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An insightful post (hopefully)

Kauto_star

Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
207
This is probably one of these posts where people look, read, and think “well, how can I reply”. To be honest, it is probably good to just get this off my chest a little and talk about it with a forum that I do a lot of reading on. I appreciate I don’t post much on here, but I do visit the forum to read the information and articles, a lot.

At the moment, I do feel slightly ‘low’, so I would appreciate no flaming to this post, I am just trying to get my view/insight across. I know you guys here are at a completely different level to me, but I thought it might help to hear some replies and responses from you fellas on here.

Around 7 months ago, I got the chance from a fairly well known supplement company, to do some fitness modelling, however, this obviously meant me getting into very sharp condition and shape. So for the last 7-8 months I have been dieting, training and basically being very, very ‘anal’ and obsessed with dieting and training.

Some of you may have read my post here… http://www.professionalmuscle.com/forums/professional-muscle-forum/64675-am-i-too-deep-my-diet.html

This was during my ‘dieting’ phase.

In the last 7-8 months I have got very ripped, had the photoshoot and sent the photos to the supplement company I was talking with. I had to wait an extra 6-8 weeks as the guy who was in charge was busy with other ventures, which meant that I had an extra 6-8 weeks of being very ‘anal’ and basically maintaining my shape, condition and look, which again consisted of very low calories, whilst trying to keep my strength up in the gym.

My strength has plummeted in the gym. In total I lost around 54lbs, and im pretty sure there is some lean mass in there that I have lost too.

For the past 2 months (basically, whilst I have been waiting to hear back from the main guy at the supplement company), my health seems to have really been affected. Cold all the time, depressed, look terrible, feel terrible, and generally miserable. But no, I had to stay with it and make sure my abs weren’t blurred and to make sure my striations were as I wanted them to be.

However, Reality hit this morning, when training at a new gym that I may hit up in future. Took my main top off, so I was training in my vest (helps me to see muscles contracting, etc…) After completing the set, I stood for a moment and looked ahead into the mirror. “Is that really me” was my first thought, and I looked again, at my neck, my face, and my lack of width. I looked skinny, looked like i had lost muscle, looked like my neck was very thin, and generally never looked like i had touched a weight in my life.

It has been on my mind ever since I left the gym, and it has depressed me for most of the day. Add to this the fact that I have already been feeling quite low as a result of how much strength I have lost during dieting, it has left me not really knowing what to do next.

I now appreciate that I do not have the muscle and lean mass to pull off low bodyfat levels, and that is me being my own critic.

I just really wanted to get this off my chest. I think I need to re-evaluate things.
I have 'given up' a lot in recent years in order to make sure my training has been consistent, and that my diet was clean, clean, clean. I think I need to re-evaluate, Will i ever step on a bodybuilding stage, no, I wont, I started training with weights because I loved it, but it has kind of taken over my life, and everything is directed towards it.

I know this is a very deep and reflective post, but if anyone has any words to input I would love to hear them.

As above, i know you guys are at a very different level, you all have amazing physiques, very strong, and what i have written wont apply to you but im sure some of you may know where i am speaking from.

Thank you for reading.
 
wow bro that was a bit to read but i hear you on how you feel i have done some shows and stuff and dieting sucks no matter how you look at it.So i have just been staying lean and i cheat on the diet hear and there but over all i am happier than i have been in a long time .So if i was you i would do what makes you happy and screw the rest. life is to short
 
It sounds like you're falling victim to the "not having an objective set of eyes" take a look at your situation. Do you have before and after pics? I can't be sure but Im gonna go out on a limb here and say you look WAY better than you think you do right now. It sucks not feeling full and restricting calories for that long. Stick out it out...good things could be right around the corner. 2 days until a new year bro. :)
 
Based on how you described the way you are feeling, I would think your thyroid has crashed from the dieting.


Will i ever step on a bodybuilding stage, no, I wont, I started training with weights because I loved it, but it has kind of taken over my life, and everything is directed towards it.

This is the real problem though, IMO. Lifting and being in shape should enhance life, not hurt it. It should be a part of life, not your actual life.
Just my opinion.
 
wow bro that was a bit to read but i hear you on how you feel i have done some shows and stuff and dieting sucks no matter how you look at it.So i have just been staying lean and i cheat on the diet hear and there but over all i am happier than i have been in a long time .So if i was you i would do what makes you happy and screw the rest. life is to short

Thank you Patrick - yes - i know it was a lot to read. I am leaning towards relaxing more and generally not worrying if i have abs - i would prefer to have good health over abs anyday - and im pretty sure i should haev been like this all the way through - instead of ruining my body it seems.


It sounds like you're falling victim to the "not having an objective set of eyes" take a look at your situation. Do you have before and after pics? I can't be sure but Im gonna go out on a limb here and say you look WAY better than you think you do right now. It sucks not feeling full and restricting calories for that long. Stick out it out...good things could be right around the corner. 2 days until a new year bro. :)

I do have before and after pictures - to be honest - i think i look better in the before pictures - well - not better - i had more fat on me - but i looked healthier and bigger - i am just trying to be honest and also modest - i couldnt believe the person that was staring back at me today in the mirrors in the gym - i looked awful.
 
Based on how you described the way you are feeling, I would think your thyroid has crashed from the dieting.

I have had blood tests done - and the doctor says my thyroid levels are normal. I am picking my blood test results up tomorrow so i can have a look at the ranges and values.
 
I do have before and after pictures - to be honest - i think i look better in the before pictures - well - not better - i had more fat on me - but i looked healthier and bigger - i am just trying to be honest and also modest - i couldnt believe the person that was staring back at me today in the mirrors in the gym - i looked awful.


Remember, I said objective. There is no way for you to truly be objective about yourself. You really need another set of eyes on you. Also, having a support mechanism, even if it is only here, is so important. It's good you're talking about this and not just "roughing it out".
 
Remember, I said objective. There is no way for you to truly be objective about yourself. You really need another set of eyes on you. Also, having a support mechanism, even if it is only here, is so important. It's good you're talking about this and not just "roughing it out".

Thank you - that was my reason for posting it on here - to get peoples opinions and to get it off my chest and talk to people who fully understand.
 
This stuff is 90% mental. No matter how tough you are...look at phil heath after the olympia...or Jason Huh after his latest win. no matter how big you are, you are still only a man.

Thank you - that was my reason for posting it on here - to get peoples opinions and to get it off my chest and talk to people who fully understand.
 
Hi Kauto, as i read your post i could not help but identify what you have gone through....i remember my first contest and who zombie like i felt and how much weight i dropped all in the effort to get ripped...when i looked at the pictures i looked decent..but the truth is people literally had no clue i even worked out and without a pump i just looked...well nothing that you average lean guy would.... obviously when you dont have the god given genetics then bodybuilding becomes much of a time game to put on good muscle and combined with the right bodyfat usually between 8-12% you can look better than 90% of the average public...im guessing your overcomplicating your diet alot and really actually working against your body, heres something i didnt know that when your catabolic you release cortisol which really hampers your fat loss... Bodybuilding really isnt worth missing out on life for and thats the truth...you need to have fun with it enjoy the time in the gym and out of the gym n watch the results slowly come in...

Heres what i would do honestly... hire yourself a trainer from this board...there not to expensive..it doesn't need to be a prep it can just be a general build muscle/ lose fat plan...believe me since i have done this (working with alex) my life has never been so easy....i have an easy diet to follow, i have the ability to go out and enjoy myself ....but more than anything i have no stress as someone is taking that for me...there to much info on the web and you will just get confused...the guys on this site they are like teachers who can help you...im telling you this was the best money i ever spent...im 10lbs heavier than last year at this bodyfat when i dieted myself...no i didnt gain 10lbs of muscle....when i done it myself i was just starving and walking around flat and stringy...honestly everything i am doing now seems so simple that i personally would of never devised this plan according to the "web info" but the results have been great...i would really advise you if your finances permit to go ahead and do this.
 
I hear you, Mate. Good news is, you're just hungry. It's hard to diet off 54 lbs and feel fantastic. I could show you photos wherein I dropped down to nearly light heavyweight levels for a fight that didn't even end up happening... I was little over 184...I'm 6'2" and 227 now. Still not very big, but being 184lbs sucked. I felt like I got run over by a truck.

When you model, fight, whatever, you gotta do what you gotta do...and you did. So, eat something now. Most guys who do photo shoots or contests can't stay ripped for weeks and weeks. They just get stringy and depleted if they do, and of course, lose muscle. Most gain 15lbs of water the next day! So, of course you feel shitty!

The other good news is, if you eat and train now, you have a chance to pack on some good mass in this state. As said above, if finances allow, hire a trainer to take advantage of what you've gone through, and make the best of it.

