Contest Prep and Relationships

[Ataraxia]

This is proving to be a HUGE issue for me right now... I have been dieting and prepping for the past almost 4 months...
seems like my relationship got REALLY bad recently.... The few days my GF and I pigged out after my contest saturday we were fat happy cows....

and now im in prep and seems like it's going to shit again...

how many of you struggle with this and how do you make it work?

as you all know prep is serious sacrafice... forget about going out or most social events, food festivals etc...
So we don't have much fun... It's gym 2x per day and really low carbs...

HELP!!

 

[ajdos]

Ive been there and it aint pretty. Whomever you're with has to be a very understanding person.
This is why I started looking at only dating women who were serious about fitness and had the lifestyle. Even then it really wears on the person you are with. The only thing I could ever do was make it up to my gf/wife after the show and take her somewhere nice on a trip and take her out a bunch let her do all the things we hadn't been able to do. And absolutely not talk about bodybuilding during that time.
But I remember how it was, very tough bro.

 

[DK0223]

while i dont compete, i know what you mean. my gf is a foodie, and i love that lol. but at the same time it makes it hard for me to stick to my macros a lot of times :banghead:

if she is truly in it for the long haul, she will ride it out with/for you IMO:lightbulb:

 

[thehazzle]

I'm lucky I guess but also unlucky that my other half competes too. Two moody prep people does not make for much fun.

It's a mental thing though. Don't stress and worry and you can still prep and do things that make you happy. Just takes a bit of extra effort

 

[red5150]

You should still be able to go out for events, movies, BBQ's , birthday parties, cook outs etc. I do, I just eat or drink my own meals while everyone else gorges on pizza, dogs, burgers, or if I'm lucky enough to be able to have a cheat refeed schedule going out to dinner accordingly. In fact I'm going to a local town fair tonight, and may have an ice cream cone and soft pretzel since I'm still allowed to cheat. Maybe even an "elephant ear".

The issue I have is the jealousy from the gf. I'm nothing special but I do get some looks from women, and men (ugh) as I get leaner, and she cant handle not being the center of attention.

 

[JonnyO]

Oh man been there, try adding two little boys into the mix as well!

Its the going to the gym 2x daily and always you being away and at the gym and all your mind is on is the show and its taking attn away from her. Women need to feel important and loved, not 2nd best.

What I did to save time was bought a treadmill so I can do my cardio at home and not have to leave the house and go to the gym for it. Also timed my workouts around her schedule, when shes at work or kids at school or daycare, going later at night when kids are in bed and shes taking it easy and relaxing. This way everyones schedule was the same and their not mad because Im always at the gym etc.

I still go to all functions, never not went because I had to go train or anything. I just bring my own meals and its all good. I dont know how many birthdays and family get togethers Ive just sat there staring at everyone eating their delicious food, lol. Man just making my kids breakfast in the morning when Im a few weeks out and their having pancakes or french toast....total test of willpower, lmao.

 

[red5150]

Oh man been there, try adding two little boys into the mix as well!

Its the going to the gym 2x daily and always you being away and at the gym and all your mind is on is the show and its taking attn away from her. Women need to feel important and loved, not 2nd best.

What I did to save time was bought a treadmill so I can do my cardio at home and not have to leave the house and go to the gym for it. Also timed my workouts around her schedule, when shes at work or kids at school or daycare, going later at night when kids are in bed and shes taking it easy and relaxing. This way everyones schedule was the same and their not mad because Im always at the gym etc.

I still go to all functions, never not went because I had to go train or anything. I just bring my own meals and its all good. I dont know how many birthdays and family get togethers Ive just sat there staring at everyone eating their delicious food, lol. Man just making my kids breakfast in the morning when Im a few weeks out and their having pancakes or french toast....total test of willpower, lmao.

Nothing better ( and makes you question your sanity) than watching people eat pizza and cake and drinking beer, while gagging down some dry ass chicken and broccoli with a Liter of water huh

 

[JonnyO]

Nothing better ( and makes you question your sanity) than watching people eat pizza and cake and drinking beer, while gagging down some dry ass chicken and broccoli with a Liter of water huh

LOL yes it sure sucks. Why do shows always have to be timed so that we are dieting during the Summer???

 

[red5150]

LOL yes it sure sucks. Why do shows always have to be timed so that we are dieting during the Summer???

Yeah but the fall is much worse IMO. Ever try to get in 6 meals and pack your Tupperware while on a deer stand? Its bad enough having to take a pee bottle and not overflowing it 20 ft up in the air while dressed in 4 layers. Better yet who could diet through Thanksgiving and Christmas? At least during the summer if the party is outside you can wonder away for a bit while they are eating, but a sit down with the family over turkey and stuffing, and mashed potatoes, and gravy, pie, cookies, god that is hard!

 

[ajdos]

You should still be able to go out for events, movies, BBQ's , birthday parties, cook outs etc. I do, I just eat or drink my own meals while everyone else gorges on pizza, dogs, burgers, or if I'm lucky enough to be able to have a cheat refeed schedule going out to dinner accordingly. In fact I'm going to a local town fair tonight, and may have an ice cream cone and soft pretzel since I'm still allowed to cheat. Maybe even an "elephant ear".

The issue I have is the jealousy from the gf. I'm nothing special but I do get some looks from women, and men (ugh) as I get leaner, and she cant handle not being the center of attention.

Hahaha! It must be tough being a sexy beast.

 

[GS]

I have been there done that(lol) My wife went through powerlifing,bodybuilding,pro-wrestling and now back to bodybuilding again.In the beginning she was jealous but got it in her mind and enjoyed the attention from her friends,then hated it again because she wasn't getting my full attention etc etc .Then i got her involved and then the people she wanted attention from started to tell her positive things and other girls would ask her how they could get in her shape .Especially since she hit the 40(lol) So when she understood the lifestyle and got into it herself,and her hitting a summer cycle every year of var or clen she can't bitch about that ,well not to much
All in all in the 23 years of being married we just learned to except each other for who we are.

 

[irish_sd]

I have been there done that(lol) My wife went through powerlifing,bodybuilding,pro-wrestling and now back to bodybuilding again.In the beginning she was jealous but got it in her mind and enjoyed the attention from her friends,then hated it again because she wasn't getting my full attention etc etc .Then i got her involved and then the people she wanted attention from started to tell her positive things and other girls would ask her how they could get in her shape .Especially since she hit the 40(lol) So when she understood the lifestyle and got into it herself,and her hitting a summer cycle every year of var or clen she can't bitch about that ,well not to much
All in all in the 23 years of being married we just learned to except each other for who we are.

GS, were you a pro wrestler?
Somehow I can totally picture that!

 

[mytreefiddy]

MY GF is being great when it comes to this..... she's into fitness as well and understands...in fact it was her idea for me to compete..... i'm 2+ weeks out and its not bad at all....next year she's gonna compete for the 1st time and she'll get a taste of prep. I'll be there to support her every step of the way like she has with me....

 

[flexdurden]

Ive been there and it aint pretty. Whomever you're with has to be a very understanding person.
This is why I started looking at only dating women who were serious about fitness and had the lifestyle. Even then it really wears on the person you are with. The only thing I could ever do was make it up to my gf/wife after the show and take her somewhere nice on a trip and take her out a bunch let her do all the things we hadn't been able to do. And absolutely not talk about bodybuilding during that time.
But I remember how it was, very tough bro.

I have my last competition for the year this coming weekend and there have definitely been some rough patches going through this prep. I think the biggest issue with us is my fiance's attachment to her family. Hse really is overly attached to them and with dieting, I am not into going to all of their family dinners and the ones I have I brought my own food because it was something like pasta they were serving. She would get uncomfortable even though i didn't care and has made her feel torn. I explained to her that she has to realize that we are the ones getting married and I am not marrying her parents, what they think about my diet is nothing and that she has to realize that how we feel towards one another is what really matters. She is starting to see that this is about us being together, not me and her family.

She has also gotten a little worn out with not going out and doing some of the things we used to do, like going to wineries every weekend and having decadent cheat meals on the weekend or going out to get some gelatto. However, she has been behind me and keeping me motivated and she is into a fitness oriented lifestyle so we can eat together and I do all the cooking but now it is more of a plain variation of the things I used to cook. To keep her happy I do some sweet things like send flowers to work, leave her little notes, and plan things for after the show. I booked a vacation for us and we have several restaurants lined up we are going to go to as well as some foods we are going to cook and wines we are going to drink. Letting her know I am still there and still care is what is keeping her standing behind me in supporting my prep. But of course, you need to be with someone who is understanding and accepting of this endeavor and is also very patient.

 

[badgerchampion]

there is no good time to diet, seems anytime you do there is something going on

 

[SIR-LOIN]

This is all one main reason I'll never compete again. If I dont have potential to go pro, it just aint worth it, nowhere close. The misery of dieting, the $$$ to buy supps, required anti social aspects. I have nothing else to prove to myself, and if we're honest with ourselves, really almost nobody gives one sh!t that we look the way we do. I kidded myself for decades thinking that all the women wanted me and all the men were jealous. Really, it's not like that.

Not that I wont still eat clean to look good, but to get to say sub 8% bf just for the hell of it? Silly

 

[Jeremy24]

The key is trying to find a balance. for me some things that have helped

1.) getting a treadmill to do cardio at home
2.) ive been going to bed earlier and getting up earlier so i can hit the gym before work and be home with the family after
3.) getting my wife involved in the prep, having her help me take pics and cooking my meals together etc.
4.) setting a daily time for us to have dinner together, ill cook her whatever she wants and then ill have my meal at the table and its just like a family dinner

 

[tflexxin]

If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Finding the balance is the toughest part. Bodybuilding is a selfish undertaking. If she competes or at least trains with you, she will understand a little better. If not, it's never a good mix unless the woman is totally amazing. If so, marry her.

 

[GS]

Damn if you do, damned if you don't ,when it comes to women

 

[ajdos]

I can vividly remember being 2-3 weeks out from Jr USA and my ex-wife sitting on the couch while I was eating dry ass chicken and broccoli, and she's stuffing her face with fucking raviolis and telling me 'Ill be so glad when your diet is over!'
Yeah, I wanted to choke her ass.
Imagine that, SHE's tired of the diet.
Well-shes an ex for a reason.