- Joined
- Feb 25, 2012
- Messages
- 771
For those that have been married, been married, for those that have decided to the dating seen wasn't enough, for those that have grown up, made a decision to be committed in a relationship, etc etc
Before you made that big jump, before you said "I DO" before you trusted your heart, mind and soul and decided to just take the leap of faith and said "fuck it" I'm doing it regardless, have you failed or notice indicators that just weren't right but you decided to just get legally married anyway?
Did age play a factor in the relationship, income level, educational level, family lifestyle, past make a difference? If the person that you have a relationship with, married to, engage to disrespect you in any way shape or form. How did you handle that situation, what did you do to make things right. How did you fix those issues? Love is a powerful emotion, love is the hard puzzle of life that many of us even professionals don't have the answer for. I love my fiancé to death, were about to get married, we have a decent relationship, however, I've notice certain things that make me have second thoughts, doubts and honestly a lil bit of insecurity. I know that she loves me to death as well, however, we have a great deal of age difference between us, she is younger than me, way younger, she still lives with parents and she has been spoiled all of her life, she usually does whatever without interference or someone telling her not to do certain actions, etc.
I have notice that she acts on emotions and feelings without "THINKING" first, I have notice a certain level of disrespect, certain actions, I've notice that she has been verbally abusive, has done things without thinking, makes rush decisions and then apologizes for them once she realizes her mistakes. She has told me some things that could make any mans jaw drop, she has hurt me emotionally and even has been disrespectful in front of her parents and siblings. One day she told me that she has seen her mother disrespect her father, even spit on his face, has struck him in some sort of fashion. That a man is not suppose to touch a woman, regardless of what they do and that a woman could put a man in jail for just about any reason, that a woman could make a man lose his job, career, financial gains and everything that he has worked for because of a woman, because a woman has a lot of power, etc etc. I could put more things on here but I will not, I just notice that she has acted out of anger, hormones being out of whack, has said things that I myself would never say to my significant other, especially to the person that I want to marry but thats just me.
Now she's not a bad person, she truly has a beautiful heart, she's a good girl, she has truly changed my life. Now don't get me wrong, no relationship is "PERFECT" no man or woman is perfect, we have to pick and choose those battles that are worth fighting for, quitting is always an easy solution to any problem in life, even relationships, marriage etc. She has never cheated on me nor have I and we have that mutual understanding. However, some of her actions just puzzle me to the extent that I wonder if love is suppose to be like this? I have worked extremely hard to be successful in life, came from a broken family, both my father and mother died young because of drug and alcohol abuse, I didn't come from a stable background, I came from an abusive family, I have been in shelters, homes, in the streets and I have even lived in my car and in the streets of new york when I was abandon by those that were suppose to by my family. I've seen my father destroyed himself and become a bum in the streets to the point that I as a child I would see my father in the streets sleeping next to a fire hydrant with a bottle of liquor in his hands with dirty clothes, just a bum. My father died of AIDS because of drug abuse, my father died when he was only in his 40's, my mother died of AIDS and committed suicide, I met my father at the tender age of 8 yrs of age and I met my real mother when I was barely 18 yrs old, when I say that I have experience some shit in my life, trust me that I have. I'm not here for people to judge me or have pity on me I just want to illustrate that I have come from terrible odds and managed to become a success in life. I didn't allow my misfortunes to ruin my life, I didn't choose drugs or alcohol now I can't say that I have been perfect because I have committed some mistakes in life but despite the odds, despite my past I can honestly share that I have accomplished A LOT. I have gone to war for my country, countless of times been in the middle east, Iraq/Afghanistan, I took chances as being a combat soldier in the Army, I did things that I truly can't discuss of talk about in here but I can honestly share that I have gone, done and seen what most people wouldn't even dare to see, do or take action. I often wonder why I didn't die in battle, in war and why did I survive such terrible odds, sometimes I carry the guilt of serving with other soldiers and seeing them die in action, hurt, etc. After 16 yrs in the military I called it quits, got injured in battle by an IED blast, I sustained major injuries, TBI, broken bones, scars, tears, blood, sweat and many scarred memories that will live with me to eternity. I guess that trying to explain to civilians, forums, family or friends is hard to do, because after all, you have to LIVE THE EXPERIENCE in order to understand it. No amount of talk, explanation, battle stories, life stories can truly relate.
