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Severe social awkwardness

AGutierrez1980

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Jun 13, 2015
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Kind of embarrassing but I've been really socially awkward since childhood.... likely both nature and nurture, I had very overprotective parents and wasn't allowed to interact much with other kids for probably until i was early 20's.

Mid 30's now and regardless of the cause, I find it really hard to interact with people. I stumble over my words a lot and get really anxious when having to make small-talk etc. and in general I just can't even think of what to talk about.
Honestly, this doesn't actually bother me that much since I can't of enjoy being a loner BUT in the work place I feel it has really held me back.

In my mid twenties I did take quite a bit of benzodiazapenes and it was night and day, not just the anxiety but my whole mood lifts, I actually get this really happy feeling and just want to talk and joke around etc. when I was on them. I'll still take them on occasion but obviously it's not something I can do regularly.

I've actually been through a lot of CBT therapy but don't feel it has done much. Putting myself out there in really high "people skill jobs" has shown me that I can survive, but it hasn't actually made the symptoms any better. I can cope.... but I'm tired of just coping, I want to enjoy being around people.

I guess I just want to vent, but am secretly hoping for advice if anyone's been through the same. And I'm reluctant to ask this but it's on the back of my mind, are there any non-habit forming substances that would give me a similar, if not milder, effect of benzos? Aside from gear and benzos I'm actually pretty straight-edge so I don't know much about that.

I do take TRT levels of test (175/wk), which help somewhat, but not nearly enough. I've though about low-dose tren as I feel that more aggression is actually something I need as I'm kind of a doormat and really afraid to speak up....

Please go easy on me with the last two paragraphs, I know substances aren't the answer but a lot of these questions are coming from someone who has lived almost half their life awkward, shy, bullied and at this point a bit desperate.
 
Zoloft is great for generalize social anxiety and its relatively safe, non habit forming. I would do some research on it and discuss it the doctor.
 
yeah, i take lexapro myself. i don't really have so much social anxiety, though. i think people just annoy me, mostly but i think the lexapro helps.
 
I've taken most SSRI and SNRI meds and didn't get much.... remoron did do wonders for my anxiety but I'm still just really timid, afraid to speak-up, i just don't feel like "one of the guys", i get just really intimidated and awkward.

Test actually helped more than SSRI's, but I'm still not in the mental state i want to be in. Sometimes I think I actually need an upper more than a downer.... as much as I have anxiety, my door-mat, timid, almost little girl like behavior (god that's embarrassing to admit) causes just as much problems.
 
Not saying this is a good alternative or a long term fix but adderall is known for helping this type of thing. It did wonders for me especially during presentations, social interactions, etc..


I'm sort of like that, could really give two shits about social interaction or what someone has to say unless the topic really interests me, then I could go back and fourth forever. Adderall has definitely helped in that regard. I work a very socially demanding corporate job where good people skills and being very vocal is key to success.
 
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You guys have any sude effects from ssris or zoloft and lexapro?
My doc said she would prescribe be that stuff but that the sides could be sexual dysfunction, which I didn't want to deal with so I passed.
 
i'm pretty certain the lex fucks with my sex drive/ED/ability to cum blahblah..but then again, i use test, am 45, not too sure where my e2 is @ the moment.
 
been there brother and still stick to myself a lot. only child, single mom and babysitter didnt speak english with other life events trust issues and trauma. starting seeing a therapist, psychiatrist and school counselor at 5 years old. CBT, DBT and even stuck in day treatment programs from 22-24. i feel everyone has a built in desire to connect with others but it can get warped by things that happen to us. i heard something and ran with it the best i knew how. fake it until you make it
 
Yea man I'm only 21 but I know what it's like. I've only ever had the courage to ask one girl out and she said no so yea.... I'm always really awkward and I'm terrified of talking to people. I mean I sweat when I have to checkout and buy something at the store just from having to talk to the cashier it's that bad. I'm not really sure on how to improve it as I have yet to find a solution to it. I guess a lot of it has to do with confidence and that whole thing like everyone says but I don't know.
 
