a bit on the down side

jimboslice · Oct 25, 2008

I had this weird gut feeling something wasn't right early on this week and I noticed little stuff that made me think that. Well the girlfriend of over a year has been staying at this friend of her's apt and hanging out with him and other friends. Well i'm sure everyone here knows when a guy friend is trying to be more than just a friend. This guy would leave fifty billion comments on her facebook and call and text and annoying shit Anyways, I only see her on the weekends and she came down here today and I happened to see she's been erasing her texts. This time she forgot to erase her inbox and this guy texted her saying how he likes her and how he's willing to wait and other shit. I confront her bout it and she's got like this stunned look to her face. She says... well i knew you snoop through my stuff and it makes me mad that's why i did that. I was like you fucked up, is that all you got to say to that. So I confront her and say the time is now if you got somethin to say or you want to be single. She says no and says she wants me. Well Im a bit down cuz i didn't see this coming and theres more stuff to the way she was acting that just didn't add up, like there was more to it. She does have guy friends so thats normal, but this gut feeling has got me down and i can't shake it. I think im just gonna try and drink it away and watch the ufc tonight. anybody thinkin im just over reacting on being down about this

gordo14 · Oct 27, 2008

My thoughts....

There will always be dogs who will pusue your women. We all have been one at different times in our lives. The key here is to make sure that you are making her happy. As long as you both are happy and confident in this relationship you shouldn't worry. Now from the history you just gave, it sounds as if she is on the fence about being with you. If you have never been the over reactive jealous type, and your gut is telling you somethings up....then i would listen to my gut. Women are usually done with a relationship 1-2 months before they break it off. They like to have there ducks in a row if you know what i mean. So just keep showing her how much you care, and want to be with her, but don't drop your gaurd cuzz if she decides to dump ya it sounds like she'll have a new man in a matter of minutes.

j8282 · Oct 27, 2008

I would think if she didnt care to tell you about some guy texting her she must like it. If you had some girl horrasing you, wouldnt you tell her? How ofter do you guys talk? I would try ignoring her for a day to see how she reacts. For me (a guy) being ignored is the worse thing and gets me scared and makes me come running back. Most guys like me have bad intentions so I would be cautious. Remember she is probably able to see him alot more than you.

OuchThatHurts · Oct 27, 2008

jimboslice said:
I had this weird gut feeling something wasn't right early on this week and I noticed little stuff that made me think that. Well the girlfriend of over a year has been staying at this friend of her's apt and hanging out with him and other friends. Well i'm sure everyone here knows when a guy friend is trying to be more than just a friend. This guy would leave fifty billion comments on her facebook and call and text and annoying shit Anyways, I only see her on the weekends and she came down here today and I happened to see she's been erasing her texts. This time she forgot to erase her inbox and this guy texted her saying how he likes her and how he's willing to wait and other shit. I confront her bout it and she's got like this stunned look to her face. She says... well i knew you snoop through my stuff and it makes me mad that's why i did that. I was like you fucked up, is that all you got to say to that. So I confront her and say the time is now if you got somethin to say or you want to be single. She says no and says she wants me. Well Im a bit down cuz i didn't see this coming and theres more stuff to the way she was acting that just didn't add up, like there was more to it. She does have guy friends so thats normal, but this gut feeling has got me down and i can't shake it. I think im just gonna try and drink it away and watch the ufc tonight. anybody thinkin im just over reacting on being down about this

You'll feel better after you've found somebody new. Staying at her friends? Texting little notes back and forth? Facebook?

Does not sound good. I can understand being down. You're bound to feel down for a little while but I think you'll be much happier when you've found something more than a see-you-on-the-weekend girlfriend.

Even though there may not have been any physical contact yet, the fact that she's hiding things and speaking intimately with someone else should be enough for you get on your bike and ride.

jimboslice · Oct 27, 2008

yea guys, i think your right but i really love this girl and even after confronting her she still denied it. i gave her a way out and said just tell me the truth. well i just happened to log in her facebook and im sure she doesn't know i know the password, but i went to the guys profile and seen all the stuff she's been putting. Just flirting back and forth and a few things that could mean something but pretty much it was enough to hurt. Still she keeps texting me during the day saying i love you and miss you and stuff. Doesn't make sense to me but i tried to block it all out and go to the gym. I could barely get 3 sets of bench in.... but regardless thanks guys for tuning in it makes it a lot easier to go through.

cpesloco · Oct 28, 2008

if you just want to be plain sneaky and see all the times and who she texts then the next time she is staying with you and is sleeping or something...goto your pc, sign on to her carriers webpage request to sign up to view the account. it will text you a pw. right it down and delete it from her phone.

you now have full access to her phone records. if you feel you need to get more proof.

this chick did it to my boy and blasted him.

gordo14 · Oct 28, 2008

There ya go............

