- Joined
- Apr 2, 2016
- Messages
- 160
Went through a very tough breakup last year. I was at fault. I was with a really decent person who wanted a family-oriented life, which is what I've always wanted, but around the time before I met her I had gotten involved with a very different crowd and had gotten accustomed to going out, drinking, staying out late at bars etc. She was actually really understanding of this, told me she couldn't do these things because she was a mom, but if it made me happy that she understood. I took this and ran with it, figuring she'd put up with it forever. Well, sure enough, eventually she told me she could tell I wanted something else that she couldn't give me and she had to let me go.
We went through the initial, kind of awkward, talking about it stages. Then just broke off contact for a while. Sometime earlier this year she began messaging me out of the blue, at first just asking how I was, then sometimes just sending me a song she thought i'd like, or even as far as an old pic of us etc. It seems as time has passed some of her walls slowly have started to break down, but there's still a lot of resistance and I know she's still very hurt..... I've occasionally brought up the idea of hanging out and she kind of just shuts down for a few days then messages me again. She's hot and cold, sometimes will get a bit pouty if I don't reply or am too short with her etc., other times she'll be very flirty.
I don't know if this is just her way of dealing with it all or if we are slowly starting to heal the wounds. Right now, I'm more focused on me.....
See, after the breakup I noticed I started having a lot of libido issues out of nowhere. I kinda blamed it on TRT but my bloodwork is perfect. I kind of got into serial dating mode but had a really hard time when it came time for sex.
I was really reflecting today and I realized, I've dated a lot of women since, and not one date have I really enjoyed. I mean, some were fun to just you know, get out and do something. But I didn't even really want to be there, and I think this was really the cause of my libido issues. That not only am I still hurting, but I'm dating/sleeping with people I don't even really like or care about.
It's difficult for me because I'm a loner, I don't enjoy hanging out with the guys at all. I don't have family close by either. My partners and their families have always been who I spent time, where I spent holidays etc.
So now I find myself in this place where I'm kind of just alone. I mean if I want I can have a few dates lined up this week, but I'm realizing I don't even want to. I know the usual advice is to get over a woman, get under another one, and in the past it's always worked but this time it's not doing a thing.
Curious if anyone has been through a longer period where they just stopped dating completely. I'll admit I am lonely, this person meant a lot to me and I acted in ways that were not like me at all, and my natural reaction is to just go out and sleep around but, literally, my body won't even cooperate with me this time. I can still go out, have drinks, but like I said I'm not even enjoying a minute of it. It sucks because I feel pretty alone but I'm wondering if what I need is to just be by myself for some time. Like I said I don't really have male friends, I like to do my own thing, so maybe just set some new goals, fitness wise, maybe compete, or concentrate my energy on something else for now?
We went through the initial, kind of awkward, talking about it stages. Then just broke off contact for a while. Sometime earlier this year she began messaging me out of the blue, at first just asking how I was, then sometimes just sending me a song she thought i'd like, or even as far as an old pic of us etc. It seems as time has passed some of her walls slowly have started to break down, but there's still a lot of resistance and I know she's still very hurt..... I've occasionally brought up the idea of hanging out and she kind of just shuts down for a few days then messages me again. She's hot and cold, sometimes will get a bit pouty if I don't reply or am too short with her etc., other times she'll be very flirty.
I don't know if this is just her way of dealing with it all or if we are slowly starting to heal the wounds. Right now, I'm more focused on me.....
See, after the breakup I noticed I started having a lot of libido issues out of nowhere. I kinda blamed it on TRT but my bloodwork is perfect. I kind of got into serial dating mode but had a really hard time when it came time for sex.
I was really reflecting today and I realized, I've dated a lot of women since, and not one date have I really enjoyed. I mean, some were fun to just you know, get out and do something. But I didn't even really want to be there, and I think this was really the cause of my libido issues. That not only am I still hurting, but I'm dating/sleeping with people I don't even really like or care about.
It's difficult for me because I'm a loner, I don't enjoy hanging out with the guys at all. I don't have family close by either. My partners and their families have always been who I spent time, where I spent holidays etc.
So now I find myself in this place where I'm kind of just alone. I mean if I want I can have a few dates lined up this week, but I'm realizing I don't even want to. I know the usual advice is to get over a woman, get under another one, and in the past it's always worked but this time it's not doing a thing.
Curious if anyone has been through a longer period where they just stopped dating completely. I'll admit I am lonely, this person meant a lot to me and I acted in ways that were not like me at all, and my natural reaction is to just go out and sleep around but, literally, my body won't even cooperate with me this time. I can still go out, have drinks, but like I said I'm not even enjoying a minute of it. It sucks because I feel pretty alone but I'm wondering if what I need is to just be by myself for some time. Like I said I don't really have male friends, I like to do my own thing, so maybe just set some new goals, fitness wise, maybe compete, or concentrate my energy on something else for now?