Are all our EXes into non bodybuilders now?

[james001]

I believe the largest factor is the shear number of non-bodybuilders to body builders. That has to be by far the largest component.

exactly...

 

[Tom]

More than a hunk of meat!!!

I think a great number of guys on this board are college educated or successful businessmen who are more than capable of discussing a variety of issues beyond just mindless gym/protein shake gibberish. For alot of us it's more about being healthy and strong rather than strutting through the mall in a tank top. Some of the discussion in this thread assumes that being a bodybuilder and having a good, loving relationship is not possible because of our so-called meathead mentality. Most of us have been training, eating clean, and being focused long before the current girlfriend came along. Then they want us to do a complete 360 from a lifestyle we've been living for years because it clashes with thier delicate little ego. Hell, all I want is 4 hours a week in the gym and no snide remarks about what I choose to eat in an effort to enhance my physique. Funny how it's so hard to find a woman who can respect how little it takes to be fit, healthy, and strong. I think the vast majority of us hear can interact, and converse just as well as the non-training types, but the conflict lies in other areas as stated by some of the other responses. Specifically who gets more attention, who is in control of the relationship and the idea of the woman having to compete for these things. Ideally the woman you end up with should have just as much interest in being fit, healthy and strong as you. Anything less seems destined to fail.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Guys I hate being an ass here but im going to play devils advocate. Lets look at this as a reflection shall we?

If the last girl you dated, went out with, or had a relationship with was (for sake of argument) nice to look at but with that came a person who all they could talk about was themselves, or were socially inept at having any valuable discussion involving sociology, humor, psychology, politics or current topics (or pretty much anything not involving bodybuilding/fitness conversation)...... lets bottom line it... or maybe she was a bitch or just wasnt a quality nice person.................would you seek out someone just like that again in your next dating/relationship?

Something to think about when you look at your reflection in a mirror.

Whenever I see a bodybuilder say "and she is fucking dating a scrawny blah blah blah now......" I think to myself 'you just dont get it do you bro?'

That shallow shit doesnt matter. No wonder she left you or the relationship ended.

Its like some nagging bitch you broke up with saying to her friends "and the new girl he is with isnt even pretty?!?!" (when you know your new girl is so kind to you, so intelligent, so funny, so sexy to you and has her life/career/outlook so dialed in and put together.... its beyond words your so lucky to have found her).....yet that former nagging bitch still thinks its all about "going to the tanning booth and never missing a nail appointment"

And if it is all about lifting? thats all that matters? Would you want a woman like that where that was the reason she was with you? I feel sorry for any man who takes on that kind of woman in his life....because if you get sick or god forbid something happens healthwise to you, do you think that person is going to stay with you when you get weaker/smaller? Do you think a woman who is with a man for money is going to be with him if he hits hard times/bankruptcy?

Start with thinking "maybe I wasnt as nice a guy as that guy, or maybe that guy treats her better than I did"......and you might be on a more viable path of thought than "and the skinny puke doesnt even lift!!!" which might be the very reason she is thinking about you in the vein of thought of "thank god that self absorbed idiot is out of my life"

This post has noone in mind and it isnt for any one person but man Im seeing some shallow ass superficial posts about visual things that really dont freaking matter in a healthy successful relationship

I've never spoken with DC is but I will say this: He sure can cut through the shit can't he? It's refreshing.

 

[DOGGCRAPP]

Most of us have been training, eating clean, and being focused long before the current girlfriend came along. Then they want us to do a complete 360 from a lifestyle we've been living for years because it clashes with thier delicate little ego. Hell, all I want is 4 hours a week in the gym and no snide remarks about what I choose to eat in an effort to enhance my physique. Funny how it's so hard to find a woman who can respect how little it takes to be fit, healthy, and strong. I think the vast majority of us hear can interact, and converse just as well as the non-training types, but the conflict lies in other areas as stated by some of the other responses. Specifically who gets more attention, who is in control of the relationship and the idea of the woman having to compete for these things. Ideally the woman you end up with should have just as much interest in being fit, healthy and strong as you. Anything less seems destined to fail.

And the above concerns picking the right person to date or having a relationship with. I would hope every one of us would pick people we are compatible with in an interest/hobby sense. If some woman you picked loved singing or golfing, it was her passion and she did it before you and after she met you.....and you started to have a problem with her singing or golfing...I would hope to god she would dump you like a hot potato at that point. And viceversa with your lifting and wanting to stay healthy. But the point I am trying to make here is concerning statements like "and she is dating a skinny puke now" or "the guy she is dating now doesnt even lift!!!" .........That to me is absolutely ridiculous and someone who states that should probably start inner reflecting on who he is as a person character and personality wise because I think he is losing some key points of what is of importance in all this.....or better yet what went wrong with the last relationship.

