Dating is a war zone: stay safe bros

[Sectør]

I just don’t know how people do it man. I’m pretty picky with who I date too. Finally found what I thought was a good one. Good looking girl, decent job, enjoying the time with her the last few weeks.

But the drama… Jesus fucking Christ the drama. I can’t even go to the gym for 2 hours without an argument breaking out because I didn’t text back. That was this morning.

This evening— argument breaks out again because I stopped responding. I mean the conversation fizzled out. This happens, plus I had errands and other shit to do. I figured no biggie, I’ll just text her later. Apparently it’s a problem again

I just can’t do this emotional drama shit. Is this normal? Guys with girlfriend and wife’s, or ex girlfriends or wife’s—how often do you guys argue? Is it over petty shit or actually important arguments?

Should I be happy that she cares if she’s this clingy? Or should I just turn and run? I think I was genuinely more happy when I was single minding my own business than being brought into this kind of petty drama.

 

[bigbumpkin2003]

Sadly those females what CONSTANT attention bro! I love mine with all my heart. Trust me I am so grateful I landed a gorgeous smart lady who’s half my age… fuck how can I not love it?! But I leave for the gym and it’s “ I miss you” “ How much longer?” “ I love you”. And don’t get it bent I appreciate the I love yous! I make sure every morning we look each other in the eye and say it and mean it. Cause anything can happen in the course of a day and I’m fucking almost 60 . So I want the last thing we say to each other if someone goes to be a great memory of us telling each other we love the other .


But yeah it’s all women bro

 

[my_way]

I’m not sure how old you are but dating women of my generation (gen z) has lead me to give up on any prospect of a relationship altogether. I dropped out of university two years ago after some shit with my ex just lead me down dark place mentally. I use to be the guy that would want more than just sex, like a deeper connection, but now I just laugh at how naive and foolish I was to think it would be possible. So I’m now just stopped giving a fuck, I’m only going to see a woman now just to get laid, nothing more. I don’t know if it’s a regional thing or all around the US but many women of my generation are so fucking backward thinking and will do anything to protect their little delusional imaginary world.

 

[Sectør]

Sadly those females what CONSTANT attention bro! I love mine with all my heart. Trust me I am so grateful I landed a gorgeous smart lady who’s half my age… fuck how can I not love it?! But I leave for the gym and it’s “ I miss you” “ How much longer?” “ I love you”. And don’t get it bent I appreciate the I love yous! I make sure every morning we look each other in the eye and say it and mean it. Cause anything can happen in the course of a day and I’m fucking almost 60 . So I want the last thing we say to each other if someone goes to be a great memory of us telling each other we love the other .


But yeah it’s all women bro

Sounds like you have a good one man and I definitely appreciate the reply.

Do you guys argue frequently though, or is it relatively infrequent?

Maybe I’m looking at the situation wrong and I should appreciate the clinginess? The emotional stuff confuses the hell out of me

Idk when I was single I never had any drama with anyone, never any arguments, my life was mostly peaceful, and now it’s like a constant thing over what I feel is stupid petty crap (like me not texting back fast enough)

Maybe I need to reframe my perspective? Or maybe just find a girl that doesn’t add negative stress to my life?

 

[bigbumpkin2003]

I’m not sure how old you are but dating women of my generation (gen z) has lead me to give up on any prospect of a relationship altogether. I dropped out of university two years ago after some shit with my ex just lead me down dark place mentally. I use to be the guy that would want more than just sex, like a deeper connection, but now I just laugh at how naive and foolish I was to think it would be possible. So I’m now just stopped giving a fuck, I’m only going to see a woman now just to get laid, nothing more

Well I honest hope that changes for you. Cause the one I am with now is definitely my partner and my better half. Do we disagree? Of course . Do we occasionally argue? Absolutely. But I can’t imagine walking thru this life without her by my side . The “ deeper” connection is most definitely what makes the relationship so rewarding. Nobody in this world I would rather have by my side

 

[Sectør]

I’m not sure how old you are but dating women of my generation (gen z) has lead me to give up on any prospect of a relationship altogether. I dropped out of university two years ago after some shit with my ex just lead me down dark place mentally. I use to be the guy that would want more than just sex, like a deeper connection, but now I just laugh at how naive and foolish I was to think it would be possible. So I’m now just stopped giving a fuck, I’m only going to see a woman now just to get laid, nothing more. I don’t know if it’s a regional thing or all around the US but many women of my generation are so fucking backward thinking and will do anything to protect their little delusional imaginary world.

I’m 29 but I share a lot of your sentiments and even experiences. I stopped dating for 2 years altogether after my last breakup. Just completely emotionally checked out and just focused on work and the gym.

Just more recently tried to get back into dating to see if I’m still even capable of feeling, and honestly this shit isn’t worth it.

Most of the good girls are taken. Then you have to filter out the multiple divorce, multiple kids with different guys girls, and the ones you’re left with are either unicorns, or batshit if you still want a good looking girl.

It doesn’t seem worth the headache.

 

[bigbumpkin2003]

Sounds like you have a good one man and I definitely appreciate the reply.

Do you guys argue frequently though, or is it relatively infrequent?

Maybe I’m looking at the situation wrong and I should appreciate the clinginess? The emotional stuff confuses the hell out of me

Idk when I was single I never had any drama with anyone, never any arguments, my life was mostly peaceful, and now it’s like a constant thing over what I feel is stupid petty crap (like me not texting back fast enough)

Maybe I need to reframe my perspective? Or maybe just find a girl that doesn’t add negative stress to my life?

