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How do I get my wife to support my bodybuilding hobby?

seven7seven

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Feb 4, 2008
Messages
96
I know this has been discussed here before but not for several years, so I thought I'd start a new thread and let some newer member contribute.

I'm recently married and my wife, at best, tolerates my working out and eating habits. I cut back my weight workout from 4 days to 3 days a week after the wedding but still eat clean (lots of chicken, tuna, oatmeal, rice, shakes, etc.) for most of the week.

I hardly even talk about bodybuilding. I don't make it seem like I'm "depriving myself" because I won't get dessert or drink a beer most of time when we go out to dinner and I've never said we couldn't go somewhere or do something because of bodybuilding.

We do spend lots of time together. When I'm not at work or at the gym I'm with her. We will see my friends but usually we're together so it's not as if though I go out on my own a lot. I certainly don't.

Any advice for how I can get her to be more supportive or at least more tolerant of my working out? She did dabble in the gym before we met but hates the diet and has stopped training since the wedding. She said she'd want to go with me but when I suggest it she never follows through and comes.
 
does your gym offer yoga or spin classes or do you train at a hole in the wall where she would never feel comfortable with? what i do is train with my wife whenever she wants to train with me and i always do 1 or 2 spin classes a week with her.

works for us! :D
 
does your gym offer yoga or spin classes or do you train at a hole in the wall where she would never feel comfortable with? what i do is train with my wife whenever she wants to train with me and i always do 1 or 2 spin classes a week with her.

works for us! :D

It's a Gold's so yeah I'm sure they offer something like that.
 
It's a Gold's so yeah I'm sure they offer something like that.

that's great then let her ease into those classes and see how she likes it. and i bet once she get's in the groove she's gonna want them there muscles! ;)
 
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And here we go, another person's situation confirming my feelings of never wanting to get married... lol
 
And here we go, another person's situation confirming my feelings of never wanting to get married... lol

No shit lol. My girl and I have been together for 7 years and when people ask us "when are you getting married!?" We just say we are happy they way we are right now so why ruin a good thing lol.
 
And here we go, another person's situation confirming my feelings of never wanting to get married... lol

best decision of my life!

seriously bro, bodybuilding should compliment your life NOT consume it. there is life outside of muscles and if you ever want kids they rule all..period!
 
seven, maybe you and/or the whole gym thing just intimidates her, gives her feelings of inadequacy. Women are emotional creatures, hence most men don`t understand them. Even if she has, or at least says she has desire for the gym, maybe gets that uneasy feeling when its time to go and emotions override all in a woman (most times).

Emphasize the health benefits, sense of well being you get from it, it makes you happy, it releases chemicals that make you feel good... maybe she just hasnt found her niche she really likes. After my wife had our second kid, I emphasized she needed to "rehab" after the experience. During pregnancy the abs actually separate and that she needed to strengthen those, especially after having c-section. I said "imagine you broke a bone, they cut tissue open to bone, put in screws and you must do major rehab... same thing after they cut through your abs (and uterus)". That went a little off track, but my point is, I never said, you need to work out or you should go to the gym.
 
And here we go, another person's situation confirming my feelings of never wanting to get married... lol

I used to think that as well lol... Then I got married ;)

I will say this, she is very supportive and even helps with injects at times. She was against gear and all but I have shown her all the literature about gear, the good, the bad and the ugly. When I took the plunge she was nervous that I would "change" lol into some sort of roid rage monster. After the first cycle she noticed that nothing changed except my body lol (she also loved the teenager libido haha). I also reassure her (and myself) by doing blood work and showing her that everything is GTG.

The key is communication ;)
 
My wife doesn't mind... she knows that its my way of staying active... being a former fat ass, its my time to keep myself in good shape... She doesn't care for the competing thing too much (mainly the 16-20 weeks of dieting), but as for working out and eating clean and semi healthy, she is supportive. The best thing that i do is play the give and take game... she is letting me do this, so I will let her do (insert activity here). This has worked so far and I am not too upset about it... however, if she were to find out about the gear, well that'll be fun to explain... hahaha
 
best decision of my life!

seriously bro, bodybuilding should compliment your life NOT consume it. there is life outside of muscles and if you ever want kids they rule all..period!

Trust me bro, that bodybuilding does not consume my life at all, I can't speak for the OP but he seems like he has a pretty good balance on things.

Bodybuilding actually takes up the least amount of time in my life possible. I don't diet hard at all, ever, with the exception of a handful of weeks throughout the year, I'm in the gym 4x a week MAX when I'm consistent (haven't been to the gym in over a month because of my business and handling other situations), I'm social as hell, love to travel etc... I have a pretty good balance on life..

But my point was just how I see how OP describes it and how I see A LOT of couples, not everyone, but a lot conform and settle. I have my own expectations from myself and I'm very picky on myself and some might say I'm too picky for a partner and expect too much, but want what I want... Let me not say NEVER but I highly doubt it any time soon.

Just to put it in perspective OP'S wife use to work out and now doesn't want to even think about the gym, not only that but gets upset at his dedication to it, which is very mild considering some... So because you're married now it's ok to get fat and let it all go? Nah man, that's how people get divorced. It starts with the little things..
 
