Take a breath bro. Tech shit can be infuriating when it's new.
If you have a CC use that on coinbase. I have the highest verification there is on coinbase so I cant say for certain what the rules are for you. I honestly think if its up to 1k, a credit card will say "funds available instantly". A checking card and a debit card are treated the same for obvious reasons. You "may" have to contact your bank if it's a smaller one and tell them that a charge is coming through from coinbase. A lot of banks are cunty about crypto even though hedge funds are buying hundreds of millions and inflating each coin...It's total bullshit but it's part of the game.
I know that I can order 10k in crypto a day and have the funds available instantly. You should be good for a grand but Im not positive.
You just need to navigate the bullshit first (set up 2FA, get your license scanned, possibly deal with your bank, whatever) and you're good to go.
If you use cashapp, it should be as simple as using your credit card to preorder fast food. If not, you may be doing something wrong or that changed too.