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- Joined
- Feb 25, 2012
- Messages
- 771
Well, I am about to get married in about 6 months. This is my first marriage, its new to me and I actually don't know what to expect from it. I've been single for a long time, I don't have kids, I overly concentrated on the single life and dating and accumulating wealth, career, toys, properties, education, being selfish and the attitude that "its always about me"
Honestly I thought that my life was splendid, no worries but then I started to realize that my life was not actually fun anymore. All of my graduations and accomplishments were done alone, purchased my first house alone, went to war for 2 years and come home to nobody, alone. I have no parents because due to their own negligence and choice of lifestyle they died young due to alcohol and drug abuse. My mother actually committed suicide, well I don't want to get into the pity party here lets just say that I didn't have the most pleasant childhood or family experience. However, w that being said I didn't use those unfortunate events as an excuse to turn like them or be a fuck up in life. Was my life easy? HELL NO but I decided to make a choice and do whats right, I fallen many times but I have always managed to somehow get up and continue on. I am not a religious man, not a church going guy, don't subscribe to any religion or any faith. I am by far, spiritual. I have my doubts about religions, faiths, ideals, written books, etc created by mankind and not by some angel from up above.. But again I won't visit that topic.
I'm approaching my 40's and I met this beautiful middle eastern woman that changed my life, back when I used to date the many girls that I have dated and had my way with them I didn't care, I cheated, lied, played games, broke hearts, had my heart broken as well, enjoyed my freedom and I truly didn't have too much faith in the word "relationship" or "commitment." I don't know if its old age, wisdom or enlightenment but my habits have changed, my way of thinking has changed, all the stuff that I used to do before has been eliminated, erased, I don't engage in extra curricular activities, different partners, etc etc etc. I remember one thing that my mother once told me before which I thought it was all BS. She said, "Son, its not fun to grow old and alone" Also, she said. "One day you will realize that what you have been doing needs to change for the better, when the "RIGHT ONE" comes along you will know, your old self will change and the new you will be born." For many years I thought about those words and blew them off but boy was I fucking wrong. For those that say that you can't turn a hoe into a housewife, well let me be the judge of that statement.. I used to be the biggest "HOE HOE" in the world. My step brothers wife used to get mad at me because I used to bring different girls to their get togethers to the point that she barred me from stepping inside the house with another girl, lol.. She felt disrespected for whatever reason or maybe threaten, who knows. Well, back to my story here...
I have come to realize that sex and beauty is a nice thing, however. Sex without love isn't, meaning "true love" unconditional love, truly that good. Its enjoyable, maybe fun but deep down inside you lone for something bigger, better. We are humans and as humans we need to share our lives with someone, we were not born to be alone. We lone for family, friends, companionship, sharing, etc etc. Why do you think that most suicides occur during the holidays??? Hmmmmm.. But anyway here is my question that I want to post here. I'm looking for positive opinions, constructive criticism, educated response or better said, common sense response. Does marriage truly change with that piece of paper? Once you say I do, what differentiates between that magical word and your spouse? How do some couples stay married for so many years? How do they accomplish such a task in a society that working things through doesn't seem like a viable solution anymore. We live in a society that wants everything now and easy, no compromise, no hard work, no dedication, its easier to quit and give up then fight. With over 52%+ divorce rate how can someone not be scared to make that leap of faith?? Many things in life I have faced, but this is WAAAAY different. So is it normal to be nervous, concern, worried? I don't want to be another statistic and I don't plan on being either. But for those that have been married for a long time, how did you make it work? How did you manage to overcome disappointment, stress, communication issues, demands of the married life, kids, financial obligations, etc? I understand that relationships aren't easy because if they were everyone would of been in a relationship or married. However, I have come to realize that anything that is worth fighting for and keeping isn't always EASY. I know that my soul, mind and heart has changed, I no longer want "others" I no longer want the dating scene, I no longer care about me, me, me, I no longer want to be selfish, I no longer want to share my accomplishment alone, I no longer care about the fancy expensive cars, boats, house, material things, I no longer care about those insignificant things that we sometimes like so much. All that I know that I want to share my life with someone and this someone happens to be in front of me now and with all my energy, power I'm going to pull off the best wedding that I can afford, the best memory because after all you only get married once! :headband:
Looking forward to some positive feedback... Thanks guys!
