Can't stop cheating

[280]

I cannot stop cheating; I’ve always been a cheater, slept with hundreds of women during my life. I am not bragging, at this point I am discouraged and I really need help. In the summer months I will have 4-7 girlfriends and I am married. My wife knows I cheat and she still stands by me, she just says to come home and she loves me. I pray to GOD to take the desire for other women away but I still cheat. I am going to meet one of my girlfriends tonight at a hotel, half of me wants to stay home and half wants to go out and sleep with women. I love my wife but I guess not enough. The women I date know I am married and they accept it. I only date black women and I guess I am addicted. Addicted because the women are so sweet, beautiful, kind and loving, there are so many lonely beautiful black women out there. Should I go to church more, should I pray more, should I just leave my marriage until I can find a woman that will make me want to stop. How can I stop?


Peace

 

[strongmind]

http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm

I'm sorry I don't have time to respond to this right now, 280... Maybe others on here can relate to your experience and offer some advice.

Just know that you are not alone. You can get help. Check out this link for starters.

I cannot stop cheating; I’ve always been a cheater, slept with hundreds of women during my life. I am not bragging, at this point I am discouraged and I really need help. In the summer months I will have 4-7 girlfriends and I am married. My wife knows I cheat and she still stands by me, she just says to come home and she loves me. I pray to GOD to take the desire for other women away but I still cheat. I am going to meet one of my girlfriends tonight at a hotel, half of me wants to stay home and half wants to go out and sleep with women. I love my wife but I guess not enough. The women I date know I am married and they accept it. I only date black women and I guess I am addicted. Addicted because the women are so sweet, beautiful, kind and loving, there are so many lonely beautiful black women out there. Should I go to church more, should I pray more, should I just leave my marriage until I can find a woman that will make me want to stop. How can I stop?


Peace

 

[maxsupplements]

bro....

dont really know where to start to talk aobut this. but i will say this... you will have to deal with yourself on this in all honesty... sounds to me like you might have a small self esteem issue, and need to feed it by getting attention from other females than your loving, trusting wife. jsut by your comments about how black women are so "sweet, beautiful, kind and loving" sounds to me like you just have it out for finding attenion in other places. does your wife not meet your needs in this area? dude, i would say you need some counseling. with your wife involved. you should try to get this covered. try to work on your marriage. after all, you did get married for LIFE. so, go get into some marriage counseling. and as well, get into some of your own. as strongmind said, you might be sex addicted... im sorry, but my ex wife has some issues like this. it wasnt so much the sex that she was after, but the attention. so, i would say, dude, love your wife. GIVE HER THE ATTENTION. if you had a second thought about NOT GOING TO CHEAT, then you should have KEPT YOUR ASS AT HOME..

sorry if i sound harsh, or rude, but man. you should be trying to love and care for your wife. especially if you have any kids..

 

[280]

Thanks for the advice maxsupplements. Its not harsh at all, I knew someone would say I have or the girls I date have low self esteem. It seams to make some guys upset and/or jealous that some guys get a lot of women. So what do they do, attack the guy or the women and try to degrade him. Having a lot of women is not that fun, after about 5 it’s a full time job. That said, having low self esteem is not my problem, just the opposite. Other than that comment, I do appreciate the help and think you made since. Yes, my wife has NEVER once said no to me regarding sex, she wants it every night. I think the sex gets a little old after a couple of years. Its more about the excitement. I really need to just go to church 3 times a week and really get involved and change my life.

Peace brothers

 

[strongmind]

It does sound to me like you have an addiction to sex, but just like any addiction, it's not about the thing you are addicted to. It's not about the sex, it's not about your "love" for women. It's about filling a void in YOU. Something is missing in your life and your way of coping with that is the "high" you get from cheating, in the same way an alcoholic soothes his pain by drinking.

But this only serves to cause more pain and isn't really addressing the problem.

Have you ever sought professional help for this, 280? You're going to need some help to deal with this. Do you think that's something you'd be willing to do?

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

280, I would not be the first to cast a stone because I have been there and done that! AND YES exclusively with black women for years! However there comes a time when you need to ask whats more impotant. Your wife or your soul? As for me I wouldn't give either one up and that's why I got back on my hands and knees and asked God for some spiritual guidance. Ask and ye shall recieve. Knock and it shall be opened. Ask anything in "Jesus" name and it shall be yours. Don't ever be to proud to get on your knees brother. I hope all works out for you my friend!

