Bodybuilders in Recovery (friends of Bill)

[phosphorylation]

It has come to my attention that there are quite a few of us on here that are in recovery from some type of drug or alcohol addiction. Its good to know there are some people who share my passion as well as my disease. And since were already anonymous on here, I thought it would be cool to have our own thread; to offer support, bounce off ideas, share experiences et cetera. As of late I have been struggling with cravings that are as intense as my first 30 days. (i'm almost 2 years sober) Only a couple people in the program know that I use steroids, my girlfriend being one of them. She suggested that maybe these old behaviors of having to hide usage and whatnot could be leading me in the wrong direction. I would love to hear from some of you guys that are in the same boat and it would be great to have this thread grow with love and support. The AA/NA gossip can be too much around here and I choose not to subject myself to the judgement and shunning that would come from sharing my gear use with the rest of my friends in recovery.

 

[rock512]

hello, I would like to commend you on several fronts...first being a couple of years sober is no small thing, second starting this thread - wish I would have thought of it, and third being strong enough and sober enough to admit to someone - somewhere that your currently feeling "cravings"...all that is an awesome thing to witness
I have been a sober member of AA since feb. 12 of 2004 solely due to the grace of God...now for my .02 lol. I believe (just my opinion) that it is very important to distinguish the difference between cravings and mental obsession.
To me, it is critical because I cannot experience craving (physical) without first using and that as we know it the most dangerous place to be, where relapse is imminent and requires immediate attention...where as obsession is mental and much less immediately dangerous...it can be brought under control by applying the steps, which is really just maintaining my spiritual fitness and living in my relationship with my higher power...the solution is the same for both - its just that we all can experience the mental at many various times, but if I really experience cravings too often - well lets just say my chances would be less than average...hope that takes away the power of your feelings and puts the power back in you (we tapped into an unexpected inner resource of power) I think it says
again thanks

 

[osiris]

As you might have read, i am norm and i am an addict=-) I was a really good junkie but now i am a really good person, so i owe a lot to the twelve step program. It saved my life and showed me a new way to live. There are more of us here than you could imagine.

 

[dukkitdalaw]

My name is Dukki and I have over 6 years clean.

Jail made me reevaluate my life and I realized I didnt want to be that person anymore.

Also started lifting weights in jail. So in all honesty it was a life saver.

Got out and started researching and learning correct training and diet.

Then got into gear use.

Steroids... my anti-drug.

 

[phosphorylation]

Thanks Rock, and the rest of you guys. Its amazing how changing a couple things for the better can alleviate whatever situation I'm going through. I followed some suggestions and got out of myself...feeling much better now. self centeredness, we think, was the root of our problem.

 

[osiris]

My name is Dukki and I have over 6 years clean.

Jail made me reevaluate my life and I realized I didnt want to be that person anymore.

Also started lifting weights in jail. So in all honesty it was a life saver.

Got out and started researching and learning correct training and diet.

Then got into gear use.

Steroids... my anti-drug.

You something about addicts in recovery like yourself bro, they are some of my best friends!!!! Awesome job on 6 months. One of these days we gotta hang out over a few diet cokes=-)

5 this november for me!!! I am thinking about going all out and heading to the local pub for a shirley temple!

 

[liftalot79]

This is a Good thing!

My name Chuck and i'm greatful to be here today alive. Through the fellowship, friends, family, and a Higher power I will have 5yrs in November. I have a great Job no career, a new wife as of 9/10/11 and i'm happy. We that have lived as Junkies, stole, lied and cheated have a right to stand up proud. It is not an easy task coming out of Active Addiction let alone staying out of it.

I Commend each and everyone of you!!! PM if you need to talk I'm here always!

liftalot79

 

[osiris]

My name Chuck and i'm greatful to be here today alive. Through the fellowship, friends, family, and a Higher power I will have 5yrs in November. I have a great Job no career, a new wife as of 9/10/11 and i'm happy. We that have lived as Junkies, stole, lied and cheated have a right to stand up proud. It is not an easy task coming out of Active Addiction let alone staying out of it.

I Commend each and everyone of you!!! PM if you need to talk I'm here always!

liftalot79

Nice brother.....we are going to get 5 the same month. Lets hope in 20 more years we are still here trying to be beasts and talking about hitting 25! I think if we stay steadfast and humble before our god we will=-)

 

[dukkitdalaw]

You something about addicts in recovery like yourself bro, they are some of my best friends!!!! Awesome job on 6 months. One of these days we gotta hang out over a few diet cokes=-)

5 this november for me!!! I am thinking about going all out and heading to the local pub for a shirley temple!

Diet cokes it is!

Sometimes I get ppl who dont know me, think that I am cocky, or egotistical.

I really am not.

What I am.. is PROUD. I survived some tough times, lost everything. My freedom, my place, my car, my belongings, some of my family, etc... and I came out a better person.

Some ppl go through hell and become a worse person.

If that comes off as cocky... so be it. I like who I am now.

 

[osiris]

Diet cokes it is!

Sometimes I get ppl who dont know me, think that I am cocky, or egotistical.

I really am not.

What I am.. is PROUD. I survived some tough times, lost everything. My freedom, my place, my car, my belongings, some of my family, etc... and I came out a better person.

Some ppl go through hell and become a worse person.

If that comes off as cocky... so be it. I like who I am now.

