a funny my brother sent me via text message lol

[JustWannaBeHuge]

A guy is in a store and a beautiful woman smiles at him and says hello, he says "do I know you?" She says "you're the father of one of my kids." He thinks back on the time he cheated on his wife and says "Are you the stripper I fucked in front of all my buddies in Vegas?" She's shock and looks at him and says "No I'm your son's math teacher!"

lol, i'm easily amused.

 

[terryd5150]

LMAO. I better remember that one!

 

[oldfella]

Good one!!

 

[Tom]

Good one here's my favorite...

A penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road.

The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk.

He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would really hit the spot, since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all. He sat down at the counter and started in on his ice cream. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess. He walked back to the service station and said to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?"

The mechanic replied, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

"No no," said the penguin. "It's just ice cream."

 

[hiddenbelow]

A penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road.

The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk.

He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would really hit the spot, since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all. He sat down at the counter and started in on his ice cream. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess. He walked back to the service station and said to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?"

The mechanic replied, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

"No no," said the penguin. "It's just ice cream."

Yeah thats some funny shit

DW

 

[DOGMA]

This old man was sitting on a park bench when this punk rock type kid come's up and sit's down next to him, you know the kind with the multicolored spiked mohawk, peircing's torn up balck clothes ect. The old man look's at him and starts to chuckle and when not being able to control is laughter the punk look's next to him and say's "what the fuck are you laughing at old man"
The old man composes him self and say's well about 25yrs ago I got drunk in Key West and fucked a parrot and I wondrered if you were my son.

 

[bauer72]

thats hilarious!