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Who's in the wrong here? (Wedding palnning)

Goody

Active member
Registered
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
994
My fiancé and I have been planning an Oct. 2015 wedding.
Finally found a place we love, most importantly her parents can afford and booked it for Oct. 9th, the only date still available in oct or nov.
Problem is my mom and dad said they had a road trip type vacation on oct. 10th.
4-5 days in NC..7 hour road trip, no biggie. I figure they push it back a day if they have too. vacation time at work is not a problem with either of them

I call my Mom today to tell her the date and she flipped out about how it was her day, her vacation etc. etc...
Come to learn her and my dad were planning on meeting my sister and her rich surgeon boyfriend of two years there cause he will be there for some big surgeons gala.
Lots of black tie affairs, that kinda shit.
So now neither my sister or parents are coming to our wedding so they can be in NC at some surgeons gala with my sister and her boyfriend...
Been blowing up my phone with all kinds of guilt trips about how selfish I am, how its all about me...etc. etc...
Am I fucking crazy here?
Shouldn't a wedding of your brother and son take precedence over something like that? What the fuck is going here?
 
I think if it was my Mom I would get another date for my wedding.
Perhaps you could find another place that everyone is happy with for your wedding.
 
My fiancé and I have been planning an Oct. 2015 wedding.

Finally found a place we love, most importantly her parents can afford and booked it for Oct. 9th, the only date still available in oct or nov.

Problem is my mom and dad said they had a road trip type vacation on oct. 10th.

4-5 days in NC..7 hour road trip, no biggie. I figure they push it back a day if they have too. vacation time at work is not a problem with either of them



I call my Mom today to tell her the date and she flipped out about how it was her day, her vacation etc. etc...

Come to learn her and my dad were planning on meeting my sister and her rich surgeon boyfriend of two years there cause he will be there for some big surgeons gala.

Lots of black tie affairs, that kinda shit.

So now neither my sister or parents are coming to our wedding so they can be in NC at some surgeons gala with my sister and her boyfriend...

Been blowing up my phone with all kinds of guilt trips about how selfish I am, how its all about me...etc. etc...

Am I fucking crazy here?

Shouldn't a wedding of your brother and son take precedence over something like that? What the fuck is going here?


I'm with you bro. This is God willing your one big day that you will have once in your life. It's about you and her. I'm planning a wedding right now too and I know how important the right place can be after finding it. You shouldn't have to sacrifice anything for anyone. There will be plenty of galas in this guys career. How many weddings are you planning on having? How does your fiancé feel? I mean if you guys don't have your heart dead set on this place and day then sure maybe reconsider but if you do I say go for it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's not right and if you ask me they are being selfish. My fiancé agrees too. Nobody wants there parents to miss their wedding. I hope they realize they are the ones being selfish and reconsider. Congrats on your wedding bro and God Bless.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
This is you and your girl's big day. Explain the situation that there are no dates available...

Tell then you understand this is something they had been planning but had no idea of the magnitude of the trip. Tell them this is the most important day in your life and you want to share it with them. Tell them you will vacation with them in the future.

My fiancé and I are getting married May 30th and I can understand the issues you are having. Be calm and make sure you show them how important it is for them to be there. Don't play any guilt cards or pity me cards, just be real and be honest
 
There is no pleasing everyone with an event that large. There is always someone that wont be able to commit. You would go crazy trying to find a day that suits everyone...

Your parents trip is just that, a trip. This is something that can be done at a different time. Your wedding is not. This is a large milestone in your life and something that may only happen once.

If they choose a trip that can be postponed for another time, over your own wedding then I thats on them. And I personally would hold it against them but thats just me.
 
My fiancé and I have been planning an Oct. 2015 wedding.
Finally found a place we love, most importantly her parents can afford and booked it for Oct. 9th, the only date still available in oct or nov.
Problem is my mom and dad said they had a road trip type vacation on oct. 10th.
4-5 days in NC..7 hour road trip, no biggie. I figure they push it back a day if they have too. vacation time at work is not a problem with either of them

I call my Mom today to tell her the date and she flipped out about how it was her day, her vacation etc. etc...
Come to learn her and my dad were planning on meeting my sister and her rich surgeon boyfriend of two years there cause he will be there for some big surgeons gala.
Lots of black tie affairs, that kinda shit.
So now neither my sister or parents are coming to our wedding so they can be in NC at some surgeons gala with my sister and her boyfriend...
Been blowing up my phone with all kinds of guilt trips about how selfish I am, how its all about me...etc. etc...
Am I fucking crazy here?
Shouldn't a wedding of your brother and son take precedence over something like that? What the fuck is going here?

