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I need some advice/help more than ever

RoidRage300

Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
244
Hey guys. Idk where to post this, I just want replies cause I'm totally broken right now. I need to talk to level headed guys and that will help hopefully


My wife is leaving me. I'm 27, she is 22, it's Christmas night. We have been married for 1 year and a half.

She is my dream girl. I didn't think I'd ever land, let alone marry a women like her. She's not perfect, but neither am I. She is was I want, I do not want her to leave me. I feel like i need her love. We have so much fun and laughs together, she's very hot, and so sweet when she wants to be. I love her very much

This is what happened-
She has a TON of past relationship baggage. It's been affecting us since the first day we met. Her exs have lied to her for her whole life, they have been losers, cheater and drug addicts (there have been 2 exs)

This causes massive trust issues with us. She has never trusted me. And never will i am beginning to see. Iv never cheated on her, the absolute worst thing I have done is smoke weed a couple times, and a few cigarettes. She is very against this kind of thing. And is 99% of the reason she doesn't trust me (crazy right ??) she tells her self I'm always out trying to get fucked up and smoke....I drink like twice a year, and only smoke when I do that. I rarely smoke weed.

She's going out of town for a couple days with family, so I made movie plans with my brother (she hates him cause he smokes and is kinda a "low life" but he's a great guy truthfully. Well she found out and went ape shit. And is now leaving me, saying this is the icing on the cake.....she says she doesn't get excited when I txt her anymore, I'm going nowhere in life, and I'm very mentally dumb. I am extremely hurt by all this

I'm a good guy, treat her well, love her with all my heart. And now she's leaving me because she can't trust me ever she says....

Now does this sound as crazy as I think ? Am I being a total pussy letter her control me like this ? She acts like the smallest things are the end of the world...I also have suspicion that she is bipolar. Some of her family would agree with this.

Sorry for the ramble, it's very hard to put this into a single post. I just need help from my brothers on here. I feel like this is a crazy nightmare. But it's real. I love my wife and would gladly die for her. And I'd still stay with her if she doesn't leave. But how can anyone live like this?


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This is the most painful day of my life

Sorry guys


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She has lots of growing up to do and you need to man up and focus on yourself more. That's my opinions since you asked.
 
You need to get yourself together bro. By the way you describe it, the problem is with her, NOT you. You seem like a guy who's very attached, and seems to have a hard time looking at things rationally.

TRUST ME when I say this to you, there is no PERFECT person for you. Just a bunch of people that may be compatible. She seems like the kind that has trouble settling down, and due to her age is still a kid (mentally).

As cold, and sociopathic as this sounds, think it over, and see it's worth carrying out this relationship. When guys change for women, women tend to despise them for it. Grab a hold of your emotions, and make an adult decision. You'll only be on this planet for a few decades, and your life is far from over.


More truth to this than many would like to admit:

Women+logic+not+mine+no+shit_b7b0ed_3716528.jpg
 
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Give her a little time and space and see if she cools down a bit. I know it's scary and hurts, but maybe it's not as extreme as it feels in her head right now.
 
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You need to get yourself together bro. By the way you describe it, the problem is with her, NOT you. You seem like a guy who's very attached, and seems to have a hard time looking at things rationally.



TRUST ME when I say this to you, there is no PERFECT person for you. Just a bunch of people that may be compatible. She seems like the kind that has trouble settling down, and due to her age is still a kid (mentally).



As cold, and sociopathic as this sounds, think it over, and see it's worth carrying out this relationship. When guys change for women, women tend to despise them for it. Grab a hold of your emotions, and make an adult decision. You'll only be on this planet for a few decades, and your life is far from over.





More truth to this than many would like to admit:



Women+logic+not+mine+no+shit_b7b0ed_3716528.jpg


Thanks bro. Yes i am very attached. I put way too much of my happiness in her. And now it feels like I have nothing.

Deep down i know it's her I suppose. But at the same time i don't care, I just want her to love me like I do her....

Im tryin to pull it together. I just didn't see this coming at all and it's Christmas on top of it. This + EQ is killing my blood pressure right now lol



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Give her a little time and space and see if she cools down a bit. I know it's scary and hurts right now, but maybe it's not as extreme as it feels in her head right now.


She will be back on Monday. Guess I'll know then...although if this is how it going to be, I don't know if I should even stay. I want to, but at what cost?


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Thanks bro. Yes i am very attached. I put way too much of my happiness in her. And now it feels like I have nothing.

Deep down i know it's her I suppose. But at the same time i don't care, I just want her to love me like I do her....

Im tryin to pull it together. I just didn't see this coming at all and it's Christmas on top of it. This + EQ is killing my blood pressure right now lol



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Love yourself, she'll love you for it.

