A Lawyer from New York is hunting duck in Texas. The Lawyer shoots a duck and it goes down in the field next door. As the Lawyer gets a leg up and over the fence a tractor idles up and a farmer says WHOA WHOA WHOA, what do you think you're doing? The Lawyer smiles and says I shot a duck and was just going to retreive it. The Farmer says I don't think so, that duck is on my land so its my duck, get off my fence. Pissed, the Lawyer says old man, I'm the best trial Lawyer in New York and if you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue your ass for everything you're worth. The Farmer lifts his brow and says that very well may be true sir but you're in Texas now and we do things the Texas way, we settle disagreements with the Texas Three Kick Rule. The Lawyer get a WTF look on his face and says what the hell is that? The Farmer explains that because we have a disagreement, we take turns kicking each other three times each until one of us gives up, and because the duck is on my land, I go first. The Lawyer sizes up the Farmer and thought, shit, this old man has to be 60, I'll fuck him up. No sooner does he say 'yeah' and the Farmer lands his first kick right in the balls. The Lawyer loses his breath and drops to his knees. He's thinking that dirty fucker and the second kick hits him square in the face. It damn near tears his nose off. He flops over and is thinking I have to quit, this old man is gonna kill me and the third kick drills him in the kidneys. He pisses himself and the pain is excruciating. He's going to quit and then he thinks, hey, thats three! Its my turn! I'm gonna kill this mother fucker. He gets to his feet and says alright old man, now its my turn. The Farmer looks at him and says, Nah, I quit, you can have the duck.