I would be pissed too but don't let this ruin the entire experience and the wedding itself because you're stuck on principal...Take a deep breath, think of your wife to be, and bury your anger...Change the date to the November date!
 
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Thx for the replies
Glad to see I'm not going crazy. I've spoken to a few other people trying to be as unbiased as possible and all have said that they are in the wrong.
My parents are masters at the guilt game. So good u start to believe it. They are getting more and more selfish in their old age, want nothing to do with family holidays and seeing their grandkids, take vacations over xmas, stuff like that. My sister is just like my mom.
She called my decision "callous" and "pathetic"
Said she would have gotten married in a McDonald's if that's the only place available when Our immediate family was available. (totally bullshit, she is a complete snob who only goes after guys with money so she doesn't have to work, current surgeon boyfriend is almost 60 and she's 34...Yep, one of those)
I'm kinda hurt that they are choosing to be with my sister and her hot shot boyfriend of not even two years rather than with their family at the wedding...I'm most upset for my young sons, they are so excited to b part of the ceremony and mom mom and pop pop won't b there to see them. Really sux
My mom texted me last night and said that it was my fault that she will look like a bad mother cause I had to have my wedding on the only day of the year she can't make it.. Can't make this shit up
It is what it is, if that's what they choose than so be it, they gotta live with that.
I'm moving on from their bullshit.
 
Yes I would be upset for sure. Do they have some kind of problem with your future wife?? I just don't get that.. It doesn't make sense that they would not want to at least drop by and pay there respects...
 
Yes I would be upset for sure. Do they have some kind of problem with your future wife?? I just don't get that.. It doesn't make sense that they would not want to at least drop by and pay there respects...

No, not at all! They love her! I was married once before to a total bitch and they didn't like her at all. Came to that one and even paid for a lot of it.
My fiancé is just incredible and they totally love her, they see how her love has made me a better person and father and she loves my boys like they were her own, simply amazing woman, but there not coming to the wedding and didn't offer to help out with expenses at all. I don't care about the money part at all but still it is strange to say the least.
Now my sister( whose a bitch) and my ex wife (whose a bitch)were great friends, so after my divorce my sister didn't talk to me for about three years
Didn't even pick up the phone while the divorce was happening to see if I was ok...and also would go in social media sites and slander the hell out of my current fiancé
Crazy shit Huh? I have a fucked up family. Don't know how I turned out halfway normal...
 
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen. 2:24

again in Matt. 19:5,6
 
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No, not at all! They love her! I was married once before to a total bitch and they didn't like her at all. Came to that one and even paid for a lot of it.
My fiancé is just incredible and they totally love her, they see how her love has made me a better person and father and she loves my boys like they were her own, simply amazing woman, but there not coming to the wedding and didn't offer to help out with expenses at all. I don't care about the money part at all but still it is strange to say the least.
Now my sister( whose a bitch) and my ex wife (whose a bitch)were great friends, so after my divorce my sister didn't talk to me for about three years
Didn't even pick up the phone while the divorce was happening to see if I was ok...and also would go in social media sites and slander the hell out of my current fiancé
Crazy shit Huh? I have a fucked up family. Don't know how I turned out halfway normal...

Yea see somethings up bro. Does your sister have more influence over your parents than you?? Is she more of your parents favorite?? In any case this is about you and your future wife. Big commitment spending the rest of your lives together in front of god and everybody... I think its a shame, IMO I think theres something going on there. The important thing is just to focus on the positive and have a good wedding. Keep your happy face on and don't make an issue out of it.
Ya know, it took my parents years to take down my exes pictures off the wall. My future girl was so fucking pissed. Theres was no pictures of her anywhere in there home. I had to have a talk with my parents and handle that. The point is maybe you need to sit down after the wedding and have a talk with your family
 
Damn, this thread took a wrong turn... Lol
Anyway, happy ending gents.
We were able to move the wedding back one weekend due to that date recently opening back up. All can attend, and everyone will b happy
Still fucked up my family would have choose their trip over the wedding but what can ya do, it is what it is
We're glad it all worked out
 
Yikes. First I want to say, you are definitely not crazy. I'm actually shocked to see a parent react that way. I know that their reaction must hurt you. If I were you Id take the time to tell them that. Hopefully it works out for the best bro. Good luck to you and your future bride no matter what happens.
 

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