I get the same thing man. Sad thing is a lot of it is on the internet. I wasted too much time shooting shit into my veins to waste time beating around the bush, so when i answer posts or chme in, its direct. Apparently some people get their little feelings hurt=-)

 

[j-hawk]

That Demon

Nothing brings that demon to the door, for me, faster than a relationship gone sour. Feelings were a gift of working the steps, getting in tuned with my emotions. When things are good the feelings are intense, when they go bad they are devestating. Add in the hormones and now my emotions seem amplified, which is horrible right now. But I go to a meeting and help another addict. That gets me outside of myself. And hearing others problems, like struggling to not drink, makes mine seem small. It works if you work it!

 

[osiris]

Nothing brings that demon to the door, for me, faster than a relationship gone sour. Feelings were a gift of working the steps, getting in tuned with my emotions. When things are good the feelings are intense, when they go bad they are devestating. Add in the hormones and now my emotions seem amplified, which is horrible right now. But I go to a meeting and help another addict. That gets me outside of myself. And hearing others problems, like struggling to not drink, makes mine seem small. It works if you work it!

Glad to see you in the thread j-hawk. Relationships are trying even with significant clean time. In the very beginning we tend to get addicted tot he relationship so it takes the place of the drug. The problem is that relationships, especially with the choices we make both in active addiction and when first coming out of it, are almost inevitably toxic. Every once in a while we luck out and find a great woman, who will not only allow us to grow as we need to in recovery but will both support and encourage it.

This is part of the reason why we should make no major decisions in the first year of recovery. And choosing to be in a relationship is a huge choice. I know for almost the first year i surrounded myself with my friends from the program, i hung out with all of them and did some of the most fun things i have ever done sober. There were a few flings with other members, its a part of the program, its not right but it does happen, BUT i let nothing serious develop because i knew i wasnt ready.

Feelings in and of themselves are not good or bad, it is only our reactions to them that can be quantified. And god knows with our ability to make a mountain out of a mole hill, anything negative will definitely seem amplified. What i did in the early days was when things got tough, i would repeat the third step prayer and if that failed, i got down on my knees and got humble and prayed for relief from the obsession and compulsion over what was going on inside my head=-)

If anyone ever needs to talk i am here. I do not know a lot but i do know that through NA, the 12steps, and my god.....i never have to get high again=-)

 

[Performance Based]

I would say a very large percentage of this forum has severe addiction disorders, hell we all inject ourselves frequently even haha!

used to have a serious drinking problem for around 2 years, 1/2 handle of ever clear a day. Haven't had a sip in five years now, not even wine with dinner.

Wound up putting someone in a wheel chair for the rest of his life (gave my best friend heroin, she overdosed and died), was a huge wake up call for me (nearly going to jail for years). To this day I still would have responded violently but not nearly to that point, it was inexcusable on my part. That and my ex back in college was pregnant, she would sneak out and go partying. Got in a car crash and lost the child. I don't want anything to do with that sort of self destructive shit anymore.

Anyone that has current addictions, all I can say is YOU have to make the change. Its hard, its painful, its miserable but in the long run your life will be so infinately better. You've got to save yourself because no one can do it for you.

 

[Jamez45]

I don't have any posts on PM..but i saw this thread and had to chime in..I have been sober since June 6th 2006..I was a raw as you get, smoked crack, slamed dope and oxy's and drank like everyday was my last, i got in a bad car accident june 5th and since that day i've clean by the grace of god and..bodybuilding I am honest when i say this, I do find my VERY addictive personality come into play when it comes to AAS and trying to be the best at whatever i am doing. Sometimes I have to take a step back(literaily and figurtive) and rethink some of my decisions or i would put my health in risk again..anyway good to be here. Love the thread.

 

[littlebill]

I don't have any posts on PM..but i saw this thread and had to chime in..I have been sober since June 6th 2006..I was a raw as you get, smoked crack, slamed dope and oxy's and drank like everyday was my last, i got in a bad car accident june 5th and since that day i've clean by the grace of god and..bodybuilding I am honest when i say this, I do find my VERY addictive personality come into play when it comes to AAS and trying to be the best at whatever i am doing. Sometimes I have to take a step back(literaily and figurtive) and rethink some of my decisions or i would put my health in risk again..anyway good to be here. Love the thread.

Welcome Jamez and thank you for posting.

 

[TeknoViking]

I started young and thankfully figured it out at 23 after doing my time. I am a better person because of it 100%. My parents are 30 years older then me and these days they call me for advice, who would of thought. Pretty crazy shit when you think about it.

It made me a much more deep person.

 

[phosphorylation]

I started young and thankfully figured it out at 23 after doing my time. I am a better person because of it 100%. My parents are 30 years older then me and these days they call me for advice, who would of thought. Pretty crazy shit when you think about it.

It made me a much more deep person.

Yeah its always kind of surreal when your parents are asking for your advice...I was blessed enough to help my mom get through some hard times these last couple years. I'm like you bro, I got sober at 22 after a solid 10 years of hardcore drug abuse. Its a miracle I made it out alive and with no criminal record to speak of.

 

[Sepjuice1]

i've lost one career bc of drugs, and almost my family.thank god for second chances and good ppl. Everyone who has used knows how different of a person u are when "your on one" and how hard it is to break out of that life. definitely the hardest thing i've ever had to do. been clean for 844 days and counting.

 

[Hell]

I'll have 15 months next week.

 

[littlebill]

i've lost one career bc of drugs, and almost my family.thank god for second chances and good ppl. Everyone who has used knows how different of a person u are when "your on one" and how hard it is to break out of that life. definitely the hardest thing i've ever had to do. been clean for 844 days and counting.

And tomorrow will be 845. That's awesome man. I'm closing in on 2 months. Still one day at a time.