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Self destructive ego?

ENJOYLIFE88

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Nov 19, 2013
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206
First let me apologize for making this story so long but if I leave out details it will be a clusterfuck. I will try to summarize the story in the shortest way I can

- Hook up with a chick two months ago I met off instagram,...met her at a club she invites me back to her place, banged her the first night I met her. her name was ashley. Im funny about chicks who put out on the first date, so I Never called her back.

found a girl who I thought was more relationship material who I had been talking to previously...her name is Jenny. Unlike ashley who gave it up to me in a month, Jenny made me work for it and earned my respect.
-
Jenny was asking me about previous relationships, I brought up Ashley Idont know why I just brought her up. . she asked for a picture, so my dumbass showed her a picture of ashley.

- Fast forward three weeks, she sees a guy posting a picture of a chick on "women crush wednesday" drooling over some girl she recognized. . turns out it was Ashley. (the chick I banged two months ago) So my current gf calls me up tlling me she found ashleys instagram...

the guy who posted the picture of ashley....turns out Jenny went out with this guy once apparently, but said there wasn't any chemistry and that she kissed him but she didn't have sex with him. Here I am feeling like a million bucks, because this guy that tried to get at my gf months ago who my gf may of had feelings for at the time.....is drooling over one of my one night stands. Only reassuring my gf that I am the superior man..

I mean lets keep it real, if you have a one night stand with a chick, and you see a guy in a relationship with that chick at a bar that night with your former "whore" on his arm...he is a joke to you. And My deepest fear is being "that guy". So...I usually break up with chicks in fear of this happening to me.

The girl Im dating now, is great....she earned my respect by making me work for her. But there is a part of me, a small part of me...that can't help but feel like a sucker for investing emotional effort into a chick who may of had some one night stand with a guy. I mean as great as she is, she is human after all....

I recognize that this is a flaw, but Im on a board with a bunch of narcistic guys with big egos as well aren't I? so I can't be the only guy who has trouble accepting his girlfriends past?

my friends say "shes with you now so it shouldn't matter"
" she didn't know you at the time, so why would you care"

yeah yeah.:rolleyes:

Im not dumb enough to ask about my go's sexual past. But If I ever found out she had a one night stand with a guy.. Id dump her ass. Im not an idiot though Im sure she has she is human after all.

Im fucked up...I get it. And Tren only seems to make my paranoia worse. but please tell me Im not the only fucked up guy on here? It would be comforting to know that Im not.
 
Your logic and reasoning is male, and its not uncommon..at least I dont think so.
Its also young mans logic.
You will eventually not care about any of that stuff.

What WILL matter is who you are with, the person's chemistry with you and how you feel about her.
I dont care if the girl Im with slept with a 1000 doods, so Im 1001.
Point is all this you posted, in 10-15 years you will think to yourself, who cares?
Just so long as you dont get an STD and you meet someone you respect and respects you.
 
Ajdos is right on. I was that way even just a few years ago, but it just changed. No I could care less about the stuff I use to. Life is much easier now for sure.
 
A one night stand isn't a projection of a woman's worth. Sometimes it just means they weren't right for each other. Also isn't a sign that she got used or played. She's a grown woman and they have their own sexual needs too.

I totally get what you're saying tho but you can't live in the past. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
 
Stop worrying so much. Unless you're dating a virgin any girl has had her pussy beat up by another guy, that's a sad fact. Probably by a dude with a bigger dick than you. It doesn't make what you have with them any less relevant.

If my girl knew the disgusting things I've done to other women she wouldn't be able to kiss me on the mouth!
 
I still on a rare occasion let my wife's history mess with my head. And hell she was a virgin when we married. Yes...she was. But still just all the typical high school messing around gets to me every once in a while. And she only messed with two guys before me, because we started dating after her sophomore year. Been together ever since then. Married 17 years. I just have to tell myself its in the past and it was before we were together.

But I think your thoughts are common among men. But like the above poster said...she probably has had sex before you, its just common fact. If I were you I would not ask about it. But, then again you will probably always wonder.
 
