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am i a sociopath? life of recluse

jrs

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Ive had a very different life than a lot of people. things like dating or sexual conquest are so old and familiar to me that i have no desire. Im late 20s, healthy and enjoy a good porn vid but i turn down girls and women politely every time.

I have old friends that i call occasionally and a lot of my other friends have gotten married/gf/kids/career and dont have much time or desire to hang like we used to. Basically never.

I signed up for a few dating sites just to see whats out there. I find myself hitting 'next' the entire time. I meet and chat w women through work or randomness in life but only always under the assumption we'll never see each other again.

I 'friend zone' myself on purpose and i cant remember the last time ive pursued anybody. Sometimes i miss legit passion but im pretty numb and realize all the external factors first as to why re: fleeting romance

A lot of it is knowing that as a bit of an eccentric and out-of-the-box person, i have little to nothing in common with most people and they are more comfortable just being acquainted. im cool with that

I dont have a facebook profile. My closest friends and i just text or call pretty rarely. I dont have a tv, never have as an adult. I really dislike group thought and actions and generally just flank the 'crowd'

Being a very untraditional person, and based on experiences both personal and of friends/acquaintances ive come to hate the idea of marriage and even traditional relationships. Sometimes i feel the same about friendships with people i dont yet know well.

Sometimes i get bored. And of course sometimes lonely. But i cherish peace, freedom and solitude more than enough to make up for it

I dont want regrets, but i guess i cant regret something i didnt want anyway.

Since its a first question, i am currently depressed (seasonal, economic, genetic factors) but i have had these characteristics for a long time even those times that im really loving life

If this says anything, i havent had sex in 6 months and the last few times were with an old friend/flame. Im getting the feeling she wants more of life and to move on. So zero prospects now and no ambition.

Is anybody here similar?
 
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Honestly I have similar feelings about people and life, but you are much more of a loner than I, and it took me a long time to be this way.
Although I feel similar to you most of the time, I do actually from time to time desire some human interaction, but its infrequent.
Dating and women- well thats something I gave up on a couple years, back and my legal problems only solidified my position that I had no business getting involved with anyone under the current situation.
I have become comfortable living this way, but I see that it has its disadvantages at times and I wonder if Im going to regret it. But so far, I do not.
I do not like our sick society and the younger generations make me ill.
The are spoiled, entitled and lazy, especially when it comes to fitness and bodybuilding.
Bodybuilding is a one person, individual sport, and it attracts people like you and I.
But for your age you are much further a long than I am, and in my case it took many negative experiences to shape me into what I am now.
 
Similar in a lot of ways. I have a son and my bodybuilding and Just have no real interest in the rest of it. If I'm honest my social life is work and the gym but I'm content so see no reason to change.

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk 2
 
What you gentlemen are describing is a very common treatable condition. I see no pathology here. A sociopath would likely not feel lonely nor would they question whether or not they are sociopathic in nature. A sociopath would have no feelings at all on the matter and commonly and sometimes inadvertently causes harm to others emotionally or physically because they lack sympathy and/or empathy.

I think you guys are just part of a growing group of people that are simply antisocial by choice and feel quite alienated on this crazy rock. Well, it's not totally by choice because the very nature of the direction of our society actually creates alienation. Many people no longer even know their own neighbors.

The feelings of alienation are soooo common and I assure you, you are quite sane. You need to exercise some social experience though. Join a group, get involved in something. Something rewarding that you can see the good you are doing. This is a very ill planet and there is plenty of room for you make it well.

You will find it feels much better to treat it than be a part of it.

Taking the first step though.... not easy.
 
What you gentlemen are describing is a very common treatable condition. I see no pathology here. A sociopath would likely not feel lonely nor would they question whether or not they are sociopathic in nature. A sociopath would have no feelings at all on the matter and commonly and sometimes inadvertently causes harm to others emotionally or physically because they lack sympathy and/or empathy.

I think you guys are just part of a growing group of people that are simply antisocial by choice and feel quite alienated on this crazy rock. Well, it's not totally by choice because the very nature of the direction of our society actually creates alienation. Many people no longer even know their own neighbors.

The feelings of alienation are soooo common and I assure you, you are quite sane. You need to exercise some social experience though. Join a group, get involved in something. Something rewarding that you can see the good you are doing. This is a very ill planet and there is plenty of room for you make it well.

