a little warped humor....

makaveli25 · Jun 29, 2009

i grew up around pitbulls my whole life..they are extremely funny,kind,intelligent, and loving animals.. I remeber going on vacation for a week, my parents told me an hour before I got home one of the dogs at about 4am some how sensed that I was coming home. My mom said it was the wierdest thing he got up from his usual night spot and waited for me bye the door eagerly till I got home. Dogs have something very special about them. They have brought a tremendous amount of joy to our family

Pekkerwood · Jun 29, 2009

LATS, that is too much! I can imagine the basket of feelings in that yard between you, kids, dog, and wife.

About three months ago I participated in the murder of an unknow number of baby birds. Coming home one night we heard a "cheep", "cheep" and found baby bird in our driveway. It was dark and with a flashlight my gf could not find the nest. We put it in a shoebox and kept it indoors over night.

The next morning I dug up a couple worms, fed it, and went outside looking in these trees, could not find the nest for anything. I left for work and my gf took a ladder and found the nest high up in a tree along our driveway. I came home from the office and helped with the ladder. As she climbed (shes much smaller than I) the mother and father bird were dive bombing us. As she put the bird over into the nest, two more jumped out, tumbled through the tree and landed on the ground. I hustled to catch them, gave them too her and handed them up. As she replace these two, four total birds jumped out and tumbled to the ground. I could find three. I eventually found the fourth. Nothing we could do at that point would keep them in the nest.

I used a wicker basket, tied it to the tree, lower, but still above ground level and place them all in it. They jumped out again. We refilled a bigger basket with the birds and left them to their own devices. The mother and father both found them and were bringing food. The next day the basket was empty. I believe I found on bird behind our house being fed by the father the next day, the others, who knows. We tried to save one and may have ruined four. No good deed goes unpunished. I felt like such a clown.

fearnofish · Jun 29, 2009

On Saturday morning I came out to see what our pit "Isis" was doing. We just put a $5000.00 fence in so she could have room to run. She loves balls and when I saw her throw one up to herself I could see that it was a baby chicken from next door. Thing is, it was not dead and just tweeting like a son of a gun. I yelled leave it and picked it up and carried it back next door. She just thought it was a live ball.

LATS · Jun 30, 2009

since we are talking about warped stuff.. when i was in high school i was with my girlfriend in my piece of crap chevy nova which had most of the floor board missing.. anyway, we went to a nearby town for her to look at a car she was thinking of buying.. as we were coming back along the highway there was a dip in the road and i was going pretty fast.. as we crested the hill and started down the dip i noticed , as god is my witness, 25-30 ducks just standing in the road huddled together.. i was already 20 yards from them when i noticed them and had a truck on my ass so i couldnt put on the brakes.. SHE SCREAMS!!! i yelled and we went over the "herd" of ducks at about 65 miles a hours.. i could hear and feel their heads thrumping the bottom of my floor boards sounding like a drum solo..

as i look back in the rear view mirror i see the truck pull over on the side of the road and get a glance at the carnage in the highway.. ducks and feathers everywhere!!!... i turn to her and said "we have to go back".. she is already crying and has her head resting in her hands.. she looks at me and says "yes, we have to see if we can help any of them".. she was quite the humanatarian.. i on the other hand was thinking that guy would turn me in for what happened if i did not show some compassion.. so we turn around..

i floor the nova back to the scene of the crime with the girlfriend still in tears.. we come around the turn and start heading down the dip again and what happens???? the damn survivors of the drive by are dazed and trying to fly away from the scene.. they are flying about 4 feet off the ground.. she screams again and about 5-6 of them come thumping into my windshield at break neck speed.. feathers and blood cover my windshield.. i pull over slamming on the brakes .. ( i cant see anyway.. feathers, blood.. you get the picture).. as i step out i see the guy in the truck leaning on his vehicle laughing his ass off.. he turns to me and says " just had to finish them off didnt ya killer!!"

