Advice about handling gym drama, slander, negativity

[cm]

Quick backstory
like 7 or 8 gyms ago, originally met a bodybuilder who was having success on the local level. At the time I had never competed. He wasnt a great guy at first meet, and that remains true.
"He" always thought, he was the caliber of dexter jackson, yet never competed on a national stage, since went on to compete in natural" organizations to be a big fish in a small pond
He is well past prime years of competing, @50 yrs +, yet still believes he is the uncrowned MR O-
I have always took this guy with a grain of salt, from the time I thought he had a special physique, to the days when I realized it was only special against the people coming out of zumba class
nothing surprises me of what has come out of his mouth about the sport, other people, and of course how high he holds himself above those people
Over the recent years, I branched out to different gyms, and got lifts in at different training facilities all over my town: met hundreds of people that I never would have, gained friends, and other gym buddies who watched me get better year after year and eventually and luckily become the guy in the gym who was the local IFBB guy
Now with having acquaintances at many facilities, I have been hearing chater that this individual has my name in his mouth on the regular, esp lately. telling people I do this and that, take this and that, supplement with XYZ, with of course zero knowledge of who I really am, what I do, or what Ive done. Truth be told, I dont even have a coach that would have an idea based on advice that had been given about supplements anyways.
without diving into who I am, and what I do - no one wants slanderous statements to tarnish their reputation, regardless of your profession, but lts fair say, my job (s) are solely based on me and who I am.

I attempted to recently joke and reply to someone speaking to me about it, "if he only knew the truth, he would have so much more trash to say".
even yesterday I told a couple guys at the gym, I wouldnt trip over something I already passed and is behind me
the realization is, I am prob more Velcro then Teflon. I can say these things dont bother my much, but I wrestle with the chaos because they do.
Some of the gym bros told me go to the owners and tell them, so he is forced to leave. One guy suggested confrontation, while another said a baseball bat to the face would be nice
Im sure may people here have had some run ins with other members and shit talkers at their gyms. some ugliness and some resolved.
just looking for some experiences, some advice, some wisdom

 

[LK3]

idk my first reaction is fuck it/him as really just shows him being jealous and as much as it may be annoying. shit like that is really a compliment.

when other juice heads say you are lying about your doses/protocols that is close to the highest form of compliment you will get! lol they are too small minded and insecure to come and say hey great job and respect on the hard work.

makes them feel better when they can say oh well he has great genetics or he's taking xyz and if i took xzy i would look waaaaay better but..

be in your bubble bro, thats you can really do.
ill prob reread this later. lol

 

[gungalunga]

The best advice I can give is to not give a damn about what other people think. Just keep your eyes ahead and keep moving forward. If you see the guy at the gym just keep smiling and doing your own thing. This lets guys like him know that he can't get inside your head. Things like this tend to blow over eventually. A few months from now you will probably be laughing about it.

 

[cm]

I wish brother. A couple months will just bring something different because I will have competed again, giving more fuel. like 10 plus years of this now. just recently its gotten personal and way too frequent

 

[Fit2Serve]

i dont make any close friends at the gym.
i dont really talk to anyone at the gym.
i certainly dont care about anyone at the gym nor what they think or say. grown people gossiping and etc?

why does it bother you that a guy is talking shit about u?

this one girl i am friends with on facebook always posts things like "haters gonna hate" and stuf like that. WHO cares? i dont know anyone that "hates on me" and if they do i dont even know about it nor would i even care. if it doesnt hurt my family or my income i dont give a shit. nor should you imo.
switch gyms lol. sounds like a pussified place where people care more about gossip that lifting....
-F

 

[Blazed_Noob]

The trainers constantly talk shit about me at my gym. They are all over weight and do not make any progress or attempts to better themselves.
They try to convince everyone at the gym that I'm some roided out freak .
I never talk to anyone and I am always polite even tho people constantly do stupid shit around me.
It did bother me for a little while but I came to the conclusion "why let it bother me"?.
They don't help me reach my goals , pay my mortgage, make my meals everyday or lift my weights for me.
I just pull my hat down turn my music up and tear shit up in the gym each day. Gives me more fuel to better myself and improve each day.

My advice would be just to brush it off and keep it if moving. It will always bother you but you just gotta keep going and just worry about your life

If it is too much to bear you could always ask him to stop or ask why he feels the need to talk about you when he needs to worry about his own shit.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk

 

[USMuscle9403]

If someone ever says anything that is intended to piss me off, the first question I ask myself is whether I actually respect that person's opinion. If I don't, then why care? It only bothers me if I hold that person in high regard. If not, then say what the hell you please about me, just make sure you spell my name right.

