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Still have feelings for the Ex...but seeing a new lady

blaze918

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Mar 15, 2011
Messages
161
Hey guys,

I thought I'd seek some opinions/advice from people with more experience then myself (I'm 25 and have never been through anything like this before). I dated this adorable Latina for about 3 years (first serious relationship), about 4 months ago we decided to go our separate ways.

About a month after we split I started seeing the amazing blonde, the first month or so with her I kept thinking about the Ex all the time (to be expected after such a long time together). I was then fine for the next two months, felt like I had made the right choice and that the new girl is exactly what I was looking for in something long term.

The strange part is right around month 3 with the new girl (4 months after the break up) I've started thinking about the Ex again...I don't understand what's going on...I thought I was fine. Part of me wants to go back to the Ex (she would definitely take me back) and I'm feeling a little torn. The new girl is great, sex is amazing, she's super responsible and sexy as hell...but I just keep missing what I had in the previous relationship.

Anyone gone through this before? Did you end up going back to the Ex? How did it work out?

Not sure if this is worth mentioning but I'm also running Tren for the first time so I don't know if this could be messing with my emotions a little bit (been running 400mg Tren E for about 5 weeks w/ TRT dose of test). Any thoughts or feedback would be appreciated.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, thanks bros.
 
Last edited:
First, I never make long lasting decisions if I have something in me that could mess with emotions/decision process. Tren can be one of them, I'd suggest you figure out how it effects you.

You and the first broke it off for a reason. Some times we are drawn to what isn't good for us. Don't mistake lack of drama for lack of excitement.
 
Always gonna be the case if you loved your ex. You have to trust that you and your ex broke up for a reason and give this new girl a fair shot. If you don't the new girl will eventually realize you're holding back.
 
You'll always feel a connection to anyone you've been with for a long period of time. Just a fact in my experience. Don't confuse it with love, love is an action not a feeling, feelings can fuck everything up.

Also everything in past looks better thru the rose colored glasses of time. Stay where your at.
 
Whats the old girl got the new one ain't got? Also why did you break up with the old one? You said "she'd take me back" which makes me think you did something, she got mad, you broke up.


Either way go with your heart bro, might lead you astray from time to time but at least you'll be true to yourself.
 
Guys,

thanks for taking the time to post.

@Cerberus777
You're absolutely right, I avoid making decisions if I feel like I'm not myself.
I definitely did break it off for a list of good reasons - I think this could be one of those situations where you want something that isn't necessarily the best for you. I actually can't stand drama, I've never dated anyone that was super emotional.

I think a lot of it has to do with her being the first girl I really fell in love with.

@scrapper13
Thanks man, it makes me feel better to know I'm not crazy for still having feelings toward her. It's like she'll always have a small place inside me.
I definitely want to give the new girl a fair shot, she's basically everything I've been looking for (smart, sexy, responsible).

@mewalrus
I've been thinking a lot lately that it could just be the whole "rose colored glasses thing." I think it would be a mistake to go back...and so I'll likely just stay where I'm at. Damn feelings lol. So pesky at times.

@jackjack
The old girl was a lot more spontaneous (but also very irresponsible) and we shared a ton of friends. I broke up with her because at the time I couldn't see myself marrying her. The main issue is that she isn't very responsible (got herself into a shit ton of debt and has made numerous other bad decisions such as dropping out of school...twice...but went back and is finally going to finish up her bachelors).

I didn't really do anything to make her mad (aside from not showing up at the airport with flowers when she got back from studying abroad for a few months). Basically she wasn't sure if she felt the same way about me that she used to and I took it as an easy out since I was thinking about seeing other people anyways.



I appreciate all the responses, it's always nice to get a little perspective...especially from people that may have more experience then myself.
 
You were with your ex for 3 years, so you have a history with her. Like the previous guys said, there's a reason you split up. Give this new girl a shot, as she seems to be what you're looking for. It'll be hard to forget your ex as you built many memories. Trust me, you will think about her years down the road also, just the way our brains work man
 
You obviously went your separate ways for a good reason(s). If you really have strong feelings for the woman you're with now, you need to put your ex in the past and focus on what's happening now! Best of luck!!
 
usually coming to a conclusion is difficult because you are not asking the right questions.. all the questions you have are about her... but what about you?


why does a relationship have to end in marriage or why do you have to "see yourself marrying someone" to validate 3yrs of good times?

why is it a 2 choice equation? are you committed to the new girl? if you are, it is probably a good idea to let her know you are not over your ex and that you kinda want to date around and figure things out.
 
I can't reply now but I will tomorrow as I could write a series longer than Harry Potter on this subject and how I handled everything in the most pathetic way possible. Let me get some zzzs and I'll be back with a short novel (I hope not)
 
Jay_dub, where's that short novel you promised? Sounds like it would be a good/entertaining read. :)

Synthetek Industries – Innovative Bodybuilding Products: Syntherol SEO | Human Kyno | L-Carnitine | Liver Protectants | Appetite Stimulators | Vasodilators - www.synthetek.com
 
Jay_dub, where's that short novel you promised? Sounds like it would be a good/entertaining read. :)

Synthetek Industries – Innovative Bodybuilding Products: Syntherol SEO | Human Kyno | L-Carnitine | Liver Protectants | Appetite Stimulators | Vasodilators - www.synthetek.com
Been out of town on a job which was on completely last minute notice so been very busy. But how bout we do this, I'll ask you some questions and bare with me here and hopefully you'll get something out of it.

There's a few things you have to do.

First off, what makes you miss your ex? Make a list here with detailed information.

Second, what made the relationship end? Why did you split? Make a list full of all the reasons. Be completely honest and don't don't lie to yourself. Be as thorough as possible.

Start with this and we'll go from here.

I had a steady 5 year relationship with my ex with a period of 2.5 yrs after that I've been with my current gf consisting of being extremely happy and in love yet confused and torn which has literally caused me depression, extreme anxiety issues, and major self hatred. I wouldn't wish being in love with two different ppl on anyone..... It's the worst thing I've ever been through emotionally. It
 

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