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My head and heart are fucking with me.

JustWannaBeHuge

FOUNDING Member / Kilo Klub Member
Kilo Klub Member
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Joined
Jun 5, 2002
Messages
2,329
Been over a year since I spoke to my ex. She treated my daughter like her own when we were together. It was a bad breakup. A lot of hurtful things said on both sides due to a lot of misunderstanding and other people giving their bs. Either way. It was over. We spoke last year. She told me she was leaving the state to start over. She didn't leave.

I met current gf. We been dating for about a year now. We work out together and Friday after the gym we get to my truck and I pick up my cell as I always leave in in my truck during a workout. There is a text saying happy Thanksgiving and asking how I am. I replied and asked her how family was.

She tells me her nephew has a little sister and come February he's also gonna have a cousin.

I asked if she's pregnant or her oldest sister. She said she is. This is a woman that when we were together I wanted more kids and she kept brushing it off. Saying no she doesn't wanna be a mom or have any kids.
She's better as a step mom and an aunt.

I got mad and told her good luck with her new family. And asked Wtf she contacted me for, just to let me know she is having a kid? She insisted it was just to see how me and the family was.

We stopped texting. Last night I find out she got pregnant by a guy she knew for a few months and he left. He doesn't wanna be a dad. She's going to be a single mom now.

I don't wish her ill and I don't wanna bash her. Please keep the negative comments about her off the post. My female friends bashed her enough and I can't handle anymore hatred speech right now.it doesn't do anyone any good.

I'm in somewhat of a better situation financially. Been working on side things and plan to do it full time and quit my regular job after the new year.

I'm tired. Yesterday s workout was shit. I lost my appetite during my mid bulk cycle. Mind is all over the place. Keep having flashes to the last family trip me her and my daughter went on, ocean city during the off season kicking the sand and pushing each other close to the waters edge. I still remember how cold the water was.

I made a lot of mistakes in that relationship and I've been working hard on myself to fix me the last couple of years.

I'm tired. I just want to go back to sleep now
 
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Give her a call back and just talk to her. She's scared and u were her best friend, she trusts you. All things can be repaired over time even friendships. Good luck.
 
Memories are deceiving. I never have memories of the "bad times" with my exes, for some reason it's only the good times.

Helping her bring up someone elses kid does not seem like a solution to any problems. Children (yours & hers) need stability.

Tread lightly my friend.
 
Sounds like you also remember the bullshit that you broke up over. Not sure what your post is really asking, but just from what you did write it appears that you are in a better place in your life. IMO, there is no need to go back man, no reason for you to concern yourself emotionally or financially - take care of YOUR OWN DAUGHTER, yourself and your current girlfriend.
 
Sounds like you also remember the bullshit that you broke up over. Not sure what your post is really asking, but just from what you did write it appears that you are in a better place in your life. IMO, there is no need to go back man, no reason for you to concern yourself emotionally or financially - take care of YOUR OWN DAUGHTER, yourself and your current girlfriend.

Just venting maybe???

IDK if your taking any AAS but I know it makes me extremely emotional.Try to separate your emotions and step back. Take a look at the big picture. Yeak I know easier said than done
 
JWBH, if you can reach out to her "as a friend" then I believe you will do yourself a lot of good. Both mentally and physically. I know you dont want to get back together with her. And I know it's hard to just talk to someone you were with for a while and then broke up on bad terms. But if you ever want to get past this in your head and heart, then be the bigger person and support her emotionally as a friend. I believe you will see how much better you start to feel about yourself. Especially knowing in your heart you have burried the bad and the past. I've been there and done that with my exwife. I've been married to my current wife for 22-23 years now. My wife and exwife get along very well. Why? Because I never turned my back on my ex. And I told my current wife, no metter what happens she is till the mother of my two kids.


If not for her, do it for your own peace of mind brother. You'll see that taking the higher road can lead to a peacefull heart. Good luck
 
You are intrverted stuck in a memory, go outside look around recognize where you are and what your doing. Extrovert get outside of your own stuff and flourish..just my two cents..good luck brother
 
JWBH, if you can reach out to her "as a friend" then I believe you will do yourself a lot of good. Both mentally and physically. I know you dont want to get back together with her. And I know it's hard to just talk to someone you were with for a while and then broke up on bad terms. But if you ever want to get past this in your head and heart, then be the bigger person and support her emotionally as a friend. I believe you will see how much better you start to feel about yourself. Especially knowing in your heart you have burried the bad and the past. I've been there and done that with my exwife. I've been married to my current wife for 22-23 years now. My wife and exwife get along very well. Why? Because I never turned my back on my ex. And I told my current wife, no metter what happens she is till the mother of my two kids.