I don't have any family, no parents, no kids, never been married, I was always careful not to have kids because I wasn't prepared or ready, I've dated countless of nationalities, woman's, etc I have lived with many as well and I have shared and done my share of bad things in relationships too. I haven't been a perfect man, nor can I take the credit for it. All I know is that I promised myself never to be like my parents, like my father or mother, I promised myself not to have any kids with just anybody, I promised myself to do whatever it takes to make it in life, to be a success, to contribute to society and just be a good citizen. I have managed to become financially successful, I've manage to go to college and get a degree even with a GED, I managed to own a beautiful home that many people would only dare to have or dream, I have had boats, motorcycles, high end cars, material things, travel the globe, I have a secure future, I don't have debt I am an extremely clean guy, most of my friends think that I have a secret maid, overall financially and with material things I have been successful. But money, material things, boats, cars, houses, toys, college degrees, profession attire, high end clothes, etc can't make you completely happy until you share those things with someone who loves you unconditionally and appreciates you completely with faults, mistakes, bad past, and the list goes on.. I'm truly a good hearted man, I have a good heart, not a perfect heart but a good heart. Many misunderstand me because they don't know me, many have envied me and labeled me because they don't understand where I have been or came from but thats ok because we don't live in a perfect world. Anyway, excuse my typos, grammatical errors, etc etc or extended thread post I just came here to share a lil bit about myself, a lil about my past, a lil about whats going on and a lil about my relationship with this person that I would truly love unconditionally.
I truly would appreciate some honest feedback, constructive criticism, guidance, opinions, etc but please keep negativity away if thats the case. :naughty: In advance, THANK YOU!
Before you made that big jump, before you said "I DO" before you trusted your heart, mind and soul and decided to just take the leap of faith and said "fuck it" I'm doing it regardless, have you failed or notice indicators that just weren't right but you decided to just get legally married anyway?
Did age play a factor in the relationship, income level, educational level, family lifestyle, past make a difference? If the person that you have a relationship with, married to, engage to disrespect you in any way shape or form. How did you handle that situation, what did you do to make things right. How did you fix those issues? Love is a powerful emotion, love is the hard puzzle of life that many of us even professionals don't have the answer for. I love my fiancé to death, were about to get married, we have a decent relationship, however, I've notice certain things that make me have second thoughts, doubts and honestly a lil bit of insecurity. I know that she loves me to death as well, however, we have a great deal of age difference between us, she is younger than me, way younger, she still lives with parents and she has been spoiled all of her life, she usually does whatever without interference or someone telling her not to do certain actions, etc.
I have notice that she acts on emotions and feelings without "THINKING" first, I have notice a certain level of disrespect, certain actions, I've notice that she has been verbally abusive, has done things without thinking, makes rush decisions and then apologizes for them once she realizes her mistakes. She has told me some things that could make any mans jaw drop, she has hurt me emotionally and even has been disrespectful in front of her parents and siblings. One day she told me that she has seen her mother disrespect her father, even spit on his face, has struck him in some sort of fashion. That a man is not suppose to touch a woman, regardless of what they do and that a woman could put a man in jail for just about any reason, that a woman could make a man lose his job, career, financial gains and everything that he has worked for because of a woman, because a woman has a lot of power, etc etc. I could put more things on here but I will not, I just notice that she has acted out of anger, hormones being out of whack, has said things that I myself would never say to my significant other, especially to the person that I want to marry but thats just me.