You will find it feels much better to treat it than be a part of it.

Taking the first step though.... not easy.

Very good points made. I think I would describe myself as socially lazy as much as anything. When I'm in a social situation im very good and chatty and most people just seem to click with me, but I just can't be bothered going out socially and keeping in contact with people. I just never seen to get lonely or need it. I'd never even thought about it until I read this post. I guess in just a bit of a loner who's very easy to talk to. I seem to just like going at life alone

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk 2
 
Very good points made. I think I would describe myself as socially lazy as much as anything. When I'm in a social situation im very good and chatty and most people just seem to click with me, but I just can't be bothered going out socially and keeping in contact with people. I just never seen to get lonely or need it. I'd never even thought about it until I read this post. I guess in just a bit of a loner who's very easy to talk to. I seem to just like going at life alone

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk 2

That's a perfectly normal personality trait. Certainly not a condition of any sort. I felt the OP was concerned he was abnormal or otherwise questioning his sanity. He, and you, are pretty safe in my estimation.
 
Is anybody here similar?
Yes, me. But I force myself to go out. It's too easy to stay inside your shell. People need you and whether you know it or not, you need them. Get the hell out of the house and go play. You're missing it!
 
What you gentlemen are describing is a very common treatable condition. I see no pathology here. A sociopath would likely not feel lonely nor would they question whether or not they are sociopathic in nature. A sociopath would have no feelings at all on the matter and commonly and sometimes inadvertently causes harm to others emotionally or physically because they lack sympathy and/or empathy.

I think you guys are just part of a growing group of people that are simply antisocial by choice and feel quite alienated on this crazy rock. Well, it's not totally by choice because the very nature of the direction of our society actually creates alienation. Many people no longer even know their own neighbors.

The feelings of alienation are soooo common and I assure you, you are quite sane. You need to exercise some social experience though. Join a group, get involved in something. Something rewarding that you can see the good you are doing. This is a very ill planet and there is plenty of room for you make it well.

You will find it feels much better to treat it than be a part of it.

Taking the first step though.... not easy.

Great advice OTH.

My perspective has been that Im definitely not sociopathic, as you said that would be lack of empathy and sociopaths usually need to do extreme things just to feel a small amount of emotion.

My situation is my own doing. But socially I am an outcaste. Bodybuilding as much as I love it has not improved my situation.
And I think at times I have enjoyed being an outcaste a bit too much. My image really has taken on a life of its own. Being well above average size on or off the juice (juice made it worse) makes me intimidating and having tatts all over really makes people shy away from me a lot more than the average person. I notice that I make people nervous, uncomfortable and often times hostile without any provocation.
Having a criminal record and having done multiple prison sentences has made me feel even less accepted by the general public. And having recently completed one of these prison sentences I feel like people are looking at me like Im a criminal at all times. Its the stink of prison that takes a little time to wash off and its still been too little time.
Right now, I have extreme anxiety about dealing with people whom I do not know or trust. Job interviews have been particularly stressful especially knowing that I have to go through background checks for just about every damned shit job out there now.
All this has culminated in a general feeling of just not wanting to deal with people whatsoever. And especially not putting myself out there and not letting anyone know too much about me, Im not proud of my past and I damn sure dont want to share that with strangers.
And dating? LMFAO! Not a chance. I just about break out laughing at the thought of some woman wanting much to do with a 40 some yr old ex-con without a good job.
I am after all, a realist.
And honestly Its not like Im some damned handsome bastard to begin with lol! Again my looks frighten the opposite sex, and I have been told I look like a biker (despite not owning a bike) or a serial murderer.
I dont know whether to be insulted or not with comments like that.
In fact before, and after I went to prison I two different hot girls showing me a ton of interest and I had to just ignore it because I didn't dare want to talk to them have either one of them find out about all my skeletons in my closet, and I felt like I would be wasting their time, which is something I will not do to another person.
 
After looking up what a sociopath actually is via Google it is very clear the op isn't one, or anyone posting hear

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk 2
 
After looking up what a sociopath actually is via Google it is very clear the op isn't one, or anyone posting hear

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk 2
LOL
 
Great advice OTH.

My perspective has been that Im definitely not sociopathic, as you said that would be lack of empathy and sociopaths usually need to do extreme things just to feel a small amount of emotion.

