- Joined
- Jan 1, 2015
- Messages
- 5
I was dating a man who is incredible and we made it threw a year but with many ups and downs. When I met him he had just left his wife, I struggled threw that. I even took him back after he chose to try to reconcile with her under the stipulation that we would be over if he chooses her. I have tried to be the gf he wanted who was loving and adored him. I let my guard down as best as possible. I felt the whole time that he was either hiding something from me or he wasn't all in like I am. 5 mnths in we got pregnant and were both so excited but by the time we hit 8 weeks I miscarried and lost our baby. I went threw a huge depression and still struggle with it. It caused me to lash out be hurt feel less of a woman and plain out saddened. I pushed him away and we tried to stick it out. Things got bad. We went back and forth for sometime. He told me that he was getting back with his wife and I removed our babies burial site from his property. The thought of him taken his ex back and living happily like I didn't exist and our baby didn't happen killed me, little did I know that was his attempt at making me leave him alone and wasn't his real agenda. I have tried to explain how I felt and why I did what I did but I also understand how badly it hurt him and it pains me I caused more pain then I ever wanted to. Anyways we again tried and tried every time.... We bickered and couldn't talk. He assumed and I assumed. Recently I set up an appointment with a counselor for couples counseling to help us communicate better. I honestly feel like the love is there the want was there (maybe until yesterday for him) an this was just what we needed but I feel it's been to long of an on going problem for him that because of a huge fight last night we had its over and I know I took things to far.... I sent a pic of slit wrist and said goodbye he thought it was mine and when I didn't answer his calls called 911. I said my sorries and explained I just wished I wasn't to chicken to go threw with it and said sorry again I think I caused to much damage, but damn it who doesn't when they just want to love someone so much and feel so pushed away no matter how hard they try? I know this last time it was me and I know I have issues for feeling that was in any way ok to do to him but with things that led up to this I just wanted to end it all I tried so hard last night to look amazing for him and he made a joke calling me a whore and said things were weird between us making our night worse then it should have been. I was so hurt. Is this just over and I need to move on, is there any hope? How can I save this? Please anyone... I don't want it to be over with.
He's very narcissistic and I was told that's just how they are they have to control everything and project their own insecurities onto others to feel better about themselves... Is this what he may have been doing to me and why I feel like I'm nothing to him and he is my everything?
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He's very narcissistic and I was told that's just how they are they have to control everything and project their own insecurities onto others to feel better about themselves... Is this what he may have been doing to me and why I feel like I'm nothing to him and he is my everything?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk