Advice about handling gym drama, slander, negativity

[TheOtherOne55]

couldnt be more false of a statement
100% inaccurate

CM,

you're getting multiple fixes to the problem here.

1. Stop caring and stop being offended.

If you're asking how to do this, then you need to—

2. Stop talking to people.

Both are very easy. If you can't do 1, do the other.

 

[danieltx]

If it's truly slander, having a lawyer send a letter to the gym would probably be the quickest way to stop it. You have a legitimate concern about defamatory statements harming your ability to make a living so it's at least worth consulting an attorney about.

Beyond that, look into some self-help on core confidence. As a professional bodybuilder, you've accomplished more than most who step in a gym could ever dream of doing. You should have no concern over the opinions of others, outside of it harming your ability to make a living.

 

[Deleted member 121863]

First keep some head phones on more often.

Next if somebody says "Joe blow tells me you are doing this and that". Just reply, "haters gonna hate. Jealousy is an evil thing". No need to even address the comments. I`m sure nobody in the gym assumes you are natural anyway. So what`s the difference.

 

[FrancisK]

I do go to different gyms ---sometimes weekly
so does he.......

For what reason do you frequent more than one gym?

The answer to that may be the reason for this problem...

 

[qbkilla]

First keep some head phones on more often.

Next if somebody says "Joe blow tells me you are doing this and that". Just reply, "haters gonna hate. Jealousy is an evil thing". No need to even address the comments. I`m sure nobody in the gym assumes you are natural anyway. So what`s the difference.

this is a good suggestion, but I would even improve it some

I work in behavior, any person who tells you someone's said something bad about you is almost part of the problem, they want drama

most people are truly pathetic and love drama

if someone comes up to you at the gym and tells you someone is saying something bad about you, ignore them too, don't even dignify their existence with a response

if someone is throwing rocks at cars that drive by and people are honking, flipping them off, this reiforces their behavior

if people completely ignore them, eventually they will get bored and stop

obviously you cant ignore someone doin something physical to you, but words hurt no one. the best way to get someone to leave you alone is to complete ignore them, basically saying "im not acknowledging your existence"

nothing bothers me more than people who talk nd socialize at the gym. at the gym the people who I respect the most are those who train hard, move fast, and don't speak.

 

[Bio]

idk my first reaction is fuck it/him as really just shows him being jealous and as much as it may be annoying. shit like that is really a compliment.

when other juice heads say you are lying about your doses/protocols that is close to the highest form of compliment you will get! lol they are too small minded and insecure to come and say hey great job and respect on the hard work.

makes them feel better when they can say oh well he has great genetics or he's taking xyz and if i took xzy i would look waaaaay better but..

be in your bubble bro, thats you can really do.
ill prob reread this later. lol

:yeahthat:

Just do your thing. If someone you don't know approaches you one day and says, "I tried that routine you recommend and some of the supplements you recommend." Just say, "I didn't recommend those to you." They'll say, "So and So (that guy) told me that's what you do." Then let them know you've never given him advice and don't really know him. The truth will start to make the rounds and even if it doesn't, fuck him. Anybody that takes his word for truth without talking to you isn't being very smart.

 

[cm]

2. Stop talking to people.

this is something I would never do. nothing would be worse for me, my career, my rep, my professionalism, and quite frankly, why would i do this anyways?.
I dont have to go to the gym to be angry or antisocial
to the contrary, its the best part of my day, and I enjoy it every day

 

[cm]

For what reason do you frequent more than one gym?

The answer to that may be the reason for this problem...

different equipment
different environment -some quiet, some busy, some good vibes-- iron sharpens iron
hours - some close too early on certain days
and: because I can
what bodybuilder doesnt like traveling and going to different gyms and seeing new pieces

 

[lestatgear]

And this is why I put my headphones on and don't acknowledge anyone at the gym. I once had a lady say to me as I was walking by, "you look so serious". I stopped and asked her what she said because I had my headphones on. She smiled and repeated, possibly hitting on me. I sarcastically replied, "I'm smiling on the inside", put my headphones on and walked away.

I belong to two different gyms: LA Fitness and one that used to be a Gold's. The above scenario happened at LA Fitness. I never used to talk to anyone and had a look on my face that I clearly didn't want to be bothered. Not in an asshole way, just stand-offish. When I ruptured my biceps tendon and was in a device for 6 weeks post surgery, a bunch of guys started asking me what happened, and I would take the time to stop and share the story since my workouts with a ruptured bicep were minimal during the post surgery healing time. A decision I now regret. Whenever I go there, guys want to talk, talk talk. Annoying as hell. I honestly don't know how anyone can be social in the gym. It's all about me and my workout when there.

 

[cm]

I

Beyond that, look into some self-help on core confidence. As a professional bodybuilder, you've accomplished more than most who step in a gym could ever dream of doing. You should have no concern over the opinions of others, outside of it harming your ability to make a living.

I appreciate the thought that maybe I need some reinforcement, but the second part of your statement is more of the problem
Most importantly the mirror, followed by the 9- or 7 judges at the table (unfortunately) are my validation
the ramifications that you speak are of course more relevant.
Of course I started the thread because I care, and I stated this. So much of what is said in here to do: is easier said then done. I believe, I would give the same advice to someone else, but things change, at least for me, if I'm on the pitch, or if Im in the stands

 

[qbkilla]

And this is why I put my headphones on and don't acknowledge anyone at the gym. I once had a lady say to me as I was walking by, "you look so serious". I stopped and asked her what she said because I had my headphones on. She smiled and repeated, possibly hitting on me. I sarcastically replied, "I'm smiling on the inside", put my headphones on and walked away.