See my response to our other brother. Lol. I guess in my limited experience the women I’ve known as this one… are a bit of a drama magnet sadly. But you can “train” them. Seriously mine was wanting to party go out every night the first couple years. We are starting our seventh year together!! And now she loves our quiet at home time. In fact one day we crawled into bed , flipped the TV on and she cuddled up and said” You know what honey? This is my favorite part of my day. I look forward all day to coming home and laying in bed with your arms around me.”

Fuck … who can’t love a woman like that?!

 

[Sectør]

Well I honest hope that changes for you. Cause the one I am with now is definitely my partner and my better half. Do we disagree? Of course . Do we occasionally argue? Absolutely. But I can’t imagine walking thru this life without her by my side . The “ deeper” connection is most definitely what makes the relationship so rewarding. Nobody in this world I would rather have by my side

Well I honest hope that changes for you. Cause the one I am with now is definitely my partner and my better half. Do we disagree? Of course . Do we occasionally argue? Absolutely. But I can’t imagine walking thru this life without her by my side . The “ deeper” connection is most definitely what makes the relationship so rewarding. Nobody in this world I would rather have by my side

You guys definitely look happy, and I am genuinely happy for you.

I also appreciate your perspective and insight a lot. Maybe this one just isn’t the right one for me based on the connection you feel with your partner.

feel like it’s way too soon to be arguing when it’s only been a few weeks.

 

[mexbeast]

Can you tell her straight out that you are not glued to your phone and that you can only text or talk when you are free? If an employee of mine is always on the phone he's gone! I have no patience or sympathy for that crap

 

[bigbumpkin2003]

Yeah if it’s only a few weeks I would feel a bit concerned. Lay it on the table if you genuinely like her and feel attracted. You have nothing to loose! Just remember ladies are all in the approach. How you say it and the words you choose. Just speak from the heart about the attraction and tell hey I don’t like feeling like we are arguing or disagreeing about things that are so unimportant. I want to see how far this relationship goes cause I genuinely like you and find you attractive. At least that’s what I’d do. That’s how I knew this one was the right one for me! We early on could have a discussion about things with each other that bothered us and find a resolution together.

 

[my_way]

I’m 29 but I share a lot of your sentiments and even experiences. I stopped dating for 2 years altogether after my last breakup. Just completely emotionally checked out and just focused on work and the gym.

Just more recently tried to get back into dating to see if I’m still even capable of feeling, and honestly this shit isn’t worth it.

Most of the good girls are taken. Then you have to filter out the multiple divorce, multiple kids with different guys girls, and the ones you’re left with are either unicorns, or batshit if you still want a good looking girl.

It doesn’t seem worth the headache.

27 here, I’m considering at this point to dating older women 35-40 at least someone that has her shit together mentally

 

[my_way]

Can you tell her straight out that you are not glued to your phone and that you can only text or talk when you are free? If an employee of mine is always on the phone he's gone! I have no patience or sympathy for that crap

I remember with mine there were days where if I didn’t respond to a text within half an hour she’d freak out and assume I wanted to end the relationship. “No im at work…”

 

[Sectør]

27 here, I’m considering at this point to dating older women 35-40 at least someone that has her shit together mentally

Yeah that’s exactly what I’m trying. She’s 37. Was thinking emotional maturity increases with age, and maybe it does.

Not working out that way at the moment though.

The idea of moving out to a ranch in the middle of bum fuck no where with a bunch of animals is starting to sound better by the day

 

[bigbumpkin2003]

In my past I felt like the ones in their 20s when I was… always felt like they wanted to be placed on a pedestal. To be taken care of , waited on and cared for. Which don’t get me wrong I do those things my lady, but she’s earned my reference , love, and respect. When shit was tough, she got right in there and rolled her sleeves up too. That’s how I knew . She was ready to put in the hard work as well.

The old saying goes that it’ll find you gentlemen when you least expect it are not looking

 

[Sectør]

Can you tell her straight out that you are not glued to your phone and that you can only text or talk when you are free? If an employee of mine is always on the phone he's gone! I have no patience or sympathy for that crap

Yeah I’ve kind of hinted to that subtly but maybe I need to try a more direct approach if I choose to even stay with this chick.

I agree with the phone and work thing completely. I can’t be fucking around on my phone all day or I’d never get anything done, and it should be the same with her I’d think. Unproductive people deserve to get canned

 

[gungalunga]

Good looking women in their 20s use hot-woman Jedi mind tricks just to mess with a guy's head. Sometimes just for the fun of it. When they hit their 30s they tend to get more reasonable and sane since the realize they aren't quite as hot as the new crop of twenty- somethings out there looking for a man.

 

[traininsane11]

Been with the same woman for 7 years now (both early 30’s) and genuinely never had a single legit argument

Baffles me when I have friends who keep fighting (sometimes literally) with their partners and every day is a coin flip on whether it will kick off at any minute. Some people seem to enjoy that kind of relationship but I’ve no idea at all why

 

[MonkeyBoy]

Insecure woman - RUN!!!! F that....

 

[my_way]

Insecure woman - RUN!!!! F that....

If a woman openly states she’s independent and confident then chances are she’s the very opposite

 

[my_way]

Good looking women in their 20s use hot-woman Jedi mind tricks just to mess with a guy's head. Sometimes just for the fun of it. When they hit their 30s they tend to get more reasonable and sane since the realize they aren't quite as hot as the new crop of twenty- somethings out there looking for a man.

I wonder if most dudes even know they’re being played with and manipulated. Based on conversations with guys I’ve known they all assume that they are in control when it seems like it’s their partner that really controlling them.