My situation is my own doing. But socially I am an outcaste. Bodybuilding as much as I love it has not improved my situation.
And I think at times I have enjoyed being an outcaste a bit too much. My image really has taken on a life of its own. Being well above average size on or off the juice (juice made it worse) makes me intimidating and having tatts all over really makes people shy away from me a lot more than the average person. I notice that I make people nervous, uncomfortable and often times hostile without any provocation.
Having a criminal record and having done multiple prison sentences has made me feel even less accepted by the general public. And having recently completed one of these prison sentences I feel like people are looking at me like Im a criminal at all times. Its the stink of prison that takes a little time to wash off and its still been too little time.
Right now, I have extreme anxiety about dealing with people whom I do not know or trust. Job interviews have been particularly stressful especially knowing that I have to go through background checks for just about every damned shit job out there now.
All this has culminated in a general feeling of just not wanting to deal with people whatsoever. And especially not putting myself out there and not letting anyone know too much about me, Im not proud of my past and I damn sure dont want to share that with strangers.
And dating? LMFAO! Not a chance. I just about break out laughing at the thought of some woman wanting much to do with a 40 some yr old ex-con without a good job.
I am after all, a realist.
And honestly Its not like Im some damned handsome bastard to begin with lol! Again my looks frighten the opposite sex, and I have been told I look like a biker (despite not owning a bike) or a serial murderer.
I dont know whether to be insulted or not with comments like that.
In fact before, and after I went to prison I two different hot girls showing me a ton of interest and I had to just ignore it because I didn't dare want to talk to them have either one of them find out about all my skeletons in my closet, and I felt like I would be wasting their time, which is something I will not do to another person.


Im much the same in the looks departmemt. Lots of intimidation, fear, judgement. Im fortunate that im moderately good looking otherwise nobody would talk to me for sure.

I dont mind, but who/what ive become is pretty polarized to an extreme. Not just looks but mindset, interaction, demeanor. I try to look happy and peaceful but i feel like im forcing it and not being myself. People still get uneasy anyway and i told i look too intense when im doing my best to seem kind and warm

OTH, you mention getting out, meeting ppl etc. I honestly have no desire to.

If a friend introduced me to a great girl, sweet, smart, cute, stable, sane, etc i dont think id be interested in any way. Once in a while maybe friends or a one night stand

I dont really want anything from anybody at all. Nor do/would i if it throws itself at me
 
Im much the same in the looks departmemt. Lots of intimidation, fear, judgement. Im fortunate that im moderately good looking otherwise nobody would talk to me for sure.

I dont mind, but who/what ive become is pretty polarized to an extreme. Not just looks but mindset, interaction, demeanor. I try to look happy and peaceful but i feel like im forcing it and not being myself. People still get uneasy anyway and i told i look too intense when im doing my best to seem kind and warm

OTH, you mention getting out, meeting ppl etc. I honestly have no desire to.

If a friend introduced me to a great girl, sweet, smart, cute, stable, sane, etc i dont think id be interested in any way. Once in a while maybe friends or a one night stand

I dont really want anything from anybody at all. Nor do/would i if it throws itself at me
Of course you don't. And if you're okay with that, then there's no problem. There's only a problem if it's causing you some discomfort. Maybe you don't want anything from anyone. Maybe you don't need anything from anyone.

Maybe though, someone needs something from you. Maybe you don't need anything from anyone but what about giving something to someone else or contribute to something or someone? Sometimes it's in giving that we receive.

I'm not putting any pressure on you and certainly you can do whatever you like. It's your life. Maybe some solitude is what you need right now. That won't last. People always gravitate back to the fold.

I'm not trying to guilt you into doing anything or worry you. No worries. You seem to not care but there's a page of you're writing above that says different. Just be careful not to burn any permanent bridges. You didn't always feel this way and you won't always feel this way.
 
What do you mean re: burning permanent bridges?

I question if i like who ive become over recent years. I have lifestyle changes to make and honestly i know im not living optimally.

I do really enjoy giving to others. It took me until last year to get it. I helped a neighbor move this week, always loaning out tools or helping hand. All of my (few) friends are similar to me in a lot of ways especially in this regard.

Historically, ive mostly fallen for girls that need help or could use guidance. I dont think thats a bad thing either. Maybe im wrong. Now that i think of it, the ones that didnt need my help and countered mine even better were the best relationships.

