- Joined
- Sep 20, 2007
- Messages
- 207
This is probably one of these posts where people look, read, and think “well, how can I reply”. To be honest, it is probably good to just get this off my chest a little and talk about it with a forum that I do a lot of reading on. I appreciate I don’t post much on here, but I do visit the forum to read the information and articles, a lot.
At the moment, I do feel slightly ‘low’, so I would appreciate no flaming to this post, I am just trying to get my view/insight across. I know you guys here are at a completely different level to me, but I thought it might help to hear some replies and responses from you fellas on here.
Around 7 months ago, I got the chance from a fairly well known supplement company, to do some fitness modelling, however, this obviously meant me getting into very sharp condition and shape. So for the last 7-8 months I have been dieting, training and basically being very, very ‘anal’ and obsessed with dieting and training.
Some of you may have read my post here… http://www.professionalmuscle.com/forums/professional-muscle-forum/64675-am-i-too-deep-my-diet.html
This was during my ‘dieting’ phase.
In the last 7-8 months I have got very ripped, had the photoshoot and sent the photos to the supplement company I was talking with. I had to wait an extra 6-8 weeks as the guy who was in charge was busy with other ventures, which meant that I had an extra 6-8 weeks of being very ‘anal’ and basically maintaining my shape, condition and look, which again consisted of very low calories, whilst trying to keep my strength up in the gym.
My strength has plummeted in the gym. In total I lost around 54lbs, and im pretty sure there is some lean mass in there that I have lost too.
For the past 2 months (basically, whilst I have been waiting to hear back from the main guy at the supplement company), my health seems to have really been affected. Cold all the time, depressed, look terrible, feel terrible, and generally miserable. But no, I had to stay with it and make sure my abs weren’t blurred and to make sure my striations were as I wanted them to be.
However, Reality hit this morning, when training at a new gym that I may hit up in future. Took my main top off, so I was training in my vest (helps me to see muscles contracting, etc…) After completing the set, I stood for a moment and looked ahead into the mirror. “Is that really me” was my first thought, and I looked again, at my neck, my face, and my lack of width. I looked skinny, looked like i had lost muscle, looked like my neck was very thin, and generally never looked like i had touched a weight in my life.
It has been on my mind ever since I left the gym, and it has depressed me for most of the day. Add to this the fact that I have already been feeling quite low as a result of how much strength I have lost during dieting, it has left me not really knowing what to do next.
I now appreciate that I do not have the muscle and lean mass to pull off low bodyfat levels, and that is me being my own critic.
I just really wanted to get this off my chest. I think I need to re-evaluate things.
I have 'given up' a lot in recent years in order to make sure my training has been consistent, and that my diet was clean, clean, clean. I think I need to re-evaluate, Will i ever step on a bodybuilding stage, no, I wont, I started training with weights because I loved it, but it has kind of taken over my life, and everything is directed towards it.
I know this is a very deep and reflective post, but if anyone has any words to input I would love to hear them.
As above, i know you guys are at a very different level, you all have amazing physiques, very strong, and what i have written wont apply to you but im sure some of you may know where i am speaking from.
Thank you for reading.
At the moment, I do feel slightly ‘low’, so I would appreciate no flaming to this post, I am just trying to get my view/insight across. I know you guys here are at a completely different level to me, but I thought it might help to hear some replies and responses from you fellas on here.
Around 7 months ago, I got the chance from a fairly well known supplement company, to do some fitness modelling, however, this obviously meant me getting into very sharp condition and shape. So for the last 7-8 months I have been dieting, training and basically being very, very ‘anal’ and obsessed with dieting and training.
Some of you may have read my post here… http://www.professionalmuscle.com/forums/professional-muscle-forum/64675-am-i-too-deep-my-diet.html
This was during my ‘dieting’ phase.
In the last 7-8 months I have got very ripped, had the photoshoot and sent the photos to the supplement company I was talking with. I had to wait an extra 6-8 weeks as the guy who was in charge was busy with other ventures, which meant that I had an extra 6-8 weeks of being very ‘anal’ and basically maintaining my shape, condition and look, which again consisted of very low calories, whilst trying to keep my strength up in the gym.
My strength has plummeted in the gym. In total I lost around 54lbs, and im pretty sure there is some lean mass in there that I have lost too.
For the past 2 months (basically, whilst I have been waiting to hear back from the main guy at the supplement company), my health seems to have really been affected. Cold all the time, depressed, look terrible, feel terrible, and generally miserable. But no, I had to stay with it and make sure my abs weren’t blurred and to make sure my striations were as I wanted them to be.
However, Reality hit this morning, when training at a new gym that I may hit up in future. Took my main top off, so I was training in my vest (helps me to see muscles contracting, etc…) After completing the set, I stood for a moment and looked ahead into the mirror. “Is that really me” was my first thought, and I looked again, at my neck, my face, and my lack of width. I looked skinny, looked like i had lost muscle, looked like my neck was very thin, and generally never looked like i had touched a weight in my life.
It has been on my mind ever since I left the gym, and it has depressed me for most of the day. Add to this the fact that I have already been feeling quite low as a result of how much strength I have lost during dieting, it has left me not really knowing what to do next.
I now appreciate that I do not have the muscle and lean mass to pull off low bodyfat levels, and that is me being my own critic.
I just really wanted to get this off my chest. I think I need to re-evaluate things.
I have 'given up' a lot in recent years in order to make sure my training has been consistent, and that my diet was clean, clean, clean. I think I need to re-evaluate, Will i ever step on a bodybuilding stage, no, I wont, I started training with weights because I loved it, but it has kind of taken over my life, and everything is directed towards it.
I know this is a very deep and reflective post, but if anyone has any words to input I would love to hear them.
As above, i know you guys are at a very different level, you all have amazing physiques, very strong, and what i have written wont apply to you but im sure some of you may know where i am speaking from.
Thank you for reading.