I need some serious advice,don't know what to do

[Ranchhand]

Drugs or no drugs the man has bitten the hand that has fed him. He has invaded you and your families domain and trust. He obviously isn't ready to recover from his drug addiction. I would not allow him to come near your family and home. If you still want to help him, I would do it at a distance, like everyone has stated, he needs to truly want to help himself first and foremost.

 

[QuietStorm]

IMO

I should get the cops involved maybe help force his hand to getting help

sever all ties, guy comes in to your house and steals shit from you kids? dead to me.

its ok to rid someone of your life and not feel guilty about it, no matter who it is. If he was ever your friend he should understand and respect that when or if he is ever drug free and rational again.

It might hurt to have him out of your life, but if he was your friend, best or not, he would NEVER steal from a kid or you. You may not want to press charges, which would be the best thing for you to do, but you need to get that dude out of you and your family's lives. No question about it.

 

[Skins]

My advice:

If you can't change your friends, then change your friends.




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[GS]

I can't tell you how much all of you guys have helped me on this.
Thank you guy's from the bottom of the heart...............

 

[nozeryder]

Bro...I lived out in Hawaii 5 years straight and the meth/ice epidemic is horrendous!! people walking around like zombies homeless everywhere

I lived in Waikiki right off Kuhio Drive in the early nineties. Fuckin ice was everywhere. Damn ice heads stealing anything they can carry including my dirty laundry. One muthafucker stole my groceries while I was out surfing and then sold it to my neighbor.
Some hapa haole chick I was banging had just started using and wanted me to try a line. Best thing I ever did was say no and dumped her stupid ass. That day could've changed my life in the worst possible way.

/hijck

 

[OgJohnSmith]

I was in the exact situation with one of my buddies and we were tight and went way back. He got in to heroin and crack and lost it all. He didn’t steal from me but he would call me up all the time asking for money and tell some tall tale on why he needed it which was obviously a lie. I think I helped him out one time but then I thought I was just further enabling him so I cut him off.

That was 10 years ago and to this day I still regret it. It troubles me that I could have handled it better.

 

[wizim]

IMO

I should get the cops involved maybe help force his hand to getting help

sever all ties, guy comes in to your house and steals shit from you kids? dead to me.

its ok to rid someone of your life and not feel guilty about it, no matter who it is. If he was ever your friend he should understand and respect that when or if he is ever drug free and rational again.

i would somehow let him know that you know and tell him to never come around again. ever.
im not sure how you can get the info you got from a pawnshop without getting him or the law involved. so i assume he already knows.

ive been involved in the same type of shit. some of these guys just never figure it out. i wouldnt risk my family over a long time friend. fuck him.

btw... the reason he stole your shit is because he knew he could get away with it. you should have him arrested. you just might save his life.

 

[wizim]

I was in the exact situation with one of my buddies and we were tight and went way back. He got in to heroin and crack and lost it all. He didn’t steal from me but he would call me up all the time asking for money and tell some tall tale on why he needed it which was obviously a lie. I think I helped him out one time but then I thought I was just further enabling him so I cut him off.

That was 10 years ago and to this day I still regret it. It troubles me that I could have handled it better.

i have an ex brother in law that cant figure his shit out. hit rock bottom 15ish years ago, went through rehab and shortly after he met my sister. they had a kid etc. he got a good job (fireman) and was a trust fund baby.
he ended up getting hurt and got hooked on opiates. started stealing from my sister blah blah blah. he was also part owner of a property of mine. i wanted him off the deed so when i knew he was desperate i offered him his money back. 100% no loss to him other than removing his name off my hunting property. he took it. i put his share in my 14 year old sons name. i dont regret it one bit.

he and my sister havent been together for some time but of course being the father he is still in our lives. the dip shit just got out of rehab again about 5-6 months ago and we think he is fucking up again. i dont get it.

i once too was an active addict. i figured shit out when my mother had me arrested for pawning her shit. she gave me 2 options...go to the pawn shop with her to get her jewelry back or go to jail. i said "call the police". i spent 6 months in a "sheriffs work camp rehab" ive been clean for 20 years.

 

[kalika]

I lived in Waikiki right off Kuhio Drive in the early nineties. Fuckin ice was everywhere. Damn ice heads stealing anything they can carry including my dirty laundry. One muthafucker stole my groceries while I was out surfing and then sold it to my neighbor.
Some hapa haole chick I was banging had just started using and wanted me to try a line. Best thing I ever did was say no and dumped her stupid ass. That day could've changed my life in the worst possible way.

/hijck

right off Kuhio? I know all about it.. Glad you passed that crap up!! So gross man!

and if not mistaken that's when it first hit the streets. I was there in later 2000 and it is still bad, but I was told not as bad as it use to be because more prison time for ice these days.

