SO here is the million dollar question for you...............................What is a couple of months of rehab and no gym work compared to a lifetime of a chest that looks deformed?? It does not look that way now but just wait and see what it looks like when one side responds to training and the torn side atrophies at a rate of knots!!!
I feel your frustration, but you need to get this fixed........NOW before it is too late!!
Its not that simple. I was in jail for 16 months. I shrunk down to 215. I came out with nonexistent endogenous T and no sex drive and people didnt even recognize me. I didnt know how to move in a crowd, stand on a train, do any of that shit because my body was so different. Its like not knowing yourself (and after 16 months in jail its hard enough as it is).
I got back up to 275 and feel good for the first time since I was indicted back in 2002 or 2003 or whatever it was. Maybe I am too emotionally attached to being big, but whatever. Im what I am and I dont hurt people. I work hard. I deserve to get what I work for after going through all this bullshit.
Im upset about the injury. Im upset that Ill get married in a few months and Ill be a fat fraction of what I really am, and in pictures forever, Ill be this injured person.
But yeah, I know I have to get the operation.
No, I dont need a shrink... just venting because its safe to vent to people you dont know. And the feds who read these posts know Im not doing anything illegal. Im sure theyll be glad to see that Im not doing *that* well.
Thanks all. By Friday I think Ill be under the knife.
God I want to puke.
I dont think stretching could have prevented this. I think its divine intervention. God is talking to me, calling me an asshole again.
This happens in conjuction with a death in the family, a major accident for my best friend that wasnt such an accident afterall, the seizure of another bank account, and a bunch of other shit. All in the same month.
whats new?
Thats why I train. For the demons that hold me up and make me who I have come to be. Its the only way I can keep them quiet, on my side, as my partners instead of my pallbearers.
And yeah, I havent been sleeping.
And in another thread I said I wanted to get to 300 lbs and people scoffed.
Ill make it. And it will kill me, Im sure. Thats not a bad thing. It would anyway.
I appreciate your words. Thanks much.
Tt