- Joined
- Feb 25, 2012
- Messages
- 771
Well the title explains it all. I find myself isolating myself from my self, friends, relationships, work. I tend to indulge in a destructive behavior that I know has destroyed certain relationships, personal self happiness, and a feeling of being lost and hopeless. I've come from a hard background from childhood, my mother and father were not role models but heroine addicts, alcoholics, drug abusers, they were not married and my father was literally in jail when I was born and my mother had me in a shelter at the age of 16, my grandmother took me away from my own mother and basically kidnapt me at a very early age and she wasn't a good role model either with her destructive mental abuse, physical abuse, verbal assault, and literally she was just on psychochotic woman.
Even though I overcame my obstacles of my past and became a successful contributing member of society, served in the military for over 16 yrs, multiple combat tours in the middle east, I was even injured in combat and as a result I have a TBI, PTSD, few broken bones, fractures and few other issues as well. I have a career, earn a decent living, have nice things, house, toys, etc so technically I didn't do that bad after all. I didn't choose to follow any of my family or parents path. However, I have notice that I suffer from "Self Pity" I tend to feel sorry for myself, my past, my unfortunate circumstances in life misfortunes, guilt from surviving the war, I dwell in the past that I tend to revisit often. I never have been known to have a "perfect" relationship and basically ALL of the relationships that I've been known to have, well I tend to fucked them up.
Insecurity, self doubt, pity has ruined many aspects of my life and now that I sit in front of this computer at 2:51am in the morning I came to realize that I suffer from "Self Pity" to some degree. My fiancé told me one day that I need to stop feeling for myself, friends have done the same as well. I am seeking professional help, purchasing a few books about the topic and I am willing to do something to stop this madness, because this isn't life but a living hell...
Has anyone dealt with this before? How did it manifest on you? What did you do? I am seeking guidance because I seriously need it... :banghead:
Thanks in advance~
Even though I overcame my obstacles of my past and became a successful contributing member of society, served in the military for over 16 yrs, multiple combat tours in the middle east, I was even injured in combat and as a result I have a TBI, PTSD, few broken bones, fractures and few other issues as well. I have a career, earn a decent living, have nice things, house, toys, etc so technically I didn't do that bad after all. I didn't choose to follow any of my family or parents path. However, I have notice that I suffer from "Self Pity" I tend to feel sorry for myself, my past, my unfortunate circumstances in life misfortunes, guilt from surviving the war, I dwell in the past that I tend to revisit often. I never have been known to have a "perfect" relationship and basically ALL of the relationships that I've been known to have, well I tend to fucked them up.
Insecurity, self doubt, pity has ruined many aspects of my life and now that I sit in front of this computer at 2:51am in the morning I came to realize that I suffer from "Self Pity" to some degree. My fiancé told me one day that I need to stop feeling for myself, friends have done the same as well. I am seeking professional help, purchasing a few books about the topic and I am willing to do something to stop this madness, because this isn't life but a living hell...
Has anyone dealt with this before? How did it manifest on you? What did you do? I am seeking guidance because I seriously need it... :banghead:
Thanks in advance~