2025/26 offseason log (sporadic)

[massephase]

99.8kg today

Push1 yesterday
reverse pec dec - 3 sets
incline smith - 3 plates x9, backoff 2 1/2 plates Rest pause set -> I discount the 3 plates for ten I did recently because I was taking anadrol during that time lol. So disregarding that set, this was 2 reps up
nautilus flat plate loaded - top set, backoff rest pause set
cable fly - 3x8-15
db lateral - x3, last one with a drop set
dips - +45lbs x 9, x7, then finish off with as many reps as possible with bodyweight
overhead triceps extension x2
Icarian standing calf - two topsets, two backoff sets

I feel like my body has finally stabilized with the current hormones - I will admit, I am blasting a good amount right now. High Test, high eq, a little deca and a vial of optis a day.

 

[massephase]

So ... my fasting and postprandial blood sugar is running a little too high for my liking the last couple of days. I admit it, I slacked on the cardio - laziness is definitely my biggest issue in the offseason lol.
Upping the steps (adding another 30 minute walk in the evening) and treadmill time and let's see where it gets me in a week or so. If it doesn't come down, I will lower the gh to 8iu or so (optis are 12/vial).

 

[madg]

So ... my fasting and postprandial blood sugar is running a little too high for my liking the last couple of days. I admit it, I slacked on the cardio - laziness is definitely my biggest issue in the offseason lol.
Upping the steps (adding another 30 minute walk in the evening) and treadmill time and let's see where it gets me in a week or so. If it doesn't come down, I will lower the gh to 8iu or so (optis are 12/vial).

10k step ed

30 min cardio

Im sure it will come down , you got this

 

[massephase]

99.5kg today. That is despite some good calorie bumps recently. I am now eating 420p, 550c, 30f on training days which is 4100kcal counted from macros only. I don't really see myself upping the protein any further, it feels like a good amount to me. I am not bloated and digestion is okay.

About the glucose: I halved my gh for 4 days and my glucose went right back to normal levels - fasting bg around 85 and postprandial never over 120, even after 200g carbs in one sitting. - So the reason was simply the gh. If I want to take more gh, I will have to manage it better.

Training is going well - I just need to pace myself and take more rest days/ do less sets and intensifiers, which is always hard for me.

Today was LEGS. First time using the Atlantis hack - I had to get a little creative and modify it with some plates and a wood block so I can fail it on my own. I managed to set up a stopper right below my turnaround point in the bottom. I am fucking paranoid about getting stuck in a hack squat, so I need to be 100% vertain I can fail it safely by myself or I won't go hard ... and if I can not go hard, there is no sense in doing it. That being said, I absolutely loved it! Much better than the cybex for me.

Another thing I needed to change was the seated leg curl machine - I don't know if its a mental block, but I got hurt on the flex hamtractor and whenever I use it now, I swear I can feel my hamstring is about to pop again. So yeah, I am not going to be using this thing for now. Fortunately for me, we have 4 different seated ham curls, two of which are cybex machines, so I am good on that front.

session went like this:
Icarian standing calves - top set 14 reps, backoff 10
cybex eagle seated ham curl - x2, drop
atlantis hack - 5 1/2 plates per side x 11, x7 then took two plates off and repped it to failure
-> I am starting to really figure out how to do the hack squat targeting the quads. I get the feeling that when you do it right (for me that means shifting the weight to the balls of the feet in the bottom and then pushing it up the same way, with the weight transferred more towards the toes), it almost feels like a leg extension ... only with crazy heavy weight. So perfect, really satisfied with this. Also no knee pain - usually I get knee pain when using the hack as a first quad exercise

leg extension - top set 10 reps, backoff 10reps
gym 80 adductor - two topsets, last one with partials and static hold
cybex standing leg curl - this was unnecesary, I will put a hip thrust here instead next time
ab cable cruns - 3x 8-15

 

[massephase]

Something else I wanted to mention:
I can't be the only one that feels great on higher estrogen (50+) . It is literally an antidepressant for me. I currently take 1200 test without an AI and I feel so much better without the AI, ignoring the physical sides like bloat and blood pressure. I'd rather manage those with medications specific to them and diet than with an AI, just because I feel like shit when I push estrogen down. It kills my libido and emotions and estrogen does the exact opposite - it makes me feel a lot more like myself, relaxed, calm, confident, energetic. I wish I could take it lower, because it obviously gives a better look and it seems like it changes fat distribution ... but I simply can not stand feeling like shit, especially not outside of a diet. Leaving it alone makes my life 10 times more tolerable

 

[massephase]

.

 

[massephase]

Little update:
224 this morning. I shaved and was pretty suprised to see that I am still quite lean. Some more fat on the legs and back but I have never been past 220 at this leanness, so I think I did quite well coming out of this diet. I will post some pics on sunday or monday when my gf is back home and can finish the shave

I finally managed to fix my issue with staying asleep in the early morning - the reason seems to be the GH. When I pin it at night, I wake up with a high heart rate and very stressed at 5 or 6 AM. I have no clue why this happens, but it seems to throw something off with my natural sleep cycle. So I am back to pinning it all in the morning and I can finally sleep as long as I need to.

Eating wise, I feel like I can eat a house right now and still wake up hungry. Calories just dissappear into a void on some days, so I started doing unplanned "high days". So on a training day where I wake up very hungry, I will eat more carbs with two to three meals and use rapid insulin with those. I figured out that doing that has an awesome effect on my look, as long as the total calories don't go too high for the week from it. So I am trial and erroring this shit, which honestly is a lot of fun ... No spreadsheets or calculations, I just have my base plan to which I add food here and there and then I eat stuff on top as long as I can get away with it.

