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Got sick, lost my routine, pretty miserable.

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Got bit by a tick over a year ago, didn't think much of it. Turned out I contracted Babesiosis and lymes disease (what luck right). Anyway, it's been a pretty brutal experience for me. Spent 26 days in the hospital and then another few months of recovery from it.
Thought I was coming down with a cold, it kept getting a little worse each day. Best way I can describe it was having the flu but with really sore joint and muscle pain. Then the fever started up 101, 102, 103, ect. Tylenol brought it down, then it came back up. That went on for several days until (unaware to me) I was brought by ambulance to the ER and awoke 2 days later looking like the matrix. Thank God somebody was home or who knows what would have happened. I went to bed and just didn't wake up.

That's in the past now.
I want to get back into my routine but I can't seem to get myself motivated and it fucking sucks.
I don't wanna blame the illness, I know it's just the shape I'm in physically, hormonally and mentally that's causing my problems. I've lost too much muscle to even talk about, the doctors took me off my HRT injections 9 months ago (after my second blood transfusion) so I'm dealing with a very low T issue on top of everything else. Even with all the physical and mental damage done to my body it's not what's concerning me the most. Im just tired all the time, I'm short tempered with my wife, even distancing myself a lot from my kids. A year ago my life revolved around them and now it's like I've lost all interest in everything I loved and lived for.
I've tried countless times to get back to the gym, it seems hopeless to me. I always felt better after a good workout but now I can't even get any sort of workout in. I hit the gym, hopped up on energy drinks and motivational tapes and 10 minutes in I'm ready to leave. Muscles shaking, completely exhausted I walk out to the car even more depressed then when I walked in. I tell myself there's light on the horizon. Since my doctors being a bit of dick and tells me it's best for my recovery to keep my body clean. I've taken matters into my own hands and have a couple of vials on the way. I'm not going balls deep into anything, just 125mg wk to start. I do worry that if the T doesn't act like a magic bullet (mentally) I'm going to lose my mind and be a fat, divorced couch potato for the rest of life.

I think I just needed to vent but I'd love some motivation if you've got it.
 
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bro, i read every word of your post, hope that everything go well for you,and hope you can cheer up. i have a bro who has nearly the same experience as you, met a serious car accident, after the doctor's rescue had a narrow escape, but he lost the fertility and his wife left him. Later on he get recover and met a good girl when he travelled to Thailand. u can see many people go through from fucking miserable and then heal. so nothing will be a big deal
 
Try to keep your head up Brotha. I got smacked with health issue this year.. What helped me was telling myself "someone out there is dealing way more issues"


Sent from Men's Correctional Facility.
 
Good shit guys. I apreaciate the support. I'm thinking of packing up all my shit finding a great divorce lawyer and heading to Thailand to find my next wife. That was obviously a little humor directed at Breno9. I got your point bro (shit can always get back to normal, or better) and thanks. It's a complex thing (the endo system) and messes up your whole game if it gets out of whack. My wife's a keeper and I'm not gonna fuck it up. My kids are everything a parent would dream of and I don't wanna screw them up either. I just need to be the man I was before all this happened, and God willing I will be.
Cheloz, you are 1,000% right. I'm bitching about minor thing compared to millions of other people. I had a buddy who lost a leg and his nuts over in Iraq and he's not whining half as much as me. Although he is getting doctor prescribed TRT as a result. I'd argue that he's never been better mentally. Physically he's fucked up, but he never shows any signs of depression and his old lady has stuck by him through thick and thin.
What I dick I sound like, bitching about my problems when there's guys out there like my good friend. He was one of my groomsmen as a matter of fact.
Surprisingly enough, I feel as though I've gotten some good motivation out of this whole thread. After all that was the point.
Thanks guys for putting me into perspective. People are getting thier heads cut off and I'm all bent out shape about my body image and lack of motivation. Fucked up world and I'm not making it any better posting shot like this. Wow, that felt good to actually think about somebody other then me. You guys are great, thanks a million. I don't feel like proof reading so forget the typos would ya.
 
Just a brief update... For the few people who bothered to reply. I took my first 125mg of Test last night after 9 months of abstinence. Well actually It was last night and this morning to be truthful. 50mg prop at 7pm and 75mg of Test C this morning. I think I just wanted a quick fix by using the prop, as waiting for the cyp to take effect seemed a bit pointless given my situation. Whether its mental or not I feel a lot better then I've been feeling. I was on doctor prescribed TRT for over a decade before they took me off so it was no surprise that my body felt better from it.
I purchased a bike (a used harley sportster) back in July and finally took it out for a ride today. Besides the messed up electrical bullshit (lights weren't working) and strange noise coming from the rear suspension it actually felt like it was in decent shape. I paid next to nothing for it so I didnt have high expectations. I must say it was a good day both mentally and physically. Spent a good 40 minutes in the garage gym I have and had a nice, easy workout. I'm really optimistic that my issues were hormone related and now that I'm back on the horse I expect things to start getting back to normal.
Lets see how work goes tomorrow. I have a lot on the agenda and I'm gonna use my new attitude to try and bang out my checklist I made way to long ago.
 