I find it ironic that you call a one night stand a whore, but seem to think you're different for doing the same thing. :confused: Also, as far as your present girl sleeping with that other guy. She told you she didn't. Why are you doubting her? If you think she is not telling you the truth, why stay with her? That isn't fair to her. If you don't believe her, you're already building and developing a relationship that ISN'T based on trust. If you don't trust her, here's the path you're going to go down:

1. You're going to start to question every little thing she says to you
2. You'll start going around behind her back and snooping
3. You'll start accusing her of things simply because you are feeling insecure.
4. You'll end up alone and blame her for your own issues or she'll stay with you and be so worried about how you react she'll be constantly second guessing herself and never feel free enough to truly be herself with you and hide some of the most amazing and beautiful parts of her personality and spirit from you and maybe even, eventually share that part with someone else who makes her feel comfortable and lets her be herself.

On the other hand, you are at least mature enough to realize that your thought process in this situation is a bit backwards, so I give you kudos for that. We all have insecurities, which is exactly what this emotionally driven thought process stems from. The key is to decide whether or not you are going to control your thoughts and emotions or let them control you.

You're also very wrong about this board. Those of us who have actual life experience and have matured are not narcissistic guys with big egos. If we were, we wouldn't take the time to answer and try to help other people.
 
Everyone is right man. It's a common thought. But think if you gf new about your one night stands or thought the same as you. Would you want her to dump your ass over something so small
 
ldog40, my man!
I swear that you and I must be somehow connected on the same brainwave :D
I was going to say pretty much word for word what you said!
We, as men, tend to hold ourselves to a different standard than we do women. If we have a threesome, we are heroes. If a girl does, she's a gutter slut. We have a one night stand, playa play on. If she does it, she's a whore. What people have done in the past is just that, the past. It's history and nothing will change it. I've been married for 4.5 years and I don't like that my wife had slept with other people before me, but I did too. It's the past and in now way defines or affects our marriage.
OP, when you get older and your ego gets deflated, you'll see where we are coming from. Like ldog said, you have this board all wrong brother
 
I still on a rare occasion let my wife's history mess with my head. And hell she was a virgin when we married. Yes...she was. But still just all the typical high school messing around gets to me every once in a while. And she only messed with two guys before me, because we started dating after her sophomore year. Been together ever since then. Married 17 years. I just have to tell myself its in the past and it was before we were together.

But I think your thoughts are common among men. But like the above poster said...she probably has had sex before you, its just common fact. If I were you I would not ask about it. But, then again you will probably always wonder.

your girl has only been with two guys and your complaining brother:D Your very lucky. In this day and age with tinder, dating mobile appointments, snap chat it's so easy for a chick to sleaze around without getting caught.

really at this point .as long as the number was no more than 5 I wouldn't give a shit. But there are 5 I already know about..6 if you include me..give me less than 10. Is that really so much to ask? . .odds aren't exactly in my favor.
 
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I find it ironic that you call a one night stand a whore, but seem to think you're different for doing the same thing. :confused: Also, as far as your present girl sleeping with that other guy. She told you she didn't. Why are you doubting her? If you think she is not telling you the truth, why stay with her? That isn't fair to her. If you don't believe her, you're already building and developing a relationship that ISN'T based on trust. If you don't trust her, here's the path you're going to go down:

1. You're going to start to question every little thing she says to you
2. You'll start going around behind her back and snooping
3. You'll start accusing her of things simply because you are feeling insecure.
4. You'll end up alone and blame her for your own issues or she'll stay with you and be so worried about how you react she'll be constantly second guessing herself and never feel free enough to truly be herself with you and hide some of the most amazing and beautiful parts of her personality and spirit from you and maybe even, eventually share that part with someone else who makes her feel comfortable and lets her be herself.

On the other hand, you are at least mature enough to realize that your thought process in this situation is a bit backwards, so I give you kudos for that
. We all have insecurities, which is exactly what this emotionally driven thought process stems from. The key is to decide whether or not you are going to control your thoughts and emotions or let them control you.

You're also very wrong about this board. Those of us who have actual life experience and have matured are not narcissistic guys with big egos. If we were, we wouldn't take the time to answer and try to help other people.