 

[maxsupplements]

. It seams to make some guys upset and/or jealous that some guys get a lot of women. So what do they do, attack the guy or the women and try to degrade him.

dude, im not trying to degrade you.. i am sickened at myself sometimes when i think of all the women i have been with.upwards of a hundred, but by no means as many as you are claiming to have been with... but they are of all races except black. just not my style. trust me when you say dating 5 women is a full time job.. dude, i have been there DONE THAT. and to be quite honest, i have no desire to continue to do that. i would like to have one decent woman to TRUST and love.. Trust is hard to find these days...


280, listen carefully to what strongmind has to say. she speaks of wisdom. its not necessarliy the sex as it is just an ADDICTION period. you have to admit you have a problem, as the first step, then you have got to make some action to make some changes. church would be a great step, another great step would be to get some counseling. you and your wife. both of you need to focus on your loving relationship called a marriage and you need to remember that marriage is a sacred covenant to be share between a man and woman. when they come together in holy matrimony, you become ONE flesh in the eyes of Christ. If you are a christian, that is your decision to do that or not. if you are not a christian, and believe in OPEN relationships, then TO EACH HIS OWN. its all you bro. if i seem at all harsh i apologize. i just dont have much of a tolerance for cheating people. i have been cheated on by my EX wife and man, it jurt me. and it has taken me some time to get over it. so, i apologize if i come across bluntly. but i see you are frusterated and tired of doing this, so, maybe, just maybe you might take some of the advice here and get some help man. from man to man- its not bad to look inside yourself and to evaluate yourself. i have been to countless hours of counseling, grief counseling, divorce counseling, marriage counseling, personal counseling, etc... its healthy man. just give it a shot.

 

[hiddenbelow]

My opinion is probably going to be a little different than most and as I said this is a opinion.

First question you need to ask yourself?? Do you honestly think sleeping with other women is a problem? Being a personal question. Meaning no one elses opinion matters.

In all seriousness things will never be a problem untill you yourself truly see it as a problem. That is the way the mind works no one can force you too believe anything you make that decision on your own.

If you think their is something wrong with it address it. Now I think you have answered the first question already by asking for help here. You think you have a problem and you want to fix it.

I do not believe religion is the answer. If you have to go sit in a building with other people to keep you from cheating you have some issues way beyond cheating alone.

There also is a large community of people in this world known as swingers. They sleep with multiple partners share their partners with others willingly and enjoy doing so. Maybe you would enjoy being part of that community.

Why did you get married if you enjoy having sex with other women?

I am sure you have the will power to stop doing this if you want to. So if you truly want to stop do it man. If you don't want to stop and your wife stays content with you being with other women then be safe and get yourself checked out often. If you truly love your wife and someday you find out you brought her a STD that will hurt you more than anything ever in your life.

Its kinda like feeding your mom or dad some virus that could kill them.

Be strong man and think.. Use your head to evaluate things plain and simple. If you need other to help you through it I am sure plenty of people will do so.

Alright I am rambling late

 

[ForemanRules]

I cannot stop cheating; I’ve always been a cheater, slept with hundreds of women during my life. I am not bragging, at this point I am discouraged and I really need help. In the summer months I will have 4-7 girlfriends and I am married. My wife knows I cheat and she still stands by me, she just says to come home and she loves me. I pray to GOD to take the desire for other women away but I still cheat. I am going to meet one of my girlfriends tonight at a hotel, half of me wants to stay home and half wants to go out and sleep with women. I love my wife but I guess not enough. The women I date know I am married and they accept it. I only date black women and I guess I am addicted. Addicted because the women are so sweet, beautiful, kind and loving, there are so many lonely beautiful black women out there. Should I go to church more, should I pray more, should I just leave my marriage until I can find a woman that will make me want to stop. How can I stop?


Peace

The solution is simple, do what my best friend does....tell the truth and sleep with as many woman as you want, but do not lie to any of them.

You also have huge insecurity issues so go get professional help fast.

 

[280]

The solution is simple, do what my best friend does....tell the truth and sleep with as many woman as you want, but do not lie to any of them.