You'll be right back, Bro. Don't worry!
 
This is probably one of these posts where people look, read, and think “well, how can I reply”. To be honest, it is probably good to just get this off my chest a little and talk about it with a forum that I do a lot of reading on. I appreciate I don’t post much on here, but I do visit the forum to read the information and articles, a lot.

At the moment, I do feel slightly ‘low’, so I would appreciate no flaming to this post, I am just trying to get my view/insight across. I know you guys here are at a completely different level to me, but I thought it might help to hear some replies and responses from you fellas on here.

Around 7 months ago, I got the chance from a fairly well known supplement company, to do some fitness modelling, however, this obviously meant me getting into very sharp condition and shape. So for the last 7-8 months I have been dieting, training and basically being very, very ‘anal’ and obsessed with dieting and training.

Some of you may have read my post here… http://www.professionalmuscle.com/forums/professional-muscle-forum/64675-am-i-too-deep-my-diet.html

This was during my ‘dieting’ phase.

In the last 7-8 months I have got very ripped, had the photoshoot and sent the photos to the supplement company I was talking with. I had to wait an extra 6-8 weeks as the guy who was in charge was busy with other ventures, which meant that I had an extra 6-8 weeks of being very ‘anal’ and basically maintaining my shape, condition and look, which again consisted of very low calories, whilst trying to keep my strength up in the gym.

My strength has plummeted in the gym. In total I lost around 54lbs, and im pretty sure there is some lean mass in there that I have lost too.

For the past 2 months (basically, whilst I have been waiting to hear back from the main guy at the supplement company), my health seems to have really been affected. Cold all the time, depressed, look terrible, feel terrible, and generally miserable. But no, I had to stay with it and make sure my abs weren’t blurred and to make sure my striations were as I wanted them to be.

However, Reality hit this morning, when training at a new gym that I may hit up in future. Took my main top off, so I was training in my vest (helps me to see muscles contracting, etc…) After completing the set, I stood for a moment and looked ahead into the mirror. “Is that really me” was my first thought, and I looked again, at my neck, my face, and my lack of width. I looked skinny, looked like i had lost muscle, looked like my neck was very thin, and generally never looked like i had touched a weight in my life.

It has been on my mind ever since I left the gym, and it has depressed me for most of the day. Add to this the fact that I have already been feeling quite low as a result of how much strength I have lost during dieting, it has left me not really knowing what to do next.

I now appreciate that I do not have the muscle and lean mass to pull off low bodyfat levels, and that is me being my own critic.

I just really wanted to get this off my chest. I think I need to re-evaluate things.
I have 'given up' a lot in recent years in order to make sure my training has been consistent, and that my diet was clean, clean, clean. I think I need to re-evaluate, Will i ever step on a bodybuilding stage, no, I wont, I started training with weights because I loved it, but it has kind of taken over my life, and everything is directed towards it.

I know this is a very deep and reflective post, but if anyone has any words to input I would love to hear them.

As above, i know you guys are at a very different level, you all have amazing physiques, very strong, and what i have written wont apply to you but im sure some of you may know where i am speaking from.

Thank you for reading.

Hey bro, just keep your head up and stay positive. Surround yourself with positve people and stay motivated and focused. What you have accomplished is already a dream to others out there and is an amazing achievement. You sound depressed and i know the feeling. Depressions a bitch but if you have the ability to go this far already then youll continue to succeed if you stay positive. Like others have stated most of this is your mental mindset. If your getting lean and not happy with your results so far then make that change and stick with it. Have someone else besides yourself evaluate you. Remember, you see yourself everyday in the mirror. And if you continue to ask yourself if your "big" enough and are never pleased with it then join the team. How many people look in the mirror and say "I think im big enough" and doesnt want to get any bigger? not me! Im never big enough and i think most of everyone on this board will say that about themselves too. Keep hitting the weights and Eat! Stay positive and remember what you have accomplished and what you will CONTINUE to accomplish! Youll be ok bro. Never give up!
 
Thank you again - i am thinking of changing my routine about for a few months and trying some higher rep training - i think in recent months my reps have got lower and lower - and i have been working in the 5-8 range.

I dont feel happy working in that rep range at the moment - and i have to say - looking back at it - i have been working in this rep range for quite some time now - so may be a good idea for me to mix it up a little bit.
 

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