Honestly I thought that my life was splendid, no worries but then I started to realize that my life was not actually fun anymore. All of my graduations and accomplishments were done alone, purchased my first house alone, went to war for 2 years and come home to nobody, alone. I have no parents because due to their own negligence and choice of lifestyle they died young due to alcohol and drug abuse. My mother actually committed suicide, well I don't want to get into the pity party here lets just say that I didn't have the most pleasant childhood or family experience. However, w that being said I didn't use those unfortunate events as an excuse to turn like them or be a fuck up in life. Was my life easy? HELL NO but I decided to make a choice and do whats right, I fallen many times but I have always managed to somehow get up and continue on. I am not a religious man, not a church going guy, don't subscribe to any religion or any faith. I am by far, spiritual. I have my doubts about religions, faiths, ideals, written books, etc created by mankind and not by some angel from up above.. But again I won't visit that topic.
I'm approaching my 40's and I met this beautiful middle eastern woman that changed my life, back when I used to date the many girls that I have dated and had my way with them I didn't care, I cheated, lied, played games, broke hearts, had my heart broken as well, enjoyed my freedom and I truly didn't have too much faith in the word "relationship" or "commitment." I don't know if its old age, wisdom or enlightenment but my habits have changed, my way of thinking has changed, all the stuff that I used to do before has been eliminated, erased, I don't engage in extra curricular activities, different partners, etc etc etc. I remember one thing that my mother once told me before which I thought it was all BS. She said, "Son, its not fun to grow old and alone" Also, she said. "One day you will realize that what you have been doing needs to change for the better, when the "RIGHT ONE" comes along you will know, your old self will change and the new you will be born." For many years I thought about those words and blew them off but boy was I fucking wrong. For those that say that you can't turn a hoe into a housewife, well let me be the judge of that statement.. I used to be the biggest "HOE HOE" in the world. My step brothers wife used to get mad at me because I used to bring different girls to their get togethers to the point that she barred me from stepping inside the house with another girl, lol.. She felt disrespected for whatever reason or maybe threaten, who knows. Well, back to my story here...
I have come to realize that sex and beauty is a nice thing, however. Sex without love isn't, meaning "true love" unconditional love, truly that good. Its enjoyable, maybe fun but deep down inside you lone for something bigger, better. We are humans and as humans we need to share our lives with someone, we were not born to be alone. We lone for family, friends, companionship, sharing, etc etc. Why do you think that most suicides occur during the holidays??? Hmmmmm.. But anyway here is my question that I want to post here. I'm looking for positive opinions, constructive criticism, educated response or better said, common sense response. Does marriage truly change with that piece of paper? Once you say I do, what differentiates between that magical word and your spouse? How do some couples stay married for so many years? How do they accomplish such a task in a society that working things through doesn't seem like a viable solution anymore. We live in a society that wants everything now and easy, no compromise, no hard work, no dedication, its easier to quit and give up then fight. With over 52%+ divorce rate how can someone not be scared to make that leap of faith?? Many things in life I have faced, but this is WAAAAY different. So is it normal to be nervous, concern, worried? I don't want to be another statistic and I don't plan on being either. But for those that have been married for a long time, how did you make it work? How did you manage to overcome disappointment, stress, communication issues, demands of the married life, kids, financial obligations, etc? I understand that relationships aren't easy because if they were everyone would of been in a relationship or married. However, I have come to realize that anything that is worth fighting for and keeping isn't always EASY. I know that my soul, mind and heart has changed, I no longer want "others" I no longer want the dating scene, I no longer care about me, me, me, I no longer want to be selfish, I no longer want to share my accomplishment alone, I no longer care about the fancy expensive cars, boats, house, material things, I no longer care about those insignificant things that we sometimes like so much. All that I know that I want to share my life with someone and this someone happens to be in front of me now and with all my energy, power I'm going to pull off the best wedding that I can afford, the best memory because after all you only get married once! :headband:
Looking forward to some positive feedback... Thanks guys!