You also have huge insecurity issues so go get professional help fast.

yea yea yea I know. Every guy who gets laid alot has insecurity issues blah, blah blah. That just tells me the person saying that (ie ForemanRules) does not get laid, it makes no since. Please someone come up with a new line, hating on me with juvenile remarks is not helping anyone. There are many confident guys who get laid a lot, that’s one of the reasons why they get laid, women love a confident man. Don't hate me because you can't get laid. I am am just asking for help.

 

[280]

BOOMSHAKER thank you for the best advice a person could give.

peace

 

[maxsupplements]

dude..

yea yea yea I know. Every guy who gets laid alot has insecurity issues blah, blah blah. That just tells me the person saying that (ie ForemanRules) does not get laid, it makes no since. Please someone come up with a new line, hating on me with juvenile remarks is not helping anyone. There are many confident guys who get laid a lot, that’s one of the reasons why they get laid, women love a confident man. Don't hate me because you can't get laid. I am am just asking for help.

sounds like you dont need any advice then... go screw other women, no one really cares it looks like... you dont have any insecurities.. just go screw another 200, and get a little disease called HIV, and then bring that back to your wife....

dude, hate to tell yu this, but just cause someone says you might have some insecurities, doesnt have anything to do whether they get alot of ass or not. sorry if you thought otherwise..

just think about what you are doing to your relationship.. and if it doesnt bother YOU, then go ahead and do what you do. if you can live with you, then thats all that really matters..

this is an internet board. . we live thousands of miles apart. hell, i would invite you to come down here and take some of these ethnic women off my hands. i personally am not into black women. just not for me. so, if you want, holla! i could line you up with about 10 if you want...

ps- oh and you asked for help.. and you are getting peoples opionions here, but then you say they dont get ass... dude, thats what you wanted.. opinions... and thats what you got.. whether or not you want to listen to them is your business...

good luck.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Wow. Great thread... oy vey! Only two possibilities:

1. You really did have sex with all those women. (Disturbing)
2. You really didn't and are posting this for attention. (Equally disturbing)

so here goes by scenario...

1. You seem to not want to take any serious advice (blah blah blah, etc.) even though you felt COMPELLED to post this in the "Counselling" Forum. Very strange. If you want reasons why you should not behave this way, there are many. First there is the obvious chance of disease or unwanted pregnancies. Second, you are ruining your future chance of ever finding a truly serious bond with a person you love (don't try to say that person is your wife). Third, you're married. So you are making a fool of her and she's so insecure that she doesn't have the courage to get out of a relationship that could be putting her very health in jeopardy - not to mention the plethora of emotional health risks for her. Five, you're taking advantage of your wife and her affection because it's seem to be clear that's all you want from her. So all you are doing is taking everything and giving NOTHING. To anybody.

2. More likely. You made this up or just posted it informatively to express to us all what a stud you are. If this is the case, you may not need therapy or counseling but just someone to tell you how pathetic and transparent it is to do such a thing. We are all very impressed by your sexual prowess and were we not the trolls we are, we would love to follow in your footsteps oh great one.

So either you're a thoughtless, self-involved individual with no regard for anyone but yourself, a major storyteller with low sexual self-esteem, or the least likely: someone who needs real therapy for a sex addiction/nymphomaniacal disorder.

 

[K1]

No need to reply to this...OTH has said everything...Nuff said!!!

 

[maxsupplements]

No need to reply to this...OTH has said everything...Nuff said!!!

aint that the truth... i wonder if he will still say we are all a bunch of "no ass" gettin "fools" lol....

well, if thats the case, then bro.. i guess i get NO ass... hell, i guess when we think realistically, i HAVENT gotten laid in a month or so.. so, yea.. you got me beat bro... congrats...

 

[balla06]

aint that the truth... i wonder if he will still say we are all a bunch of "no ass" gettin "fools" lol....

well, if thats the case, then bro.. i guess i get NO ass... hell, i guess when we think realistically, i HAVENT gotten laid in a month or so.. so, yea.. you got me beat bro... congrats...

i agree with everything OTH said and MAX, and also to point out if not already but pretty much was, its not moarlly right. its VERY disturbing. u must have at least 5 things u caught with dippin ur cock in any open hole u can, hell 200+ women u might jus have a new STD that u can name after urself!