 

[thethinker48]

You're doing something right if they talk about you. It's the hater's pride that fuels his hate; not his conscience.

Unfortunately a lot of gyms are a haven of insecurity and hostility instead of being a community (how it used to be) nowadays. Too many angry, insecure man children running around today.

I'd just ignore, and carry forward.

P.S- In b4 concreter's advice of bashing his skull in lol

 

[Pretzel Logic]

I don't think it's so easy to brush off. Personally it is, but if the OP is a pro, and probably gets income from training and appearances and sponsors, then his physique and perceived personality/fidelity/likeability are what make that possible. If those things are then called into question by some guy with some level of recognition and audience telling lies about you, it's damaging.

 

[FrancisK]

This is why I stopped working out at spa gyms, hardcore gyms or even a large or busy gym. I understand it seems logical to want to immerse yourself in an environment where people share the same passion as you but the relationships you develop at the gym are not normal ones at all just because of the way they are created.

Developing relationships based on the gym is begging for problems, it's not a typical relationship where you meet someone get to know them and decide if you want them in your life, it's completely based on forced interaction you have no idea what these people are really like....until it's too late. You're almost forced to let some crazed weirdo into your life just because of that forced interaction and of course that weirdo wants that even if you don't! That and I don't have to tell you that some gyms attract some really grimy people and again it's forced interaction with them at those type of gyms.

CM it sounds like it's time to find a new gym environment cut off from your old one. Making the gym a social club always leads to a problem, go in get your workout, smile and nod your head at the people you see regularly and go home. I had to switch gyms a few times because of girls I met there and eventually had to avoid. A couple other times because of guys who wanted to prove themselves against me for no reason other than trying to impress those girls or their merry band of douchebag friends. It wasn't about being afraid or that I did something wrong but who wants to workout while looking over their shoulder at someone?! I know it's not the same situation but it's created from the same problem.


I work out at the YMCA now, no issues whatsoever I can't even imagine working out at a typical gym again.....

 

[TheOtherOne55]

Um this is why I don't interact with many gym goers at all.
If you have hit 7-8 gyms and have 100s of friends from all over, you're treating it like a workout and not training. That's at least my viewpoint although I know I could be wrong.

Im just saying that I don't even speak with more than 4-5 people, all my gyms combined. That's Golds Venice and other big named CA gyms. This isn't a social scene to me, it's a get in and work hard then get it out. Simple as that. Are you a trainer? Are you selling something? If the answer is no, you are talking to too many people.

But anyways, fuck that guy.

 

[graybass]

Holy Shit! Who gives a fuck? I've been in the game for 30 years. Could not care less about anyone!!!!LOL Typing this wasn't worth it!

 

[mayan]

The trainers constantly talk shit about me at my gym. They are all over weight and do not make any progress or attempts to better themselves.
They try to convince everyone at the gym that I'm some roided out freak .
I never talk to anyone and I am always polite even tho people constantly do stupid shit around me.
It did bother me for a little while but I came to the conclusion "why let it bother me"?.
They don't help me reach my goals , pay my mortgage, make my meals everyday or lift my weights for me.
I just pull my hat down turn my music up and tear shit up in the gym each day. Gives me more fuel to better myself and improve each day.

My advice would be just to brush it off and keep it if moving. It will always bother you but you just gotta keep going and just worry about your life

If it is too much to bear you could always ask him to stop or ask why he feels the need to talk about you when he needs to worry about his own shit.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk

I could have made this same post...

 

[Love_to_Bodybuild]

Quick backstory
like 7 or 8 gyms ago, originally met a bodybuilder who was having success on the local level. At the time I had never competed. He wasnt a great guy at first meet, and that remains true.
"He" always thought, he was the caliber of dexter jackson, yet never competed on a national stage, since went on to compete in natural" organizations to be a big fish in a small pond
He is well past prime years of competing, @50 yrs +, yet still believes he is the uncrowned MR O-
I have always took this guy with a grain of salt, from the time I thought he had a special physique, to the days when I realized it was only special against the people coming out of zumba class
nothing surprises me of what has come out of his mouth about the sport, other people, and of course how high he holds himself above those people
Over the recent years, I branched out to different gyms, and got lifts in at different training facilities all over my town: met hundreds of people that I never would have, gained friends, and other gym buddies who watched me get better year after year and eventually and luckily become the guy in the gym who was the local IFBB guy
Now with having acquaintances at many facilities, I have been hearing chater that this individual has my name in his mouth on the regular, esp lately. telling people I do this and that, take this and that, supplement with XYZ, with of course zero knowledge of who I really am, what I do, or what Ive done. Truth be told, I dont even have a coach that would have an idea based on advice that had been given about supplements anyways.
without diving into who I am, and what I do - no one wants slanderous statements to tarnish their reputation, regardless of your profession, but lts fair say, my job (s) are solely based on me and who I am.

