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- Joined
- May 12, 2010
- Messages
- 815
I wanted to share a thought I have had lately on where I am currently in life and what got me here. Some of you know my story of being born with a rare bone disease Osteogenesis Imperfecta (brittle bones) and how only 50,000 of us in the US have it. I have sustained over 90 fractures in my 34 years of life and have had 18 surgeries to walk again. Back in August I went to the US National Conference for OI and met fellow PM member Bio, who got me in touch with the OIF (Osteogenesis Imperfecta Foundation) for me to speak to the teenagers who have OI. Ever since that conference the messages, texts and emails I get from parents, to adults, to the kids with OI telling me how I am inspirational and make them realize they can do whatever they want. To the doctors who want to study me and find out how I built my body up when all medical literature says it is impossible - has overwhelmed me.
I spend a lot of time journaling because I feel that is a key to growing personally and I keep coming back to the same conclusion over and over again - that I did what I was supposed to do.
At age 9 the doctors told me after enduring a few devastating surgeries to repair my legs that I would more than likely be wheelchair bound for the rest of my life and at the very least crutches or canes. It was then that I swore I would figure out a way to walk again if it killed me. My mom was a little ahead of the curve and honestly hated the fact I was so skinny and weak so she hired me a personal trainer towards the end of age 9 to begin helping me get my upper body stronger to use my wheel chair and take care of myself. Slowly but surely I got a little bit stronger and a little more motivated. At age 11 (1991) my mom was reading about this drug called Protropin (192 AA GH) and how it was showing promising studies to help children grow. My mom wanted me to be as normal as possible so she fought long and hard to get the insurance company to approve me taking this drug and I was on Protropin from 11 to 16. Funny thing is when I was on protropin my fractures ceased. At age 16 - the insurance company declined me taking it anymore because the FDA said it was not a treatable drug for my condition. About 3 months after coming off of Protropin I snapped my left tib and fib playing pickup basketball. Yep the brittle bone kid had managed to get to the point where he could play basketball and keep up.
Now let me back track a little bit - in 1994, I was 14 and strolling through a local supermarket with my mom and saw a Flex magazine with Dorian Yates on the cover and I wanted to be him so I had my mom buy me the magazine and devoured it! I became a student to weight lifting and learned everything I possibly could. My freshman year was in 1995 and weighed in at 56 pounds soaking wet at a height of 5 foot even. By my senior year in 1999 I weighed 165 but a chunky 165 and a strong 165 so I was tickled shitless and my mom was thrilled with how I managed to become in her eyes normal where no one could tell anything was wrong with me at al.
So all the back story leads me to where I am today. I have spoken to a few people in the OI community and some doctors and they tell me what I have done is impossible especially with how I got from point A to Point B. I told them at age 19 I began taking gh again and low dose dbol (10mg a day) and deca 200mg a day. I did that off and on till I decided to get into competiting in 2006. At the time I was dumb when I competed in 2006 and did nothing but deca and dbol the entire prep 12 weeks and managed to place 5th in my state show (lightweight) and 5th the previous week in a weight class up to 187.5 (novice) out of 17 guys. So as you can imagine cloud 9 because I never could play any sports but I found something that I could blend in and do good in.
I struggle with how to take what I know and let others know. One doctor out of 5 is willing to listen to me and do some trials on me with actual pharma grade gh but his condition is to bone graph every bone in my body and a bunch of other shit. The pain does not bother me one bit, but more of the small incisions all over and just the downtime turns me off. I shared in a private group on FB in the OI community about what I have done and literally was burned alive at the stake. Because medical science says this and the doctors say that, yet I stand in my position - a position of defiance and shake my head at being so naïve. I want to literally scream to them that while they sit in a wheelchair swallowing 100 pills a day and do stage 3 FDA clinical trials on shit that we do not even works I am over here living a full and healthy life.
I guess this is more just me venting, but I realized in my reflection that no I did not do anything special at all. I am just a fool hearted bastard who lets his heart chase foolish dreams while conditioning my mind to not accept failure of any kind. I love this sport and it has given me everything I never knew would be possible. I also love this board and with all the negativity lately I wanted to post something positive because you all - the members of PM, have been instrumental in making me the better student of the sport today than I was back in 2010 when I officially joined and quit lurking. Thank you all again for being the supportive crazy bunch of people a guy chasing a fool- hearted dream could ask for.