O and i get plenty of ass bro and nor am i insecure about myself in any fuckin way

ya know "dont hate the player hate the game" right? well thats cool i feel that but 200+ is fuckin not a pimp if u will its fuckin SICK!

this cat prolly already has HIV and i feel very sorry for his wife, im sure shes a good girl and full of love and deserves much better then him! why dotn u be the bigger man and leave her and set her free? bc all u do like OTH said is take and take and take and give nothing in return

i pray for u! and GOD I HOPE AND PRAY U DONT LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR TEXAS!!!

 

[BOOMSHAKER]

Gentlemen, if you get past the numbers or whatever conclusions you draw of him showing off or not. (whatever) He is a guy that is married and is cheating. He is reaching out to us guys and gals on here for support. Not for his numbered conquests. He said he loves his wife and would like to stop cheating. Let's try to help the brother out in his time of need. Remember the shoe could be on the other foot one day. Peace bro's.

 

[balla06]

yea yea yea I know. Every guy who gets laid alot has insecurity issues blah, blah blah. That just tells me the person saying that (ie ForemanRules) does not get laid, it makes no since. Please someone come up with a new line, hating on me with juvenile remarks is not helping anyone. There are many confident guys who get laid a lot, that’s one of the reasons why they get laid, women love a confident man. Don't hate me because you can't get laid. I am am just asking for help.

well i guess i took this post wrong and i feel ya on him reachin out for help but when he gets ppls thoughts and then turns around says things like this and gets his panties in a bunch then it made me think other wise on his situation as well as it did for MAX also im sure.

 

[mrsoul]

yea yea yea I know. Every guy who gets laid alot has insecurity issues blah, blah blah. That just tells me the person saying that (ie ForemanRules) does not get laid, it makes no since. Please someone come up with a new line, hating on me with juvenile remarks is not helping anyone. There are many confident guys who get laid a lot, that’s one of the reasons why they get laid, women love a confident man. Don't hate me because you can't get laid. I am am just asking for help.

LOL! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GETTING LAID ALOT, BY ALOT OF DIFFERENT WOMEN::::::::::::: IF YOU ARE SINGLE! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO POSTED THIS AND THEN YOU GET MAD AT WHAT PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU. HEY GENIUS, YOU SAY YOU ARE NOT BRAGGING, BUT THEN YOU BELITTLE GUYS WHO ANSWER YOUR POST BY SAYING THEY DON'T GET LAID AS MUCH AS YOU. YOU SHOULD CONSIDER THIS A PROBLEM BECAUSE IT TAKES A MAN TO KEEP HIS VOWS. YOU DID TAKE THEM DID'NT YOU. YES I AM MARRIED, NO I DO NOT CHEAT, AND NO IT IS NOT BECAUSE I CANNOT GET LAID. IT IS BECAUSE I AM MARRIED! IF YOU ARE SINCERE, THEN I WOULD CHECK OUT SLAAA ( SEX AND LOVE ANONOYMOUS) MEETINGS AND GET A SPONSOR.

 

[mrsoul]

Wow. Great thread... oy vey! Only two possibilities:

1. You really did have sex with all those women. (Disturbing)
2. You really didn't and are posting this for attention. (Equally disturbing)

so here goes by scenario...

1. You seem to not want to take any serious advice (blah blah blah, etc.) even though you felt COMPELLED to post this in the "Counselling" Forum. Very strange. If you want reasons why you should not behave this way, there are many. First there is the obvious chance of disease or unwanted pregnancies. Second, you are ruining your future chance of ever finding a truly serious bond with a person you love (don't try to say that person is your wife). Third, you're married. So you are making a fool of her and she's so insecure that she doesn't have the courage to get out of a relationship that could be putting her very health in jeopardy - not to mention the plethora of emotional health risks for her. Five, you're taking advantage of your wife and her affection because it's seem to be clear that's all you want from her. So all you are doing is taking everything and giving NOTHING. To anybody.

2. More likely. You made this up or just posted it informatively to express to us all what a stud you are. If this is the case, you may not need therapy or counseling but just someone to tell you how pathetic and transparent it is to do such a thing. We are all very impressed by your sexual prowess and were we not the trolls we are, we would love to follow in your footsteps oh great one.

So either you're a thoughtless, self-involved individual with no regard for anyone but yourself, a major storyteller with low sexual self-esteem, or the least likely: someone who needs real therapy for a sex addiction/nymphomaniacal disorder.

WELL SAID AS USUAL!