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A little too much free time...

lilkoreangirl

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Ode to the bodybuilder's girlfriend

Tammy Wynette's Stand By Your Man as seen by a bodybuilder's girlfriend...

In an ideal world, life is as easy as the song says--stand by your man. In real life, however, relationships are hard work. Anyone that disagrees is either young, inexperienced, or both. Don't get me wrong, loving someone isn't the hard part. It's looking past each other's faults and differences, accepting them, and trying to find a way to make your lives work together, despite them, that is.

The life of a bodybuilder's girlfriend is much in tuned with wha the song expresses. It says, "You'll have bad times and he'll have good times." Doesn't seem very fair does it? But life's not fari. Why should love be any different? We bear the brint of their problems, especially pre-contest. And, who else is better suited to do so? We are the ones closest to the flame, of course we get burned the most. Everyone else may see an insulin crash here, a bit of road rage there, but we walk through fire day-in-day-out.

Tammy goes on further to sing that he'll be, "Doin' things you don't understand." We've all been there for this. All of the sudden everything we do is the exact opposite of what they need. We can't get anything said or done correctly and the world is going to end almost every hour on the hour due to one thing or another. Sound familiar? That's right gentelmen--we don't understand. We don't understand what to do when everything we try is wrong. We don't know what to say when everytime we speak we're shot down. We do understand, however, how we feel around this behavior...

The song's next two lines define the relationship's existence. "But if you love him, you'll forgive him." I once read that if you want to go on with someone you have to forgive them. Not because you love them, but because you can't harbor animosity and go on happily. How true is that? The trick is deciding how much we can forgive. One part of us says, I love him, I'll deal with this for several reasons: It's temporary, this isn't the real him, he loves me, etc. The other part says, who does he think he is? The smart part of us recognizes that to love someone is to accept them--all of them. I am the first to say how much easier said than done his is, but what can you do when you love someone? We can't just run away from every argument, disappointment and discouragement we encounter. If we did, we'd find the same and heartaches elsewhere in some form or fashion. It's worth it to work it out, even if it seems that we're only one's working for the time being.

The next line in the son, "And if you love him, oh be proud of him" speaks volumes. IN spite of his pre-contest-ness, this is our time to show support--even though we feel like they don't appreciate it. "Be proud of him" To me that not only means picking up the pieces if he doesn't place where he wanted to or celebrating with him if he does, but also encouraging his performance at the next show. Lifting him up and not letting him sink too low. I'm not trying to add to our pre-contest duties, but that's what we do. Not because we signed up for it or we like it, but because it's what this life, which we choose everyday that we stay--calls for.

"Cause after all he's just a man." This can be taken in many ways. I'll take it as he is what he is until he's something different. Meaning that we know how he can be and we accept it. We may not like it, but in staying we accept it. HE's just a man. MEaning, he's people too. He's at neither end of the spectrum. He's just a man. A person. Someone who goes through highs and lows like the rest of us. Now, it could also be taken in a very stereo-typical-like manner in which the perspective of him being "just a man" reflects the thought that he doesn't know any better because he is a man. I find this a little degrading, but I see some sense in the thought process. The process being that sterotypical men are brought up to take everything at face value. For example, when we make turkey for dinner instead of chicken. Off-season boyfriend's response is, "cool, whatever!" Pre-contest boyfriend's response, however, is, "!@#$% I said chicken!" Now, pre-contest boyfriend isn't trying to hurt our feelings, or offend us, or show us disrespect, he's just trying to convey that he really wanted/needs chicken for his meal. We, of course, burst into tears or fly off the handle in response and take it as, "he's a jerk, he doesn't appreciate me, who does he think he is?, etc." My point: "He's just a man" can mean just take what he says at face value. Try this. Write what he says on paper without any punctuation. Is it still offensive? If the answer is no, let it go.

The rest of the song speaks for itself. Hold him. Show the world you love him. Give him all the love you can. We do this naturally. I just thought this song was anecdotal to the situations we face as girlfriends of bodybuilders during contest prep. Hope this resonates with a girlfriend or two out there.

Thanks for reading.

Sometimes it's hard to be a women
Giving all your love to jus one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doin things that you don't understand
But if you love him
You'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh, be proud of him
Cause after all he's just a man

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
when nights are cold and lonely

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
 
good post...
 
I know this is the female forum but your post rocks and i think that it is good advice for both sides male and female and for all aspects of life.Now i gotta go before someone sees me:eek:
 
What a good read LKG. I hope more of the BRO's here get to read this. From the heart!!! Thanks LKG.:D
 
Very good post, and I agree with Tonka it works for both sides, it's a very demanding sport and takes courage, dedication, sacrifices and having someone who stands by you and loves you makes all the difference in the world!! :)
 
Good post!

I can't image a household with both people are getting ready for competitions... oh, my! :eek: lol

I just know I'm a bear when my insulin crashes... I get very ornery. :eek: I can't help it. I can feel it come on, but if I don't get a meal in there is nothing I can do about it. Most people just don't understand it. I think unless you go through it. There is no idea how bad it feels.
 
Great post! Yeah, being a BBers girl can be taxing at times but it is so worth it. I think the best thing that a couple can do is make the prep a team effort. I look at all of his training logs to keep up on the progress, take all the weekly pics, meet with posing coaches, cook all the food, schedule the message work, critique his physique, and whatever else is needed to bring our best. I say our best because when you are involved as much as I am when the show comes it is both of our work that is on that stage, it just happens to be his body. If his goals are as important to you as they are to him you are truly a team and it is a very rewarding experience.
 
and sometimes you just have to nicely ask them to stop being a jerk. It usually calms him down for a few days and makes him think for a second before he opens his mouth.:)
 
What??!!! Who's a jerk? Ooooh, wait til yuo get home...LOL!
 

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