Thank you very sincerely for the replies everyone, it means a lot to me. Let me reply to some of the questions and comments, if I miss one it’s definitely not because I didn’t hear what you said or it wasn’t valuable to me….
High blood pressure makes me feel aggravated & just altogether bad. I dont know if you have that but thought I would mention it.
No high blood pressure thankfully
why do you think this isnt how you're supposed to feel? maybe feeling this way is the reason you're successful, because you always had anxiety that something was wrong and quickly worked to correct it. I'm an incredibly anxious individual, I know people who are seemingly so happy and they're the polar opposite. nothing seems to bother them, they're just chill all the time and often just as successful.
also, remember you just recently quit nicotine, didn't you? you'll go through bouts of anxiety, big time. good luck bro
This worries me because you could be spot on, this might just be who I am and what enables me to be successful, I know a lot of successful people who could say the same including close relatives. I did quit cigs haven’t had one in a couple weeks now I believe, been feeling good about that actually. Perhaps it has exasperated it but it was an issue before as well.
Drop the dhb and reasses.
For me though I fix my problems through chemistry. In this case I run until I hit that feeling of elation and the world seems much
brighter. I also have my grandson, so whatever feelings I have soon subside after getting him situated each day.
Dropping the DHB might be a good plan to start addressing it, kids and grandkids are a beautiful things I plan to get there myself one day.
I get up very early every morning, pray, and write a few things down that im grateful for. Gratitude holds the keys to the kingdom.
I like this, thank you!
are you working towards anything? anything to better yourself, or just living watching the weeks go by? what are do you live? I live near a city, the traffic, the whole urban atmosphere, pollution, brings me down, id be happier in the county. maybe you need to relocate, fresh start, new environment, new challenges?
Besides the gym im always working on my business or the next new business to make a better life for the people I care about. But I do need more of that, not just making money. I live in a nice leave it to beaver town and my family has a hobby farm, I love animals and the outdoors I get a lot of that otherwise I would start there too.
Stay off the cigs.
When was the last time you did a true "cruise/TRT dose"? As in 16 weeks or more at 200-250mg/week? Nothing else added.
Yep screw the cigs, November through March I am on TRT only and a couple months in there if not more I go off everything completely not even a multivitamin.
If you are an anxious person, no matter how successful, in shape, wealthy etc it will eat at you.
I have anxiety problems and have a similar situation that passed, and I what I did was talk to my most down to earth family and friends and let them know, they put logic back into everything and it helped so much.
Talk to someone, be it a good friend, family or therapist. They can help and will look out for your best interests.
It is anxiety and I have been more open about it lately to people, but it’s not the part of myself I enjoy exposing obviously. I’ve always been the rock, ready to take on the world and while I still have that attitude internally I feel like run down garbage.
Bro it's not just you, society as a whole is feeling this way. Majority of people are this way. Social media is contributing a lot to that and we don't even know it.
If you have Facebook and Instagram, take a 3 weeks break and see how you feel
That is the first thing I would have suggested to someone else, social media is poison it gives you a completely false view of the world. I don’t have any, unless you count snapchat.
Everything in your life you mentioned sounds great but what do you do with your free time? Do you have any?
The happiest people I know have their bills paid, dont stress about money, are in shape, and most overlooked they do whatever theyre into with their free time...all the time. They arent wasting it. If you arent doing something you love with your free time, that will make you miserable and you would never know it until you sat down and thought about it because its not the sort of thing that stands out to people.
I do need more hobbies, you are definitely correct but I’ve been living like this for so long….work then gym then home for so long it’s like where do you start? I go out of town a lot for fun but whenever i had free time at home I always just put it back into my business. I don’t want to start building ships or playing video games….
I think as we age it's natural to feel like this occasionally. More life experience gives you more perspective which is good and bad - what ifs, paralysis by analysis, etc.
Are you really creating the life you want every day or are you following the deferred life path of society, doing things the way most think they should be done? Do you have a great life by your personal standards or by others' standards? I think that's one of the most important differentiators to truly being happy every day.
Wise words and I can’t argue with any of it, being older and evaluating is definitely playing into it.
Maybe focus less on you and more on those around you? Maybe spread a little of your good fortune to others. See if you can't make someones day personally a bit better through a hot meal or a few $ in their pocket. Maybe donate an old jacket to keep someone warm or a pair of shoes you no longer use.
Drugs/alcohol aren't your answer and I'd bet these people you meet who live on the street will tell you the same thing.
Believe it or not I do more for others than I would ever do for myself, strangers through volunteer work as well as family. Not tooting my own horn but it’s the truth, I wish it were as simple as that. Also unless it’s rare sorry occasions not really a drug or alcohol guy.
I could mention various different things but I will keep this post about your AAS as I think it's a big factor. You write you dropped everything other than 500mg test and 200mg DHB like that is nothing compared to what you were on. That's still a full blown cycle. What doses were you running and for how long? Do you use any AI's or SERM's? Have you had full blood work (estrogen, cortisol, prolactin, thyroid etc) done recently? When was the last time you were off everything or at the very most about 150mg test? The DHB could be causing anxiety. The 500mg test could be causing it. Although I suspect it's from a number of things all combined. To start off I would drop everything and go down to 75mg test twice weekly (or 20mg per day) and see how you feel in 4-8 weeks. Have you used any rec drugs in the past? Any sleep or pain meds in the past?
Yea I was on tren and dropped that, I was also running sdrol and Anavar earlier in the summer and dropped. Not on any AI’s I have needed them and haven’t done blood work since earlier in the summer. No sleep or pain meds or recreation drugs. I do think dropping the DHB and going to a true TRT does will help, I’m willing to try anything I’m tired of feeling like this.
.gif "IP Gear")