 

[ToroPharmaRep]

The second your family is pulled in its time to pull out. I'd cut my own mother out of my life if my son was effected in any way. You gotta do the hard thing brother, that's not a positive influence on your son and your already in deep enough having to explain to your boy why his stuff was missing. It's hard but you can't make him change. You can only be there to accept his apology when he starts his 12 step program. Even then I'd accept and then keep an eye on him for a year before I let him back in my home.

 

[GS]

It is over the police have arrested him for forging his moms checks.
He will have to use this as a time to get his life straighten up.
As i told you guys the sister had a choice if they pressed charges on him i would give them the money he took for her bills.
How do i feel,,,,,,,,,,,,like shit but just wanted to thank you guys lots of great advice.
His phone call he was given at the police station was to me,i told him never to contact my family or me.

 

[LEX]

It is over the police have arrested him for forging his moms checks.
He will have to use this as a time to get his life straighten up.
As i told you guys the sister had a choice if they pressed charges on him i would give them the money he took for her bills.
How do i feel,,,,,,,,,,,,like shit but just wanted to thank you guys lots of great advice.
His phone call he was given at the police station was to me,i told him never to contact my family or me.

you have nothing to feel bad about bro, everything that has happened to him were all HIS choices, not yours. you don't have a choice you can only do the right thing which is what you are doing.

 

[Aliendogstar]

Harsh...but totally necessary.

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[GS]

This board has a rep of some of the members being uncaring but i gotta say it is far from the truth.
You guys have been more supportive than my own family.
Thanks you, all gave me the strength and the advice to help me out during this messed up situation .

Thank you.................

 

[wizim]

rest knowing hes (somewhat) safe in jail. hopefully he will realize that this shit hole downward spiral is where it always ends up.
when you get to the fork in the road you have to make the right choice.

 

[GS]

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WTF:banghead:

 

[sheffield]

Again, step back, worry about you and your family, you can't fix him, trying to help is likely impeding his journey to recovery. It sucks, it's bad stuff, but it ain't your battle, it's his, and his family issues are between he and his family. But, i get the wanting to help, i understand it all too well.

:yeahthat:


Yes I agree with Gator as good of a friend as he once was his addiction as much as you want to help isn't your problem the only way for him to recover is to hit rock bottom and hope to god the light turns on. I have seen it before with a few people unfortunately one of them we buried a few years ago. Good friend or not bro your Family is number one, anyone who steals from you once will do it again. Hope it all works out for your buddy and he can find the help he needs. sad sad situation

 

[GS]

:yeahthat:


Yes I agree with Gator as good of a friend as he once was his addiction as much as you want to help isn't your problem the only way for him to recover is to hit rock bottom and hope to god the light turns on. I have seen it before with a few people unfortunately one of them we buried a few years ago. Good friend or not bro your Family is number one, anyone who steals from you once will do it again. Hope it all works out for your buddy and he can find the help he needs. sad sad situation

I know it hurt my feelings more than anything
When he told me a few months ago that he wanted to get back into bodybuilding i bought him a few pounds of protein and even bought him 4-10mls of test and 2 10ml of deca and even gave him a 1 year membership to my gym and my other friend told me he bought the gear from him for $200.00 do doubt so he could buy his fix.
I won't fall for it again,and to tell you the truth i kinda feel relieved he is gone.
Sounds bad i feel this way but i do.
I just hope he doesn't try to get back at me and rat me out for getting him some gear?

 

[cal]

I know it hurt my feelings more than anything
When he told me a few months ago that he wanted to get back into bodybuilding i bought him a few pounds of protein and even bought him 4-10mls of test and 2 10ml of deca and even gave him a 1 year membership to my gym and my other friend told me he bought the gear from him for $200.00 do doubt so he could buy his fix.
I won't fall for it again,and to tell you the truth i kinda feel relieved he is gone.
Sounds bad i feel this way but i do.
I just hope he doesn't try to get back at me and rat me out for getting him some gear?

Sure he could. He has already stolen from your kids. Why you'd give a serious addict gear is beyond me however.

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[kalika]

I know it hurt my feelings more than anything
When he told me a few months ago that he wanted to get back into bodybuilding i bought him a few pounds of protein and even bought him 4-10mls of test and 2 10ml of deca and even gave him a 1 year membership to my gym and my other friend told me he bought the gear from him for $200.00 do doubt so he could buy his fix.
I won't fall for it again,and to tell you the truth i kinda feel relieved he is gone.
Sounds bad i feel this way but i do.
I just hope he doesn't try to get back at me and rat me out for getting him some gear?

GS that would be his thieving word against yours. I wouldn't sweat the gear issue. You did the right thing IMO by cutting him off and telling him so. Hope the guy finds sobriety, but he has to really want it as stated many times before. Good luck man.