- Joined
- Sep 13, 2012
- Messages
- 342
I choose steriods and other drugs... since that time i have lost all of the weight i have i gained beacuse i dont eat or sleep and can barly touch a weight. Ive treid to kill myself twice but i even suck at that, i moved to boulder Colorado to get away from her. Im so fucked up that i can't even hit on femals let alone the ones that have hit on me. I regret my descion everyday and for the last 2 months have been taking 1gram of gear for no reason as my diet and lifting have been shit..
But today i decided to make a change... today i dropped my gear(going to cruise on 100g of test a week until im mature and stable enough to start again and after i see the damage i have from these 4 months of on and off again 1g+ use .. The whole bam gaining 15klbs than loosing it all in a week from starving myself out of deppression. Honestly im just pushing on and forcing myself to get out of bed in the hopes that someday ill be able to make up for the family i selfishly threw away.. If you can see your self spending your life with someone don't throw it away for a hobby that will claim your life.... i would never touch a weight again if i could have my old life and girl back.. But as we know can't turn back time
But today i decided to make a change... today i dropped my gear(going to cruise on 100g of test a week until im mature and stable enough to start again and after i see the damage i have from these 4 months of on and off again 1g+ use .. The whole bam gaining 15klbs than loosing it all in a week from starving myself out of deppression. Honestly im just pushing on and forcing myself to get out of bed in the hopes that someday ill be able to make up for the family i selfishly threw away.. If you can see your self spending your life with someone don't throw it away for a hobby that will claim your life.... i would never touch a weight again if i could have my old life and girl back.. But as we know can't turn back time