Tom if you found the woman of your dreams and your drawn to her because she and you meld together, get along absolutely great and complement each other attribute wise.....it just works........(yet you hear your bitchy ex of a girlfriend putting the woman of your dreams down to friends with "and she doesnt even have breast implants like I do!!!") .......seriously what is going thru your mind at that moment about your ex? Me? I would be thinking "wow girlee you just dont get it do you? In fact you never got how this is supposed to work"

 

[Tom]

And the above concerns picking the right person to date or having a relationship with. I would hope every one of us would pick people we are compatible with in an interest/hobby sense. If some woman you picked loved singing or golfing, it was her passion and she did it before you and after she met you.....and you started to have a problem with her singing or golfing...I would hope to god she would dump you like a hot potato at that point. And viceversa with your lifting and wanting to stay healthy. But the point I am trying to make here is concerning statements like "and she is dating a skinny puke now" or "the guy she is dating now doesnt even lift!!!" .........That to me is absolutely ridiculous and someone who states that should probably start inner reflecting on who he is as a person character and personality wise because I think he is losing some key points of what is of importance in all this.....or better yet what went wrong with the last relationship.

Tom if you found the woman of your dreams and your drawn to her because she and you meld together, get along absolutely great and complement each other attribute wise.....it just works........(yet you hear your bitchy ex of a girlfriend putting the woman of your dreams down to friends with "and she doesnt even have breast implants like I do!!!") .......seriously what is going thru your mind at that moment about your ex? Me? I would be thinking "wow girlee you just dont get it do you? In fact you never got how this is supposed to work"

You make excellent points and I agree with everything you state. I hope I would be above the "skinny puke" mentality in reference to an ex's choice in her chosen partner. Choosing to not be a gymrat or even to be in less than optimal health certainly does not diminish one's value as a human being. I guess in any relationship that doesn't work out no matter what the particulars were that caused the relationship to sour, you just have to accept it and have the maturity to move on.

 

[TestPolska]

I think a great number of guys on this board are college educated or successful businessmen who are more than capable of discussing a variety of issues beyond just mindless gym/protein shake gibberish. For alot of us it's more about being healthy and strong rather than strutting through the mall in a tank top. Some of the discussion in this thread assumes that being a bodybuilder and having a good, loving relationship is not possible because of our so-called meathead mentality. Most of us have been training, eating clean, and being focused long before the current girlfriend came along. Then they want us to do a complete 360 from a lifestyle we've been living for years because it clashes with thier delicate little ego. Hell, all I want is 4 hours a week in the gym and no snide remarks about what I choose to eat in an effort to enhance my physique. Funny how it's so hard to find a woman who can respect how little it takes to be fit, healthy, and strong. I think the vast majority of us hear can interact, and converse just as well as the non-training types, but the conflict lies in other areas as stated by some of the other responses. Specifically who gets more attention, who is in control of the relationship and the idea of the woman having to compete for these things. Ideally the woman you end up with should have just as much interest in being fit, healthy and strong as you. Anything less seems destined to fail.

I agree 100 percent. I could care less if a girl I'm dating is into fitness or even goes to a gym, whatever. I just get a little upset with when they take issue with me being in the gym for less than an hour a day 4-5 days a week. And I could certainly do without the smartass comments like 'Chicken and rice AGAIN?! God eat something good'

I guess I'd like to find a women that disreguards my physique and eating habits. One that doesen't hold it against me, and one that doesen't let it be an attraction point either. If people didn't make such a huge deal about someone who obvisously takes care of themselves and bodybuilders already have a stigma about them. It'd be nice to just have a level playing field with the average joe sometimes.

 

[thebrick]

And the above concerns picking the right person to date or having a relationship with. I would hope every one of us would pick people we are compatible with in an interest/hobby sense. If some woman you picked loved singing or golfing, it was her passion and she did it before you and after she met you.....and you started to have a problem with her singing or golfing...I would hope to god she would dump you like a hot potato at that point. And viceversa with your lifting and wanting to stay healthy. But the point I am trying to make here is concerning statements like "and she is dating a skinny puke now" or "the guy she is dating now doesnt even lift!!!" .........That to me is absolutely ridiculous and someone who states that should probably start inner reflecting on who he is as a person character and personality wise because I think he is losing some key points of what is of importance in all this.....or better yet what went wrong with the last relationship.

Tom if you found the woman of your dreams and your drawn to her because she and you meld together, get along absolutely great and complement each other attribute wise.....it just works........(yet you hear your bitchy ex of a girlfriend putting the woman of your dreams down to friends with "and she doesnt even have breast implants like I do!!!") .......seriously what is going thru your mind at that moment about your ex? Me? I would be thinking "wow girlee you just dont get it do you? In fact you never got how this is supposed to work"

So true. I think its amusing that some here are equating being a "skinny little puke" or "doesn't even lift" as automatically being a puss. I think they need to step out into the business world and have a reality check. Its filled with these guys with type A personalities. Power doesn't mean muscle to everyone. To many it means money and influence in the business world. Many, many women are very much attracted to that.