Anyway, i have a dog that is really cool and keeps me balanced. It gets boring i suppose and this summer will be a lot more social than this winter has been, but i sometimes wonder if ive done it all besides travel.

Due to a lot of bad/negative experiences ive become numb and theres no passion in anything anymore. I sometimes even miss feeling those stimulations because theres not much else on the earth that does the same thing. I dont think theres a happy medium in those worlds though, only a slippery slope

That's my paradox. Thanks for listening
 
Last edited:
What do you mean re: burning permanent bridges?

I question if i like who ive become over recent years. I have lifestyle changes to make and honestly i know im not living optimally.

I do really enjoy giving to others. It took me until last year to get it. I helped a neighbor move this week, always loaning out tools or helping hand. All of my (few) friends are similar to me in a lot of ways especially in this regard.

Historically, ive mostly fallen for girls that need help or could use guidance. I dont think thats a bad thing either. Maybe im wrong. Now that i think of it, the ones that didnt need my help and countered mine even better were the best relationships.

Anyway, i have a dog that is really cool and keeps me balanced. It gets boring i suppose and this summer will be a lot more social than this winter has been, but i sometimes wonder if ive done it all besides travel.

Due to a lot of bad/negative experiences ive become numb and theres no passion in anything anymore. I sometimes even miss feeling those stimulations because theres not much else on the earth that does the same thing. I dont think theres a happy medium in those worlds though, only a slippery slope

That's my paradox. Thanks for listening

I'm pretty much the same as you man, i always thought i was fucked up in the head because of these feelings. I haven't been with a girl in 3 years now, probably never will at this rate, I look disgusting in my 150lb frame, balding at the temples, i've messed things up with so many decent girls, just so i can have that empty, hallow feeling inside, that i'm so used to now. I've fucked up on purpose i think, my jobs, never finished degree, pushed everyone away in my life that actually cared about me, just so i can be a antisocial, recluse, i don't really want to be like this anymore though and i don't know how to help us out but there are more like us though
 
What do you mean re: burning permanent bridges?

I question if i like who ive become over recent years. I have lifestyle changes to make and honestly i know im not living optimally.

I do really enjoy giving to others. It took me until last year to get it. I helped a neighbor move this week, always loaning out tools or helping hand. All of my (few) friends are similar to me in a lot of ways especially in this regard.

Historically, ive mostly fallen for girls that need help or could use guidance. I dont think thats a bad thing either. Maybe im wrong. Now that i think of it, the ones that didnt need my help and countered mine even better were the best relationships.

Anyway, i have a dog that is really cool and keeps me balanced. It gets boring i suppose and this summer will be a lot more social than this winter has been, but i sometimes wonder if ive done it all besides travel.

Due to a lot of bad/negative experiences ive become numb and theres no passion in anything anymore. I sometimes even miss feeling those stimulations because theres not much else on the earth that does the same thing. I dont think theres a happy medium in those worlds though, only a slippery slope

That's my paradox. Thanks for listening
Burning bridges as in ending relationships with friends that can't be repaired. It doesn't sound like you're doing that though. When you have an inability to experience emotions, it's usually a chemical imbalance. If you're using steroids, it could be hormonal. Could be a lot of things. If you'd explain this to your doctor just as you have here, he'd write you a script immediately.
 
Ive had a very different life than a lot of people. things like dating or sexual conquest are so old and familiar to me that i have no desire. Im late 20s, healthy and enjoy a good porn vid but i turn down girls and women politely every time.



I have old friends that i call occasionally and a lot of my other friends have gotten married/gf/kids/career and dont have much time or desire to hang like we used to. Basically never.



I signed up for a few dating sites just to see whats out there. I find myself hitting 'next' the entire time. I meet and chat w women through work or randomness in life but only always under the assumption we'll never see each other again.



I 'friend zone' myself on purpose and i cant remember the last time ive pursued anybody. Sometimes i miss legit passion but im pretty numb and realize all the external factors first as to why re: fleeting romance



A lot of it is knowing that as a bit of an eccentric and out-of-the-box person, i have little to nothing in common with most people and they are more comfortable just being acquainted. im cool with that



I dont have a facebook profile. My closest friends and i just text or call pretty rarely. I dont have a tv, never have as an adult. I really dislike group thought and actions and generally just flank the 'crowd'



Being a very untraditional person, and based on experiences both personal and of friends/acquaintances ive come to hate the idea of marriage and even traditional relationships. Sometimes i feel the same about friendships with people i dont yet know well.



