Christmas Shopping

[stackdizzy]

Just got done shopping for christmas. I could have walked to the fucking mall faster than I drove to it! Feel like killing lots of people and burying them in the basemant. I saw a lady hitting here kid at the mall, wanted to hit her back but instead i just yelled" Ya beat the shit out of em,Come on get em" She looked at me with a dumb bitch look. Then I asked her if she is proud of herself, she just walked away after that. Told the sales lady at victorias secrete that I didn't want the fucking matching slippers twice but somehow she managed to ring em up anyway, had to wait 10 minutes for a fucking manager wanted to pick the chick up and toss her onto the goddamn display incredible hulk style......

 

[tbonus]

She looked at me with a dumb bitch look. .. but somehow she managed to ring em up anyway, had to wait 10 minutes for a fucking manager wanted to pick the chick up and toss her onto the goddamn display incredible hulk style......

That's good shit. Sounds like most of my mall experiences. I just shop online most of the time now. Maybe because I cant interact with people without my paxil, hehe.

 

[Sandblaster]

Take a chill pill...

I used to hate to shop. But now, I've got it down.

Rule#1--Don't rush. I spend ONE muthafuckin' day from sun-up to midnight. Have the list complete, no guessing. No weekend either, do a weekday.

Rule#2--Don't get malnourished. I eat all day while I'm at the mall(s), Cinnabons, Starbucks, pizza, chicken, anything that moves. Keep the energy up!

Rule#3--Look at the scenery. There are all sorts of hotties out. Women looking good at X-mas time!

Rule#4--Put a smile on your face. Every other muthafucka out there is grumpy. Be different. Laugh at the lines. Talk to people while you are waiting. You'll be surprised how quickly it goes when you do that--and you may even hook up if you are single.

Rule#5--Parking and traffic. Go to the farthest end of the parking lot and park there. The VAST majority of the time, there are spaces there because everyone is in a rush or afraid of walking. Hell, you'll need to walk after all the shit you eat. Don't get in a hurry to get out either because you know the line will be long.

You follow SB's five rules, Christmas shopping isn't that bad. What's bad is when you get the bill, but that's still a month away.

The Fredericks bitch would have pissed me off though...well, that is until I hit Cinnabon again...

SB

PS--Rule# 6--Buy online when you can and you minimize the headache of shopping at this time.