Social Anxiety

Hi fellas,I been struggling with this too and I agree with all above comments ssri's not for me,tried lexapro.(felt out of it)...I take Adderall for adhd..from a doc it helps get work done.
I find it difficult to socialize with people I know well...but I am g2g with strangers,I don't wanna be around people I know....If I do hang with a group that knows me I get quite because after I go home,I will always analize all I said or did thinking they think I am weird or I said wrong thing..or talked to much.Adderall gives me enegy and mental booost to focus, but if nervous it dose not stop me from being a head runner(dad called me that as a child)it's embarassing..
What I have found helps alot....#1)Follow your breath meditation.I do it while I walk the beach,I live close.Can do it anywhere.Tune all else out and focus on your breath.#2)EFT and Matrix Reimprinting using EFT,By now your like who is this dude? tapping thats for women and children.I know how you Feel ,I Felt the same way,but here's what I have FOUND to be True about EFT.This has really helped me alot in life,by eliminating the negative energy,emotions and feelings associated with past trauma ie:(fight or flight energy
One picks up coping mechanisms like,sugar addiction, drug,alcohol,sex addict,porn..ect ect...when past pain is not healed.In my case adopted at 6mon. old I felt rejection in the womb...my parents were wealthy that had bought me from the agency,but not very affectionate.I smoked pot and drank till 5 years ago.I went through life till a year ago,angry,self centered,lacking any sense of humor,or direction or kindness.
I am doing better now,I take any negativity thrown my way and use it as fuel to find a Silver Linning,it takes work (eft) and being honest about what I want in Life.I saw results right away with tapping ,NLP takes longer.#3)Social Anxiety Solutionss pod cast ,is a great way to gain tools to overcome Social Anxiety.He interviews a different phycology expert each week..some EFT masters of energy healing and some western medical phyc's Dr.'s..great little resource.. I have gained some good tips.all free tips,only paid for matrix books on kindle,Eft stuff all over the net for free.youtube,eftuniverse.com do google search..
Thanks All the best,fellow hermit types!
Sorry for the run on senteces and misspelled words..
***Thanks to Big Al for the great sevice this place brings.I have read many of your article's thru the years visited many different sites you own and found the enormouse Value you bring to everyone blessed enuff to be a member in any of you biz sites or read one of you well written papers...you have truly found the secrete of sucess and happiness ,by freely giving people the tool's and info and opportunity to better themselves and continue to create value by learning from your methods weather diet,trainng or Biz matter's.You will never lack a place at the top in life,Big Al. A saint among saints God Bless you Bro.****
 
Look for local improv theatres in your area. Beginner acting classes might help as well. Even if it isn't something your remotely interested in, the environment will be different than anything you might be used to. Its a judge free zone. give it a shot goodluck :D
 
I have always had some form of social awkwardness at a young age, but I had extreme social awkwardness once I re-integrated out of military into society (coma-head injury). I am not recommending anything, but my situation greatly improved from smoking pot to calm myself and a daily meditation to remind myself of what is real and what was illusion. I found most of my awkwardness stemmed from my own thought processes. Others have mentioned clearing yourself of negative thoughts/emotions/energy which can not be stressed enough.
Now I do a lot of public speaking, teaching, and very socially accepted.
 
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Benzos are evil!!! Scotch, Bourbon, Tequila, a good sativa all way better in moderation of course.
 
Interesting point about a sativa.... I've only tried indica, which in theory should be better for anxiety, but that sluggish, couch-lock just makes me feel worse. I'm beginning to think a good, uplifting sativa might actually be better because....

All the benzos help, but clonazepam just turns me into a different person. I don't know why but I actually get a burst of energy from it, I feel euphoric and just laughing at everything, I literally just want to talk to everyone I see while on that.... hell I'll even walk around whistling and singing sometimes. I don't know why I react that way to that benzo and not to the others, but I actually react the same to certain pre-workouts..... in fact I've used the a few pre-workouts to calm my anxiety.... seems totally counter-intuitive but it seems some form of stimulation, or an upper, actually helps me more than sedatives.
 
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Try some kratom bro!!! Ive heard it helps in all sorts of situations!!

Im awkward now compared to how i use to be, i could talk to most people now id rather stay home then go anywhere, and not the life of the party like i use to be, perhaps its because my t is super low and ive yet to jump back on my trt? But before trt i was a hit!! Haha, now im a lot more like most of the guys in here and sorry i hate it for me, going to a psych soon, perhaps some sort of psyco therapy, what i want is hypno therapy where they put me out and fill my brain with all sorts of confidence and shit like that!


Sent from my IpP using tapatrash
 
Sativa strains are great. Kratom is great.

For me, I've been blasting and cruising test for not quite two years. First blast just cranked up my self confidence to the point that I feel calm and confident when cruising too. I was awkward and timid all my life, too.
 
I forgot to mention, look into tianeptine as well. It is a fantastic mood booster and anxiolytic. It was originally a prescription drug invented by a French company, marketed as Stablon. It's too old to patent in the States, and several companies have made it available in powder form.
 
You have an underlying social problem. Drugs will only mask that. You seem like you need more, like professional counselling. Then if they prescribe you something, at least you are getting help for the underlying problem.
 
Look up "johnny Berba" it's a cure for the stuff u are going through
 

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