.gif "IP Gear")
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Messages
- 1,148
I got this off another website. I thought the bros here at promuscle would like to ready it. Pretty funny shit.
Maverick
Thirty things porno producers would have us believe...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman, 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with
sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in
the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. When two men are tag-teaming a girl, they always "high five" each
other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes,
the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove
your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by
giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses always suck patients' cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to
remind
her to "suck it."
26. Assholes are always clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's
trousers
and find a cock there
29. Men don't have to beg.
And finally...
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand
firmly
on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his
hip
Maverick
Thirty things porno producers would have us believe...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman, 10 secs is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with
sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar
solo in
the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. When two men are tag-teaming a girl, they always "high five" each
other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the
bushes,
the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove
your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by
giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses always suck patients' cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend,
she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to
remind
her to "suck it."
26. Assholes are always clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all
parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's
trousers
and find a cock there
29. Men don't have to beg.
And finally...
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand
firmly
on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his
hip