Sometimes i get bored. And of course sometimes lonely. But i cherish peace, freedom and solitude more than enough to make up for it



I dont want regrets, but i guess i cant regret something i didnt want anyway.



Since its a first question, i am currently depressed (seasonal, economic, genetic factors) but i have had these characteristics for a long time even those times that im really loving life



If this says anything, i havent had sex in 6 months and the last few times were with an old friend/flame. Im getting the feeling she wants more of life and to move on. So zero prospects now and no ambition.



Is anybody here similar?




1. You sound like an October Scorpio.

2. Don't even bother with thinking something is wrong with your "wiring". Personally, I find average American women to be intellectually vacant socialites (not all, but it's so rampant in the public "pool"... Hard not to be despondent)

3. I too have been on a few Dating Sites. "Next" is the most used button for me. All I have to read is "... Love to laugh" or the "...living life to the fullest"(all the while, pic shows her with a drink in hand) , or other ad nauseum comments that are so cut-and -paste. Rarely do I find one in 100 that combine looks, prose, posture and other qualities into one thought provoking package.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Last edited:
What you gentlemen are describing is a very common treatable condition. I see no pathology here. A sociopath would likely not feel lonely nor would they question whether or not they are sociopathic in nature. A sociopath would have no feelings at all on the matter and commonly and sometimes inadvertently causes harm to others emotionally or physically because they lack sympathy and/or empathy.



I think you guys are just part of a growing group of people that are simply antisocial by choice and feel quite alienated on this crazy rock. Well, it's not totally by choice because the very nature of the direction of our society actually creates alienation. Many people no longer even know their own neighbors.



The feelings of alienation are soooo common and I assure you, you are quite sane. You need to exercise some social experience though. Join a group, get involved in something. Something rewarding that you can see the good you are doing. This is a very ill planet and there is plenty of room for you make it well.



You will find it feels much better to treat it than be a part of it.



Taking the first step though.... not easy.




... As usual, I enjoy Ouch's wide spectrum, yet duly poignant perspective.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
1. You sound like an October Scorpio.

2. Don't even bother with thinking something is wrong with your "wiring". Personally, I find average American women to be intellectually vacant socialites (not all, but it's so rampant in the public "pool"... Hard not to be despondent)

3. I too have been on a few Dating Sites. "Next" is the most used button for me. All I have to read is "... Love to laugh" or the "...living life to the fullest"(all the while, pic shows her with a drink in hand) , or other ad nauseum comments that are so cut-and -paste. Rarely do I find one in 100 that combine looks, prose, posture and other qualities into one thought provoking package.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Dood I see you have been to some of the same places I frequent lol.

Its amazing these women, who type up these profiles as if they are the best fucking thing since sliced bread. You read through the profiles like that and I stop and laugh, asking out loud...' oh yeah? then why are you fucking single and lonely bitch?"
 
Dood I see you have been to some of the same places I frequent lol.



Its amazing these women, who type up these profiles as if they are the best fucking thing since sliced bread. You read through the profiles like that and I stop and laugh, asking out loud...' oh yeah? then why are you fucking single and lonely bitch?"


Oh... Here's my all time favorite. The women with 3 or more kids. Looking for their soul mate, but "... If you don't understand my kids come first, don't bother responding to my ad."

If it's true that the kids come first, then in order to find that perfect man, they will, out of necessity, have to temporarily take second place to the man she's courting. Otherwise, they will end up with a second rate step dad... And wasn't that the issue from the start???


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Oh... Here's my all time favorite. The women with 3 or more kids. Looking for their soul mate, but "... If you don't understand my kids come first, don't bother responding to my ad."

If it's true that the kids come first, then in order to find that perfect man, they will, out of necessity, have to temporarily take second place to the man she's courting. Otherwise, they will end up with a second rate step dad... And wasn't that the issue from the start???


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

As usual they want their cake and eat it too.
I had a profile that explained I wasn't looking for any serious relationships, not even casual sex...women, who seem to always bitch and complain about men not reading their profiles sent me lewd messages and talked to me like I hadnt written a thing.
SO I turned around and re-wrote the whole thing basically laying out that I wanted to be left alone and if I want to talk to you Ill email you.

Well I dont think I need to tell you what happened...my email must have trippled.
Give me one woman with a brain in her head to not act so typical.
 

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