That is priceless! Thats how i get my girl caught up all the time.

oldfella · Oct 29, 2008

cpesloco said:
if you just want to be plain sneaky and see all the times and who she texts then the next time she is staying with you and is sleeping or something...goto your pc, sign on to her carriers webpage request to sign up to view the account. it will text you a pw. right it down and delete it from her phone.

you now have full access to her phone records. if you feel you need to get more proof.

this chick did it to my boy and blasted him.

Call it old fashioned or whatever, but if you need to resort to being your own private detective and have those sort of trust issues/violations going on I would be questioning my existance in that relationship anyway Hey it is evidence gathering for sure but why be in a relationship if you have these issues or lack of trust? It would be better to find someone else to be with that you don't feel that way about wouldn't it? Once a relationship has broken down to peeping around corners, following someone around and monitoring their phone calls I would say it is at an end!!!!

confuzed_guy2000 · Oct 29, 2008

jimboslice said:
I had this weird gut feeling something wasn't right early on this week and I noticed little stuff that made me think that. Well the girlfriend of over a year has been staying at this friend of her's apt and hanging out with him and other friends. Well i'm sure everyone here knows when a guy friend is trying to be more than just a friend. This guy would leave fifty billion comments on her facebook and call and text and annoying shit Anyways, I only see her on the weekends and she came down here today and I happened to see she's been erasing her texts. This time she forgot to erase her inbox and this guy texted her saying how he likes her and how he's willing to wait and other shit. I confront her bout it and she's got like this stunned look to her face. She says... well i knew you snoop through my stuff and it makes me mad that's why i did that. I was like you fucked up, is that all you got to say to that. So I confront her and say the time is now if you got somethin to say or you want to be single. She says no and says she wants me. Well Im a bit down cuz i didn't see this coming and theres more stuff to the way she was acting that just didn't add up, like there was more to it. She does have guy friends so thats normal, but this gut feeling has got me down and i can't shake it. I think im just gonna try and drink it away and watch the ufc tonight. anybody thinkin im just over reacting on being down about this

Go with your gut. God gives us intuition for a reason. If you think there is more to it than there probably is. In the best case scenerio, she isn't doing anything but the way she treats you and the disrespect she shows for you and your relationship is outta line. Make a break and find someone that doesn't leave this kind of doubt in your mind.

jimboslice · Oct 29, 2008

yea, see I just want to make the right decision. My big thing on holding off making any decision yet is in the past every relationship I've been in I've been cheated on so I'm a little jumpy about things. I used to be somewhat jealous but now I'm not anymore. I just wanna make sure it's not me over reacting and just worrying to much because of that. Since saturday though everything seems to be going much better but I would like to talk to her bout this guy. I'm just trying to find a way to say hey, I dont appreciate you talkin to this guy cuz he hits on you constantly. I don't want to come off as jealous just want to make her realize it's not cool with me.

confuzed_guy2000 · Oct 29, 2008

jimboslice said:
yea, see I just want to make the right decision. My big thing on holding off making any decision yet is in the past every relationship I've been in I've been cheated on so I'm a little jumpy about things. I used to be somewhat jealous but now I'm not anymore. I just wanna make sure it's not me over reacting and just worrying to much because of that. Since saturday though everything seems to be going much better but I would like to talk to her bout this guy. I'm just trying to find a way to say hey, I dont appreciate you talkin to this guy cuz he hits on you constantly. I don't want to come off as jealous just want to make her realize it's not cool with me.

I can appreciate that - been there, done that as well. Maybe you really like this one, maybe your gut is wrong this time, maybe... I wish you the best 'cause it's hard to let go of someone you really like. Just remember the only one that can change the way she is is her. Sure, talk about it and see how it goes but don't let her make you feel bad about yourself in the process. Like I said, when it's right you most likely wont be put in a position like this but I've been there as well. Take care.

oldfella · Oct 29, 2008

jimboslice said:
yea, see I just want to make the right decision. My big thing on holding off making any decision yet is in the past every relationship I've been in I've been cheated on so I'm a little jumpy about things. I used to be somewhat jealous but now I'm not anymore. I just wanna make sure it's not me over reacting and just worrying to much because of that. Since saturday though everything seems to be going much better but I would like to talk to her bout this guy. I'm just trying to find a way to say hey, I dont appreciate you talkin to this guy cuz he hits on you constantly. I don't want to come off as jealous just want to make her realize it's not cool with me.