Also get the BP in check...It's far more important :headbang:
 
Brother pick your fucking head up right now to start! My advice is to let her go for right now. Give u and her both some space. Then ask yourself do I really want a girl that isn't let me gonna hang out with my own brother whether he is a loser or not. Nobody would come between me and my brother. And my wife would never ask me too! Also maybe a little time apart might make you guys both realize the grass ain't that much greener on the other side. But once woman get something in their mind nothing u say is gonna change their mind. Sometimes the best thing is to act like u don't give a shit anymore. When a woman sees they ain't running the show and your not chasing them around begging them to stay a lot of the time that's when they come crawling back! And also get the hell off the weed and get your shit together
 
Brother pick your fucking head up right now to start! My advice is to let her go for right now. Give u and her both some space. Then ask yourself do I really want a girl that isn't let me gonna hang out with my own brother whether he is a loser or not. Nobody would come between me and my brother. And my wife would never ask me too! Also maybe a little time apart might make you guys both realize the grass ain't that much greener on the other side. But once woman get something in their mind nothing u say is gonna change their mind. Sometimes the best thing is to act like u don't give a shit anymore. When a woman sees they ain't running the show and your not chasing them around begging them to stay a lot of the time that's when they come crawling back! And also get the hell off the weed and get your shit together


Thanks man, you are right


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this is a blessing

you just dont realize it yet.


wait until your 40 and look back at this.
 
this is a blessing



you just dont realize it yet.





wait until your 40 and look back at this.


Good point.

Maybe the writing has been on the wall for a long time....I just refused to read it


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From the choices she has made in her past boyfriends you can tell that there is an inherent problem. She can't have a nice guy brother. Not to mention she's way too young. You will find a prettier, smarter girl that appreciates you. It may not feel like it now but that's a promise. Like aristocrat said, you're gonna look back at this even a year from now and laugh about it.

Keep your hormones in check and this will go much smoother as well. Keep your test levels stable and estrogen in check.
 
From the choices she has made in her past boyfriends you can tell that there is an inherent problem. She can't have a nice guy brother. Not to mention she's way too young. You will find a prettier, smarter girl that appreciates you. It may not feel like it now but that's a promise. Like aristocrat said, you're gonna look back at this even a year from now and laugh about it.



Keep your hormones in check and this will go much smoother as well. Keep your test levels stable and estrogen in check.


Thanks man.

All these responses have really helped bring me back down to earth and calm down a bit.




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i wet through the same shit


i was in a panic for about a year

so you must realize the actual relationship is over


grasp that concept first once that becomes clear you would probably never get into a " serious " relationship again.

life is too damn good and short to have a ball and chain attached to your leg.

focus on gym and your career.
 
You know she doesn't like it when you smoke but you do it anyways, I mean how would you like it if she did something you didn't like and she started doing it and perhaps lied about it and you caught her , that would make you suspicious and perhaps give you some trust issues about her right? Granted this is over weed I still think it's the principal that counts. Always try to put yourself in the other persons shoes and try to argue against yourself so you can come up with valid points , especially in relationships, I digress.


If she REALLY thinks your not going anywhere in life and doesn't get excited when you txt her or talk to her and has trust issues this bad already than I'm sorry to say this but IMO your relationship is over and if you even think about getting back with her or kissing her ass , than you're wasting your time and will get burned again in the future and it will hurt even more because you will look back at it and think why did I waste this much time with her and that you should have ended it when this incident came up.

YOU feel like shes perfect and no other woman will treat you this way and that you wont have the same connection but TRUST ME , you will find someone! This is what makes break ups so hard is because you think you found the golden woman and no others are like her but when you ask someone who has been through this and found another woman they will tell you the same thing, THERE ARE PLENTY OF GIRLS OUT THERE, that will be just as fulfilling or perhaps even more! I know this has happened to me and right now I'm with a wonderful woman who is wayyyy better than the last ones :)
 
You know she doesn't like it when you smoke but you do it anyways, I mean how would you like it if she did something you didn't like and she started doing it and perhaps lied about it and you caught her , that would make you suspicious and perhaps give you some trust issues about her right? Granted this is over weed I still think it's the principal that counts. Always try to put yourself in the other persons shoes and try to argue against yourself so you can come up with valid points , especially in relationships, I digress.





If she REALLY thinks your not going anywhere in life and doesn't get excited when you txt her or talk to her and has trust issues this bad already than I'm sorry to say this but IMO your relationship is over and if you even think about getting back with her or kissing her ass , than you're wasting your time and will get burned again in the future and it will hurt even more because you will look back at it and think why did I waste this much time with her and that you should have ended it when this incident came up.



YOU feel like shes perfect and no other woman will treat you this way and that you wont have the same connection but TRUST ME , you will find someone! This is what makes break ups so hard is because you think you found the golden woman and no others are like her but when you ask someone who has been through this and found another woman they will tell you the same thing, THERE ARE PLENTY OF GIRLS OUT THERE, that will be just as fulfilling or perhaps even more! I know this has happened to me and right now I'm with a wonderful woman who is wayyyy better than the last ones :)


I agree, however she can do whatever she wants. And I was just talking about a few cigarettes a couple times a year, when drinking. The weed thing is rare and she doesn't even know I smoke it when I do. It wasn't a problem when we got together, theN Suddenly it's a huge problem. It's just crazy that it's worth a divorce to her.

It kills me because i know I treat women very good. She doesn't see it in me.

Maybe I do have to move on




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Feeling better....

Although the answer seems clear to me...if she does come back, should I even take her...


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