I attempted to recently joke and reply to someone speaking to me about it, "if he only knew the truth, he would have so much more trash to say".
even yesterday I told a couple guys at the gym, I wouldnt trip over something I already passed and is behind me
the realization is, I am prob more Velcro then Teflon. I can say these things dont bother my much, but I wrestle with the chaos because they do.
Some of the gym bros told me go to the owners and tell them, so he is forced to leave. One guy suggested confrontation, while another said a baseball bat to the face would be nice
Im sure may people here have had some run ins with other members and shit talkers at their gyms. some ugliness and some resolved.
just looking for some experiences, some advice, some wisdom

sounds to me it'd be in your best interest to contact the manager of the gym and ask the manager what they recommend.

 

[mayan]

To the OP, like many have said, the best answer is to ignore it. But that's hard to do, and you've already stated that it won't stop anyway, you'll compete again and he'll have more shit to spew. I think the second best bet is to go out of your way to say hi to him and make nice chitchat, act entirely oblivious to his shit talking and do the "kill them with kindness" sorta thing. That is going to put him in a pretty awkward position. Even if he's a total sociopath (sounds plausible) and continues to say shit behind your back even though he smiles and makes nice when you're going out of your way to be friendly, eventually someone else is gonna ask him "Isn't that guy your friend? Why are you talking so much trash about your boy?" Maybe there are reasons this approach wouldn't work, but if not, I'd give it a shot.

 

[qbkilla]

i dont make any close friends at the gym.
i dont really talk to anyone at the gym.
i certainly dont care about anyone at the gym nor what they think or say. grown people gossiping and etc?

why does it bother you that a guy is talking shit about u?

this one girl i am friends with on facebook always posts things like "haters gonna hate" and stuf like that. WHO cares? i dont know anyone that "hates on me" and if they do i dont even know about it nor would i even care. if it doesnt hurt my family or my income i dont give a shit. nor should you imo.
switch gyms lol. sounds like a pussified place where people care more about gossip that lifting....
-F

this

no offense you may have a great physique, but you are also treating the gym as a social club and 100 percent of this drama you have brought onto yourself, you may actually secretly like it

I have no desire to interact with anyone at the gym, I do not want a hello, eye contact, interaction. it serves me no purpose I am there to train.

once I asked someone at the gym, who also does not speak to people, if they could recommend a good massage therapist. they gave me a recommendation. the next time I saw them there was no hello, no eye contact, nothing, I spoke to them one day for a specific purpose, thanked them, and it was obvious I did not (nor did they) want it to lead to any further social interaction

but at the end of the day, you are not me, you obviously are a social creature and interaction at the gym is very important to you based on your post

considering that I don't really know what advice to give you. the only thing I can say is change your mindset and become that guy who does not want any interaction. intelligent people will realize you are not being an asshole you are just there for a purpose which is to lift weights. if anyone talks about you behind your back that reflects on them the they actually took the time out of their day to have a thought about you or say a word about you.

sucesssfull people are selfish and not agreeable and know how to say "no" which is basically anther form of "fuck off im working out lets not speak"

judging by your pic you are a big guy so you were able to make progress as you have good genetics and made progress despite social behavior at the gym, some can't, but like your posts states, now you have drama because you chose to be social with gym members (who as a group are more mentally unstable and insecure than people who don't go to the gym)

 

[cm]

this

no offense you may have a great physique, but you are also treating the gym as a social club and 100 percent of this drama you have brought onto yourself, you may actually secretly like it

couldnt be more false of a statement
100% inaccurate

 

[cm]

Um this is why I don't interact with many gym goers at all.
If you have hit 7-8 gyms and have 100s of friends from all over, you're treating it like a workout and not training. That's at least my viewpoint although I know I could be wrong.


But anyways, fuck that guy.

gyms close all the time. main reason why its been this amount

 

[cm]

CM it sounds like it's time to find a new gym environment cut off from your old one. Making the gym a social club always leads to a problem, go in get your workout, smile and nod your head at the people you see regularly and go home. I had to switch gyms a few times because of girls I met there and eventually had to avoid. A couple other times because of guys who wanted to prove themselves against me for no reason other than trying to impress those girls or their merry band of douchebag friends. It wasn't about being afraid or that I did something wrong but who wants to workout while looking over their shoulder at someone?! I know it's not the same situation but it's created from the same problem.

.

I do go to different gyms ---sometimes weekly
so does he.......

 

[cm]

appreciate the responses. all of em