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Relationship/Sex Drive Advice

swim15

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Jun 8, 2013
Messages
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I’ll save you guys a lot of the background but essentially I have made a job of fucking up relationships for a number of years now and missed out on several opportunities to marry two people that I would have loved to have a life with. Big blows but my fault.

A large part of some of my struggle is likely due to having ADD and OCD after being evaluated by a couple professionals that I saw for therapy for several years.

Recently I made some massive steps to correct a lot of actions and behaviors in my life so that I don’t do the same thing with my current relationship that I did in past ones which I’m really excited about as it’s entirelt new territory for me.

Probably sounds like a stupid question to some but my question revolves primarily around maintaining sexual interest in and aggression towards a partner? I’ve typically had a horrible behavior of having multiple females in my life at any given time which caused me to develop somewhat of a dependence on different sexual outlets but have taken huge steps to eliminate that urge going forward. Any tips, tricks, or things that you guys do to manage yourself mentally, especially those who have struggled with similar issues? This girlfriend in particular looks fantastic physically and I am very attracted to her just from an objective basis as well.


TLDR:
Do you guys, especially the ones with trust/commitment issues, have any tips tricks for maintaining a healthy sexual desire for a long term (hoping lifelong) partner? I’m up for any and all suggestions no matter how weird or crazy as I want to get ahead of this and stay ahead of it.
 
Last edited:
I left someone i was with for 7 years because the sex wasnt enough. its 6 years later and i miss her every fucking day. i was younger then.

when i got older the qualities she had far out weigh any nympho that fucked my brains out.

different stages of life. but sex isnt everything and it took me a long long time to learn that.
 
I left someone i was with for 7 years because the sex wasnt enough. its 6 years later and i miss her every fucking day. i was younger then.



when i got older the qualities she had far out weigh any nympho that fucked my brains out.



different stages of life. but sex isnt everything and it took me a long long time to learn that.



The hormones certainly don’t help either [emoji846]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Maybe you ain`t meant to be married of have a serious relationship. Can you not accept that, if it were the case? Your asking how to give up cookies and only have cake for life. The answer is because this cake (woman) is better than any other cookie (other sluts).... but you seem to always want a variety. Just curious, how much porn do you watch? Is that fueling your ridiculous ideas of what real life is or should be?
 
Too many guys marry women that they are not compatible with sexually.. it isnt going to get better as the relationship moves on over the years... this leads many times to infidelity.. wrong or right.. I have always had a very high sex drive.. even well before gear... luckily my wife of 27 years had equally as high a drive. And it really hasnt diminished over the years thankfully.. still 5 to 6 days a week..

As i stated before if your frustrated before the marriage about the lack of sex it's only going to get worse in most cases.. just something to keep in mind..
 
If there were already two people you could've married, I don't think it was that real, or at least with one of those two. Not trying to be a dick, I hope it doesn't come across that way.

I dont have tips really, I've always been a loyal dog to any of my ex gf's. Focus on making her happy instead of yourself, put yourself at second place and the right woman will do the same with you. However, if she doesn't, abord mission as you should be happy too ofcourse.

^easier said than done of course.
 
I have ADD and I don't see what that has to do with your issue?

It's not like ADD makes you fuck several women or anything.
 
I think abstaining from sex for shorter periods of time, masturbation too can refocus you on your lady, but I do this maybe before a long weekend trip or vacation where I know we are going to be fucking a lot. Maybe for a week we won’t have sex so when we get time it can be more focused and intense, but our sexual chemistry has always been strong. Over time it can get derailed with stress from life and kids, but I don’t think there is any tip that can create chemistry. Chemistry is what will keep you from straying because even if you do stray away even slightly, you’ll realize it isn’t what you have at home. I don’t want McDonald’s when I know my girl has a full course meal with dessert at home. Lol. There’s no tips on that bro. No matter how good she looks... also it might just be that you aren’t ready. And only you can iron that out, with due time
 