Now she's not a bad person, she truly has a beautiful heart, she's a good girl, she has truly changed my life. Now don't get me wrong, no relationship is "PERFECT" no man or woman is perfect, we have to pick and choose those battles that are worth fighting for, quitting is always an easy solution to any problem in life, even relationships, marriage etc. She has never cheated on me nor have I and we have that mutual understanding. However, some of her actions just puzzle me to the extent that I wonder if love is suppose to be like this? I have worked extremely hard to be successful in life, came from a broken family, both my father and mother died young because of drug and alcohol abuse, I didn't come from a stable background, I came from an abusive family, I have been in shelters, homes, in the streets and I have even lived in my car and in the streets of new york when I was abandon by those that were suppose to by my family. I've seen my father destroyed himself and become a bum in the streets to the point that I as a child I would see my father in the streets sleeping next to a fire hydrant with a bottle of liquor in his hands with dirty clothes, just a bum. My father died of AIDS because of drug abuse, my father died when he was only in his 40's, my mother died of AIDS and committed suicide, I met my father at the tender age of 8 yrs of age and I met my real mother when I was barely 18 yrs old, when I say that I have experience some shit in my life, trust me that I have. I'm not here for people to judge me or have pity on me I just want to illustrate that I have come from terrible odds and managed to become a success in life. I didn't allow my misfortunes to ruin my life, I didn't choose drugs or alcohol now I can't say that I have been perfect because I have committed some mistakes in life but despite the odds, despite my past I can honestly share that I have accomplished A LOT. I have gone to war for my country, countless of times been in the middle east, Iraq/Afghanistan, I took chances as being a combat soldier in the Army, I did things that I truly can't discuss of talk about in here but I can honestly share that I have gone, done and seen what most people wouldn't even dare to see, do or take action. I often wonder why I didn't die in battle, in war and why did I survive such terrible odds, sometimes I carry the guilt of serving with other soldiers and seeing them die in action, hurt, etc. After 16 yrs in the military I called it quits, got injured in battle by an IED blast, I sustained major injuries, TBI, broken bones, scars, tears, blood, sweat and many scarred memories that will live with me to eternity. I guess that trying to explain to civilians, forums, family or friends is hard to do, because after all, you have to LIVE THE EXPERIENCE in order to understand it. No amount of talk, explanation, battle stories, life stories can truly relate.
I don't have any family, no parents, no kids, never been married, I was always careful not to have kids because I wasn't prepared or ready, I've dated countless of nationalities, woman's, etc I have lived with many as well and I have shared and done my share of bad things in relationships too. I haven't been a perfect man, nor can I take the credit for it. All I know is that I promised myself never to be like my parents, like my father or mother, I promised myself not to have any kids with just anybody, I promised myself to do whatever it takes to make it in life, to be a success, to contribute to society and just be a good citizen. I have managed to become financially successful, I've manage to go to college and get a degree even with a GED, I managed to own a beautiful home that many people would only dare to have or dream, I have had boats, motorcycles, high end cars, material things, travel the globe, I have a secure future, I don't have debt I am an extremely clean guy, most of my friends think that I have a secret maid, overall financially and with material things I have been successful. But money, material things, boats, cars, houses, toys, college degrees, profession attire, high end clothes, etc can't make you completely happy until you share those things with someone who loves you unconditionally and appreciates you completely with faults, mistakes, bad past, and the list goes on.. I'm truly a good hearted man, I have a good heart, not a perfect heart but a good heart. Many misunderstand me because they don't know me, many have envied me and labeled me because they don't understand where I have been or came from but thats ok because we don't live in a perfect world. Anyway, excuse my typos, grammatical errors, etc etc or extended thread post I just came here to share a lil bit about myself, a lil about my past, a lil about whats going on and a lil about my relationship with this person that I would truly love unconditionally.
I truly would appreciate some honest feedback, constructive criticism, guidance, opinions, etc but please keep negativity away if thats the case. :naughty: In advance, THANK YOU!