No training today, just running some errands around the house and trying to relax.

 

[massephase]

220 today. feeling good - feeling good with the higher estrogen. At first I struggled with the extra water retention, heart rate was running a little high and I didn't feel very healthy but yesterday and today everything felt okay.

LEGS today
cybex adductor x2, last set with drop and partials
flex hamtractor x2 - higher rep and being very careful. I am leaving out the top end of the range of motion and try to not be explosive at all ... felt okay
atlantis hack - two topsets
nebula leg press - this doesn't feel good on my knees after the hack, so it has to go. Maybe I will just do more sets on the hack, or use another leg press that feels better. my knees need to hold, so everything that aggrevates them needs to be erased from the program
cybex leg extension - two sets
cybex hip thrust - one top, two backoff. Trying to keep the feet further away from the hip to hit hamstrings more, which worked really well
single arm scott curl - 3 sets
leg raise - 2 sets
cable crunches - 3 sets

And man, I am fucking starving. I did get some extra sleep the last couple of days, that is probably the reason for my metabolism running higher.

 

[massephase]

So, a more or less depressing update from me.

In the last weeks I ran into heart issues. This is the second time in 12 months I have had these issues. Both times I came out of a diet, gained a bunch of weight and blasted high amounts of test and gh.
I have already had an echo, and my LVEF is reduced to 48-50% again. I do have symptoms - tachycardia, chest tightness, dizziness (and "trouble breathing" ... nothing serious, but I am out of breath lying down from time to time). They did not find any apparent cause for the reduced heart function - there is no hypertrophy, no arrhythmia, no other structural abnormalities - I basically have a normal heart, but the systolic function is reduced ... which is why the cardiologist wants to check for damage to the heart muscle, from a past myocarditis or a similar cause.

Bodybuilding has been a huge part of my life for the last three years. If you asked my significant other, she would probably tell you it was my life. So this is hard to deal with mentally, but I have to come to grips with the fact that I may not be cut out to be 230, 240, 250 lbs. I think this could have been prevented with a more careful approach, both in regards to weight gain post diet and most importantly in regards to drugs. But even then - having such predispositions, I really struggle with the idea of chasing size any further - even though I believe quantity of life is not something worth chasing at the cost of having fun and "living your dreams" ... I also do not want to drop dead at 40, or worse, live with a serious heart condition that results in a seriously impaired quality of life for 30 years.

So as you can see, I am struggling with it a lot, which is only natural if your biggest motivator for getting out of bed in the morning suddenly falls away. ... Which is why I will not let it go.

For now, I am trying to reframe the goal of what I am doing with this. I will not stop training and I will not stop eating like a bodybuilder. I can't. So my goal for now is to get back down to 200lbs ~8-9% and then maintain that state for the time being. This will be a fun challenge, and I won't need a lot of drugs to do it. And most importanly, it will take the stress of my heart being a lot lighter, all the while being pretty fucking impressive still. And if I can maintain such a condition, then I can think about gaining small amounts of weight again, but this is "music of the future", as we say in Germany. For now the goal is to get healthy again.

 

[massephase]

I also have to apologize to Luki for fucking it up so badly. He dieted me down in a very responsible manner and instead of seeing it out with him, I became impatient and went ahead on my own. I am sure I would not be in the place I am now had I stayed with him, because his approach would have been a lot more sane and careful.

 

[massephase]

Another update.

I went to a different cardiologist today, and it looks like I do not have a reduced LVEF/ Heart failure at all. After just a little amount of stress (standing up and walking around), my ejection fraction went from 49 to 59 precent. He also examined my carotid artery and told me it looks pristine - apparently you would see some plaque there if you had a general issue with arteriosclerosis.

What he did find is an enlarged heart. He told me it was borderline, but nonetheless. An MRI is not needed in his opinion. He was very open about everything and just in general a very bright guy, so I am glad I finally found a good cardiologist to revisit. His recommendation was, of course, to take stress of the heart by going off steroids and losing weight.

In the last days, my RHR has actually calmed down quite a bit. Just sitting on the couch in the evening, it's now in the mid 60s, so I am hopeful that this will resolve quickly and with a more careful approach in the future, I can continue this.

 

[massephase]

He also suggested we do a CT Angiogram at some point due to my fathers early heart issues/ early death. So it looks like I found a good doc and it looks like I dodged a bullet.
Fingers crossed.

I have been taking off training for almost two weeks now, which was great. Had time to think about my life some - but I can't fucking wait to get back to the gym on saturday

 

[Spiro]

How much do you weight currently?

 

[massephase]

How much do you weight currently?

215-218lbs.

 

[massephase]

Update..

I am feeling better, but still not 100%. My heart rate is still elevated at times, and I am dizzy here and there. I try not to worry too much, now that I've been examined by two cardiologists that weren't overly worried and instead just focus on my current goal, which is to get down to 8% bodyfat again. For that, I am using minimal gear and - obviously - no fat burners.
Steps and cardio are back in place - which is where they should've stayed in the first place.

Yesterday was quads - so I am suffering today, because I just had a 14 day break from training them and of course I went totally crazy lol. I have never had it that I have issues sitting down on the toilet on the same day that I trained, so I am expecting a couple of painful days ahead.

 

[massephase]

Feeling pretty good. No more chest pain, no more dizziness for the last two days. Heart rate has normalized and is dropping down into the high 50s at night.

So as I said, the first (and easiest) step is getting back in shape. Here's my macro breakdown for week 1 of the cut (training day on top and rest day at the bottom):