My wife doesn't mind... she knows that its my way of staying active... being a former fat ass, its my time to keep myself in good shape... She doesn't care for the competing thing too much (mainly the 16-20 weeks of dieting), but as for working out and eating clean and semi healthy, she is supportive. The best thing that i do is play the give and take game... she is letting me do this, so I will let her do (insert activity here). This has worked so far and I am not too upset about it... however, if she were to find out about the gear, well that'll be fun to explain... hahaha

That's my point of view as well: it's my way of staying active and healthy. I don't use gear either so it's not like she would have to get comfortable with that either. This should be a good thing, right?

I'm all for playing the give and take game with her. The problem is that she really doesn't have hobbies beyond trying to keep our house clean, eating, and wanting to do stuff with me. I think she thinks that since she's married 100% of her free time needs to be spent doing stuff with me her husband otherwise why be married?
 
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That's my point of view as well: it's my way of staying active and healthy. I don't use gear either so it's not like she would have to get comfortable with that either. This should be a good thing, right?

I'm all for playing the give and take game with her. The problem is that she really doesn't have hobbies beyond trying to keep our house clean, eating, and wanting to do stuff with me. I think she thinks that since she's married 100% of her free time needs to be spent doing stuff with me her husband otherwise why be married?

My sister-in-law is like that... its like my brother in law cant spend time with anyone else... also any celeb that he says is gorgeous or hot she calls her a slut... hahaha

I dont know what to tell you brother... maybe i am just lucky that my wife lets me do what i want (for the most part) and I let her do what she wants...
 
That's my point of view as well: it's my way of staying active and healthy. I don't use gear either so it's not like she would have to get comfortable with that either. This should be a good thing, right?

I'm all for playing the give and take game with her. The problem is that she really doesn't have hobbies beyond trying to keep our house clean, eating, and wanting to do stuff with me. I think she thinks that since she's married 100% of her free time needs to be spent doing stuff with me her husband otherwise why be married?

What you just wrote in that 2nd paragraph......... Would make me want to kill myself lol
 
Why can't you have your interests and she have hers? Hey babe, going to the gym. Enjoy cleaning, cooking, and laundry while I'm gone.

But seriously, tell her to find something to do. Sounds like shes bored and feels left out.
 
I say, just you keep doing you and either she'll come around and join in, com around and stop busting your balls about it, or she won't.

Either way you're setting a very important boundary and showing her that you care about yourself and your health, and that your mission and goals in life are YOURS and not negotiable.

Even if it pisses her off, deep down the stability of an unwavering man who sticks to his decisions and convictions turns them on.

PLUS, you keeping yourself in good shape will keep her motivated to not let herself go too bad. A woman who's invested in the relationship will (generally) put in enough effort to try to keep herself in the same realm of attractiveness as her husband. She'll reason that if you're in good shape and she lets herself go you have the looks to find someone better.

Or, you can stop working out and eating well, watch her attraction for you wane because you A: Are a pushover who gives in when bitched at and B: Start looking like shit. Oh yeah, if you do this she'll probably let herself go too.
 
1.- they lose all interest in going to the gym/fitness center

2.- they put on 50 LBS

3.- worst of all...the blowjobs go away



you are doomed........
 
1.- they lose all interest in going to the gym/fitness center

2.- they put on 50 LBS

3.- worst of all...the blowjobs go away



you are doomed........

2 confirmations in one thread..... Awesome lol
 
I know this has been discussed here before but not for several years, so I thought I'd start a new thread and let some newer member contribute.

I'm recently married and my wife, at best, tolerates my working out and eating habits. I cut back my weight workout from 4 days to 3 days a week after the wedding but still eat clean (lots of chicken, tuna, oatmeal, rice, shakes, etc.) for most of the week.

I hardly even talk about bodybuilding. I don't make it seem like I'm "depriving myself" because I won't get dessert or drink a beer most of time when we go out to dinner and I've never said we couldn't go somewhere or do something because of bodybuilding.

We do spend lots of time together. When I'm not at work or at the gym I'm with her. We will see my friends but usually we're together so it's not as if though I go out on my own a lot. I certainly don't.

Any advice for how I can get her to be more supportive or at least more tolerant of my working out? She did dabble in the gym before we met but hates the diet and has stopped training since the wedding. She said she'd want to go with me but when I suggest it she never follows through and comes.



but seriously.. I bolded the part of your OP that I found to be the most telling.


funny how that works huh?

swapped the rings now time to pull the ripcord and inflate into a life raft.




she is shit-testing you, and by reducing the amount of time you're spending in the gym, you're failing. you should not have to ask your woman for her permission for anything, much less for her approval for something that makes you better as a person.

id go back to lifting 4 days a week. you're allowed to have 4 hours a week to do what you want.

women try to change their men, and once they've bended and molded them completely to their will, they leave (with 80% of his paycheck and sometimes lifetime alimony), saying "you're not the man I fell in love with".

well no shit, you were making the changes she said she wanted you to make.

women will want you to compromise, but will make absolutely no compromises themselves.


don't take the bait.
 

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