of us have to deal with our woman growing morbidly obese, which can occur in as few as (or after) one pregnancy. My wife has literally gained about 90 pounds since I met her and got her pregnant almost 7 years ago. Try imagining a woman you love weighing 1.5 times what you do and still trying to treat her like the woman you met and love. Talk about challenging!!! Especially when already fighting an uphill battle of trying eat healthy on your own.
 
try creating a little jealousy. If you have FB, start messaging some hot fitness chicks. Randomly drop a comment about the bikini competitor at your gym. Come back late sometimes and don't offer an explanation. It's counterintuitive and really hard to do, especially if you really love the girl, but drama, jealousy, and insecurity are catnip to a woman. If all else fails, make a smoothie every morning for her and drop in some ECA or clen.


Dumbest advice ever.
 
Alot of women that find comfort in food or have let themselfs go a bit, dont want to go, or dont like the idea of a gym enviroment. To meat markety. Try doing things together, hiking,biking, maybe a fitness boot camp. So its an event Both of you are doing. Probably a more comfortable experiance for her.
 
She's a lucky girl. I hear ya OP. I've had chicks that were fun as hell to ride and a complete PIA otherwise. And we ARE hardwired to get the sexy mate - it's a lizard brain thing. If you ever figure out how to get beyond that let me know.

My wife is fading from going to the gym with me lately and gaining size. I could get her into motocross but the gym is just not her thing. I pass on diet and fat loss tips I come across with enthusiasm and use some myself - like you getting her involved in weighing food.

It is what is until it isn't acceptable anymore. Then it is that. And that is that IMHO.
 
Fitness is my passion and my life..I couldnt imagine being wh someone who doesnt share personal interests. As a woman my only advice would be to start off small wh exercises you can do together ie walking, biking etc. Try to start eating healthier and make cooking healthy meals a fun time together. Once she starts to lose weight she'll feel better then you can motivate her to get in the gym!
 
Fitness is my passion and my life..I couldnt imagine being wh someone who doesnt share personal interests. As a woman my only advice would be to start off small wh exercises you can do together ie walking, biking etc. Try to start eating healthier and make cooking healthy meals a fun time together. Once she starts to lose weight she'll feel better then you can motivate her to get in the gym!


Spot on advice. I know my girlfriend and I are starting to bike, hike, and go on nightly walks together. She is into working out also so I'm very lucky and she is fit, but we like to focus now more on the health than the actual bodybuilding aspect. Health first so we can work on kids down the road.
 
Fitness is my passion and my life..I couldnt imagine being wh someone who doesnt share personal interests. As a woman my only advice would be to start off small wh exercises you can do together ie walking, biking etc. Try to start eating healthier and make cooking healthy meals a fun time together. Once she starts to lose weight she'll feel better then you can motivate her to get in the gym!
I totally disagree but that's cool. It may be your passion but it may not be hers - or at least no longer important to her. All those are great activities to share together but if she begins to feel you're "coaching" her, then the immediate question will culminate in her head as, "Am I not good enough already?"

My point is, if you're going to try to transform this girl's physique by ANY method, than you will fail. It is SHE that has to want to make those changes and have good reasons why.

Maybe you can change her into what you want. But more often than not, but not always, you'll be looking for what you want elsewhere. There is no algorithm to change another person into what you want.

Sounds to me though, that she's already what you want.
 
Spot on advice. I know my girlfriend and I are starting to bike, hike, and go on nightly walks together. She is into working out also so I'm very lucky and she is fit, but we like to focus now more on the health than the actual bodybuilding aspect. Health first so we can work on kids down the road.

My wife and I are the same way, she would rather go on walks at night or bike rides instead of going to the gym, but I am lucky though cause she has good genetics and stays in good shape without a lot of work, she just goes to aerobics 1-2 x per week. Its hard to push someone to work out if the passion isn't there.
 
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