Thanks. Yeah I admit I have issues I've seen more cheating than most guys my age. . I worked as a bouncer for a few months and seeing women who I knew were married leave with different guys every weekend..

I was also on my way back to Las Vegas when my best friend got a call from his gf while she was being plowed by another guy on speaker phone.

Seeing another one of your friends have a miscarriage with a girl, and her getting pregnant by his friend shortly after......IVe also been with girls who have had boyfriends. (I would never do anything with a girl knowing she had a bf but I found out later in most cases) I've just seen too much, I don't think I'll ever be able to trust women at this point.
 
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your girl has only been with two guys and your complaining brother:D Your very lucky. In this day and age with tinder, dating mobile appointments, snap chat it's so easy for a chick to sleaze around without getting caught.

really at this point .as long as the number was no more than 5 I wouldn't give a shit. But there are 5 I already know about..6 if you include me..give me less than 10. Is that really so much to ask? . .odds aren't exactly in my favor.

Yes, she and I were raised in church and went to a private christian school. And she didn't even sleep with the two guys. In fact she just dated them and I think your typical high school fondling.
 
Thanks. Yeah I admit I have issues I've seen more cheating than most guys my age. . I worked as a bouncer for a few months and seeing women who I knew were married leave with different guys every weekend..

I was also on my way back to Las Vegas when my best friend got a call from his gf while she was being plowed by another guy on speaker phone.

Seeing another one of your friends have a miscarriage with a girl, and her getting pregnant by his friend shortly after......IVe also been with girls who have had boyfriends. (I would never do anything with a girl knowing she had a bf but I found out later in most cases) I've just seen too much, I don't think I'll ever be able to trust women at this point.


Is that your woman in your avatar?
 
I find it ironic that you call a one night stand a whore, but seem to think you're different for doing the same thing. :confused: Also, as far as your present girl sleeping with that other guy. She told you she didn't. Why are you doubting her? If you think she is not telling you the truth, why stay with her? That isn't fair to her. If you don't believe her, you're already building and developing a relationship that ISN'T based on trust. If you don't trust her, here's the path you're going to go down:

1. You're going to start to question every little thing she says to you
2. You'll start going around behind her back and snooping
3. You'll start accusing her of things simply because you are feeling insecure.
4. You'll end up alone and blame her for your own issues or she'll stay with you and be so worried about how you react she'll be constantly second guessing herself and never feel free enough to truly be herself with you and hide some of the most amazing and beautiful parts of her personality and spirit from you and maybe even, eventually share that part with someone else who makes her feel comfortable and lets her be herself.

On the other hand, you are at least mature enough to realize that your thought process in this situation is a bit backwards, so I give you kudos for that. We all have insecurities, which is exactly what this emotionally driven thought process stems from. The key is to decide whether or not you are going to control your thoughts and emotions or let them control you.

You're also very wrong about this board. Those of us who have actual life experience and have matured are not narcissistic guys with big egos. If we were, we wouldn't take the time to answer and try to help other people.

^^^ yeah, all of that!!! Not just to you OP but for myself and my current fucked up mentality and situation I have gotten myself in to with my wife. Bottom line is you can't let you emotions get the best of you, which is what I did and now I have to make it right. :banghead::banghead: Such a dumb ass :banghead::banghead: (me not you OP)
 
Let me just sum it up simply for you, OP.

**broken link removed**
 
Only reassuring my gf that I am the superior man..

I mean lets keep it real, if you have a one night stand with a chick, and you see a guy in a relationship with that chick at a bar that night with your former "whore" on his arm...he is a joke to you.


I tip my fedora to you, alpha male
 

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I mean lets keep it real, if you have a one night stand with a chick, and you see a guy in a relationship with that chick at a bar that night with your former "whore" on his arm...he is a joke to you. And My deepest fear is being "that guy". So...I usually break up with chicks in fear of this happening to me.


People always think other people are just like them. Maybe if you quit being a fucking whore you won't be so paranoid that your girl is a whore. I mean what does it say about a girl if shes with a whore like you??


In all reality its only fucking sex dude, sure everyone likes the FANTASY that they are the only ones their partner has ever fucked. LOL, Who gives a fuck.
 

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