I belong to two different gyms: LA Fitness and one that used to be a Gold's. The above scenario happened at LA Fitness. I never used to talk to anyone and had a look on my face that I clearly didn't want to be bothered. Not in an asshole way, just stand-offish. When I ruptured my biceps tendon and was in a device for 6 weeks post surgery, a bunch of guys started asking me what happened, and I would take the time to stop and share the story since my workouts with a ruptured bicep were minimal during the post surgery healing time. A decision I now regret. Whenever I go there, guys want to talk, talk talk. Annoying as hell. I honestly don't know how anyone can be social in the gym. It's all about me and my workout when there.

This is a great point and so true. Once you give someone an opening (maybe your injured, doing a light day during a recovery phase, just in a good mood cuz you won the lottery), once you give them an opening to befriend you they never forget it and what to chat or receive acknowledgment every time. one guy once asked me about my tattoo on my leg and I briefly replied "I got it in New York" and walked away. The next time he saw me in there he came up and commented on my sleeve. The next time I saw him he was looking for a hello or head nod but I kept my head down and I think he gets the point there that im that guy that doesn't want to talk.

 

[FrancisK]

different equipment
different environment -some quiet, some busy, some good vibes-- iron sharpens iron
hours - some close too early on certain days
and: because I can
what bodybuilder doesnt like traveling and going to different gyms and seeing new pieces

Kinda sounds like you’re really deep into the scene and enjoy putting yourself out there, nothing wrong with that but there will always be haters and assholes.

Let it go CM blow it off, it’s only an issue because you’re making it one, fuck that guy laugh it off.

 

[thethinker48]

This is why I train at the YMCA...; old people and soccer moms [emoji846]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[brutus69]

i dont make any close friends at the gym.
i dont really talk to anyone at the gym.
i certainly dont care about anyone at the gym nor what they think or say. grown people gossiping and etc?

why does it bother you that a guy is talking shit about u?

this one girl i am friends with on facebook always posts things like "haters gonna hate" and stuf like that. WHO cares? i dont know anyone that "hates on me" and if they do i dont even know about it nor would i even care. if it doesnt hurt my family or my income i dont give a shit. nor should you imo.
switch gyms lol. sounds like a pussified place where people care more about gossip that lifting....
-F

you dont care to make friends at the gym but u prefer fake facebook friends u dont even know in reality? whats that say about you.

 

[brutus69]

do u have any contact with the guy outside gyms, in the regular world?
if its just when u work out, so what?
ive made tons of friends at the gym and yeah, planet fitness.
if one guy doesnt like me, so what. i mean, my skin isnt the thickest either, and theres one dude who showed his true colors by badmouthing a mutual friend who died recently, talkin shit about him. made me wonder what he says about me behind MY back.
but i only see him sometimes when i work out. and i dont care at all. maybe a little.
there's no advice anyone can give u, i just realized. its like an alcoholic. they gotta realize its all on them to make a difference.
with you, u gotta get to the point where you add up the good guys in ye life, count the one douchebag, and realized its meaningless. but getting to that point is tough when u have feelings,

 

[cm]

do u have any contact with the guy outside gyms, in the regular world?
if its just when u work out, so what?
,

my world direct contact , no
other people in my world, unfortunately, yes. bodybuilding is a huge, yet small world

 

[cm]

you dont care to make friends at the gym but u prefer fake facebook friends u dont even know in reality? whats that say about you.

ouch

 

[mytreefiddy]

idk my first reaction is fuck it/him as really just shows him being jealous and as much as it may be annoying. shit like that is really a compliment.

when other juice heads say you are lying about your doses/protocols that is close to the highest form of compliment you will get! lol they are too small minded and insecure to come and say hey great job and respect on the hard work.

makes them feel better when they can say oh well he has great genetics or he's taking xyz and if i took xzy i would look waaaaay better but..

be in your bubble bro, thats you can really do.
ill prob reread this later. lol

This right here is the best answer.....

People are gonna hate.... I'm the only male Pro at my gym.... and i KNOW most guys are fake as fuck in my face but i turn my back and the shit starts... talking all kinds of shit... fact is , you get under their skin... nothing you can do about it.... Guys i THOUGHT were my friends disappeared as soon as i got my Pro card...

People want you to do good.... just not better than them.... fuck em'... let em hate... it used to bother me... now i can give a shit... AND im a nice guy too.... always smilin'... just do your thing bro... don't even sweat the haters

 

[BOWTECH]

Why do you even care what others think about you? If your happy with the person looking back at you in the mirror? Then what other people think or say should have zero impact on you. The more people who want to hate on me is just one more jealous person I get to laugh at. Their views or opinions mean absolutely nothing. If you can apply this attitude this kind of small shit will just roll off your back.

 

[Fit2Serve]

you dont care to make friends at the gym but u prefer fake facebook friends u dont even know in reality? whats that say about you.

what the fuck are u talking about?

i have known that facebook friend for over 25 years lol. she is a real friend. some people use facebook to keep in touch with people they grew up with etc:lightbulb:

no i dont need friends at the gym.
if you need friends at the gym what does that say about you? lol dumbass post bro.....
-F2S