At one time it was pretty much an obsession. Naturally being OCD I take some things to the extreme. I've never been outgoing or overly friendly....i have an addictive personality....if I didnt have the backbone of the "lifestyle" id probably be hooked on God knows what or in jail....in the last year or so I have definitely throttled back a bit....mostly due in part to my fiancee.....not changing for her..but changing because she makes me want to be a better person...she accepts me for my faults, I hold no secrets...im not sure I really answered your question ...ha ha