03/23/01

[mrsoul]

since i always appreciare it when members share their personal lives on the board, i thought it would be fitting to post that today is my seventh year anniversary of being clean and sober. seven years ago today i was detoxing cold turkey in a state funded treatment facility which had no medical detox! it was my sevebth treatment center as a heroin addict/ alcholic. since im have surrendered and worked the steps with a sponsor, God has relieved me og the obsession to drink and drug and truly blessed my life. i have gone from being homeless to owning my own home. from hopeless to gratefull aand from lonely to loved. i have a beautifull wife, a 1 1/2 year old son and my dad who i am responsible for every gray hair in his head lives with me too. after 5 years sober, my wife gave birth to our twin boys Ethan and Evan prematurely. our sons weighed 1 lb 10oz. and 1 lb 13.oz. they lfought for 20 and 25 days before passing. i have never fely that kind of pain before, even when my mother died when i was 9, this was the hardest thing i had ever faced. i was angry, depressed and just really useless, but i never thought about taking a drink. a year after our sons passed i stood in the operating room with my wife again and this time the doctor pulled out a giant! 9 lbs 3 oz.!! we drove by the cemetary where our sons are buried today. i miss them so much. every time my son calls me daddy i remember how truly blessed i am to have a healthy, happy son. i am a little emotional and proabably rambling, but i felt like opening up, which is hard for me but a little easier to do on the computer. hope this gives a glimpse into who i am. i know it is hard to tell who we are when we are debating over supplements, training or food!!
anyway thanks guys and gals of pm!!

 

[gorgeousfrankenstein]

Hey, NICE job man. Thanks for sharing

 

[Boo]

Thats beautiful Bro.

I am on the bottle now . . . I don't think it's too much. 12-14 beers a day. I hope it passes. You are an inspiration.

Bill

 

[GetBigger83]

i am truely sorry for ur loss bro but it is nothing less than amazing at how you turned ur life around. thanx for sharing.

 

[babygetoboy]

I am currently about a week clean from a heroin addiction, and just want to say thanks for showing that it's possible.

 

[Kcm3000]

wow man thats truely inspiring. i just had a tear in my eye. happy easter bro

 

[bigshadow]

Congratulations Man and Thank You for sharing... I think you will find a few guys on the board who have fought with addiction (myself included). Its stories like this that give a lot of others hope...which is such an awesome thing. Definitely a Hero in my book.

 

[AWN2004]

Thats really good to hear man. Happy Easter bro!

 

[buffbabeca]

Mrsoul first and foremost thank you for sharing with the board. Your story may just help someone here reading and thinking they cant do it. I am sorry for the loss of your twins but it was their time and Gods will... he wanted them in heaven and who are we to argue with his plan. Your son is here because of your twins... they are his guardian angels... and if u ever see him looking around and just giggling.. its because he sees them

 

[exorcist1]

thank you for sharing that.... God bless you....

 

[MAINEVENT]

MrSoul,
First and formost, I am sorry for the loss of your twins. I can not image how devastating that is. I commend you for having the strength to divulge such personal information and tragedy. There are times when I have wanted to do the same thing, but did not have the strength to post because I didn't want people to think less of me. Im glad you found happiness in your life and were able to take such a dark things and turn your life into a sucess.

 

[mrsoul]

Mrsoul first and foremost thank you for sharing with the board. Your story may just help someone here reading and thinking they cant do it. I am sorry for the loss of your twins but it was their time and Gods will... he wanted them in heaven and who are we to argue with his plan. Your son is here because of your twins... they are his guardian angels... and if u ever see him looking around and just giggling.. its because he sees them

my wife and i always say he has the souls of his brothers in him. he is the happiest baby in the world and there are times i walk by his room and he is just playing and talking up a blue streak and i will think the twins are entertaining him! thanks to everyone for there kind words and i am glad that those of you who have struggled with addiction can see that there is a way out. please pm me and i wille more than happy to share with you. and main, it is hard and draining to pour out something like this but it was spilling over in other areas of my life. after i typed it, i just sat at my computer and cried. i already feel better and hopefully i am healing a little more. i used to try to be all tough and just suck it up, but that does not work for me anymore. thanks again !!

 

[thebrick]

wow mrsoul, I have to say you have my total respect. You have pulled yourself from a dark dead-end life and into a positive life. I am so sorry for the loss of your twins. I know how you feel. I lost a son when he was 16 months old. That was over 20 years ago and I still think of Derek often to this day. No parent should have to watch their own child die. The pain is like no other. It never goes away completely but time makes it a little better. At least I can think about him and not cry now. And I can take comfort knowing he passed peacefully. The fact that you did not stumble during that time shows your strength. PM me anytime if you need to talk about it.

 

[oldfella]

As Brick said, I too have much respect for you and congrats on hitting number seven! This is a great story which all should read. Thank you MRSOUL for sharing this intimate piece of your life with us here. Continue the journey my friend and we are all behind you in this!!

 

[michelin]

Thats a powerful story, wasn't expecting it but it hit pretty hard bro.

Thanks for sharing it with us and full on respect to you.

 

[mrsoul]

i really appreciate you guys! thanks.

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

MrSoul, your constant hard work and determination to make yourself a better person has been shown off time and time again with your posts. I would have never of known about your falling some years ago had you of not mentioned it. Just goes to show you bro, good things that come out of you will always squash the negative thing that went into you! Keep it up bro! God Bless!




(feel free to use that in your signature if you want bro)

 

[lucian]

,,,,

bro,
congrats on the 7 years. thats great. i too have battled some big demona dn am winning. not sure how long i have ben sober but....its bee about 5 years. keep up the great work. stay strong....and when all else fails.....you have us. we are always here.
god bless
lucian

 

[mrsoul]

bro,
congrats on the 7 years. thats great. i too have battled some big demona dn am winning. not sure how long i have ben sober but....its bee about 5 years. keep up the great work. stay strong....and when all else fails.....you have us. we are always here.
god bless
lucian

thanks boom and lucian!!

 

[StoryOfTheYear]

Hey mrsoul. I too have battled with addiction since I was about twelve. I've been in and out of treatment centers, detox and jails. Wrecked so any vehicles, lost trust in good friends, had good friends die due to drug-related incidents and just really didn't care about anything. I never knew how to live without drugs in my life. Right now I'm coming up on six months clean! -StOrY