 

[RBB]

So true. I think its amusing that some here are equating being a "skinny little puke" or "doesn't even lift" as automatically being a puss. I think they need to step out into the business world and have a reality check. Its filled with these guys with type A personalities. Power doesn't mean muscle to everyone. To many it means money and influence in the business world. Many, many women are very much attracted to that.

this is exactly right. i know a lot of very successful guys and none of them have a great physique. we as bb'ers place a lot of importance in that, but it just doesn't matter in the real world. like Tom said, being skinny or not lifting doesn't diminish one's value as a human being.

don't get me wrong, i'm as big a gym rat as anyone here. but what we do in the gym doesn't really make us all that special or more attractive to most women looking for a long term relationship.

 

[MightyJohn]

Well..........

A lil on the this topic I just read an article in an old issue of Muscular Development...basicially stating that women generally view more muscular men as better for "flings" & "short term" relationships...whereas they view less muscular men as more faithful & better providers....

 

[DamageInc]

Study says muscular guys get more women than skinny .

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**broken link removed**


Quote:
Muscular men really do get the girls more often than their less brawny brothers ? at least in the short term, research suggests.
The well-muscled are twice as likely to have more sex partners, flings and affairs than those with less toned and chiseled physiques. But in the end, the research suggests, women tend to choose the less buff for long-lasting love.

Women choose musclemen for brief liaisons, but the less burly appear more desirable for long-term relationships because women believe they're more faithful and romantic. The brawny were seen as more domineering and volatile.

"If a man is interested in long-term relationships, maybe he shouldn't spend so much time at the gym," says Martie Haselton, an associate professor at the University of California-Los Angeles and co-author of the research. The study will be published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in August.

Haselton and David Frederick, a UCLA graduate student in psychology, conducted six studies from 2002 to 2006 in which they analyzed responses about muscularity and sexual partners from a total of 788 college students ? 509 women and 279 heterosexual men.

FIND MORE STORIES IN: University of California-Los Angeles
Some of the UCLA studies used photographs of men ranging from slender to brawny and asked heterosexual men to report on the muscular features of their own body type and their sexual relationships. Men who were more muscular than average had twice the number of sex partners, flings and affairs with women who had a boyfriend as those of average or below average muscularity.

The research also compared the men's responses with women's tallies of their sexual encounters and the muscularity of their short- and long-term partners. Sixty-one percent reported that their short-term partners were more muscular than their long-term partners.

Steven Gangestad, a psychology professor at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque who was not involved in the UCLA study, says the research may well be the first to correlate muscularity with sexual prowess.

"Certainly, the study confirms what I believe are people's suspicions: that men who are more fit and more muscular are indeed seen as more attractive."

So most girls want a guy with jacked fibras for a quick fvck, affair, one nighter and want a skinny puss guy to control and raise their kids while they fvck musclebound guys.

lol

 

[DamageInc]

Don't know if that has anything to do with this thread but just felt like posting it.

 

[gten79]

You got it in one. But this is where the real balance has to be had. After a long number of years under the iron and on stage you soon come to realize that if your significant other says why don't you stay home today and let's fool around, or she says I feel like going out to lunch or shopping or whatever the fuck she wants to do and it is GYM DAY FOR MEATHEAD, then you go with her and forgo the gym for that day. All of your hard earned gains will not mysteriously flush down the toilet because you didn't lift today!! Unfortunately not all lifters and BBers will realize this and then end up losing a gorgeous girl to "AVERAGE JOE" who has not got the least interest in setting foot in the gym. It is about balance in your relationship. In general we are a pain in the ass to live with. You must give her, her time with you. She doesn't want to date an iron plate!!! Even if we do!!!

Good Post Old fella

 

[BrooklynBB]

This is what I was looking for, I knew it was not a coincidence.

As far as us being over our exes, believe me thats been done. I was referring to ALL of my exes. To a woman, every single one is with an average Joe. Now Im not talking about the countless conquests I had, but of true ex girlfriends. Each one ended up with some pencilneck or a stuffed bag of cheese.

See bro, actually, I think this was part of the problem.

If you're basing your opinion on others based on how they look (i.e., "pencilneck" "stuffed bag of cheese") I'm pretty sure you did that in the presence of your ex as well. And she was turned OFF by it.

It's absolutely no coincidence that all of your EXes - ALL of them - are now with NON-bodybuilders, because you gave them the perception that all of us are narcissistic, self-serving, non-thinking reactors who don't consider personality and traits other than the physical.