Now I have a little over 9weeks till my first show and with any hope will try my hands at Jr Nats one more time if I can get my finances and such right.
Keep chasing your dreams and your pursuit of perfection - its your happiness after all.
-Jeff
I spend a lot of time journaling because I feel that is a key to growing personally and I keep coming back to the same conclusion over and over again - that I did what I was supposed to do.
At age 9 the doctors told me after enduring a few devastating surgeries to repair my legs that I would more than likely be wheelchair bound for the rest of my life and at the very least crutches or canes. It was then that I swore I would figure out a way to walk again if it killed me. My mom was a little ahead of the curve and honestly hated the fact I was so skinny and weak so she hired me a personal trainer towards the end of age 9 to begin helping me get my upper body stronger to use my wheel chair and take care of myself. Slowly but surely I got a little bit stronger and a little more motivated. At age 11 (1991) my mom was reading about this drug called Protropin (192 AA GH) and how it was showing promising studies to help children grow. My mom wanted me to be as normal as possible so she fought long and hard to get the insurance company to approve me taking this drug and I was on Protropin from 11 to 16. Funny thing is when I was on protropin my fractures ceased. At age 16 - the insurance company declined me taking it anymore because the FDA said it was not a treatable drug for my condition. About 3 months after coming off of Protropin I snapped my left tib and fib playing pickup basketball. Yep the brittle bone kid had managed to get to the point where he could play basketball and keep up.
Now let me back track a little bit - in 1994, I was 14 and strolling through a local supermarket with my mom and saw a Flex magazine with Dorian Yates on the cover and I wanted to be him so I had my mom buy me the magazine and devoured it! I became a student to weight lifting and learned everything I possibly could. My freshman year was in 1995 and weighed in at 56 pounds soaking wet at a height of 5 foot even. By my senior year in 1999 I weighed 165 but a chunky 165 and a strong 165 so I was tickled shitless and my mom was thrilled with how I managed to become in her eyes normal where no one could tell anything was wrong with me at al.
So all the back story leads me to where I am today. I have spoken to a few people in the OI community and some doctors and they tell me what I have done is impossible especially with how I got from point A to Point B. I told them at age 19 I began taking gh again and low dose dbol (10mg a day) and deca 200mg a day. I did that off and on till I decided to get into competiting in 2006. At the time I was dumb when I competed in 2006 and did nothing but deca and dbol the entire prep 12 weeks and managed to place 5th in my state show (lightweight) and 5th the previous week in a weight class up to 187.5 (novice) out of 17 guys. So as you can imagine cloud 9 because I never could play any sports but I found something that I could blend in and do good in.
I struggle with how to take what I know and let others know. One doctor out of 5 is willing to listen to me and do some trials on me with actual pharma grade gh but his condition is to bone graph every bone in my body and a bunch of other shit. The pain does not bother me one bit, but more of the small incisions all over and just the downtime turns me off. I shared in a private group on FB in the OI community about what I have done and literally was burned alive at the stake. Because medical science says this and the doctors say that, yet I stand in my position - a position of defiance and shake my head at being so naïve. I want to literally scream to them that while they sit in a wheelchair swallowing 100 pills a day and do stage 3 FDA clinical trials on shit that we do not even works I am over here living a full and healthy life.
I guess this is more just me venting, but I realized in my reflection that no I did not do anything special at all. I am just a fool hearted bastard who lets his heart chase foolish dreams while conditioning my mind to not accept failure of any kind. I love this sport and it has given me everything I never knew would be possible. I also love this board and with all the negativity lately I wanted to post something positive because you all - the members of PM, have been instrumental in making me the better student of the sport today than I was back in 2010 when I officially joined and quit lurking. Thank you all again for being the supportive crazy bunch of people a guy chasing a fool- hearted dream could ask for.
Now I have a little over 9weeks till my first show and with any hope will try my hands at Jr Nats one more time if I can get my finances and such right.
Keep chasing your dreams and your pursuit of perfection - its your happiness after all.
-Jeff