a good buddy of mine was a big player for a couple of years, used to meet & sleep with tons of girls. we had a lil chat the other day about sleeping with not-so-pretty girls and i asked how he gets hard on these girls? He told me that every girl (no matter how pretty) has an 'angle' or 'feature' you need to see/find which will make you want to fuck her. its all about your imagination/fantasy. i used to struggle with this a lot in the past, since i have my expectations regarding how a girl should look and when she didn't, my sexual appetite for her vanished, too. next time you with a girl, inspect her carefully, try looking for something in her looks you really like - no matter what it is. Every girl has something beautiful about her, its your job to find it.
 
Too many guys marry women that they are not compatible with sexually.. it isnt going to get better as the relationship moves on over the years... this leads many times to infidelity.. wrong or right.. I have always had a very high sex drive.. even well before gear... luckily my wife of 27 years had equally as high a drive. And it really hasnt diminished over the years thankfully.. still 5 to 6 days a week..

As i stated before if your frustrated before the marriage about the lack of sex it's only going to get worse in most cases.. just something to keep in mind..

This is probably the best answer you will get.
Also keep in mind, probably only 10-20% of all women have a sex drive that matches a guys cravings...

So good luck with it.
 
a good buddy of mine was a big player for a couple of years, used to meet & sleep with tons of girls. we had a lil chat the other day about sleeping with not-so-pretty girls and i asked how he gets hard on these girls? He told me that every girl (no matter how pretty) has an 'angle' or 'feature' you need to see/find which will make you want to fuck her. its all about your imagination/fantasy. i used to struggle with this a lot in the past, since i have my expectations regarding how a girl should look and when she didn't, my sexual appetite for her vanished, too. next time you with a girl, inspect her carefully, try looking for something in her looks you really like - no matter what it is. Every girl has something beautiful about her, its your job to find it.

Every girl has something beautiful about her? Wow! I've never heard that before. Do you believe that about a 300 lb woman?
 
I have been sowing my wild oats lately, being that I'm newly divorced, so I've been a bit overactive in terms of banging more than my fair share of women... But i was married for over 15 years, so I do have pointers there, the secret to a long lasting marriage is to have date night once a week.

Now during date night forget about everything, let it all hang out, doing worry about shit, not work, nothing, turn off your phone, get drunk, have the most wild sex you can imagine... Ah but the most important part is to make sure you don't run into your wife... She'll fuck up everything...
 
`She may be 300lbs.... but can cook one hella challupa breakfast:).
Every woman has something attractive, its on you to find it.
 
I’ll save you guys a lot of the background but essentially I have made a job of fucking up relationships for a number of years now and missed out on several opportunities to marry two people that I would have loved to have a life with. Big blows but my fault.

A large part of some of my struggle is likely due to having ADD and OCD after being evaluated by a couple professionals that I saw for therapy for several years.

Recently I made some massive steps to correct a lot of actions and behaviors in my life so that I don’t do the same thing with my current relationship that I did in past ones which I’m really excited about as it’s entirelt new territory for me.

Probably sounds like a stupid question to some but my question revolves primarily around maintaining sexual interest in and aggression towards a partner? I’ve typically had a horrible behavior of having multiple females in my life at any given time which caused me to develop somewhat of a dependence on different sexual outlets but have taken huge steps to eliminate that urge going forward. Any tips, tricks, or things that you guys do to manage yourself mentally, especially those who have struggled with similar issues? This girlfriend in particular looks fantastic physically and I am very attracted to her just from an objective basis as well.


TLDR:
Do you guys, especially the ones with trust/commitment issues, have any tips tricks for maintaining a healthy sexual desire for a long term (hoping lifelong) partner? I’m up for any and all suggestions no matter how weird or crazy as I want to get ahead of this and stay ahead of it.


Holy shit, I just read your post, the first response was obvious one of my favorite jokes... I am a sex addict
 

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