Maybe you need to re-evaluate how you look at people and not name-call based on how they look. You're not sure if they're "pencilnecks" by choice or "stuffed bags of cheese" because of thier chosen lifestyle. Just like you, if they wanted to, they could take drugs and muscle themselves up, but at what expense brother?

I don't mean to be harsh here, but I am purposely not parsing my words: I hope you really don't look at people the way you're expressing here simply based on how they appear physically because you're setting yourself up for a long slew of failed relationships and missed opportunities to have some good friends that happen to be skinny kids or fat people. Who cares how they look? A friend can't be measured by the scale or muscle.

 

[Kaiser]

At 37, I personally can give a shit less about being big anymore. I actually do not want to be big, and wish I could get down under 200 some day, not that that will happen very soon. I care about my wife, my business, my home, and my toys in that order. Because without the first and second I wouldnt have the third and fourth (well, ok, not without the second anyway ). My wife actually left someone who was in great shape for me, let alone a multi-millionaire, so I dont think that a woman really sets that much precedence on body or money if she is truly in love. This being said, sure, I can beilieve that people can go from one end of the spectrum to another. People spend a certain amount of time with people, sometimes they need a change. The mature at a different frequency than their previous mate which is possibly the reason for the breakup in the first place. I also have to tell you, I get more compliments now from women at a lighter weight now then when I was cut at 242 and younger. I hate to say it, but I personally don't think that most women want a man with a big bodybuilder physique, cut or not cut, which I used to think quite the opposite when I was younger.

 

[wedge]

Agreed

Kaiser,

Totally agree. All I get is young cats asking me how much can ya lift and you look great. 20+ years in the gym and had very few women give me a complement. Women really do not care for the BB or PL look. They dig the GQ look but I never got into this sport to get attention but to better myself, stay fit and kill stress.

At 37, I personally can give a shit less about being big anymore. I actually do not want to be big, and wish I could get down under 200 some day, not that that will happen very soon. I care about my wife, my business, my home, and my toys in that order. Because without the first and second I wouldnt have the third and fourth (well, ok, not without the second anyway ). My wife actually left someone who was in great shape for me, let alone a multi-millionaire, so I dont think that a woman really sets that much precedence on body or money if she is truly in love. This being said, sure, I can beilieve that people can go from one end of the spectrum to another. People spend a certain amount of time with people, sometimes they need a change. The mature at a different frequency than their previous mate which is possibly the reason for the breakup in the first place. I also have to tell you, I get more compliments now from women at a lighter weight now then when I was cut at 242 and younger. I hate to say it, but I personally don't think that most women want a man with a big bodybuilder physique, cut or not cut, which I used to think quite the opposite when I was younger.

 

[Dusty Hanshaw]

Today is the first time I actually read this thread and I have to tell you guys why I finally did. This weekend HF and I had a female friend of ours stay over and she mentioned that she had gotten hooked on the board since we introduced it to her. Well after talking for a few minutes she starts laughing and tells us about this thread and how funny it is that guys actually think women base there decision of who to spend there life with on muscle. I think it's time for some of us to take a look at who MOST women find attractive and understand that most of them aren't overly self involved BBers. I always say that i have been lucky to find a woman that will put up with my BBing not that she is lucky I look so HUGE .

Trust me when I say I get a lot fewer looks now that I'm over 280lbs than I did when I was tipping the scales at 215lbs.

Physical attributes may be enough to get someone to walk across a room but trust me, they won't be enough to build a successful relationship around.

 

[JETHRO TULL]

Dusty, your post is good and I agree with it.

Today is the first time I actually read this thread and I have to tell you guys why I finally did. This weekend HF and I had a female friend of ours stay over and she mentioned that she had gotten hooked on the board since we introduced it to her. Well after talking for a few minutes she starts laughing and tells us about this thread and how funny it is that guys actually think women base there decision of who to spend there life with on muscle. I think it's time for some of us to take a look at who MOST women find attractive and understand that most of them aren't overly self involved BBers. I always say that i have been lucky to find a woman that will put up with my BBing not that she is lucky I look so HUGE .

Trust me when I say I get a lot fewer looks now that I'm over 280lbs than I did when I was tipping the scales at 215lbs.

Physical attributes may be enough to get someone to walk across a room but trust me, they won't be enough to build a successful relationship around.

But, you obviously haven't tried dressing up as the COWARDLY LOIN. You do that at 280lbs and you'll get all the 'relationships' you can shake a stick at.

 

[maldorf]

I could care less what women find attractive. I am in bodybuilding for myself, not to make myself more attractive to others. Guess I am lucky that I am married. You can pick out the guys that come to the gym to look better for the girls. They usually head straight for either the flat bench or the curl bar. The gyms usually fill up with them during spring break time too!