Sorry for the late reply but I had to respond.

I was bodybuilding and making good progress for several years and I got severely sick in January of 2005. My case of Lyme disease was not recognized for two years. The damage has been done to my joints, my nervous system, and neurologically. I have been through numerous treatments including IV pic lines and a slew of oral antibiotics herbs and anti malarial treatment. Tens of thousands of doctors, numerous docs, and I am now practically disabled. I recently was able to start bodybuilding again for another two year stretch and made some good gains. I ran about a year of test and some deca. I started have horrible anxiety, insomnia, depression, fatigue, light sensitivity. My nervous system was going nuts and I had major spikes in blood pressure and pulse rate. I finally have had to just accept it and take major time off.

My advice is listen to your body. Those with this illness , especially bad or late treated cases can crash really easy. I was burning the candle at both ends. I hope you are able to regain your health and get back at it. Sorry if I ramble but this is a consequence of the neurological stuff. By the way dealing with it a while I have little things that might help since I have tried practically everything. Feel free to contact me. Since it sounds like they caught it early you should be able to get most everything back. I just wanted to warn you because it can be nasty and don't want to see anyone relapse pushing too fast.
 
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Getting your Test levels up will make you feel a lot better. Before I was on TRT I was experiencing much of what you are now. My levels were 60's. TRT was a game changer. The Lyme disease will have to run its course. I've had major illnesses in the past and it took me two years to recover so take your time and enjoy the ride.
 
Welcome to my world brother.
Same shit happened to me at 24- injured at work, couldn't walk for 30 days, crutches for 30 after that and cane for 30 after.
Well, after 30 days I had lost 35 lbs. 30 more and I had lost another 15 (went from 186- ROCK SOLID, NO BF- to 134! 6ft btw).
I had to go to MANY different docs, finally this one who has an affiliation with a Veterinary college had my blood sent out and had lyme, bartonella, babesia (same as babesiosis) and one other co infection I can't remember that starts w an L.
Was on a PICC line 4 different times, a slew of antibiotic regimens that changed what pills you took everyday and then every week or two, had a print out to follow bc it was so damn complicated.
And still I feel like hell 8-9 yrs later and back up to 190, but other complications- extreme hypothyroidism, hypogonadism like a mofo (89ng/dl total!) And many many others. My rheumatologist has been my saving grace. She is so damn intelligent and listens to me and believes me. Other docs just think I'm crazy, quite literally.

So, my advice- do whatever you can to expose your wife to the fukt up world of lyme so maybe she understands a bit better and will stick around. And tell her you want her there no matter how you act and your actions are fueled by screwed up hormones and blood disease that is literally eating away at your joints, your brain, your eyes and very tissue and fiber I'm your body. It's in your red blood cells so it goes where they do- which is everywhere. I have contacts for night vision or driving bc everything has a halo type effect.

I hope you message me so I can give you my email and we can help eachother. I am so fkn sorry to hear about your affliction, but networking with the right people will be your salvation.

Also, there's a DVD - "Under Our Skin" and if you watch that's with your wife I think it will help. I was very similar to the blonde in it. And have had several stroked due to lyme. It IS a neuro degenerative disease so I have a slew of supplements I reccomend. Algal dha is a great one for the brain. High dose NAC and d3 are a must imo. And I would say 150-300mg/wk of test will help tremendously. That shit kills your test, as well as free test. Cause unknown bc shbg seems to have stayed the same (in me before lyme and after) yet my body is a "hyperexcreter" now or at least that's what they think. I think lyme is somehow blocking it from being used.

K, enough rambling. Hope this helps. And I have taken just about EVERY damn supplement or herb out there so Please hmu and I'll tell you what's worked. Oh, def stay reg on glutamine. Helps me at least.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Professional Muscle mobile app
 
Oh and I am so so sorry to hear about your misfortune. It is absolutely soul crushing and very hard to recover from that hopefully they found it early enough. I had had it since I was about 9 or 10 years old they are guessing and that is why mine was so destructive to my joints and such. I pray for a rapid and successful recovery for your brother.

And I will mention that if you're going to be on trt, that a low dose of NPP helped my joints tremendously and it also helped me gain back some of the weight I had lost. And when I say low dose I'm talking 100mg. That was enough to get a lot of relief in my joints.

Oh, and there will be tmes where you feel great and "I think I beat this shit!" And then all of a sudden you'll feel like you got hit by a mac truck. So just be patient is about all I can say. And there's a lot of good research out there if you dig deep enough.

("Seibert neurolyme" is the username of a very intelligent woman who's a doctor and so was her husband and he died of neuro lyme. So maybe you can find her on some of the forums or Google it or something. He's to luck brother. Hoorah)

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Professional Muscle mobile app
 

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