Thanks again guys. For her it is insecurities about my look, she said I cant even take that stuff to make my veins stick out. [ nitros oxide].
I explained the bennys of hgh but plain and simple if it enhanses my physic its gotta go. Basically she wont be happy till I look like a normall.
You, my friend, will never look normal. I mean it. Even if you lost 50 pounds of muscle - you are the kind of person who sticks out amongst a crowd of 100. You would have made a horrible Where's Waldo stand-in. This is why she fell in lust with you, and now it's time for her to put her big girl britches on and get used to this. And think about this - your veins will still stick out, especially if you get really good at manipulating your diet and fluid retention.
As for liking the attention, sure its nice who doesnt want to look ther best. Why do women take 2hrs getting ready, makeup, trying on 6 defferent sets of cloths pushup bras and what shoes go best? Attention, everone likes it.
Here's the thing with that though. If you only get one thing from me, I hope you take away this. Women spend that large amount of time getting ready because they're insecure. Sure it's to get attention because they look great, but the problem with looking great is that we all know in the back of our head, the day we don't look great, we will be tossed aside like an old shoe. If that's our only valuable asset, then ultimately we are fucked because we get old, we get fat, and every day is born another hot person, waiting to steal away our partner. Getting attention for your appearance is the most cursed gift in the world. It feels great but at the same time reinforces the fact that at a moment's notice this gift can be withdrawn. This makes women nutty and this is why you see that frantic search for something to wear - not because they feel proud, and secure and sure of themselves, but because they are worried "this could be the night that the veil falls and I'm exposed for just being average." This, my friend, is high-school level psychology. Time for graduation.
Maldorf I appreciate your oppinion, and yes I have gotten crazy on the dosages but plan on running trt dosages for a few mnths and never blasting more than a gram again. I feel great and only been running for 3 yrs not 10-20 but realize age is a factor, so maintaining my look is all desire on the lowest dose needed, hopefully just 250 test will work, well know by november I guess.
Here is what I would suggest - provided you get this situation figured out with your wife. Cruise with 150mg Test E. Blast with no more than 750mg total androgens. Don't keep pushing that TRT dose - you will need to find what gets you in the upper range for Testosterone and then leave it at that before those sides start getting you. It's easy to ignore this part so my suggestion to you is to go see a movie about a Stroke victim and ask yourself which side you want your pee bag to go on.
As for being huge - it's time to let that go, but I think you are already aware of this. As for looking amazing however, this is still very much possible. This will become the new chapter in your life where you learn how to get as much as possible from as little as possible. This is where you can get super-squared away on your diet, your training, your rest, and cutting out any alcohol and drugs that interfere with your goals. It's amazing what you can do when you get down to just the bare essentials and you're forced to learn how to get by with little assistance.
But I already know, that if you go this low and even if it is Doctor prescribed, but you look amazing, that your wife will have her own dragon to slay. After all she doesn't want you to look like a beast, so if you successfully acheive a beast-like look with little assistance, then it will become a problem for the relationship, unless she can come to terms with her own demons. But that is for her to deal with, not you.
I am lucky to have a women who loves me and have put her threw alot in the past. This new lifestyle has helped change alot of my other faults and live more on the straight and narrow now more than ever but as much as I improve it may just never be enough.[ one thing after another] never satisfied!!
Almost every single mental illness that affects man and woman comes down to an issue with our relationships with OURSELVES. Our self esteem dictates all actions that come out of us. Even when you think it might be something else, if you dig deep enough you will find almost every behavior stems from a belief deep inside of us about who we think we are and how much love we think we deserve.
You're right, it will never be enough. IF you allow your dragon to run your life, you will never have enough gear, or enough muscle, or enough leanness to relax and say, I am an amazing, lovable human being.
Same goes for your wife. It will never be enough. First it will be the gear, then it will be your clothes, then it will be the way you looked at the waitress, or the way the waitress looked at you. As long as she lets her dragon run her life, she will never be able to relax and say, I am an amazing, lovable human being.
The two of you owe it to yourselves to find an amazing counselor that can help you guys nip this in the bud. You're both getting too old for this high-school level mindfucking.
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