If not for her, do it for your own peace of mind brother. You'll see that taking the higher road can lead to a peacefull heart. Good luck

I get what you're saying Boom, but were they married or dating? Your situation is much different, you had kids with your wife, he didn't ahve any with his ex (gf?). If he had kids with her I'd agree, but sometimes it's better to leave the past in the past.
 
Been over a year since I spoke to my ex. She treated my daughter like her own when we were together. It was a bad breakup. A lot of hurtful things said on both sides due to a lot of misunderstanding and other people giving their bs. Either way. It was over. We spoke last year. She told me she was leaving the state to start over. She didn't leave.

I met current gf. We been dating for about a year now. We work out together and Friday after the gym we get to my truck and I pick up my cell as I always leave in in my truck during a workout. There is a text saying happy Thanksgiving and asking how I am. I replied and asked her how family was.

She tells me her nephew has a little sister and come February he's also gonna have a cousin.

I asked if she's pregnant or her oldest sister. She said she is. This is a woman that when we were together I wanted more kids and she kept brushing it off. Saying no she doesn't wanna be a mom or have any kids.
She's better as a step mom and an aunt.

I got mad and told her good luck with her new family. And asked Wtf she contacted me for, just to let me know she is having a kid? She insisted it was just to see how me and the family was.

We stopped texting. Last night I find out she got pregnant by a guy she knew for a few months and he left. He doesn't wanna be a dad. She's going to be a single mom now.

I don't wish her ill and I don't wanna bash her. Please keep the negative comments about her off the post. My female friends bashed her enough and I can't handle anymore hatred speech right now.it doesn't do anyone any good.

I'm in somewhat of a better situation financially. Been working on side things and plan to do it full time and quit my regular job after the new year.

I'm tired. Yesterday s workout was shit. I lost my appetite during my mid bulk cycle. Mind is all over the place. Keep having flashes to the last family trip me her and my daughter went on, ocean city during the off season kicking the sand and pushing each other close to the waters edge. I still remember how cold the water was.

I made a lot of mistakes in that relationship and I've been working hard on myself to fix me the last couple of years.

I'm tired. I just want to go back to sleep now

Well, she knows what kind of a person you truly are and how you are as a father.. So now she needs a baby daddy. Who to call? People treat each other like shit, say the most horrible things to the ones we love the most, anger, hostility, jealousy, fuel the fire... You, have some serious soul searching to do. Your in a relationship that I assume is doing ok, however you seem to have strong feelings for your ex reflected by how quick you got angry with her after not hearing from her in a year... Even if she backs off now you will not be able to put her and her situation out of your mind now...
You love her still..
Whatever you do just be honest with yourself, your current gf and your ex, no need for negativity, hostility, lies, anger anymore.. Shit, if you go back, F everyone else, it's for your reasons. They can support you or shut up...
And whoever she was before, doesn't matter any more. If she is a good person, and not a self centered psycho B@&$?, her priorities have changed now, she has a baby on the way..
 
Last edited:
Bro if its been over a year since u two have spoken why would she text u now out of the blue?

IMO she feels down cuz she is Prego the guys doesn't care and its thanksgiving she having a moment and reflecting into her life current and past event and feels she had a good shot when u two where together but some how blew it.so she felt compel to text u.but if im not mistaken u said u are in a new relationship? If its good why blow it by even thinking of giving the past a re-try
 
I get what you're saying Boom, but were they married or dating? Your situation is much different, you had kids with your wife, he didn't ahve any with his ex (gf?). If he had kids with her I'd agree, but sometimes it's better to leave the past in the past.



For sure bro, I know the last part of mine is a little different than his. My main point was as he said, "she treated my daughter like her own". So I was assuming his daughter must have taken a liking to her. And so, I would hate for a divorce to ruin a little girls emotions by cutting this woman out all together out of her little life. Not sure how the new GF will handle this? In my case both ex and current get along well because of the kids involved. I hope he can do the same.
 
You had one sentence about your current gf... your still with her? You have a gf? You need a smack in the head, risking a relationship on this nonsense. Why is there not more focus on her, the future, instead of past where there were issues. How did you feel during that break up? How were your work outs then? Your eating? Remember that, feel it as if it were real again, THEN decide where your future is.

You wanna be step dad to somebody else`s kid who`s dad is long gone?
 

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