AS you talking to us this way so you should also be talking to your girl just like this. Straight up, open and honest. At least you are being truthful and exposing your real feelings to her, something she should find refreshing as many men rarely open up at any level. But just pick a time and sit down with her and discuss your feelings and hers. be prepared to listen to hers as well. it is called open communication. Any serious relationship needs this. The longer you bottle this up the worse it will get. Just come out with it, be patient, listen and then have a laugh about it as you kiss her and make it all good.

juced_porkchop · Oct 29, 2008

look
this guy wants to be more then a friend right .
and shed STILL talking to him!

ill tell me gf look i know u got guy friends but what the FUCK the guy only hits on you and you stay at his place!! wtf is that .
im sorry but thats not right i dont got girlfriends trying to fuck me and me still talk to them. i tell em i have a gf and im happy"

somthing like thats id say to my gf and kinda have but it was a bit diff sich.
my gf sleepin at soem guys hous ethats her friend but i know is trying get with her!? heh fat chance or she's gone if she dont respect how i feel about it because i would not do that to her .
and her hiding it ontop of it! already a recipy for bullshit.

keep eyes oepn and no i dont think you over reacting from what you told me i would have already made my mind up and had a seriose talk with her and state "its me or him" but in a much more suddle way

sry but this struck a nerv on me and its just bull shit.
if theres no trust and already lieing
then what the heck if point of continuing it?

talk to her and let he rknwo how u feel agen.
nvm the o you shouldent been lookin in my phone you had a gut feeling cuzz she been acting weird and u went on it and you WHERE right.
she will try mak eit a its you bull shit dont let her.

if you ask me and i knwo this is harsh i think she fucked him he wants her and probibly feels bad now.
dose she drink? dose she drunk and sleep at his house?
hope not
anyway i hope im wrong but thats what id be thinkin.
she might kiss other guys ass so he dont coem tell you or somthing. thow this is just storys in my head so w/e

juced_porkchop · Oct 29, 2008

oldfella said:
AS you talking to us this way so you should also be talking to your girl just like this. Straight up, open and honest. At least you are being truthful and exposing your real feelings to her, something she should find refreshing as many men rarely open up at any level. But just pick a time and sit down with her and discuss your feelings and hers. be prepared to listen to hers as well. it is called open communication. Any serious relationship needs this. The longer you bottle this up the worse it will get. Just come out with it, be patient, listen and then have a laugh about it as you kiss her and make it all good.

you put it better then me lol nicer anyway

jimboslice · Oct 29, 2008

nah, she doesn't drink. rarely does she drink she's the sober one 99% of the time.

mike1107 · Oct 29, 2008

bro, not trying to be hard, but I wouldn't accept that

if she continues to keep contact then give her the choice : you or him

but I dot think you can accept and live something like that, it will only make u feel bad and full of doubts

EndGame · Oct 29, 2008

Bro tell her that you don't like that shit and if she doesnt cut it out then she will be replaced. Rule number one never let her think that you need her, because if you do she will have you in her pocket. All the text bullshit is disrespectful and should not be tolerated. You can find a ton of chicks that will respect you brotha.

jimboslice · Oct 29, 2008

yea guys i know somethings gotta give,I want to at least make it through her birthday and our anniversary this weekend and then bring it up. As sad as this may sound I'm not gonna let this get into a big fight if I find out this is true I'm just gonna suck it up walk away and not fight. I love her too much to fight with her, just ain't worth it. but I'll let you guys know how this guys after this weekend.

alecaf · Oct 29, 2008

jimboslice said:
yea guys i know somethings gotta give,I want to at least make it through her birthday and our anniversary this weekend and then bring it up. As sad as this may sound I'm not gonna let this get into a big fight if I find out this is true I'm just gonna suck it up walk away and not fight. I love her too much to fight with her, just ain't worth it. but I'll let you guys know how this guys after this weekend.

Bro you really are a good guy. Im the kind that would break up with her from pure speculation and then regret it. I think the decision you've made is honorable and makes you look like more of a man than any other decision. And lol at the last sentence, that motherfucker deserves an ass whooping if you ask me, he knows she's taken and still is playing this game. Lots of luck bro, you know what you gotta do depending on the outcome and good will come out of this.

RONJON · Oct 30, 2008

A little late on the reply but here is how i see it.. If I was in your shoes and I found out my girl was involved with someone behind my back then it would be over right then and there. There has to be a mutual respect IMO and I know if I do that to her then I cant blame her if she wants out...so I can expect my girl to be faithful or its DONE. Just my 2 cents bro

RONJON