pesty4077 · Jun 30, 2009

LATS said:
since we are talking about warped stuff.. when i was in high school i was with my girlfriend in my piece of crap chevy nova which had most of the floor board missing.. anyway, we went to a nearby town for her to look at a car she was thinking of buying.. as we were coming back along the highway there was a dip in the road and i was going pretty fast.. as we crested the hill and started down the dip i noticed , as god is my witness, 25-30 ducks just standing in the road huddled together.. i was already 20 yards from them when i noticed them and had a truck on my ass so i couldnt put on the brakes.. SHE SCREAMS!!! i yelled and we went over the "herd" of ducks at about 65 miles a hours.. i could hear and feel their heads thrumping the bottom of my floor boards sounding like a drum solo..

as i look back in the rear view mirror i see the truck pull over on the side of the road and get a glance at the carnage in the highway.. ducks and feathers everywhere!!!... i turn to her and said "we have to go back".. she is already crying and has her head resting in her hands.. she looks at me and says "yes, we have to see if we can help any of them".. she was quite the humanatarian.. i on the other hand was thinking that guy would turn me in for what happened if i did not show some compassion.. so we turn around..

i floor the nova back to the scene of the crime with the girlfriend still in tears.. we come around the turn and start heading down the dip again and what happens???? the damn survivors of the drive by are dazed and trying to fly away from the scene.. they are flying about 4 feet off the ground.. she screams again and about 5-6 of them come thumping into my windshield at break neck speed.. feathers and blood cover my windshield.. i pull over slamming on the brakes .. ( i cant see anyway.. feathers, blood.. you get the picture).. as i step out i see the guy in the truck leaning on his vehicle laughing his ass off.. he turns to me and says " just had to finish them off didnt ya killer!!"

Now that is some funny shit!!

oldfella · Jun 30, 2009

LATS said:
since we are talking about warped stuff.. when i was in high school i was with my girlfriend in my piece of crap chevy nova which had most of the floor board missing.. anyway, we went to a nearby town for her to look at a car she was thinking of buying.. as we were coming back along the highway there was a dip in the road and i was going pretty fast.. as we crested the hill and started down the dip i noticed , as god is my witness, 25-30 ducks just standing in the road huddled together.. i was already 20 yards from them when i noticed them and had a truck on my ass so i couldnt put on the brakes.. SHE SCREAMS!!! i yelled and we went over the "herd" of ducks at about 65 miles a hours.. i could hear and feel their heads thrumping the bottom of my floor boards sounding like a drum solo..

as i look back in the rear view mirror i see the truck pull over on the side of the road and get a glance at the carnage in the highway.. ducks and feathers everywhere!!!... i turn to her and said "we have to go back".. she is already crying and has her head resting in her hands.. she looks at me and says "yes, we have to see if we can help any of them".. she was quite the humanatarian.. i on the other hand was thinking that guy would turn me in for what happened if i did not show some compassion.. so we turn around..

i floor the nova back to the scene of the crime with the girlfriend still in tears.. we come around the turn and start heading down the dip again and what happens???? the damn survivors of the drive by are dazed and trying to fly away from the scene.. they are flying about 4 feet off the ground.. she screams again and about 5-6 of them come thumping into my windshield at break neck speed.. feathers and blood cover my windshield.. i pull over slamming on the brakes .. ( i cant see anyway.. feathers, blood.. you get the picture).. as i step out i see the guy in the truck leaning on his vehicle laughing his ass off.. he turns to me and says " just had to finish them off didnt ya killer!!"

If you didn't have bad luck you would have none at all. Damn Lats, you, you murderer!!! LOL.

bigdfk · Jun 30, 2009

Lats,

you have a knack for story telling man, pretty funny stuff.

fearnofish · Jun 30, 2009

Lats,
You ever have a protein drink come out thru your nose? After reading that last story, thats what happened to me!

Tyrone · Jun 30, 2009

Damn Lats, having some bad luck with the birdies!?! I can't read anymore of your animal murders, sorry. LOL You have to come back with a 'Lats Story Time' with zero animals hurt or dead, you fugger